Coming Out / finding a label

[leora]

I found a label that seems to fit me a whole lot better than the previous ones I have had. I don't think my gender is female. I think agender fits much, much better. I just didn't realize it was an option. I've never liked being identified as female... actually, female is okay, but I really dislike being identified as a girl, lady, woman, gal,

Comments

[shesfearless]

I can relate. I don't mind being physically female, although occasionally I do but that's because of society's bullshit. However, I always feel really awkward when associated with the female gender. I just don't fit into it 99.9% of the time. I feel alienated by products that are supposed to be for women because of the way they feminize them. I struggle to find clothes I feel okay wearing and then I feel embarrassed because I'm not fitting into society's norm of looks for women. I'm just grateful that Evan has always loved me for who I am and really doesn't care what gender I present myself as.

< / rant > :P

[finding_helena]

This sounds about right for you, based on other stuff you have said in the past. I'm glad you've found a label that you feel fits decently--playing the ill-fitting label game sucks.

The other one I've heard is "genderfree", which has a slightly different connotation, I think, but covers the same general sorts of things.

[leora]

Yeah, I also saw genderless floating around. I think genderless is a better fit. Genderfree brings up the connotation of it being somehow a choice or superior for me. It really wasn't a choice. It isn't even a matter of not fitting the gender roles, like it was for many people above. I actually wasn't fully convinced that I was female for over ten years of my life. I'd heard of things like babies born male and raised female or born looking female, but who turned male, or born with both sex organs, and I knew that when those things happened the parents and doctors never told the child about it because they thought doing so was harmful (no longer always true, but it was fairly true of my generation). I was not convinced that I wasn't in one of those situations until I started menstruating, which I thought was pretty conclusive proof of having a female body. This is part of why my really late menstruation was annoying for me. However, I did think about it, and decided that of my options, I did have a slight preference for being female,

[chaos_by_design]

I was taught that females were strange, other creatures that males (real people) couldn't understand or obtain. At least, it sort of feels that way. So, obviously, I can't be one of those, since I have direct access to my own brain.

This is pretty similar to how I feel, which is why my best definition of "what does being a woman mean to me" is "having a female gender identity." Mainly I don't feel like a male because I don't identify with a lot of stuff that goes into the stereotypical male box either. But I get the "default human" thing very well.