so i'm obviously not a very private person.....

[letwordscolide]

Ok i need a general consensus about my relationship.

Background: my boyfriend Ryan had gone out with this girl for over a year, the only real girl he's ever loved/lived with/was going to marry. SHE broke up with HIM about 4 months ago, because he kissed another girl (which might constitute as cheating to some of you, it does to me) only for him to

Comments

[satanicskyys]

once a cheater...not necessarily always a cheater. But for the talking to the ex thing and her wanting to come over and hang out...thats an iffy. I would definitely be sketchy of that. I'd be keeping an eye out cause no one ever really wants to hang out with thier ex unless they want more than to be just friends. It's different if you HAVE to see the person due to like mutual friends, but purposely seeking them out is a little odd. I think shes jealous of YOU, and she should be ;)

[letwordscolide]

aw thanks Andrea :)

[never_insincere]

Hey girl, here's what I think:

It is a possibility to be just friends with something platonic-ally, regardless of a history. This girl may have a special place in his heart, which is cool, but he needs to know you come first in this triangle. People can change. He may not always be a cheater. But...he may not want to change. There's a huge line between the two.

Keep focused on God, and things will fall into place. I think you're a wonderful girl, Andrea, and I think you deserve great things.

[letwordscolide]

i agree with you meghan, however.....she has messed with his emotions UNRELENTLESSLY, and he got bitter and swore her off. Yet, now that things (emtions/drama..etc.) have blown over, he can let her back into his heart, without any of the other feelings to go along with it?? I am just very skeptical of that, although, maybe it could and has happened.

thanks for your encouragement though sweetie, i really apprieciate it.

[itsaidarrgh]

having been a cheater once myself, i can say "once a cheater, not always a cheater" however, there are simple clues that will tell you whether or not he's a cheater...and if he's still clinging to his ex like that, it's a pretty good clue that he is indeed a shady character who shouldn't be trusted.

since she dumped him, that makes it pretty easy for him to still have feelings for her. it's a little too risky, back out now.

[letwordscolide]

it's very risky...and probably stupid on my end to keep going with it, but at least i now have a heads up.

[freshnewday]

Do you honestly need to think about it?

[letwordscolide]

yeah, i'm not going to throw things away unless i'm sure.

[prefectsarah]

About the cheating thing... I believe that people cheat because they're unhappy. There's something about the relationship they're in that isn't fulfilling them. When we find someone (or 'the one'..whatever) that "makes you whole" so-to-speak, people don't go looking for fulfillment in other places. So, I don't belive in the "once a cheater, always a cheater" rule. Also, I'm a huge believer that people can change, and that they can. But, we can't really like a belief like that hinder our sight from the truth. We can't be niave.

I guess what I just wrote doesn't really apply to guys who aren't ready for a serious relationship or settling down. If he's immature like that (and I don't mean that in a bad way) then there's a chance he might mess around behind your back because he isn't that concerned about keeping a long relationship.

Ok, wow... I wrote more than I thought. :) haha... guess I got a little carried away. Anyway... :)

[letwordscolide]

thanks Sarah :) I wanna come to Midland and chill with you sometime....it'd be cool if i could get Curt and Andrew to come with me too. It'll be a reunion :)