Let Me Imagine Better Worlds
For my birthday, I have written a Supernatural fic.
Title: Let Me Imagine Better Worlds
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairings: Lisa/Dean, implied Sam/Dean
Rating: PG
Summary: Lisa knew the moment she saw Sam.
Notes: Title comes from Jack Veasey's poem "Altar Devotion"
Word Count: 276
Lisa knew. She knew the moment she saw Sam that she’d lost Dean. The bitch of it is she can’t even be angry about it. He tries so hard to be the man and father they need. She aches sometimes for how hard he tries. But the truth is always there for Lisa to hear.
Dean whispers Sam’s name in the darkness of their bed. In the light, Dean won’t even say the word “brother”, but after he’s been compromised by sleep “Sam” and “Sammy” are the words that fall from his lips. She can hear all Dean’s secrets in the way he forms his brother’s name. Each whisper against the velvet blackness reminds her that she and Ben are simply placeholders. They are ill fitting pieces pushed into the broken and jagged places of Dean’s heart labeled “family”.
She’s tempted to make Dean stay. With Ben as leverage, she knows she could. A twist of the words “father” and “responsibility” and she could pin Dean to her bed, to the walls of her home. But she loves him. She loves the reckless boy he was and the broken man he’s become.
Maybe it’s just that she’s too old to lie to herself. Months ago, shaking on her doorstep he confessed that when he imagined himself happy, he saw himself with her and Ben. In a different world, a world without monsters, maybe that’s true. But this world is full of monsters. And in this world, Dean needs Sam.
Though she hates herself for thinking it, the monsters devoured Sam once before. And in a world without Sam, Lisa is willing to be Dean’s home.