Comments | lena_yume: You Don't Know Me. You Can't See Me. You Don't Want To Hear The Words I'm Sayin'

lena_yume

You Don't Know Me. You Can't See Me. You Don't Want To Hear The Words I'm Sayin'

May 31, 2007 03:28

The cut below is filled with me being all angsty, bitchy and blah (I apologize in advance yo). Basically you get to know me better and realize how wrong that image of me you originally had is. So if you don't want none of it and want to be blissfully oblivious, don't read it so that means all of you.

( Yes we wear our masks. We keep them quite intact. And we don't want to know what's behind those faces. We harbor and conceal... )

i need to have better posts, life, dogs, personal matters, making a fool out of myself, family, fyi, flist is love, me myself and i, lj better not eat this too, hikari, it was not the computer this time, stripped, angel, people, one of those days, angst and more angst, being comtemplative aka tl;dr

Comments 13

kikuko_kamimura May 31 2007, 10:26:02 UTC

Now, it is *checks* 4:13 in the morning, so forgive me if this gets all big and huge and uses strange words and blaaaah because just...drained.

Honestly, no matter how you feel about what you said (being guilty or feeling strange about ranting or setting down ground rules, as it were, for your interactions with people), I'm glad to hear from you again. I was starting to get worried, especially considering how it seemed that your life had been going the last time we talked to one another. I haven't been around nearly as much as I would like to be thanks to my job and whatnot lately, either, so I was hoping that I hadn't seen you lately just because I kept missing you and not because something (else) bad was going on.

Secondly, lately I've been thinking myself about how nice it would be if other people would just consider things like this automatically without anyone having to spell them out. Unfortunately, what relationships are becoming, it seems, is people trying to figure out just how much they can get away with in regards to ( ... )

lena_yume June 2 2007, 08:33:47 UTC

*laughs* You should know by know that whatever you have to say or should I say anything you have to say no matter how "blah" it is I will listen to completely and wholeheartedly. I'm just honored that you took the time to comment at such a time.

They weren't necessarily rules. More like suggestions/statements. *cough* They sounded completely like rules. I did not intended it to be that way at all. You can imagine how it came out of my mouth. I really have to stop making you worry. Apparently this is something I do very often to people XD Please don't worry about it or me. I'm not worth it at all. I understand that you are busy and everything. I hope everything is alright with you much much more Kiku ( ... )

kikuko_kamimura June 3 2007, 00:02:52 UTC

Awww. ♥♥

I've been feeling the same way, lately; I've been finding that I've been more and more aware about how the people who consider themselves close to me actually portray themselves, and with one person in particular, I'm finding that she's entirely different from who I thought she was in a very distressing way. I always like to believe in the best in people, but sometimes people themselves make that hard.

I didn't read much confrontation in your post at all, at least not directed toward those who were reading it; perhaps because you and I tend to get into somewhat of the same mental state when we're upset enough about something that we feel the need to write about it like this.

Obligatory response moment: OH MY GOD I KNOW IS YASU NOT COMPLETE AND TOTAL SEX ♥ ♥ ♥ I swear, the man is out to make sure that I never have an actual relationship ever. XDDD Sign me up for that shit, goddamnAnyway, hope to see you around AIM one of these days! Loves ( ... )

aradiantsun May 31 2007, 12:56:09 UTC

*hugs you tight*

I did read this entire post, but a lot of what I want to say is flying around in my head and I'm not sure where to start from. We've spoken about my poor relationship with my father several times before, so I don't think it's necessary to go over that once more, at least not here.

Lena-wifey, we think a like on many of those points, and maybe that's because of the way we both have deep reaching problematic relationships with our fathers. Whatever the case, I'm glad you shared this "side" of you with us, and I hope that you'll share more about yourself in time. *hugs you tight*

I'm glad the pain of your dog's passing is becoming easier. Hikari sounds like a cutey. And I hope you feel better soooooon. And as i've said before, please don't feel obligated to keep this space happy happy. Life isn't always full of happiness. I can understand your wanting it to be a "no angst zone", but if you need to angst once in a while, none of us will hold it against you.

*wrote a NaruHina one-shot last night, hahhaa. ( ... )

lena_yume June 2 2007, 08:04:42 UTC

*hugs you back*

Hahaha. I can understand. Don't worry about it. I have a gift for that I suppose. When me and my mother talk about these sorts of things she gets so confused and overwhelmed XD Yes, I remember. I think that's one of the things that 'drawed' us to each other somewhat.

I also think it's because you are a Scorpio and I have more than my fair share of Scorpio in my chart despite me being a Libra @.@ That definitely could be a reason. I also think we are similar in various other ways. As I mentioned above, at least speaking on my part, I formed a bond with you because I felt we shared similar feelings and situations that naturally had us form some sort of relationship which led to me friending and the like. Thank you Rinny-wifey. Really. It means a lot to me. ♥ *hugs tightly ( ... )

aradiantsun June 2 2007, 14:54:01 UTC

I think that as well. Whle it's not a happy thing, I'm glad it helped bring us closer together.

All the better to love each other with? XD *hugs tighter* I agree with you so very much on that. I feel so lucky to have met you because while having friends who are different from you is good, it's important to have those that can understand, that have a stronger, "innate" bond with you. You're welcome, Lena-wifey, and thank you. *chuuuuuu ( ... )

LJ, WTH, THAT WAS NOT A "TOO LONG" COMMENT. aradiantsun June 2 2007, 14:55:11 UTC

REALLY. *cuddles* I HOPE YOU ENJOY. And I've got a writing meme post here, so if you have a chance, go request somethings. *cracks up* So long as he decides to draw the sex at some point, right? And I feel so horrible, I'm torn between Sakura still heading in the right direction and her turning around and following Karin. ;_;

I figured it's easier for me to work with your schedule, is all. *hugs* *shall be on as often as she can* WIFEY, I HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO REGISTER. But that's it. So I can't just yet, and I'm still looking for a job. *will hopefully find one soon* T____T Lovey, that doesn't make you a dork at all. I'd love to wear coordinating outfits. I think it's too late to plan cosplays, but if we think about MangaNEXT and the NY Anime Festival (have you heard about this one? It's in the City th weekend of Fuji-wifey's birthday), we could definitely get some sexy cosplays together for them. *HEALS YOU* IluMOAR. ♥ ♥

(The comment has been removed)

lena_yume June 2 2007, 07:42:47 UTC

It does. You commenting is enough m'dear. ♥

Thank you. I am there for you too Mi-chan~

sahara_storm May 31 2007, 20:43:43 UTC

Oh, Lena-boo...

It's good to vent sometimes; it helps get things off your chest and it's better than keeping it inside and letting it fester. I'm glad that you made this post; it DID help me to understand and know you better. I STILL love you and respect you, and you can be sure I'm gonna take all of this to heart. :) You don't have to apologise for saying what you have to say.

*MASSIVE HUG*

lena_yume June 2 2007, 07:41:19 UTC

Gah, it's not that bad. *dies* Honest. I can be a bit dramatic sometimes. XD;

You are very right. I usually keep it inside though and let it fester to the point where I just have to let it all out and it becomes this huge big outburst thing than it originally was. I'm glad. There's still lots to learn though! *laughs* Thank you dear. I will always love and respect you. Haha. You don't have to. I have such high standards so I don't really expect anyone to follow through. As long as they are aware and try. Even that's asking for too much isn't it? ♥ ♥

*HUGEHUGOFDEATH*

fujiappletan May 31 2007, 23:10:28 UTC

Okay, I just wrote this long ass comment. And lj ate it with "the server is too busy" ...omg. >>

I'll be on AIM this weekend; however much I'd really love to go on it now and talk to you I have a chapter review and biology project to finish. ♥

And I'm just going to be myself and be lol in a darkly humoured way at all us wife-ys having father issues/problems/stress. >>

Also, no need to aplogise for writing this all out in your journal! I'm highly appreciated that you shared with us more about the feelings you were having; it's hard you want to say all these things but you feel you may not want to because it will make people change how they see you. My image of you didn't change but I do feel like I got to know you a little bit more. We're more alike and different than I thought? :3

*sends love*

lena_yume June 2 2007, 07:35:18 UTC

Love your icon by the way.

Damn, I hate it when LJ does that. I lost my post two times but thankfully LJ saved a draft otherwise I would have went on a rampage. I'm sure though it was wonderful. <3

Of course darling. I don't want to interfere in any way. I will try my best to be on tomorrow (or more like today) and if not, Sunday! Good luck on both of them~

Haha. And I expect nothing less from you. Another thing that proves we were all meant to beeee. Could it also be why we have turn to each other, you know the lovely hot world of shoujo-ai, even yuri? *is shot*

Aww. Thanks wifey. That's very true. I also I feel like I have this image to maintain so to speak and when I stray from it I get all nervous-y. Know that whatever you and Rinny do and feel I'll always feel the same about you and be there :3 Yay? XD

*takes it all in, holds it tightly to her chest and sends you TONS right back*