Comments | less_for_you: FIC for pettydreams "Why Summer Orchids Wither"

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FIC for pettydreams "Why Summer Orchids Wither"

Jun 11, 2008 14:20

Title: Why Summer Orchids Wither
Author: xnymphadorax
Recipient: pettydreams
Rating: PG
Words: ~9,600
Warnings: None
Summary: When Lily finds herself unable to remember the last two years of her life, she turns to Severus for guidance. What she discovers could mean unlocking a future that once passed her by.
Author's Notes: For pettydreams who wanted pre-Hogwarts and/or post- ( Read more... )

fic, round_2008

Comments 24

shyfoxling June 11 2008, 21:29:26 UTC

This is an utterly heartbreaking wonder of a fic. It's built up so wonderfully, all the beautiful healing and tenderness between Lily and Sev, and then at the end you dash it all to pieces and I just want to cry my eyes out for Severus, and for Lily too in a way.

Those are the desperate, scared thoughts of a 16-year-old girl. Now, knowing everything, I thank God that you hit me with that spell. Without it, I never would have known that I was losing my soul mate.
[...]
“Always and only you,” he whispered into her hair. Lily felt the touch of a wand to her temple before she heard Severus clearly say, “Obliviate.”

I mean, just... *bawl*

xnymphadorax June 26 2008, 02:37:06 UTC

You used the word, "healing" in your review and I could have jumped out of my chair with excitement because that is really what I was going for. I've never been among the camp that thinks Severus just used a bad word and Lily overreacted. There was no fouler word he could have uttered and I can't even begin to imagine the pain it must have caused Lily. Because Lily was removed from it, i.e. she couldn't actually remember it, she was able to see how he made such a grievous error and allow herself to see how genuinely sorry he was. Severus too needed to heal, needed to see that he deserved her love.

It really is a sad tale for both of them but mostly for Severus, I think. It's true that Lily will never remember what she lost, but poor Severus
must carry the burden of knowing that it really was wonderful just for a little while. Poor kids...

Thanks for the review!

spikesminx June 11 2008, 22:37:05 UTC

This was very well written. I love how realistic and honest Lily's feelings were. I especially loved the part where you explained her feelings towards the two men, many fics make James out to be evil or just underdeveloped, I don't buy that.

The relationship between Severus and Lily was beautiful. Severus definitely was her first choice, though I wouldn't say it was the best choice, but oh well, I ship L/J too.

On the whole, this was pretty good. You had me by the first line. My heart broke for Lily and Severus and James ♥

Deleted and posted again because of stupid typos >_>

xnymphadorax June 26 2008, 02:53:18 UTC

Thank you for the kind words! Especially your comments about Lily's emotions. I was constantly worried that she was too whiny, but I think the best of us would be if confronted with such a situation at 16 ( ... )

♥ wigglynoodle June 12 2008, 04:45:11 UTC

I really enjoyed this, mystery author. Severus' Obliviate broke my heart, but I doubt it compares to the way it broke his - his second chance came too late, and Lily will die never knowing what happened between them.

...allowing herself to imagine another lifetime where she might have had the chance to love Severus Snape. ♥ This is exactly the type of emotion I'd hoped the prompts would inspire, thank you so much for writing it!

I have to add that I especially liked Lily's mother talking about the MRI and contacting a doctor. It was very Muggle of her. :)

Re: ♥ xnymphadorax June 26 2008, 02:58:08 UTC

Yay, you liked it! I tried so hard to make it fluffy, but it fought me all the way and I finally conceded to the angst. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

Lily's mom was fun to write. I had no idea what type of woman she would be until I started writing. She had me searching the internet for British hospitals near Manchester! But it was easy enough to grasp her emotions. If I had a daughter unconscious in a strange hospital for a week, I'd be fussy too!

torino10154 June 12 2008, 12:21:25 UTC

What a roller coaster-sad, then happy, false but also true-so many emotions for Lily to sort through. And poor Severus-I can't decide if it's worse to know she could have loved him or not. Well done.

xnymphadorax June 26 2008, 03:01:59 UTC

A roller coaster is definitely a good analogy for poor Lily's emotions. As if being a teenager isn't difficult enough...

bemoan1000 June 13 2008, 15:01:51 UTC

This is my favorite kind of Lily and Severus story, a story that goes with the canon time line and where both of them care for each other. Wish there were more of these stories.

Lily saw a flash of black slip through the doors and her heart I like how you leave it open for the reader to interpret this. I believe it is Snape and he is off to take the dark mark.

When he Obliviate’s her reminds me of an episode of Angel where only Angel carries the memories, so Buffy doesn’t have to deal with the pain of the memories That’s what I think Severus did for Lily. He didn’t want her to suffer the memories.

I think you did a great job on this love triangle. You made all three characters human. I could see her loving both men, and I can see why she would choose James over Snape at this time in her life.

but quickly surmised that a breeze from the open window must have knocked it down

And I just like this line. It made me laugh.

Thanks again for this great story.

xnymphadorax June 26 2008, 03:20:03 UTC

That episode of Angel is heartbreaking. That's exactly the same type of sacrifice, only poor Buffy knew it was coming. I never realized how much Severus and Angel have in common but now that you mention it, the two of them would make great friends!

That line about the photo makes me laugh too. Imagine how many little things we assume that might really mean something else...