And Away We Go....Bar Mitzvah PowerPoint Wars Have Begun

[lethrdadchicago]

 For those of you drawn to this post by the mere absurdity of the title of this post, versus my excellent, loyal and supportive pals who know about my son's pending bar mitzvah and his mother's self-centeredness, I will recap the events of the past couple of weeks

Comments

[randomcub]

I'm glad you and the therapist can work together on this. Your wife is being completely unreasonable, if you ask me.

[lethrdadchicago]

Thanks, bud. The three of them met together on Monday. At one point, the therapist suggested that maybe it made sense, since my son was not doing well at all, that maybe the bar mitzvah should be cancelled. I wish that I would have been a fly on the wall in the office when that was suggested. My ex- is saying that the therapist and I are overstating our case, and yet my son is perfectly OK with putting it on a table. We shall see.

[c_lovell]

Like I said before. I agree with you that it should all be about YOUR SON - not the ex. It's his special day - not hers. Is the therapist willing to mediate and explain the rationale to her? It sounded like a great plan. best of luck!

[lethrdadchicago]

As always, Chris, I greatly appreciate your support as one writer to another. I am about to give the therapist a call as she is off for the rest of the week and I want to give her a "heads up" in case she has not checked her e-mail lately. The bottom line is that my ex- is in charge of the festivities and she can make it or break it. I can only place pressure on her, i.e. by not finishing the presentation by downloading the music, etc. She might have to hire someone to do it, but that also might bum my son out and that could work against my goal of keeping pressure off of him...very sticky indeed

[geometrician]

I can say with total confidence that your ex-wife is a real bitch.

Tell her she made you gay.

Being gay is, of course, a gift from G-d, but she doesn't see it that way, and probably asks herself if it is something she did. Support her in that.

There is a rabbi and a cantor involved, no? Maybe you and the therapist could involve them in an ex-wife sit down intervention for the good of your son.

Becoming bar mitzvah is about man things, after all.

[lethrdadchicago]

My friend: nah. My ex-wife knew that I had been raped by two guys when we got married, it was not until we had been married for seven years that I had several years of therapy and realized that the rape had caused me to bury my gay nature. She knows that as well, and that as soon as I figured things out, I told her. The reason that we don't get along is because she's a loony bitch. I get along great with the rabbi, who also knows she is a loony bitch. If I have to bring him in, it will be a last resort...the proverbial big gun. Thanks much, pal.

[geometrician]

You are a wise father. In the future your son will remember most that his father loved him without emotional expectations.

But keep us up to date!

[lethrdadchicago]

I just put my son down to sleep. My daughter and I still cuddle and talk each night, but now that he's almost 13, I usually sit next to his bed and hold his hand. Tonight, he asked me to crawl in bed. He is so nervous about the upcoming event, we just chatted for a half hour or so and laughed. Sure, he needed to get to sleep, but more than anything else he needed to relax. He is such a special, wonderful kid, as is his sister. I am very blessed.

[inbhirnis]

Stand your ground - best of luck. The number one issue is to reduce pressure on your son. If she wants to a presentation about how wonderful is, she can have her own party for that. May not be so well-attended, though....

[lethrdadchicago]

I know you will this hard to believe, but the woman has no friends. I came across an article about "Energy Vampires" last year and this light bulb went off in my head! It would be funny if it weren't for my kids, you know? My 11yo daughter is learning to be manipulative, and to fake injuries to get attention. I stay home to try to undo the damage. Very sad.

[xephyr_42]

Wow. I would have thought that if his therapist made the suggestion, she would have concidered it.

As a mother, it baffles me how she would want to make such a milestone for her child about her. I'm sure that during her Bat Mitzvah (I'm assuming she did have one) no one was there to take the spotlight away.

I'm in your corner on this. She's being ridiculously unreasonable.

[lethrdadchicago]

Well, kiddo, you'd have to know her...her name is Mimi (get it, Me-Me?) She's in her mid-40's and when you've spent your whole life making it all about yourself, old habits die hard. I'm going to try to make it happen the right way any time I can. Right now I'm supposed to download the music SHE chose to pair up with the pictures SHE picked out and captioned in Powerpoint (Gloria Gaynor "I Will Survive" with the cancer pix, "We Are Family" with the family pix, you get the general idea, not music my son knows.) Can I give you her phone #, girl?

[xephyr_42]

Let's just hope that I do not meet MeMe ever. Maybe if you get the Rabbi involved, she'll see the point.