I'm just going to type and not let myself stop until I'm done.
So, holy emo post from me last time, and I apologize for bringing most of my friends list down with me. I've realized that when I get into that state I need to preface my posts with: "An few hours after I post this I'll be fine!".
ANYWAY! I spend too much time on the: "I can't do x", "Why can't I do y" versus just either sucking it up and doing it, or changing what I can to at least try. That being said, I actually picked up the phone, (twice!) and called a wife or two to just chat. I'm sick of having this phone phobia and realized that if I am ever going to get over it that I have to just pick up the damn phone and use it.
Then neither of you answered. ;) But then they both called me back and I had the best time just chatting! And then the guy from BCI arrived while I was talking to jesamin , which was akward. (BCI = Bureau of Criminal Investigations) They were doing a background check on a neighbor for a potential job application, just still, talking to wife and random investigator shows up...buzz kill. If you would like to help Tracey with the "Get Over the Fear of the Phone", let me know! I have two numbers and called them yesterday. I think I'll pester Matt into a webcam so we can get Skype, so I can chat with my international wife as well.
There are so many things I want to do, but keep telling myself that I don't have time, or that I just couldn't for whatever silly reason my brain cooks up, or what am I thinking. The end result being that I don't accomplish anything and get upset over it. Is doing something wrong that bad? Is failing such a terrible thing if it means I at least dropped these preconceived notions that I shouldn't try? I teach my kids to believe that they are capable of anything they try for, but yet sit my own ass in the dirt and pity my lack of motivation, not even noticing the hypocritical example that I'm showing.
And it isn't that my list of 'Wants and Dreams' include such items as, say, finding a cure for the common cold. Or balancing the national debt. They are things that stick in my head and just want to be tested, to see if I can do them, and maybe even finding out that I'm pretty flipping good at them after all.
If a friend came to me with an idea, I would encourage them, help them in however way I could. I would help them tend that dream until it bloomed with every blossom that it could muster. Why? Because it meant something to them, so it means something to me. They mean something to me, so even the simplest want is important. Yet I treat myself as if I am the least significant thing in the world. But then, if my friends think the same way as I do, don't I count? Aren't my dreams important, if not to me then to them? Why would I cover my dreams with mulch at the same time as my friends are trying to coax them out of the ground?
So enough of that then. Enough of pounding my dreams to dust and thinking that I don't count. My loved ones tell me otherwise and I try to make them out to me liars. I'm going to list things that I want to do and at least try them. Some are little, some are big, and some are huge. If I crash and burn at each one then we can all talk abut it and at least enjoy the how I did it or how I mucked it up hardcore. But I'll be able to say that I did them!
So! I've laid my thought bare to you all, with a two-part challenge. (And cookies if you're still here...) Part one is ask me about these things, don't let me make this some sort of wispy, dreamy, 'oh when I was a girl I had such dreams...' Part two? Do the same. You don't have to write out such a monster post like this, but share something, just one thing that you want to do. Let us help you tend that thought into something wonderful.
If I'm worth it, then you are as well.
ANYWAY! I spend too much time on the: "I can't do x", "Why can't I do y" versus just either sucking it up and doing it, or changing what I can to at least try. That being said, I actually picked up the phone, (twice!) and called a wife or two to just chat. I'm sick of having this phone phobia and realized that if I am ever going to get over it that I have to just pick up the damn phone and use it.
Then neither of you answered. ;) But then they both called me back and I had the best time just chatting! And then the guy from BCI arrived while I was talking to jesamin , which was akward. (BCI = Bureau of Criminal Investigations) They were doing a background check on a neighbor for a potential job application, just still, talking to wife and random investigator shows up...buzz kill. If you would like to help Tracey with the "Get Over the Fear of the Phone", let me know! I have two numbers and called them yesterday. I think I'll pester Matt into a webcam so we can get Skype, so I can chat with my international wife as well.
There are so many things I want to do, but keep telling myself that I don't have time, or that I just couldn't for whatever silly reason my brain cooks up, or what am I thinking. The end result being that I don't accomplish anything and get upset over it. Is doing something wrong that bad? Is failing such a terrible thing if it means I at least dropped these preconceived notions that I shouldn't try? I teach my kids to believe that they are capable of anything they try for, but yet sit my own ass in the dirt and pity my lack of motivation, not even noticing the hypocritical example that I'm showing.
And it isn't that my list of 'Wants and Dreams' include such items as, say, finding a cure for the common cold. Or balancing the national debt. They are things that stick in my head and just want to be tested, to see if I can do them, and maybe even finding out that I'm pretty flipping good at them after all.
If a friend came to me with an idea, I would encourage them, help them in however way I could. I would help them tend that dream until it bloomed with every blossom that it could muster. Why? Because it meant something to them, so it means something to me. They mean something to me, so even the simplest want is important. Yet I treat myself as if I am the least significant thing in the world. But then, if my friends think the same way as I do, don't I count? Aren't my dreams important, if not to me then to them? Why would I cover my dreams with mulch at the same time as my friends are trying to coax them out of the ground?
So enough of that then. Enough of pounding my dreams to dust and thinking that I don't count. My loved ones tell me otherwise and I try to make them out to me liars. I'm going to list things that I want to do and at least try them. Some are little, some are big, and some are huge. If I crash and burn at each one then we can all talk abut it and at least enjoy the how I did it or how I mucked it up hardcore. But I'll be able to say that I did them!
- Make homeade decorated sugar cookies
- Have a yard sale
- Call more friends and be more sociable
- Get a table at a craft sale/Maker's Market
- Make fleece coats for the kids for Christmas
- Learn Tunisian Crochet and make these
- Be room mom for pre-K
- Audition for next year's America's Got Talent and sing this
- Sew cloth diapers for Devon
- Write the story I've had in my head for years before it evaporates and the universe plants it in someone else's head
- Write the manga I've had in my head with capsulecorp_tm as the illustrator
- Organize my recipes. The binder(s) are breaking...
- Do 30 Shred with Jillian Michaels
- Not get knocked up at Disney, regardless of what certain spouses may find hilarious
- Attack my internet try list
- Publish one of the children's books I've written, with thecranewife as the illustrator
- Write a book on sock critters, I have an idea for under the sea patterns and one on jungle patterns
- Meditate more
- Get my teeth straightened
So! I've laid my thought bare to you all, with a two-part challenge. (And cookies if you're still here...) Part one is ask me about these things, don't let me make this some sort of wispy, dreamy, 'oh when I was a girl I had such dreams...' Part two? Do the same. You don't have to write out such a monster post like this, but share something, just one thing that you want to do. Let us help you tend that thought into something wonderful.
If I'm worth it, then you are as well.