Long days and even longer nights...
I've gotten a lot of advice and comfort from people in two days.
From my father: "Treat this like it is final. Then after he comes back from Canada, if he decides he wants to try a relationship with you the ball will be in your court. You get to decide then if your feelings are strong enough that you can forgive him for the month of agony or you can say screw you you put me through this month of indecision. I am over you, now you deal with the heartache."
From friends: "Don't give in and call him because then nothing will have changed. Wait until he calls you"
"I don't know what advice to give you. I am in shock right now that this even happened. Last I knew he was just upset because he thought you were going to break up with him"
"I think that it is too early to give up. If you don't hear from him in two days call him and find out where you stand."
From a coworker: "I can go beat him up for you if you want. I think if we (meaning everyone in the office) gang up on him we could take him."
From my mother: "I could just call him and ask him 'what the fuck are you doing'. You love each other, what more do you need?"
Thanks everybody for the words of advice, comfort and support. Thanks for keeping me busy and making plans to keep me busy forever. I know it has only been two days but I needed it and still need it. So, keep it coming!
The hardest part is sleeping at night and waking up in the morning knowing that my dreams were just dreams and this all really happened.