1:30am. Just went through my journal. All of it. Interesting read. There were parts I wanted to shake my younger self and yell, "Run!! Run far away!!" or "Dad's right about this! Listen to him!". There were also parts that I just wanted to go back and live in forever, like when I went to LutherHaven or when I visited Bryan. Oddly enough, the space ( Read more... )

I write this now with a heavy heart and cold hands. Yesterday, I got to see Bryan. I'd been missing him terribly, and I randomly ran into him in a stairwell at GRCC. When I saw him, it felt like sunshine in my heart, and I thought I'd cry, I was so happy to see him. We talked for a bit, and went to sit down upstairs. He told me he'd been thinking ( Read more... )

I know it's a little early for V-day, but it looked fun.........and I was bored ( Read more... )

It's about 11pm. I should be sleeping, I know. But I just wanted to update and tell everyone that I'm ok. I think I finally found a therapist who can really be of help to me. She's my friend Laurel and her office is located in the nearest Starbuck's. I'm serious, this is twice now that she's really helped me, and I don't think she even realizes it ( Read more... )

Well, that's what we're hoping. Our basement's had a minor flooding. Water's coming in between the wall and the footing of the house in two places. It's coming in fast enough where we have to change the towels every ten to fifteen minutes. The carpet that was there we had to tear up because it was soaked through. The padding underneath the carpet ( Read more... )

Depression. I just got back from a four day vacation to Victoria, and I'm exhausted. I think that's why I'm feeling down. Not enough energy to feel happy and chipper. That and the fact that Bryan called me today and mentioned that he got to visit Ryan over the weekend. He said, "Yeah, I got to finally meet Ryan's daughter." I reply, "She's not his ( Read more... )

Ok, I just really want this holiday to be over with. It's not that I'm not excited about Christmas or anything, it's the fact that I really don't have any time to call my own for more than a few hours. I'm probably not going to see my best friends from highschool which I'm pissed about because I really miss them and feel so aweful about not having ( Read more... )

Looking back at the past couple of my LJs, I've come to realize that, maybe I should put something out that doesn't throw people into a fit of panic and sympathy. I'll still do plenty of that when I go through it, but that's what my LJ is for. The random expulsion of heavy emotions. None of it in perspective, or rational thought. Just raw, horrid ( Read more... )

I've looked on-line. I've googled, fandangoed, and Mapquested. Unless I go to Kennewick or Portland, I will have missed Mirror/Mask. This is a crushing blow for me. Some people may not find something like this to be so critical, but this is part of my life. The muppets and Henson productions have been a crucial monument in my life. Whenever I was ( Read more... )

...but silence plants the seeds of doubt. I'm not sure if Bryan really gets it that he can't leave me alone for any long period of time without speaking to me (long period being around more than three days). I understand that he's busy. I understand that his email's not working so well. I understand that his phone sucks. But there's that niggling ( Read more... )