My plans are proceeding apace according to the standards of "the real world," although I find them unconscionably slow. This project has been going forward for months and it still isn't finalised, and I'm beginning to wonder if all of it is worth the trouble.

Life's little ironies never cease to amaze me. When Rupert left me all those years ago, I promised myself the one thing I would never do is use my magic to get him back -- or, even, back into my bed, and yet, it was only breaking that promise to myself that's given me another chance to make things right again between us ( Read more... )

Now, haven't I been saying ALL of this for years and being called mad for it?

"Our lives are already in chaos - not just occasionally, but all of the time... [H]umans tend to abhor chaos and avoid it whenever possible, nature uses chaos in remarkable ways to create new entities, shape events, and hold the Universe together ( Read more... )

I keep asking myself what I'm doing here, and I can't ever give myself a reasonable answer, or even an unreasonable one. And now, it seems I've been abandoned by the only people who ever bothered to show me the slightest bit of attention in this bloody town. Fickle, deceitful bitches -- rather like Life, or Nature ( Read more... )

If I could stop myself from feeling, don't you think I would have, long ago? Years? Decades ago. I would have stopped the day you left without so much as saying goodbye. No note, no explanation... nothing ( Read more... )

Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by... not a bloody thing ( Read more... )

The other day, I tried calling a few people I haven't heard from in a while to pass the time. Wish I had not done. More of them have pushed off, and I don't mean 'changed addresses.' They're dead, pushing up daisies in a box, dust in the wind, &c ( Read more... )

'Destiny' is a rather grand word for 'forgotten, underpaid functionary of an unimaginative system,' isn't it? Would you have been so willing to surrender to it if you knew this was what they would do to you, where they would send you?

(Of course you would. If someone asked me that question - in a slightly different context - my answer would be the ( Read more... )

Finally found the place to catch up on local gossip. It's called Willy's. I overlooked it during my initial forays due to its incredible tackiness. With all the dif. demon species who patronise the place, contemplating the origin of rather sticky floor best avoided. Nice place for a quiet drink in spite of the decor (and floor), however ( Read more... )

Tried to get mind off immediate problems by reading, but I was v. disappointed in book I picked up at occult store. Anyone who still thinks you can do Chaos magic within a quantum mechanical paradigm is living in the dark ages.

I'm just glad I didn't waste any money on it.