Bus Ride Home
So, I went to a doctor's appt this afternoon and what with the bus schedules, the backup from the impromptu downtown closure, and stopping at Whole Foods for dinner and groceries, I wasn't headed home until 7pm ish. So the bus stop is catty-corner from Whole Foods in front of Waterloo Records. Just as I was walking up to the stop, this guy plopped himself and his backpack down all over the bench. I of course had two paper bags (one in each hand) of groceries. To be fair, I don't think he saw me as he was plopping because the very next instant as I arrived at the bench, he immediately stopped slouching and moved his backpack so I could sit down. I said "thank you" in that mousey voice I have with strangers. He was sitting next to me in the direction I had to look for the bus so I could surreptitiously notice that he had on one of those black cloth square caps with a bill that are very military looking, a silver heavy loop earring in his right ear (the ear facing me), a black leather jacket, green camy fatigue pants, and black leather trainers. [They weren't american sports shoes that I recognized, they reminded me most of heavyweight fencing shoes.] with his pale skin, clean shaved face and perfect regulation haircut, he was not only good looking but very military without being in uniform exactly.
The bus arrives and we both get on. He went to sit up in the back and I, since I hate climbing those two steps, sat in front, so I figured that was the last I'd see of him. However, at the very next stop a guy with a rolling walker got on and I had to give up my seat for him. The only other seats were up in the back so I ended up sitting slightly behind and across the aisle from camy dude. He was busy reading a book (the lights were on in the bus back there) and I got to staring at him.
I thought at first he was moving his lips as he read, but no. He was playing with his lip ring that matched his earring. As I watched him play with his lip ring, moving it in and out of his mouth, darting his tongue out to push it down farther then sucking it back in, I started to think about what it would feel like to kiss him with that lip ring. In an attempt to intentionally derail my thoughts, I found myself staring at his ear. Which only caused me to produce thoughts of putting my tongue into his earring to flick his earlobe, licking the bare space behind his ear where he had it shaved for a crisp edge to his haircut, etc. Struggling within myself to stop this train of thought, I end up back gazing at his lips, his very full pink lips, only now I'm dreaming about how they with the lip ring would feel sucking my dicklet.
Belatedly realizing what's going through my head, I drop my eyes to his hands which are in his lap holding his book. He has on a thick silver wrist chain on his right wrist, and a solid silver link watch on his left. His fingers taper nicely and his wrists show just enough hair to be interesting without being too hairy. I start to imagine being between his legs, feeling his hands in my hair, feeling the camy fabric rubbing my face as I give him a blow job.
Just about then, he suddenly puts his book away and moves to the edge of the seat as if getting ready to get off the bus. I am embarrassed to realize that I have been staring at him continuously for around 30 minutes and I've nearly missed my bus stop. I am thankful he didn't notice, but then I start wondering if he did notice and is just waiting for me to get off the bus to kick my ass. We both reach and pull the stop cord at the same time. He gets up and moves to the front of the bus before it gets to the stop. For some reason I do too even though it would be safer with the grocery bags to wait until the bus isn't moving. The bus lurches as it stops and I nearly fall into him. I automatically look down as I am propelled forward and that is when I see it. It is neatly pressed and folded, hanging out of his right back pocket far enough down that it is clearly visible even with his backpack hanging from his shoulder; it is both incongruous and completely appropriate to his outfit. It is a dark charcoal gray bandana. I never thought I would be able to tell the difference in black and dark charcoal grey, and yet upon first glance I see that this bandana is one shade lighter than black, not quite but almost black. It is not faded, it is too neatly pressed and prominant, too intentionally that color. My knees almost went out from under me. I felt like I was suddenly in one of the Military men and Discipline stories I read on the internet before bed.
Thankfully, I didn't fall into him; we both got off the bus. He headed towards Starbuck's and I didn't get my ass kicked. I also didn't feel the weight of my groceries on the walk home.
I used to be a good little Buddhist monk. I never had feelings like these. I have got to find a decent outlet for them soon before I do end up bashed.