[tiv] Beverly Donofrio quote
[Set in Broken Promise Land. silvr_moonbeams isn’t used with permission so much as assumption, while sitherequietly is mine to use and abuse as I choose. Set way way way in the future.]
“One day can make your life; one day can ruin your life. All life is is four or five big days that change everything.”
She wasn’t supposed to come back from that last vision.
She felt it the minute it started. She was surprised her head didn’t explode from the pressure. What it did do is knock her out, for how long she wasn’t sure. She was pretty sure she wasn’t supposed to wake up, either. There was finality to this vision, something telling her that her work was done, and she could rest now. Finally. Finished with champions and Apocalypses. These were all battles that were larger than her and she was tired of being so involved in them. She felt terrible for leaving Dean behind, but as far as she was concerned, she was overdue. It was time for her to go and move on to the next stage of her existence, and as far as she was concerned, it was over.
And then she woke up.
She didn’t have visions anymore. Her body was too broken for that. She knew that when Castiel had tried to heal her, he had good intentions, but he should have realized that the Powers didn’t want her to come back. She still hurt and she hadn’t left the small apartment that she and Dean had managed to obtain for themselves in years. She just stayed inside, shutting herself away from the rest of the world, and even putting some distance between her and Dean. She didn’t want anyone close to her. She didn’t want to be here, and she couldn’t help the thought that it was his fault, because Dean didn’t want to be alone.
She didn’t want to blame him. She knew that he was just trying to help her. Instead he had just robbed her of her time, again, just so that he wouldn’t be alone, and she couldn’t help but resent that. She wanted to be able to move on from it, but every time she moved, it was just another reminder of what had been taken from her. There were consequences for fighting fate and she felt it every day. Sam and Paige got married, had a baby, things that she used to look forward to, and now she just waited for fate to catch up with her. It wasn’t as though she had anything to aspire for-she just wasn’t capable anymore.
It had been years since she had seen Castiel, but she’d recognize his dry, gravely tone anywhere. Dean had dragged him into the kitchen, out of earshot of the bedroom, but Cordelia caught on that something was up before she even stepped out the door. Castiel didn’t show up for no reason at all, and she had a feeling it was probably something she wasn’t going to like. But she kept her mouth shut, and instead just made her way out of the bedroom and into the living room-far enough that she wouldn’t be seen, but close enough that she could still hear what was going on.
“We can’t, Cas. I know how it sounds, but-we can’t take him. I can’t ask her to do that.”
She would have been confused, if she hadn’t seen the baby that was sitting on the couch on his back, waving his arms and legs in the air and babbling to get someone’s attention. For a brief moment, she flashed back to when Conner was a baby. She remembered the way he fit in her arms, the way he seemed to bring a smile to everyone’s faces just by being there. She missed that feeling. She moved closer, sitting down on the edge of the couch next to him. “Hey, little guy,” she whispered softly, lifting him up into her arms. “Where’d you come from?”
He giggled, still squirming in her arms, but not enough to force himself out of her arms. She smiled, and it felt a little weird after not having done it in so long. She moved forward, letting his little fingers wrap around her larger one as she held him close.
“You’re a cutie, aren’t you? I bet your Uncle Cas wants me and Dean to babysit for a little while.” Her hand moved up, brushing against his cheek gently. “Might not be too bad-having someone else around. Give Dean something else to take care of.” So he wouldn’t worry so much about her. Or be tethered so much to her. If Dean had another focus, then maybe he would be able to let her go. Or maybe she would be able to let go. She wasn’t sure which.
At some point, Dean and Castiel had abandoned whatever they were talking about in the kitchen and appeared in the doorway of the living room. She didn’t look up, eyes still on the baby as he gummed her finger, but the question is definitely to the taller two. “Who is he?”
“His name is Owen Gray. His parents were murdered by demons earlier this evening.”
“So why the big whoop-dee-do? Parents are killed by demons all the time.”
“Cas thinks he might be a future prophet,” Dean replied quickly. “Can’t exactly hand him off to any set of foster parents.”
“Okay,” she nodded, before finally looking up at him. He could see the conflict on his face-probably why he didn’t want her to know Castiel was here in the first place. He didn’t want her to want something she wouldn’t be able to keep. Though, at the moment, she didn’t see why she couldn’t. “So what’s the problem?”
He took a breath and looked at her pleadingly. “Cor, I know-”
“This isn’t about what I can or can’t do, Dean,” she said evenly. “This is about the right thing to do.” Her eyes fell back to Owen again, and she gave him a bright smile. “He stays.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I’m sure.” Her tone softened a bit, something a bit more maternal. “He stays.”
There was a long silence, before Dean responded. “Yeah, okay. He stays.”
She was pretty sure that there were some details that were discussed, but she really wasn’t paying all that close attention. For the first time in a long time, she had something to look forward to when she woke up in the morning.
She had forgotten how nice a feeling that was.
1045 words
“One day can make your life; one day can ruin your life. All life is is four or five big days that change everything.”
She wasn’t supposed to come back from that last vision.
She felt it the minute it started. She was surprised her head didn’t explode from the pressure. What it did do is knock her out, for how long she wasn’t sure. She was pretty sure she wasn’t supposed to wake up, either. There was finality to this vision, something telling her that her work was done, and she could rest now. Finally. Finished with champions and Apocalypses. These were all battles that were larger than her and she was tired of being so involved in them. She felt terrible for leaving Dean behind, but as far as she was concerned, she was overdue. It was time for her to go and move on to the next stage of her existence, and as far as she was concerned, it was over.
And then she woke up.
She didn’t have visions anymore. Her body was too broken for that. She knew that when Castiel had tried to heal her, he had good intentions, but he should have realized that the Powers didn’t want her to come back. She still hurt and she hadn’t left the small apartment that she and Dean had managed to obtain for themselves in years. She just stayed inside, shutting herself away from the rest of the world, and even putting some distance between her and Dean. She didn’t want anyone close to her. She didn’t want to be here, and she couldn’t help the thought that it was his fault, because Dean didn’t want to be alone.
She didn’t want to blame him. She knew that he was just trying to help her. Instead he had just robbed her of her time, again, just so that he wouldn’t be alone, and she couldn’t help but resent that. She wanted to be able to move on from it, but every time she moved, it was just another reminder of what had been taken from her. There were consequences for fighting fate and she felt it every day. Sam and Paige got married, had a baby, things that she used to look forward to, and now she just waited for fate to catch up with her. It wasn’t as though she had anything to aspire for-she just wasn’t capable anymore.
It had been years since she had seen Castiel, but she’d recognize his dry, gravely tone anywhere. Dean had dragged him into the kitchen, out of earshot of the bedroom, but Cordelia caught on that something was up before she even stepped out the door. Castiel didn’t show up for no reason at all, and she had a feeling it was probably something she wasn’t going to like. But she kept her mouth shut, and instead just made her way out of the bedroom and into the living room-far enough that she wouldn’t be seen, but close enough that she could still hear what was going on.
“We can’t, Cas. I know how it sounds, but-we can’t take him. I can’t ask her to do that.”
She would have been confused, if she hadn’t seen the baby that was sitting on the couch on his back, waving his arms and legs in the air and babbling to get someone’s attention. For a brief moment, she flashed back to when Conner was a baby. She remembered the way he fit in her arms, the way he seemed to bring a smile to everyone’s faces just by being there. She missed that feeling. She moved closer, sitting down on the edge of the couch next to him. “Hey, little guy,” she whispered softly, lifting him up into her arms. “Where’d you come from?”
He giggled, still squirming in her arms, but not enough to force himself out of her arms. She smiled, and it felt a little weird after not having done it in so long. She moved forward, letting his little fingers wrap around her larger one as she held him close.
“You’re a cutie, aren’t you? I bet your Uncle Cas wants me and Dean to babysit for a little while.” Her hand moved up, brushing against his cheek gently. “Might not be too bad-having someone else around. Give Dean something else to take care of.” So he wouldn’t worry so much about her. Or be tethered so much to her. If Dean had another focus, then maybe he would be able to let her go. Or maybe she would be able to let go. She wasn’t sure which.
At some point, Dean and Castiel had abandoned whatever they were talking about in the kitchen and appeared in the doorway of the living room. She didn’t look up, eyes still on the baby as he gummed her finger, but the question is definitely to the taller two. “Who is he?”
“His name is Owen Gray. His parents were murdered by demons earlier this evening.”
“So why the big whoop-dee-do? Parents are killed by demons all the time.”
“Cas thinks he might be a future prophet,” Dean replied quickly. “Can’t exactly hand him off to any set of foster parents.”
“Okay,” she nodded, before finally looking up at him. He could see the conflict on his face-probably why he didn’t want her to know Castiel was here in the first place. He didn’t want her to want something she wouldn’t be able to keep. Though, at the moment, she didn’t see why she couldn’t. “So what’s the problem?”
He took a breath and looked at her pleadingly. “Cor, I know-”
“This isn’t about what I can or can’t do, Dean,” she said evenly. “This is about the right thing to do.” Her eyes fell back to Owen again, and she gave him a bright smile. “He stays.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I’m sure.” Her tone softened a bit, something a bit more maternal. “He stays.”
There was a long silence, before Dean responded. “Yeah, okay. He stays.”
She was pretty sure that there were some details that were discussed, but she really wasn’t paying all that close attention. For the first time in a long time, she had something to look forward to when she woke up in the morning.
She had forgotten how nice a feeling that was.
1045 words