Crush sceneries...need advice

[goldnlocket]

I met a really hot chic at the gay club. At first, I came to her because my friend was busy chatting with someone. I think I acted very polite with her, I bought her a drink, I asked her if she was ok throughout the night, I persuaded her to stay longer since she traveled so far. And i said she was beautiful. However, she didn't dance sexy with me

Comments

[iatrogenicmyth]

Did you two exchange phone numbers?

Personally, I'd be put off if someone said they wanted to grind with me "to make their former crush jealous." I'd question whether all of the flirting and complimenting were designed solely for that purpose and lose interest (if there was any interest to begin with).

As far as the bartender, have you ever mentioned your feelings to her? Bartenders, I've found, can really only be "read" when they're not bartending. Especially if they think you have a crush on them. Better feelings = better tips.

All just my own opinion/experience, of course. Others may differ in their interpretations.

[goldnlocket]

The bartender has a gf and I realize her flirtatious behavior is to win over clients and get more tips. So I tend to ignore her when she stares at me. I think she doesn't like when I give her the cold shoulder but I don't care b.c I'm not a regular.

And I genuinely like the hot girl but there's a personality clash b/w her and I. She's too mature while i'm the goofy type. I did get the hot girl's number but only as my friend.

[secret_gyoza]

I would be extremely put off by anyone asking me to grind and especially so if they told me it was to make someone jealous.

[caddishness]

Did you specifically say you wanted to make your former crush jealous? I'm not into grinding at all so if someone asked I'd just assume we didn't have much in common. If they said they wanted to do it to make someone jealous, I might join in if it seemed like funny light-hearted thing and not a creepy obsessive thing. Either way I would assume you weren't over your former crush and therefore emotionally unavailable. I'd have interpreted your flirting as an attempt to make your crush jealous, rebounding or a simple meaningless bar flirting. You got her number so if you're interested you can hang out outside of a bar setting and see how it goes

[goldnlocket]

Yes, I told her that I wanted to make my former crush jealous.

[coanteen]

Yeah, I'd pretty much put that making-crush-jealous move in the pile of "the ex drama isn't worth it with that one". If that's what I'm getting on the first-impression front, I'm not interested in more.