What about Ren faire? It's a social scene, flirting is built in, and it's something you could look forward to!
Maybe you won't find the love of your life there, but you could be open to being happy and single and fun.
In one paragraph you talk about being disappointed guys aren't looking at you, but you mention other guys talking to you trying to get some, so clearly you're attractive!
I mean, I'm talking about a change of frame of mind. Rather than seeking, be open. Rather than pursuing, embrace life. Focus on other aspects and other wonderful things.
I will be working at Faire like usual. Yes, I can flirt with people, but honestly, being with Steve never stopped me anyway. We would both flirt with our friends, because why not? We were secure with each other that way.
It is definitely not a good place to look for love. Most people there are either after "one thing" or are terribly unreliable in general, or very far away.
The downside of online dating is weeding out the guys who are after easy sex. Somehow, many of them think that if they message a girl, they will get to put their boy parts inside girl holes without any effort really.
I am not pining away for a relationship. I am planning to enjoy single life, once some of the blues recede. I have winter depression and a lot of downer stuff going on, and it feels like a lot right now. I figure if I set up these online dating profiles then I am out there to meet people. In the past, I made some cool friends, so that is on the hope list with that aspect of my life.
I've had issues with guys moving on immediately and in most circumstances, they already had someone that they liked before we split up. Im wondering if this is the same phenomenon as people with jobs saying it's easier to get jobs than those without a job. I've been single for awhile now, haven't really hung out with that many guys and the ones I have hung out with I wasn't interested in. I feel like I should put more of an effort in if I want to find someone but I'm not sure if I do or not. Anyway emotions are weird, I feel a million things I have no rational reason to feel and trying to 'stop' feeling that way only seems to make it worse.
That sucks that you have had that happen to you. :( Being single ain't all bad.. I think lately I just have been feeling older and 35 is one of those milestones I think. I have been reading articles and whatnot about how the age desires don't match up between the genders and it gets me down.
I suppose it's appropriate for me to date a guy who is 40, but having just gotten out of a relationship with a 46 year old (granted, 12 years is a very big difference) I feel like I would like someone closer to my age, as our energy levels may be better matched.
What are your hobbies? Or potential hobbies? There are lots of "hobby groups" or social meetup sites. My therapist recommended dance lessons, hiking groups, things like that where it would be easy to meet people outside of bars and there's already some common ground to stand on.
On a separate note, some people are not great online conversationalists but might be worth meeting in person. You don't have to commit to more than a casual coffee date, and might make a new friend even if there's no spark.
I have been exploring some of those meetup type things. I am a busy person in general, and I guess one thing that is mixed good and bad is that Steve and I have so much in common that we are still at many of the same places together - karaoke, Faire, and such.
I have a hiking group I started on FB, but we haven't organized any hikes for a while. It's been hard to get people to wanna get up early enough to go before it's hot, haha
And yeah, I have been trying to be more accepting of people's possible online idiosyncrasies, but it's pretty hard to want to meet up with someone who can't even ask questions or say anything interesting about themselves. Or they just send cheesy pickup lines...
This is the first I heard about your change in status, so well-done you on managing things with poise and class! I read this update, and what I see is someone who has excellent self-knowledge dealing with some painful in an intelligent, skillful, healthy way. It's hard, but you're doing everything right - just give it time!
P.S. You totally have game, don't worry about that!
Thanks! I always appreciate hearing from you. :) I think we are mostly managing the whole change with poise and class, though I do get paranoid and sometimes it gets the better of me
( ... )
I think you will be fine, and actually ARE fine - you are processing this so well. And though it may appear Steve is getting "past it" just fine, it's just what's on the outside. Sometimes people don't show that much on the outside, but are processing a lot internally.
As for meeting people, I think keep doing what you're doing - all of it. Activities, new and old, and online - that's where I met Davy, after all.
And thank you! I always enjoy hearing from you as well. :) I definitely admire you relationship and you two are one of those couples that I see being happy together that keeps me a hopeful romantic instead of a hopeless romantic
( ... )
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Maybe you won't find the love of your life there, but you could be open to being happy and single and fun.
In one paragraph you talk about being disappointed guys aren't looking at you, but you mention other guys talking to you trying to get some, so clearly you're attractive!
I mean, I'm talking about a change of frame of mind. Rather than seeking, be open. Rather than pursuing, embrace life. Focus on other aspects and other wonderful things.
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It is definitely not a good place to look for love. Most people there are either after "one thing" or are terribly unreliable in general, or very far away.
The downside of online dating is weeding out the guys who are after easy sex. Somehow, many of them think that if they message a girl, they will get to put their boy parts inside girl holes without any effort really.
I am not pining away for a relationship. I am planning to enjoy single life, once some of the blues recede. I have winter depression and a lot of downer stuff going on, and it feels like a lot right now. I figure if I set up these online dating profiles then I am out there to meet people. In the past, I made some cool friends, so that is on the hope list with that aspect of my life.
Changes in perspective rarely happen overnight..
Reply
I've been single for awhile now, haven't really hung out with that many guys and the ones I have hung out with I wasn't interested in. I feel like I should put more of an effort in if I want to find someone but I'm not sure if I do or not.
Anyway emotions are weird, I feel a million things I have no rational reason to feel and trying to 'stop' feeling that way only seems to make it worse.
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I suppose it's appropriate for me to date a guy who is 40, but having just gotten out of a relationship with a 46 year old (granted, 12 years is a very big difference) I feel like I would like someone closer to my age, as our energy levels may be better matched.
Yes, emotions are weird and rather illogical. :/
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On a separate note, some people are not great online conversationalists but might be worth meeting in person. You don't have to commit to more than a casual coffee date, and might make a new friend even if there's no spark.
Reply
I have a hiking group I started on FB, but we haven't organized any hikes for a while. It's been hard to get people to wanna get up early enough to go before it's hot, haha
And yeah, I have been trying to be more accepting of people's possible online idiosyncrasies, but it's pretty hard to want to meet up with someone who can't even ask questions or say anything interesting about themselves. Or they just send cheesy pickup lines...
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P.S. You totally have game, don't worry about that!
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As for meeting people, I think keep doing what you're doing - all of it. Activities, new and old, and online - that's where I met Davy, after all.
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