Rant Series : I
Guiiisssseeee! Heeeeellllllpppp! What do I do?!
Ok let me tell you the story.
I have a very....interesting history with guys. I've been in a couple serious relationships. I was almost married at one point in my life. So when I fall for someone, I fall crazy hard ok? And it always starts the same. I notice someone and I get infatuated. I become putty. And if I don't know you...then I find myself figuring out your habits before even getting your name. Idk I'm just observant enough to figure people out the more I pay attention to them.
I promised myself I would be good ok? I promised myself that after my ex I would stay clear of love. That I would focus on me until I move to Korea. I havent wanted to be with anyone since him. And I've been good thus far. Until this guy. HOW DARE YOU BREAK MY RESOLVE?!! I feel like I'm back in middle school. This sucks how much I'm into someone I do not know. This guy...he sits infront of me in history class. He is always late ok? And somehow there is always a seat miraculously available infront of me for him to grab. Fifth day of class, that seat just so happened to be right next to me. That's when I noticed him. He sat down and his scent hit me. It was clean. It was amazing. I still didnt look up. No I didn't look at his face. That is until he handed me the sign in sheet. Those eyes....omg they are so big and beautiful. So I melted. I decided that he was adorable. But I wasn't crushing yet.....then he decides next class to come in late again...and I heard him speak when the teacher addressed him mid lecture. His voice....i didn't pay attention the rest of class. I only texted my girls for a distraction while I nearly stared at the back of his head.
Needless to say he has a pattern of being late 2 of 3 classes a week. Guys. He. Is. Gorgeous. Like I mentioned before his eyes are beautiful. His smile is like....it's like hot chocolate after spending the entire day in the snow. His skin is the color of cinnamon. (And in case you are wondering what race he is, he looks to be Arabic). Idk how I got to this point. I feel like the biggest idiot ever for crushing on him this hard when I don't know him and he doesn't know I exist. I'm just another face in class. Maybe I'll work up the nerve to talk to him one day? Maybe. Maybe I will get over him? Maybe. But knowing me I won't. Knowing me he will just be that nameless body of perfection with the dreamy eyes and gorgeous smile that has stolen my heart that I will never get to speak too because I am so damn special in the head to form a good enough sentence. How hard is it to say hi? I argue with myself every class now to just say hi. I'm dumb. Ugh! Help. Someone talk sense into me?? Please?? I don't wanna crush on him. It's only going to get worse from here. I know it will.
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