Fic: The Dead Can Live (part 13 of 14)
It felt like something akin to madness to return to Calleva but Uncle Aquila had to be repaid, items had to be purchased for Trenus’s departure and Marcus had to be away from the farm before he lost control of himself and fell upon Esca like a starving man falls upon a loaf of bread. They had agreed, he and Esca, to forego any displays of intimacy while Trenus remained with them and Esca continued to spend his nights in the barn but there was nothing for Marcus to fear. He trusted Esca for he had no reason not to and the man’s word was his bond - his honour meant as much to him as any Roman, Marcus included. He had promised that Trenus and he had sought pleasure from each other only that one time and that there would be no repeat and although Marcus could barely contain his eagerness to have Esca lie beside him each night, he understood the wish for the two friends to spend as much time together as they could before they were parted once more.
It had proved to be an exquisite torture though, one that drove Marcus half mad with want, desperate as he was to have his hands on Esca again, to touch him and taste him and breathe in the intoxicating scent of his skin. Esca himself was not unaffected, his eyes lingering on Marcus at every opportunity but, as he had whispered one night before he retired to the barn, such abstention would only make the eventual resumption of more intimate activities that much sweeter. He was right of course but still temptation had proved almost too strong to resist and there was a touch of relief mixed in with the inevitable trepidation as Marcus had retrieved the required funds from their resting place and set off towards Calleva, leaving Esca and Trenus behind. All would be well, he reminded himself, for when he returned to the farm this time Esca would be waiting for him.
“There was no need for you to make the journey so soon, my boy,” Uncle Aquila said as a dusty and tired Marcus greeted him with a full purse of coins. “I can live without the money for now. The wolves are not circling.”
“Of that I have no doubt, uncle but I have always been a man who pays his debts quickly and I have no wish to change. Besides, I require the services of the market for Trenus is to leave the farm and I cannot let him go unprepared.”
“Leaving?” The old man’s bushy eyebrows tilted upwards in surprise.
“He goes with my blessing.”
“Alone?”
“Yes.”
Uncle Aquila shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes in exasperation. “You purchase a new slave, free him immediately and already you are dispatching him? Why must everything be done in such a hurry?”
“I fear you would not understand if I attempted to explain,” Marcus replied, “but I promised when I purchased him that I would not stand in his way.”
“I would have thought that you would cherish an extra pair of hands on that farm of yours.”
“I shall miss the help, yes but Esca and I have managed until now. We shall continue to manage.”
“Hmmm, Esca.” Uncle Aquila shook his head and gave a low, throaty chuckle, regarding Marcus with those shrewd eyes of his. “You look considerably less miserable than when I last saw you, a sight which I must admit pleases me although perhaps the reasons will not,” he said. “Am I to take it that recent discord has been resolved?”
“Fortuna has smiled upon me,” Marcus said. “Esca and I have resolved our differences and we are friends once again.”
“Indeed.” The old man finally relieved him of the coin purse. “Well, you know my feelings on that subject but I expect any disapproval on my part will fall on deaf ears.”
“Perhaps we can agree to disagree for you are my only living relative and as such you are very dear to me.” It felt a little awkward saying such things to his uncle but Marcus persevered for the sake of cordiality. “I have devoted most of my life to Rome and had I not been denied the chance to remain a soldier and serve her, I would have continued to live by the same rules as yourself without question. Recently however I have been shown that for my life to have real meaning, I must be true to myself first and Rome second.”
“And what of certain rumours that upset you so? Have you forgotten them?”
“I have earned the right to hold my head high, uncle,” Marcus declared with absolute conviction, “and our name will not be undone by gossip. My father can still walk with pride in the afterlife. If others seek to demean me in this world then I shall continue to hold my head high and I will treat them with the contempt they deserve. The farm is my property, Esca’s also and the life we lead there is ours to choose. My only regret is that you may be tainted by association with your wayward nephew.”
“Bah,” Uncle Aquila spluttered. “Since when have I ever bothered about what the gossips think of me? I’m too old to care. My only concern was for you.”
“And I am grateful for your concern, indeed I am grateful for everything you have done for me. I only ask that you do not think less of me for seeking happiness on my own terms.”
The old man continued to regard Marcus from under his heavy brow but before long he smiled and placed a gnarled hand on Marcus’s shoulder, embracing him with as much gusto as he ever had. “Come along, favourite nephew,” he said. “You need feeding and then perhaps you can at least try to make me understand why you are allowing one of your freedmen to escape the tyranny of your patronage so soon.”
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The market was bustling as always but Marcus knew what he wanted and he wished to be away from the place as quickly as possible. Trenus had been disappointed over Esca’s decision to stay but he had taken the news with good humour and although he could nary afford the extra expense, Marcus would not see him leave with nothing but the tunic on his back, nor would he see him unprotected against whatever dangers may lie ahead. He purchased a dagger, a bow and a quiver of arrows since Esca had told him that Trenus had been unrivalled amongst their own people when it came to the use of such weapons. At least, Marcus thought as he handed over the money to the merchant, Trenus would have every chance to be able to fend for himself.
As he bought extra food, Marcus nodded greetings to a few people he recognised whether they acknowledged him or not and he forced down the tightness that threatened to take root in his chest. If some still wished to slight him then he would endure, for Esca and for himself. He fortified himself with memories of the few hasty kisses and fervent embraces by the stream which had so far been all that heralded their happy reunion and eventually even began to feel pity for those who still threw him condescending glances and turned their backs. They would never know the love of one as faithful and worthy as Esca and their lives would be all the poorer for it.
“Ah, good day to you, young Aquila.”
The friendly greeting took Marcus by surprise and he looked around to see the trader whom he had last spoken to on the very day he first heard the rumours about himself and Esca, remembering how the man had alluded to some gossip but had chatted amiably with him regardless, even going so far as to put down a fellow stallholder for their snub.
“Good day to you,” Marcus replied. “How fares your business?”
“Well enough, my friend, well enough. My wife is content and my children go to their beds each night with full bellies so I have no complaints.”
“I am glad to hear it. Unfortunately I do not require any of your wares today but you can be assured of my business when next I come to town to purchase supplies for the farm.”
“Much appreciated,” the man said, grinning widely and beckoning him nearer. “A man such as yourself is a fine customer to have.”
“Thank you,” Marcus declared, feeling emboldened by the trader’s cheery face and friendly manner. “That is not an opinion shared by all and I am grateful to you for it. It would appear that some still do not think me deserving of their good graces.”
“Pffft.” The trader blew out his lips in disdain. “Those rumours? I hear more talk in your defence than I do in mean-hearted speculation against you. Pay no heed to anyone who still snubs you for I could tell you some new tales that have started circulating about the great and good of this town that would make your hair stand on end! A man’s life is his own in my opinion but there are those among us who will insist upon causing trouble.”
Marcus thought of Placidus and the man’s hope that Trenus would bring nothing but strife. “I must agree with you on that,” he said. “There are those who go out of their way to bring misery to others but sometimes their plans go awry. In such circumstances, it is best that they are shown the error of their ways and that their threats rain down trouble upon their own heads.”
“Well said!” The friendly trader nodded his head in vigorous agreement as his attention was drawn to a customer browsing around his stall. “Have you still some business to attend to or are you on your way back to your uncle’s?” he asked Marcus, always happy to continue chatting even when he was distracted by a potential sale.
Marcus had everything he required but an idea had sprung into his head and he was gripped by determination to act upon it so he bade the trader farewell, thanked him for his kind words and made his way across town to see to one last task.
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The sentry recognised Marcus but still he did his best to bar the way, advising that while the tribune was indeed present, he did not like to be disturbed. Undeterred Marcus swept past him and marched onwards to the chamber where he had last met with Placidus, ignoring the twinge in his thigh as each step brought with it a greater sense of fortitude. He would have his say and he would not be held back.
“Aquila!” Placidus exclaimed as he looked up from the scrolls he was pushing idly around his desk. He looked mildly annoyed to be interrupted and stood up as tall as he could, puffing out his puny chest. “What brings you here?”
“I happened to be in town,” Marcus said, “and thought you may be interested to hear news of your former slave since you put such effort into his sale.”
At the mention of Trenus, Placidus’s annoyed expression dissolved into one of smirking triumph.
“Of course,” he replied, his voice dripping with insincerity. “I am always happy to hear any news that concerns you, my esteemed friend and your growing collection of handsome natives. You will have to be quick however. While I realise that you no longer hold a position of any importance and cannot therefore be blamed for being at a loose end, I am extremely busy.”
Marcus fixed him with an intent glare but he did not allow Placidus’s words to hit their mark and he kept the desire to raise his voice under control.
“Obviously you are not so busy that you cannot waste time with insults.”
“I assure you, there was no insult intended. I was merely stating the facts as I see them.” Placidus sauntered over to where Marcus stood and let out an audible sigh. “Very well then,” he drawled. “How fares your latest purchase?”
“He is thriving,” Marcus advised. “He has more flesh on his bones and the bruises that he was sent to me with have faded.”
“One must let them know who is in charge, Aquila. I felt obliged to remind him of his place before allowing him to take up his position in your household.”
“Very generous of you, to show such concern for my welfare.”
“Tell me,” Placidus asked. “Have you become as attached to him as your other Brigantes?”
Deception did not usually come easy to Marcus but as he regarded the hateful man before him he found that on this occasion, the thought of a little pretence filled him with amusement and he tried his best to appear strained.
“We tolerate each other, nothing more,” he said, noticing that his attempt worked well for Placidus’s eyes were suddenly bright with interest. “He is not what I hoped he would be.”
“Do I detect a note of tension in your voice? I do hope that your new slave has not caused you trouble.”
“He is no longer a slave, a fact I am surprised that you were not aware of given your interest in my household.”
“You freed him?” Placidus paused and tilted his chin up, looking at Marcus down his perfect Roman nose. “How very noble of you. Rather ridiculous but most noble.”
“I gave him his freedom in the hope that his hostility towards me would be abate but his behaviour became disruptive and intolerable and I would be rid of him as quickly as possible. To that end, I must send him away.” Marcus cast his eyes down at the floor. “I did not however foresee that Esca would wish to leave with him. As you know, they are old friends.”
“Old friends, yes. I do seem to remember that theirs was quite an emotional reunion.” Marcus glanced up to see that the sly smile on Placidus’s face was now a wide and joyful grin. “My deepest regrets, Aquila. I cannot help but feel somewhat responsible for causing you such upheaval. Whatever will you do? Assert yourself or bow to Esca’s will?” He laughed, a cruel and hollow sound. “Oh, but I see by your woeful countenance that you have once more let yourself to be outdone by slaves and whores. How very unfortunate that you will lose your beloved companion and be left alone with nothing.”
Enough! Marcus dropped his mask of despondency and allowed a menacing smile to take its place.
“The misfortune is yours,” he growled, drawing his brows together. “All that effort you put in to your plan to disrupt my life, all that petty jealousy and it has come to nought!” He advanced on Placidus, eyes fixed on him and caught unawares Placidus backed away until he reached the wall and could go no further. “Trenus is an honourable and decent man! While it is true that he has his freedom and my permission to leave, there is no conflict between us. Esca did consider leaving and I would not have stopped him but he has chosen to stay and he has made that choice freely. I will not lose him and the man you thought to use as a pawn in your mischief-making is now free to make a new life for himself with every assistance I can provide.”
Placidus stared back in stunned silence, his eyes huge, his mouth hanging open.
“Do not ever think to spread more maliciousness,” Marcus continued, jabbing a finger into Placidus’s chest, “for I will not be cowed by rumour and vile plotting. You may think that you have influential friends but you are not alone in that. I also have friends who can be of use. I commanded my own cohort, remember. The men under my command thought highly of me and it would take but one word from me to bring more trouble or harm to you than you can possibly foresee.”
“How dare you threaten me!” Placidus finally found his voice but it was timid and shaky and he tried to shrink further from Marcus’s looming bulk even though the wall was at his back.
“I dare,” Marcus told him, pouring all the anger and pain of recent times into his words, “and I will see my threat through to its conclusion if you attempt more mischief.”
Once again Placidus’s mouth opened but made no sound and Marcus knew he had made his point and made it well. With a look that he hoped conveyed the disgust he felt, he turned his back on the tribune and hoped to never set eyes on the man again for as long as he lived.
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When Marcus returned from Calleva and the sun had set and risen twice more, all three young men stood in the yard of the farm as Trenus prepared to leave.
He had thanked Marcus for his new bow and dagger and seemed quite proud of them, spending time in the evenings hefting the dagger in his hand and challenging Esca to see who could fire their arrows the furthest. He had accepted Esca’s thick woollen cloak as a token of remembrance and the coins Marcus gave him in payment for the work he had done on the farm, not much but enough to see him on his way. How he would travel however had been a source of some slight disagreement. Marcus had assumed that he would go on foot, an assumption that Trenus had shared - Esca had argued that he must have a horse. Marcus had then been inspired to ask whether Trenus could wait until the autumn and take their entire harvest with him also whereupon Esca had crossed his arms over his chest and pouted and Marcus had admitted defeat.
“This benevolence of mine shall not last forever,” Marcus warned him, although he could not manage to tinge his voice with even the slightest note of reproach. “For now, I would do anything to make you happy but do not for one moment think that you can continue to run rings around me for whatever pleases you!”
“We shall see,” Esca had replied, his face blank but his eyes glinting at his victory.
Thus Trenus was gifted one of their horses to his great delight and to Marcus’s secret chagrin and he now loaded his supplies onto the animal’s back in readiness for his departure.
“I have one more thing for you,” Marcus said, holding out the small scroll that he had written the previous night, alone in the farmhouse.
“You have given me enough,” Trenus protested, eyeing the scroll. “Food, clothing, coins, weaponry. What else could I possibly need?”
“If you do not wish to keep it then burn it on the first fire you light. It is a letter from your patron, to be used in the event that you meet troublesome Romans who would question your freedom.”
Trenus stared at the roll of parchment but he took it and tucked it into his pack of belongings. “You are a strange Roman, Marcus Flavius Aquila,” he said, “but you are a good man and I count myself privileged to have known you.”
Marcus nodded and stood aside, allowing Esca to step forward. He suspected that they had already said their goodbyes in private, probably talking to each other in their own language long into the previous night if the dark smudges under Esca’s eyes were any indication and there was no jealousy in his heart as the two Brigantes embraced fiercely.
“Goodbye, my friend,” Trenus said in his accented Latin. “You will never be far from my thoughts.”
“Nor will you be far from mine,” Esca assured him, his voice thick with sorrow.
“Perhaps one day I shall return this way to see how you fare and to repay the kindnesses that have been shown to me.”
“And we shall be here if you do. You will always have a place with us, if need be.”
Trenus smiled and turned to Marcus once more, his eyes now clouded with gravity. “Be worthy of him,” he said. “He is the best of men.”
“I will.”
After one last embrace with Esca, Trenus mounted his horse and rode away from them, turning to look back only once and then he was gone. Marcus moved to stand next to Esca and laid a hand on his shoulder to offer comfort.
“I am sorry,” he said. And he was sorry for he knew that Trenus’s departure had hurt Esca, no matter the brave face he was stoically maintaining.
For a moment Esca said nothing and continued to stare into the distance at an empty horizon but then he nodded his head in acknowledgement. “I know,” he murmured. He looked up at Marcus, smiled at him and took his hand. “It is enough to know that he lives and he is free.”
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For the remainder of the day they went about their work, just as they had done so often in the past. Esca was easily distracted though and Marcus was obliged to complete many of the chores that he left unfinished but it was no hardship and he said nothing. The wound of Trenus’s departure was still raw and open but it would heal in time and Marcus would do everything he could to ease Esca’s sense of loss. He deliberately left him alone with his thoughts, content that Esca would come to him when he was ready but as they prepared their evening meal he noticed with a surge of happiness and longing that Esca’s bedding once more lay next to his.
“You are back where you belong,” he said, watching Esca as he stirred the pot over the fire. “This place will seem like home again with you here beside me.”
“Home,” Esca mused, glancing over at Marcus and smiling at him affectionately. “I am fond of this place but we could live in a cave and I would be happy as long as you were there. Wherever you are Marcus, that is home to me.”
He ladled spoonfuls of steaming, mouth-watering stew into their bowls and they ate in silence but their eyes frequently met as they finished their food and then cleared the table, occasionally bumping gently into each other and chuckling.
“You look tired,” Marcus said, glad for the contact but keen for Esca to understand that he would wait a little longer for anything more if he had to. “You should sleep. Today has not been easy for you.”
Esca shook his head though, regarding Marcus with an intense gaze that was almost hypnotic in effect. “I have no wish to sleep, not yet. We have waited long enough.”
He backed away towards the sleeping area and Marcus followed, barely able to contain himself when Esca stopped and pulled his tunic over his head, dropping it at his feet. With a sharp intake of breath Marcus reached out and brushed the tips of his fingers against Esca’s skin, as if touching him for the very first time.
“I have missed you,” he whispered.
“Show me, Marcus. Show me how much you have missed me.”
Esca’s grey eyes were almost black as Marcus removed his own tunic, his braccae and his boots until he was completely naked, his cock already painfully hard and jutting out in front of him. This time it was Esca’s turn to reach out and touch, gently stroking him as Marcus rubbed his thumb along his bottom lip. Esca’s lips parted with a soft gasp and Marcus leaned in to kiss him, slowly at first and then deeper as he fumbled with Esca’s braccae and clumsily helped him out of the remainder of his clothing, pulling him close and feeling evidence of an arousal to match his own.
Esca gasped again, louder this time as Marcus ground against him. “You are a fool Marcus,” he panted, “but you are my fool and I will not be parted from you, not for anything.”
They lay down next to each other and Marcus sought out all those places that drove Esca wild as they kissed and stroked and rubbed faster and harder, reacquainting themselves, whispering each other’s names as already Marcus felt his release gathering deep within himself. It would be over quickly this time but there would be chances enough in the nights to come to linger, limbs entwined, fingers slowly tracing patterns on taut familiar skin.
They fit together perfectly, as if each had been made especially for the other and Marcus covered Esca with his body, moulding himself against the smaller man, trapping their rigid cocks and sliding them together. Esca grunted and moaned his appreciation at the friction, his fingernails digging into Marcus’s flesh with a delicious pain that Marcus would gladly feel every moment of every day.
“I love you,” he mumbled against Marcus’s mouth. “Everything I have - my heart, my body - it is all yours.”
“As I am yours, Esca.”
“Never leave me.”
It was more a command than a plea and Marcus had no hesitation in answering.
“Never.”
“Promise me.” Esca’s fingernails dug even deeper and he rolled them both until he lay on top of Marcus, his teeth nipping at every area of skin he could reach as he took one of Marcus’s hands and slid it between them, clasping it around their cocks and squeezing tightly.
The nips became bites, forceful and hungry but Marcus was past caring as he sucked hard at the base of Esca’s neck, hard enough to raise an angry red bruise, marking him, reclaiming him as his own. One stroke, then another and he could no longer hold back. With an uncharacteristically loud, drawn-out cry he spilled at the exact moment Esca released a muffled groan into his shoulder and bucked against him, adding his own release to the warm wet pool that spread between them.
“I promise,” Marcus murmured when he could speak again, his harsh ragged breathing returning slowly to normal.
Esca hummed and slid off him, already half asleep and Marcus let him settle then he pulled some of the furs over them both as best he could and pressed a kiss to the top of Esca’s tousled head, overjoyed to have the man he loved back in his arms.
“Sleep well, my love,” he whispered against the unruly mop of hair. “I will never give you reason to doubt me again, may the gods strike me down if I speak false.”