[fic] dread pirate robbins (as you wish)
Title: Dread Pirate Robbins (As You Wish)
Rating: PG/T
Notes: I don't even know, y'all.
Summary: Calzona with a Princess Bride twist
Callie Torres wasn't sure why her captor had chosen to mask their face when the tight clothes clinging to every curve gave away that the Dread Pirate Robbins was a gloriously formed woman. Even with the mask covering the top of her face Callie could see eyes as blue as any sea she'd ever seen surveying her and her crew.
“Kill me and let my people live,” she offered as the pirate sauntered in front of her position kneeling on the deck of the marauding ship.
Robbins stopped, arms across her chest, hip cocked so her sword was hanging in clear view. “What makes you think I'm not going to kill you all anyway?” Her voice sounded amused, calm and cool. “You know who I am?” Callie nodded, her chin rising in unspoken challenge. She would not die with her head bowed. “Then you know I don't take prisoners.” Callie just squared her jaw. “You'd die for your men?”
“Any captain would.”
The pirate threw her head back in laughter, blonde curls falling from beneath the mask to touch her neck and graze her shoulders. “I've found in my experience that is rarely the case, Captain.”
“Nevertheless,” insisted Callie stubbornly. “Take my life for theirs.”
Her arms unfolded to grip her sword but Callie forced herself not to flinch, drawing in a deep breath and letting it out without fearing that it was to be her last.
“What's your name?”
“Calliope Torres, captain of the Sunrise Gazer.”
“Very nice to have met you -”
“For however brief a time as it turns out to be,” Callie interjected, under her breath but loud enough to be heard.
Her captor laughed again, smiling widely enough that dimples appeared in her cheeks. “Captain Arizona Robbins. I assure you, Calliope, it has been my pleasure.”
“Then we have a deal - my men will live?” Callie pressed, hoping she had won some good will from the pirate. “Please.”
From the shoreline they could only just see on the horizon ships were casting off, evidently alerted to what was happening in the water and setting out to help. The sound of a distant, hopeless, shot made the heads of every captured crew member turn to look but the pirates all looked to their captain.
“We've got time,” Arizona decided, not ruffled by the supposed rescue on its way. Instead, she was surveying Callie where she knelt unwillingly before her. “Everyone knows what to do. Do it.”
One group of the pirates continued loading their bounty from the Sunrise, moving more quickly, but three men stopped working to pull a few of Callie's sailors to their feet and walk them toward the side of the ship. Callie started to push herself up but Arizona stopped her movement with her sword suddenly at her throat. “Ah, I think not, Captain. I don't take prisoners, as you'll recall.” Callie glared, stubbornly moving again, and Arizona's blade slid closer to her throat. “Carry on,” she directed her men with a nod and incongruous grin.
Arizona’s sailors knew their duties, her first mate Alex Karev pushing the first of their captives over the side of the ship with a laugh. Callie thrashed forward again, the sword against her neck jerked away after just drawing blood, a single drop of red rolling down from the small cut. Arizona reacted quickly enough to restrain her though, holding tight to the ropes binding her wrists.
“You're a coward!” ground out Callie, helpless to do anything but watch as her sailors were shoved overboard one by one. Arizona didn't answer her, just tightened her grip on her bonds. After the first few she noticed something though. None of her men were being hurt or tied before being sent off the ship. Callie could hear them yelling from the water. She found blue eyes already on her when she turned her head. “What are you -?”
“I do not take prisoners, Captain,” Arizona reminded her patiently. “But I've never had a valet before. And you did offer your life, as you'll recall.”
Arizona's crew was finishing with loading their plunder and their leader whistled sharply. They jumped to their next tasks, readying their ship to flee the scene. Once everyone was bustling around them Callie expected she'd be able to get lost in the shuffle but Arizona only crouched in front of her, reaching out to turn her head with a light touch. “What - are you serious?” Callie asked in disbelief, twitching away from the contact.
The pirate grinned, reaching back for the ties on her mask. It was tucked under her sword belt while she shook slightly sweaty curls out of her face. “We can try the valet thing tonight. I'll most likely kill you in the morning,” she said lightly, nearly teasing her. “Now, can I look at your neck or not?”
Arizona Robbins had no reason at all to be wearing a mask. It was a stupid thing to think, but it was all Callie could muster, her mouth dropping open. She couldn't help herself. Dreaded as she may be, Arizona Robbins was also stunningly beautiful. Her legend hadn't done her justice, on any count.
Her captor took her silence as an invitation, pushing her head to the side and leaning in to inspect the cut on her neck. “It's not bad. The bleeding has already slowed down.”
Callie laughed in spite of herself. “So I'm not going to bleed to death.”
“Not today,” Arizona confirmed with a smirk. She stood up slowly, considering her captive again. Callie's head fell back defiantly, her throat bare and vulnerable to any move she might want to make. Callie didn't jump when she pulled a dagger, she was watching for it. Stepping over her new valet's legs, Arizona cut the ropes binding her hands. “Here.” She offered her hands to help her up. “It's not comfortable kneeling like that,” she said almost knowingly as she steadied Callie on her feet.
Callie pushed past her to get to the side of the boat, squinting through the sunlight to count heads in the water. Every member of her crew was there and she breathed deep, relieved. “What's your goal, here?” she asked without looking at her when Arizona sidled up beside her at the rail. “You didn't kill my men.”
“I've killed many other men,” Arizona said noncommittally, her shoulders rising and falling in a nonchalant shrug.
“You didn't kill me,” noted Callie, glancing sideways before returning her gaze to the water.
“You're not a man.” The sleeve of Arizona's black shirt brushed her back as she passed behind her. “Dinner is at sundown. Everyone who eats on my ship works on my ship.” Her voice rose to be audible across the deck. “Alex, if you'd be so kind as to find some duties for my new valet,” she directed.
That's how it went for weeks, new tasks to be done, new skills to learn. She knew how to sail, of course, had been around her father's merchant ships since she was old enough to walk, knew knots and rigging and lines, but the way Arizona and her crew ran their ship, she'd never been around anything like it. The way they lived, roaming without a goal and taking what they wanted, it was surprisingly intoxicating. She'd never had such freedom in her life, for all that she was technically a prisoner.
Arizona still ended every night with a “Good night, Calliope. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning” but the statement was practically a joke now, said with a wink over the card table before the pirate retreated to her cabin for the night.
Months passed in the same way, the ship prospering and Callie settling nicely into her new life. She had no desire to leave the ship, the friends she'd made on the crew. She couldn't say she didn't miss being captain of her own ship on her nights to clean the head, however. Particularly when there was a party going on to celebrate their latest successful heist on the other end of the boat.
Stumbling steps approached the rail where Callie was wringing out a filthy rag, trying her best not to breathe through her nose. “Hey, I just finished scrubbing in there, so at least try and aim!” she called without looking to see which of her crew mates was coming.
“As you wish.” The words were hazy but not slurred, Arizona's steps unsteady. Callie could only cock a brow and laugh as the captain made it to her destination.
It became something Arizona said to her more often as months passed - when she asked for the salt at dinner, when she passed the whetstone while they sharpened their swords, passing a bottle around with the crew while everyone took turns singing at night.
“He's not bad, you know,” Callie noted of Alex's song, lounging against the railing and offering the bottle to Arizona beside her.
“If you say so,” murmured Arizona, looking skeptical herself.
“He's better than most of these guys,” Callie insisted. Arizona took a short sip off the bottle. “We could do worse.”
“We could do much better too,” she countered. “You're amazing, Calliope.” She was the only one who called her that, even after nearly a year on the ship. The others had been threatened with violence if they used her full name but she liked the sound of it from Arizona's mouth.
Callie laughed, head falling back to survey the spread of stars overhead. She loved when they were in the open ocean, away from any other light but the moon. “You want me to sing?” She reached for the bottle. “How much of that have you had?” Arizona didn't answer, caught up in tracing the line of Callie's neck with her eyes. “Arizona?”
“As you wish.” It was a whisper and Callie leaned forward, Hunt's guitar covering the sound of their voices.
“What does that mean? When you say 'as you wish?'”
Blue eyes blinked, stormy in the darkness. “You know what it means.”
Callie leaned in closer, tongue peeking out to wet her lips. She had her suspicions what the pirate captain meant when she said those words, just needed confirmation. “I'm going to kiss you,” she whispered, her breath against Arizona's face.
“As you wish,” came the answer.
Arizona tasted like the rum they'd been drinking, hands finding a grip in Callie's hair and the open collar of her shirt to pull her closer. “Arizona -” They were in the open, not directly in the middle of the crew, but exposed to any wandering eyes. “Should we -?”
Arizona was already guiding them up without relinquishing her grip on Callie's shirt. They were kissing again before the door to Arizona's cramped cabin was kicked closed. Turning them, she pushed Callie backward onto her bunk. “I'll most likely kill you in the morning,” she reminded her with a grin as she climbed onto the woman in her bed.
Rating: PG/T
Notes: I don't even know, y'all.
Summary: Calzona with a Princess Bride twist
Callie Torres wasn't sure why her captor had chosen to mask their face when the tight clothes clinging to every curve gave away that the Dread Pirate Robbins was a gloriously formed woman. Even with the mask covering the top of her face Callie could see eyes as blue as any sea she'd ever seen surveying her and her crew.
“Kill me and let my people live,” she offered as the pirate sauntered in front of her position kneeling on the deck of the marauding ship.
Robbins stopped, arms across her chest, hip cocked so her sword was hanging in clear view. “What makes you think I'm not going to kill you all anyway?” Her voice sounded amused, calm and cool. “You know who I am?” Callie nodded, her chin rising in unspoken challenge. She would not die with her head bowed. “Then you know I don't take prisoners.” Callie just squared her jaw. “You'd die for your men?”
“Any captain would.”
The pirate threw her head back in laughter, blonde curls falling from beneath the mask to touch her neck and graze her shoulders. “I've found in my experience that is rarely the case, Captain.”
“Nevertheless,” insisted Callie stubbornly. “Take my life for theirs.”
Her arms unfolded to grip her sword but Callie forced herself not to flinch, drawing in a deep breath and letting it out without fearing that it was to be her last.
“What's your name?”
“Calliope Torres, captain of the Sunrise Gazer.”
“Very nice to have met you -”
“For however brief a time as it turns out to be,” Callie interjected, under her breath but loud enough to be heard.
Her captor laughed again, smiling widely enough that dimples appeared in her cheeks. “Captain Arizona Robbins. I assure you, Calliope, it has been my pleasure.”
“Then we have a deal - my men will live?” Callie pressed, hoping she had won some good will from the pirate. “Please.”
From the shoreline they could only just see on the horizon ships were casting off, evidently alerted to what was happening in the water and setting out to help. The sound of a distant, hopeless, shot made the heads of every captured crew member turn to look but the pirates all looked to their captain.
“We've got time,” Arizona decided, not ruffled by the supposed rescue on its way. Instead, she was surveying Callie where she knelt unwillingly before her. “Everyone knows what to do. Do it.”
One group of the pirates continued loading their bounty from the Sunrise, moving more quickly, but three men stopped working to pull a few of Callie's sailors to their feet and walk them toward the side of the ship. Callie started to push herself up but Arizona stopped her movement with her sword suddenly at her throat. “Ah, I think not, Captain. I don't take prisoners, as you'll recall.” Callie glared, stubbornly moving again, and Arizona's blade slid closer to her throat. “Carry on,” she directed her men with a nod and incongruous grin.
Arizona’s sailors knew their duties, her first mate Alex Karev pushing the first of their captives over the side of the ship with a laugh. Callie thrashed forward again, the sword against her neck jerked away after just drawing blood, a single drop of red rolling down from the small cut. Arizona reacted quickly enough to restrain her though, holding tight to the ropes binding her wrists.
“You're a coward!” ground out Callie, helpless to do anything but watch as her sailors were shoved overboard one by one. Arizona didn't answer her, just tightened her grip on her bonds. After the first few she noticed something though. None of her men were being hurt or tied before being sent off the ship. Callie could hear them yelling from the water. She found blue eyes already on her when she turned her head. “What are you -?”
“I do not take prisoners, Captain,” Arizona reminded her patiently. “But I've never had a valet before. And you did offer your life, as you'll recall.”
Arizona's crew was finishing with loading their plunder and their leader whistled sharply. They jumped to their next tasks, readying their ship to flee the scene. Once everyone was bustling around them Callie expected she'd be able to get lost in the shuffle but Arizona only crouched in front of her, reaching out to turn her head with a light touch. “What - are you serious?” Callie asked in disbelief, twitching away from the contact.
The pirate grinned, reaching back for the ties on her mask. It was tucked under her sword belt while she shook slightly sweaty curls out of her face. “We can try the valet thing tonight. I'll most likely kill you in the morning,” she said lightly, nearly teasing her. “Now, can I look at your neck or not?”
Arizona Robbins had no reason at all to be wearing a mask. It was a stupid thing to think, but it was all Callie could muster, her mouth dropping open. She couldn't help herself. Dreaded as she may be, Arizona Robbins was also stunningly beautiful. Her legend hadn't done her justice, on any count.
Her captor took her silence as an invitation, pushing her head to the side and leaning in to inspect the cut on her neck. “It's not bad. The bleeding has already slowed down.”
Callie laughed in spite of herself. “So I'm not going to bleed to death.”
“Not today,” Arizona confirmed with a smirk. She stood up slowly, considering her captive again. Callie's head fell back defiantly, her throat bare and vulnerable to any move she might want to make. Callie didn't jump when she pulled a dagger, she was watching for it. Stepping over her new valet's legs, Arizona cut the ropes binding her hands. “Here.” She offered her hands to help her up. “It's not comfortable kneeling like that,” she said almost knowingly as she steadied Callie on her feet.
Callie pushed past her to get to the side of the boat, squinting through the sunlight to count heads in the water. Every member of her crew was there and she breathed deep, relieved. “What's your goal, here?” she asked without looking at her when Arizona sidled up beside her at the rail. “You didn't kill my men.”
“I've killed many other men,” Arizona said noncommittally, her shoulders rising and falling in a nonchalant shrug.
“You didn't kill me,” noted Callie, glancing sideways before returning her gaze to the water.
“You're not a man.” The sleeve of Arizona's black shirt brushed her back as she passed behind her. “Dinner is at sundown. Everyone who eats on my ship works on my ship.” Her voice rose to be audible across the deck. “Alex, if you'd be so kind as to find some duties for my new valet,” she directed.
That's how it went for weeks, new tasks to be done, new skills to learn. She knew how to sail, of course, had been around her father's merchant ships since she was old enough to walk, knew knots and rigging and lines, but the way Arizona and her crew ran their ship, she'd never been around anything like it. The way they lived, roaming without a goal and taking what they wanted, it was surprisingly intoxicating. She'd never had such freedom in her life, for all that she was technically a prisoner.
Arizona still ended every night with a “Good night, Calliope. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning” but the statement was practically a joke now, said with a wink over the card table before the pirate retreated to her cabin for the night.
Months passed in the same way, the ship prospering and Callie settling nicely into her new life. She had no desire to leave the ship, the friends she'd made on the crew. She couldn't say she didn't miss being captain of her own ship on her nights to clean the head, however. Particularly when there was a party going on to celebrate their latest successful heist on the other end of the boat.
Stumbling steps approached the rail where Callie was wringing out a filthy rag, trying her best not to breathe through her nose. “Hey, I just finished scrubbing in there, so at least try and aim!” she called without looking to see which of her crew mates was coming.
“As you wish.” The words were hazy but not slurred, Arizona's steps unsteady. Callie could only cock a brow and laugh as the captain made it to her destination.
It became something Arizona said to her more often as months passed - when she asked for the salt at dinner, when she passed the whetstone while they sharpened their swords, passing a bottle around with the crew while everyone took turns singing at night.
“He's not bad, you know,” Callie noted of Alex's song, lounging against the railing and offering the bottle to Arizona beside her.
“If you say so,” murmured Arizona, looking skeptical herself.
“He's better than most of these guys,” Callie insisted. Arizona took a short sip off the bottle. “We could do worse.”
“We could do much better too,” she countered. “You're amazing, Calliope.” She was the only one who called her that, even after nearly a year on the ship. The others had been threatened with violence if they used her full name but she liked the sound of it from Arizona's mouth.
Callie laughed, head falling back to survey the spread of stars overhead. She loved when they were in the open ocean, away from any other light but the moon. “You want me to sing?” She reached for the bottle. “How much of that have you had?” Arizona didn't answer, caught up in tracing the line of Callie's neck with her eyes. “Arizona?”
“As you wish.” It was a whisper and Callie leaned forward, Hunt's guitar covering the sound of their voices.
“What does that mean? When you say 'as you wish?'”
Blue eyes blinked, stormy in the darkness. “You know what it means.”
Callie leaned in closer, tongue peeking out to wet her lips. She had her suspicions what the pirate captain meant when she said those words, just needed confirmation. “I'm going to kiss you,” she whispered, her breath against Arizona's face.
“As you wish,” came the answer.
Arizona tasted like the rum they'd been drinking, hands finding a grip in Callie's hair and the open collar of her shirt to pull her closer. “Arizona -” They were in the open, not directly in the middle of the crew, but exposed to any wandering eyes. “Should we -?”
Arizona was already guiding them up without relinquishing her grip on Callie's shirt. They were kissing again before the door to Arizona's cramped cabin was kicked closed. Turning them, she pushed Callie backward onto her bunk. “I'll most likely kill you in the morning,” she reminded her with a grin as she climbed onto the woman in her bed.