"Ranting from a Hormonal Teenager....Great way to Start"
So hmm this is my first journal entry, after being on this website for like 5 months. Truth be told I still don’t really know how to use it.
(For instance, I’m totally not understanding how to make my profile different)But that’s beside the point. I have decided to upload crap in my journal. My Gawd shock! Well once I get the pictures and stuff . I’m mainly doing this because at this moment in my life I feel I’m kind of in a lull. Nothing really exciting is going on for me. Yeah, I have school, and I got into some colleges but I feel like I’m slowly becoming into a boring person. I feel like everyday this is my schedule:
1. Wake-up
2. Check e-mail
3. Eat breakfast
4. Go to school
5. Do tech stuff for my school until 6:00 or 8:00
6. Go Home
7. Check my internet
8. Go on random Wikipedia searches and research stuff nobody gives a damn about
9. Homework
10. Bed
I’m afraid I have nothing interesting to offer to conversation except a random fact about a country I’ve never been to but have a weird obsession over. (Yes, I’m mentioning you Iceland)
I understand I’m spitting out random teen angst stuff. Yes, teens are angsty little creatures. I blame to rush of hormones that are going through your brain screaming, “MY GAWD! GO HAVE SEX NOW BEFORE YOU DIE!!!”
Believe or not hormones, I’m not going to die if I don’t have sex. (Actually recent studies show the later in life you get pregnant the longer you live. Something about after you give birth you have no point to the human race genetically anymore. I disagree I’m not important part, but I get to live longer).
It doesn’t help that everyone around me is hooking up. It’s sad when your IDENTICAL TWIN sister has had 4 boyfriends (I’m totally not mentioning the hook up with that Lithuanian dude) and you have the total score of zip. This fact I’m both proud about and pissed about. Proud because I don’t need any willy nilly man in my life and I’m a strong women who can do what she wants. Yes, I will I can choose what man I want and I can choose if I’m ready to be your girl or not, wait, I’m not any one’s girl, bitch, I will choose who I want a meaningful and equal relationship with!!! (Is anyone sensing the reason why I don’t have a boyfriend yet??) But that fact still remains I have raging hormones screaming in me, “GET A DAMN MAN…pussy!!!” Yes, I’m a pussy, hormones, I admit that. I haven’t even skipped school once,( Okay once but it was for 15 minutes for a food run and I was hungry, and then I was caught…I had to throw away the food I got too…) See I used to have this horrible habit of having a crush on a man and then spending the whole year contemplating weather to ask him out or not, but of course I would idealize thus leading to eventual fall out with the so called, “crush.” I realize this is probably mentally unhealthy. Well, either way I’m at a point where I don’t have a man to idealize. (It doesn’t help that my school for every 1 man there are 6 women, and you have to take out 50% to 20% of those men because they are homosexual. Trust me I’m not making these statistics up) Plus even though my city is big it’s more like 4 cities combined and everyone has a stereotype. (Thanks D.A for labeling me as the weird arts kid). Plus I’m a very weird girl. For goodness sake I’m reading the bloody Kalevala, which is the Finnish epic that should be translated to “Väinämöinen’s Epic Journey to find a wife and get laid, with his Biffles”. (It’s REALLY GOOD though I suggest you read it. It informs you so much about a culture) This doesn’t mean I don’t have a social life. I have good friends who we go out on Saturday nights and have a blast, but I’m starting to get this feeling I’m repeating everything I know just to seem smart. My friends understand me and my Gay friend once said, “ Gurl, you need to get laid.” Thanks for helping buddy. I haven’t even been KISSED yet! How do you think I’m going to pick out a random guy to have sexual intercourse with?
I mean my gradual increasing apathy isn’t just due to my lackluster romantic life. I feel though I’m not being noticed in my school’s department. I’m in technical theater and my forte’ is costume design/construction of mainly time period plays. I’m to go to girl if you want research. I really am addicted to research, but any who I was chosen as head for the one act plays for costumes but not the Main Stage show… I know you’re like, “You should be happy for what you got.” Let me tell you the play I designed for headed: A play set in the 50/60/70’s… Not that I’m complaining but I had a 1968 to be exact but my teacher wouldn’t even let me propose my ideas. It was a fun show and I actually was the only technician mentioned in a review by the most important critic in the city. (Happiest day in my life) But that being said it wasn’t my forte’ the 20th century. Everyone knows if you do Flippin’ Civil War reenactments you’re going to be better at the bloody 19th century. Now our Main stage show was, “A Little Night Music” guess what? This play takes place in 19th century SWEDEN!!! Now, I admit, I’m not a Swedish descent, but I’m REALLY fascinated in the Swedish culture especially in the 19th century because of the Scandinavinist movement. Plus the whole Norwegian-Sweden union thing is really fascinating (even though it wasn’t really a union). Now the girl who got head, she’s ironically really good at 1960’s fashion but she got a bad case of senioritus and was gone during rehearsals, plus the costumes were so not time period. She had to ask me some basic things. (Poor thing didn’t know that Norway was part of Sweden at the moment the play was set.) Now there’s a back story I’m not telling because it’s just drama, but it’s the reason why I didn’t get head. ( Let’s just say there’s a huge amount of favorites at my school and I ticked off one of the favorites). I cried how not historical accurate it was. Now I kind of feel I’m being put on the backburner and nobody will let me show my talents. This may be due because of I haven’t made a dress in a while and I think I‘m starting crave sewing. (I’m either going to do a 1940’s dress to go with this adorable vintage hat I have from that time period, a Civil War ball gown, or my prom dress. You can tell me which one you would like to see be made.)
So that’s my rant. Long rant is long. I guess you caught me in one of those moods where I’m pissed at the world. Don’t worry I’m just ranting to get it out because I can
. I’ll see this in three months and probably laugh. That’s just who I am. Yeah I have some stuff to put up but I need to figure out how to put it on my computer. I’ll though might just ask my friend in photography to help me take pictures…:3
Sincerely sorry for Ranting,
~~~~Let Them Have Pie