Bad decision, question mark... ?
I'm in a good mood this morning. And I'm always a little surprised with myself when I say that.
It's just so out of the ordinary, and I like it. I must remember to be in good moods more often.
Last Friday, I found myself at the DRC again. And it was odd. I had been avoiding going for sometime, but there was still a lovely little rush of familiarity. It was a little frightening to interact with people in all the old same ways. But then it was comfortable too. The entire afternoon felt very much to be an out of body experience.
There are just too many memories there. Bad and good. I go in and I think of all the free food, the shows, the silly conversations. I think of the plastic hugs from the hollow people. There were the self-destrcutive anxiety attacks and the gigglefests. It was like a dense emotional home for me.
I made someone run away, too. Apparently, anyway. My presence alone can force someone to jump into a golf cart and drive away. Before, I would have been upset. But on Friday, it was genuinely funny. I can't be responsible for the socially inept, but I do want to make things less awkward.
Bad decision?
And then there were the Emmys. I wasn't nearly as excited this year as I had been at the last few award shows. Something about taking bitchy Desperate Housewives to the bathroom didn't appeal to me. WHat's the point if I can't even get into a conversation with them? The only real saving grace of the evening was Tina Fey. I have decided that one day I will have her babies. And they will be so awkward. But very smart and friendly. Even her publicist was nice. But those are the New Yorkers for you, yes?
Finally, I wandered into Commons on Monday. And to my shock, I saw someone else from the past. A saw someone extremely upsetting from Sophomore year who I had to report against. I had seen him around last fall, too. Before, I felt nervous, scared, upset. Before, I had felt as if all I wanted to do was run away. But, in very empowering way, I did not feel victimized at all. I saw that harassing asshole and all I wanted to do was punch him in the face.
I didn't punch him in the face. There were too many people around. But it was very thrilling to know that I could have if I wanted to. And he won't ever need to bother me again. Violence DOES solve everything!
And now I'm back at my crappy computer job. And I'm in a good mood. Finally.
-me
It's just so out of the ordinary, and I like it. I must remember to be in good moods more often.
Last Friday, I found myself at the DRC again. And it was odd. I had been avoiding going for sometime, but there was still a lovely little rush of familiarity. It was a little frightening to interact with people in all the old same ways. But then it was comfortable too. The entire afternoon felt very much to be an out of body experience.
There are just too many memories there. Bad and good. I go in and I think of all the free food, the shows, the silly conversations. I think of the plastic hugs from the hollow people. There were the self-destrcutive anxiety attacks and the gigglefests. It was like a dense emotional home for me.
I made someone run away, too. Apparently, anyway. My presence alone can force someone to jump into a golf cart and drive away. Before, I would have been upset. But on Friday, it was genuinely funny. I can't be responsible for the socially inept, but I do want to make things less awkward.
Bad decision?
And then there were the Emmys. I wasn't nearly as excited this year as I had been at the last few award shows. Something about taking bitchy Desperate Housewives to the bathroom didn't appeal to me. WHat's the point if I can't even get into a conversation with them? The only real saving grace of the evening was Tina Fey. I have decided that one day I will have her babies. And they will be so awkward. But very smart and friendly. Even her publicist was nice. But those are the New Yorkers for you, yes?
Finally, I wandered into Commons on Monday. And to my shock, I saw someone else from the past. A saw someone extremely upsetting from Sophomore year who I had to report against. I had seen him around last fall, too. Before, I felt nervous, scared, upset. Before, I had felt as if all I wanted to do was run away. But, in very empowering way, I did not feel victimized at all. I saw that harassing asshole and all I wanted to do was punch him in the face.
I didn't punch him in the face. There were too many people around. But it was very thrilling to know that I could have if I wanted to. And he won't ever need to bother me again. Violence DOES solve everything!
And now I'm back at my crappy computer job. And I'm in a good mood. Finally.
-me