Fic: Helping Hands
Does exactly what it says on the tin :)
Marcus lay awake in the dark, hard and aching and in utter despair. Normally he wouldn’t think twice about taking himself in hand while Esca slept on his pallet over the door but tonight Esca wasn’t asleep. Marcus could hear him shifting restlessly over and over again, leaving him with a dilemma.
He was a Roman, he should feel no shame in giving himself relief while a slave was present in the room but there was something about Esca’s presence that unnerved him, that made him want to hold back. He squeezed his cock hard, trying to coax it into submission but to no avail and the longer he lay there listening to Esca’s fidgeting, the more urgent his need seemed to become.
It occurred to him suddenly that perhaps the reason for Esca’s sleeplessness was the same as his own. Esca was young and healthy and he must have needs of his own and Marcus felt slightly guilty for never having considered this before. As if he was not being tormented enough tonight, his shame increased greatly when a persistent idea formed in his head, a preposterous and utterly unworthy thought for any Roman.
“Esca,” he whispered, hoping that he wouldn’t alarm the other man too much. “Are you awake?”
Esca stilled and hesitated before replying.
“I am. Do you have need of me?”
His eyes already adjusted to the dark, Marcus saw Esca rise from his pallet and move across the room to stand beside the bed, and even in the shadows he could see that he had been right. Esca stood with his eyes cast down at the floor, awaiting instruction while his hands clasped in front of his lap in an attempt to cover his predicament.
Marcus sat up and took a deep breath, still wrestling with the conflicting voices in his head, one which told him he was shaming himself and sullying his family name even further with such thoughts, the other which urged him to proceed.
It was this second voice that cried out the loudest and made Marcus’s gut clench with anticipation.
“I find I cannot sleep either and it..,” he stumbled over the words slightly, cursing himself for showing such anxiety in expressing himself to his slave. “It would appear that we are afflicted with the same problem.” He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to calm himself. “I thought perhaps we could help each other.”
There. It had been said and could not now be taken back. Esca could not refuse him, Marcus knew that but he hoped that his offer would be taken for what it was, a suggestion of mutual assistance from one man to another.
Esca shifted uneasily on his feet, still staring at the floor.
“What help would you have me give you?” he said quietly, a stiff strained tone to his voice.
Marcus huffed out a small laugh to try and calm his nerves although he was slightly puzzled by the question for Esca was not simple and must surely have understood.
“I should have thought that was obvious,” he said, indicating his lap and untying his subligaculum.
Esca’s body seemed to tense even further.
“Do you wish me to use my hand or my mouth or do you wish me to lay down for you?”
Marcus felt a flash of irritation that Esca would think him so ungenerous but he was a slave after all and could hardly be blamed for assuming that he was being asked to give relief without receiving any himself.
“It seems you didn’t hear my offer properly,” Marcus told him gently. “I proposed that we help each other. Your hand will be sufficient.” He shifted in the bed to make room and motioned for Esca to sit down beside him.
Esca’s unease seemed to loosen a little as he sat on the edge of the wooden bed frame, his eyes still resolutely avoiding Marcus’s and as close as they were now, Marcus could see the frown on his face as if he couldn’t quite believe what was happening.
“It’s alright Esca,” Marcus whispered. “It doesn’t mean anything.”
He reached out and took one of Esca’s hands, laying it in his lap and letting out an almost imperceptible sigh as he felt rough fingers wrap around his cock, watching as Esca’s hand began slowly but firmly to stroke him. Marcus slid his own hand inside the braccae that Esca was wearing, taking hold of him and stroking in a rhythm to match Esca’s own.
It didn’t take long.
Throughout they both remained silent, biting their lips to stifle their moans, keeping their eyes averted from each others faces which was probably for the best, Marcus thought, before he lost all ability to think of anything but the long-awaited pleasure which finally coursed through him.
This was relief given and received, he told himself. Nothing more.
They didn’t look at each other afterwards either and once Esca had fetched a cloth and a bowl of water to clean them both, he returned to his pallet in silence while Marcus turned on his side with his back towards the door.
****
No mention was made of the previous night’s events when they rose in the morning and things continued between them much as they had done before. Esca went about his duties with his usual efficiency while Marcus concentrated on strengthening his leg, and the easy harmony which had started to grow between them in recent months appeared unaffected.
Marcus allowed himself to reflect on what had happened only briefly before putting it firmly out of his mind once and for all. Of course as a Roman and Esca’s master, he should have asked to receive relief without returning the favour but he was not a selfish man and these days he almost thought of Esca as a friend. He resolved that there was no shame in what they had done and that what happened in the privacy of his bedchamber was not something to be dwelt upon.
****
For the next five nights Marcus lay awake long after he had retired to bed, denying himself relief when his body demanded it, telling himself that he was simply having trouble sleeping and not listening for the tell-tale rustling from Esca’s pallet. On the sixth night he heard it, that same restless shifting he had heard before and within a few seconds he was hard and throbbing, his heart thudding frantically in his chest as he once more whispered Esca’s name in the dark.
This time there was no need for explanations. Esca came to him and they took each other in hand, still avoiding each others eyes in the dim light cast from the lamp as it burned low in the corner of the room.
****
For some weeks they continued like this. They never spoke of what happened between them during the quiet hours of the night but in the light of the day, the tentative stirrings of their friendship blossomed into a mutual understanding and respect which made Marcus’s heart swell. After the pain and misery of his injury and the loss of his hopes for the future, he had craved a friend to help fill the long days that stretched out before him and it seemed that in Esca, he had been rewarded with that which he had prayed to the gods for.
****
Perhaps the lamp had been filled too full of oil for it seemed to burn very brightly as Marcus whispered for Esca to come to him. The shadows that usually shielded them had shrunk back into the very corners of the bedchamber but Marcus found that he could not wait, he yearned for the feel of Esca’s hand on him, he wanted to feel the rigid hardness and soft skin of Esca’s cock under his fingers.
It occurred to him to suggest dousing the lamp but as he looked up he met Esca’s eyes and suddenly he felt something inside him give way. Esca’s cheeks were flushed, his eyes bright and wide as they stared back at Marcus, his breaths coming short and fast in time with the movements of their hands. Esca was close, Marcus could see the tension in his face and the sight sent sparks of intense pleasure surging through him. With his free hand he reached up and grasped the back of Esca’s neck, pulling him forward until their foreheads met and they were gasping into each others mouths.
They shuddered against each other almost simultaneously and this time there was no instant parting once they were done, no silent settling back into their separate sleeping areas. This time they stayed awhile, sitting on the bed with their foreheads still pressed together long after they had recovered, Marcus’s hand still on Esca’s neck, his fingers gently stroking Esca’s hair.
****
Marcus had no reason to suppose that anything was about to change as he and Esca chased down the wild boar, hunting together with an ease and a symmetry that many men would work hard for and still fail to find. They prepared their kill and took it back to the villa kitchens then headed through the atrium, looking curiously at the soldiers who waited there, surprised to find that Uncle Aquila had guests.
By the time dinner was over, all thoughts of what he had shared with Esca were gone from Marcus’s mind, his whole being consumed with anger and a fierce determination to travel into the wild lands of the north and recover the lost Eagle standard.
They set forth, he and Esca, only a few days later and as they travelled to the wall and then beyond it into unknown territories, there was no opportunity to give each other release. They were too tired, too cold.
Too suspicious.
Too frightened.
****
When they returned, Esca was a free man and although the bond between them could never now be broken, Marcus could not bring himself to remind his friend of what had passed between them before they had ventured north. Esca had been given his own small bedchamber in the villa and so Marcus would lie awake at night alone, listening in the dark for sounds that would never come, ignoring his body’s needs because it was Esca’s hand he wanted on him, not his own.
Sometimes however he fancied that Esca’s eyes lingered on him as they went about their daily business and a glimmer of hope began to take root in Marcus’s heart that although much remained unspoken between them, perhaps all was not lost.
****
Days, weeks, months passed and the time came for Marcus and Esca to leave Uncle Aquila’s villa for the property they had purchased nearby. It was only a small farm but it was enough for them to start out with and although there was work to be done to fix up the farmhouse, it was habitable.
They had made several trips from the villa with Uncle Aquila’s cart, transporting Marcus’s belongings and the few items of furniture that they had bought or been gifted but now, finally, they were settled in their new home. On the first day there, they spent so much time walking on their land and excitedly making all kinds of grand plans that it had long since turned dark by the time they even considered retiring for the night. They had already set up their beds in the sleeping area, Marcus having brought a wooden frame from Uncle Aquila’s villa while Esca preferred simply a pile of furs on the floor, and they bid each other goodnight still full of ideas and plans.
As Marcus turned towards his bed however Esca caught his arm, sliding his hand down until his fingers curled around Marcus’s and rested there.
“Come with me,” he said quietly, gently pulling Marcus towards the corner of the room where his own bedding had been set down. “I have missed you.”
Marcus couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face.
“Have you?” he asked, his voice almost a whisper. He stroked his fingers along Esca’s stubbled jaw then leaned in and kissed him, a gentle press of lips that soon became firmer and more insistent. “I thought perhaps you had forgotten.”
“Never.”
Marcus unbuckled the belt around Esca’s waist and let it fall to the floor, lifting his tunic off to expose pale skin, the ink patterns catching Marcus’s eye as they always did. His own tunic went the way of Esca’s followed by the remainder of their clothing until they were naked before each other.
Marcus ran his hands lightly over Esca’s body, shivering and groaning quietly as Esca mimicked his actions. They lay down together on the furs, their eyes locked on each other so they would miss nothing as the first stirrings of desire built into almost unbearable ecstasy, their bodies responding instantly to the remembered touch of the other. That night their gasps and moans filled the air, lips and tongues feasting greedily as they held nothing back, pressing against each other and moving as one, limbs entwined. It had been too long and oh, how Marcus had ached to feel Esca’s touch again, to breathe in his scent and watch him lose control.
When they were done they lay quietly in each others arms and waited for sleep to come to them, and Marcus silently gave up a prayer of thanks to his gods. Esca’s place had always been by his side, from the moment Uncle Aquila had brought him home to their frantic flight from the Seal People, and now it would seem Marcus could keep him even closer for the remainder of their days.
Marcus lay awake in the dark, hard and aching and in utter despair. Normally he wouldn’t think twice about taking himself in hand while Esca slept on his pallet over the door but tonight Esca wasn’t asleep. Marcus could hear him shifting restlessly over and over again, leaving him with a dilemma.
He was a Roman, he should feel no shame in giving himself relief while a slave was present in the room but there was something about Esca’s presence that unnerved him, that made him want to hold back. He squeezed his cock hard, trying to coax it into submission but to no avail and the longer he lay there listening to Esca’s fidgeting, the more urgent his need seemed to become.
It occurred to him suddenly that perhaps the reason for Esca’s sleeplessness was the same as his own. Esca was young and healthy and he must have needs of his own and Marcus felt slightly guilty for never having considered this before. As if he was not being tormented enough tonight, his shame increased greatly when a persistent idea formed in his head, a preposterous and utterly unworthy thought for any Roman.
“Esca,” he whispered, hoping that he wouldn’t alarm the other man too much. “Are you awake?”
Esca stilled and hesitated before replying.
“I am. Do you have need of me?”
His eyes already adjusted to the dark, Marcus saw Esca rise from his pallet and move across the room to stand beside the bed, and even in the shadows he could see that he had been right. Esca stood with his eyes cast down at the floor, awaiting instruction while his hands clasped in front of his lap in an attempt to cover his predicament.
Marcus sat up and took a deep breath, still wrestling with the conflicting voices in his head, one which told him he was shaming himself and sullying his family name even further with such thoughts, the other which urged him to proceed.
It was this second voice that cried out the loudest and made Marcus’s gut clench with anticipation.
“I find I cannot sleep either and it..,” he stumbled over the words slightly, cursing himself for showing such anxiety in expressing himself to his slave. “It would appear that we are afflicted with the same problem.” He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to calm himself. “I thought perhaps we could help each other.”
There. It had been said and could not now be taken back. Esca could not refuse him, Marcus knew that but he hoped that his offer would be taken for what it was, a suggestion of mutual assistance from one man to another.
Esca shifted uneasily on his feet, still staring at the floor.
“What help would you have me give you?” he said quietly, a stiff strained tone to his voice.
Marcus huffed out a small laugh to try and calm his nerves although he was slightly puzzled by the question for Esca was not simple and must surely have understood.
“I should have thought that was obvious,” he said, indicating his lap and untying his subligaculum.
Esca’s body seemed to tense even further.
“Do you wish me to use my hand or my mouth or do you wish me to lay down for you?”
Marcus felt a flash of irritation that Esca would think him so ungenerous but he was a slave after all and could hardly be blamed for assuming that he was being asked to give relief without receiving any himself.
“It seems you didn’t hear my offer properly,” Marcus told him gently. “I proposed that we help each other. Your hand will be sufficient.” He shifted in the bed to make room and motioned for Esca to sit down beside him.
Esca’s unease seemed to loosen a little as he sat on the edge of the wooden bed frame, his eyes still resolutely avoiding Marcus’s and as close as they were now, Marcus could see the frown on his face as if he couldn’t quite believe what was happening.
“It’s alright Esca,” Marcus whispered. “It doesn’t mean anything.”
He reached out and took one of Esca’s hands, laying it in his lap and letting out an almost imperceptible sigh as he felt rough fingers wrap around his cock, watching as Esca’s hand began slowly but firmly to stroke him. Marcus slid his own hand inside the braccae that Esca was wearing, taking hold of him and stroking in a rhythm to match Esca’s own.
It didn’t take long.
Throughout they both remained silent, biting their lips to stifle their moans, keeping their eyes averted from each others faces which was probably for the best, Marcus thought, before he lost all ability to think of anything but the long-awaited pleasure which finally coursed through him.
This was relief given and received, he told himself. Nothing more.
They didn’t look at each other afterwards either and once Esca had fetched a cloth and a bowl of water to clean them both, he returned to his pallet in silence while Marcus turned on his side with his back towards the door.
****
No mention was made of the previous night’s events when they rose in the morning and things continued between them much as they had done before. Esca went about his duties with his usual efficiency while Marcus concentrated on strengthening his leg, and the easy harmony which had started to grow between them in recent months appeared unaffected.
Marcus allowed himself to reflect on what had happened only briefly before putting it firmly out of his mind once and for all. Of course as a Roman and Esca’s master, he should have asked to receive relief without returning the favour but he was not a selfish man and these days he almost thought of Esca as a friend. He resolved that there was no shame in what they had done and that what happened in the privacy of his bedchamber was not something to be dwelt upon.
****
For the next five nights Marcus lay awake long after he had retired to bed, denying himself relief when his body demanded it, telling himself that he was simply having trouble sleeping and not listening for the tell-tale rustling from Esca’s pallet. On the sixth night he heard it, that same restless shifting he had heard before and within a few seconds he was hard and throbbing, his heart thudding frantically in his chest as he once more whispered Esca’s name in the dark.
This time there was no need for explanations. Esca came to him and they took each other in hand, still avoiding each others eyes in the dim light cast from the lamp as it burned low in the corner of the room.
****
For some weeks they continued like this. They never spoke of what happened between them during the quiet hours of the night but in the light of the day, the tentative stirrings of their friendship blossomed into a mutual understanding and respect which made Marcus’s heart swell. After the pain and misery of his injury and the loss of his hopes for the future, he had craved a friend to help fill the long days that stretched out before him and it seemed that in Esca, he had been rewarded with that which he had prayed to the gods for.
****
Perhaps the lamp had been filled too full of oil for it seemed to burn very brightly as Marcus whispered for Esca to come to him. The shadows that usually shielded them had shrunk back into the very corners of the bedchamber but Marcus found that he could not wait, he yearned for the feel of Esca’s hand on him, he wanted to feel the rigid hardness and soft skin of Esca’s cock under his fingers.
It occurred to him to suggest dousing the lamp but as he looked up he met Esca’s eyes and suddenly he felt something inside him give way. Esca’s cheeks were flushed, his eyes bright and wide as they stared back at Marcus, his breaths coming short and fast in time with the movements of their hands. Esca was close, Marcus could see the tension in his face and the sight sent sparks of intense pleasure surging through him. With his free hand he reached up and grasped the back of Esca’s neck, pulling him forward until their foreheads met and they were gasping into each others mouths.
They shuddered against each other almost simultaneously and this time there was no instant parting once they were done, no silent settling back into their separate sleeping areas. This time they stayed awhile, sitting on the bed with their foreheads still pressed together long after they had recovered, Marcus’s hand still on Esca’s neck, his fingers gently stroking Esca’s hair.
****
Marcus had no reason to suppose that anything was about to change as he and Esca chased down the wild boar, hunting together with an ease and a symmetry that many men would work hard for and still fail to find. They prepared their kill and took it back to the villa kitchens then headed through the atrium, looking curiously at the soldiers who waited there, surprised to find that Uncle Aquila had guests.
By the time dinner was over, all thoughts of what he had shared with Esca were gone from Marcus’s mind, his whole being consumed with anger and a fierce determination to travel into the wild lands of the north and recover the lost Eagle standard.
They set forth, he and Esca, only a few days later and as they travelled to the wall and then beyond it into unknown territories, there was no opportunity to give each other release. They were too tired, too cold.
Too suspicious.
Too frightened.
****
When they returned, Esca was a free man and although the bond between them could never now be broken, Marcus could not bring himself to remind his friend of what had passed between them before they had ventured north. Esca had been given his own small bedchamber in the villa and so Marcus would lie awake at night alone, listening in the dark for sounds that would never come, ignoring his body’s needs because it was Esca’s hand he wanted on him, not his own.
Sometimes however he fancied that Esca’s eyes lingered on him as they went about their daily business and a glimmer of hope began to take root in Marcus’s heart that although much remained unspoken between them, perhaps all was not lost.
****
Days, weeks, months passed and the time came for Marcus and Esca to leave Uncle Aquila’s villa for the property they had purchased nearby. It was only a small farm but it was enough for them to start out with and although there was work to be done to fix up the farmhouse, it was habitable.
They had made several trips from the villa with Uncle Aquila’s cart, transporting Marcus’s belongings and the few items of furniture that they had bought or been gifted but now, finally, they were settled in their new home. On the first day there, they spent so much time walking on their land and excitedly making all kinds of grand plans that it had long since turned dark by the time they even considered retiring for the night. They had already set up their beds in the sleeping area, Marcus having brought a wooden frame from Uncle Aquila’s villa while Esca preferred simply a pile of furs on the floor, and they bid each other goodnight still full of ideas and plans.
As Marcus turned towards his bed however Esca caught his arm, sliding his hand down until his fingers curled around Marcus’s and rested there.
“Come with me,” he said quietly, gently pulling Marcus towards the corner of the room where his own bedding had been set down. “I have missed you.”
Marcus couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face.
“Have you?” he asked, his voice almost a whisper. He stroked his fingers along Esca’s stubbled jaw then leaned in and kissed him, a gentle press of lips that soon became firmer and more insistent. “I thought perhaps you had forgotten.”
“Never.”
Marcus unbuckled the belt around Esca’s waist and let it fall to the floor, lifting his tunic off to expose pale skin, the ink patterns catching Marcus’s eye as they always did. His own tunic went the way of Esca’s followed by the remainder of their clothing until they were naked before each other.
Marcus ran his hands lightly over Esca’s body, shivering and groaning quietly as Esca mimicked his actions. They lay down together on the furs, their eyes locked on each other so they would miss nothing as the first stirrings of desire built into almost unbearable ecstasy, their bodies responding instantly to the remembered touch of the other. That night their gasps and moans filled the air, lips and tongues feasting greedily as they held nothing back, pressing against each other and moving as one, limbs entwined. It had been too long and oh, how Marcus had ached to feel Esca’s touch again, to breathe in his scent and watch him lose control.
When they were done they lay quietly in each others arms and waited for sleep to come to them, and Marcus silently gave up a prayer of thanks to his gods. Esca’s place had always been by his side, from the moment Uncle Aquila had brought him home to their frantic flight from the Seal People, and now it would seem Marcus could keep him even closer for the remainder of their days.