Difference

[lexilolober]

I've written so many things about her, for her, even a video. I think the point I was trying to make in all of it was the impact she has made in my life. The difference she has made in my life. I believe I first met her in math class my freshman year her in college. I don't remember excatly when I first met her. I just remember for some reason taking a liking to her. Always nice, friendly, and sweet. I wanted to get to know her, I wanted to be friends, but we were never much more than aquantiances and talked in our classes a bit, during our freshman and sophmore years. Then I found out she was joining the Praxis program as I was and arranged for her to give me ride to and from our class which were off-campus. That was what started us to become better friends. I managed to see her even before the next year, junior year, even started, after my roomate lost her keys at the mall and I called her to as her to take me to my dorm to get my roomates extra car keys. She started driving me to class and we got to know eachother. A few weeks into the year we met up to " hang out". Really we met to study, but studying did nit happen! We ended up being so distracted taking pictures on my computer's camera. She posted one of the two of us captioning it both as " She. Is. Wonderful" and "Shes been so kind to me" which just made me smile, i don't know what exactly i had done at that time that was kind to her, but those captions just surprised me, and they were so sweet =) After that we started hnaging out more and i found out that she had a live journal and I had one, so I added her and looked at some of her old posts for the heck of it and found that she had written this about me "She's been a great friend, I am so very glad that I have taken the time to REALLY get to know her. Thank you for being there<3333" I can't tell you how much that made me smile, to just feel appreciated like that =) I knew that she was going to a bible study and had a church she went to in Flag and that it was a big part of her life. I had for a long time been wanting to go to church, but it wasn't really a part of my family and I had no one to go to about it, and I was being to feel an increasing need for it in my life. So I went to Claire. She listened to every single one of my fears, questions and everything I had to say, just listened and never pushed me, and offered if I would ever like to go to her church with her. I went and have never stopped going with her, without her I would never have been able to do it. She's listened to me cry and sob and I have listened to her just the same. We've had our little disagreements, but they are always fixed like that. She has helped me to come out of my shell, to not fear what others around me think. If I can't be myself around a person, then they are not worth it and I need to be comfortable with myself first. Before her, I've never hadanybody threaten to kick ass for me! haha She listened and was there for me when I had a meltdown over the a-holes in my hs and that not one person would stick up for me and tell the teacher whp had done that awful thing to me. She told me that she would have stuck up for me and that it made her angry that no one had. I can't describe the emotion as anything other than vehement when she told me to stop kicking myself over losing Lauren as a friend because of telling the wrong person, because I was trying to save her life and if she couldn't see that,, thatn she was not worth it, or worth my pain. Because of my past I developed a big fear of losing my friends, of not having their trust, and of not making friends. Because of her, I've been able to slowly lose that and learn how to change that, it is still there, and I still jump into my insecurities, but SHE'S STILL ALWAYS THERE~ She's given me what a lot of people in my life haven't, acceptance, security, and a real, true friend. She has truely made a difference. I hate seeing her go through what she is right now, but I can say that I am so proud of her for how she is dealing with it right now. I don't even have to tell her, that if she ever needs me, I am there in a second. This all is why the ending of college makes me so sad, she is one person I don't want to lose in my life, be separated by distance, and forget. I would mis her so, so much....I know we all have our own lives and we all have to go our own ways and grow up. But I do hope after college, even if there is a distance, we can stay close. But even if we do get separated, she is one person I will never ever forget. We have too many stories, too many good memories.. =)
"I will be an open door that you can count on
Anywhere you are, anywhere you've been
I will be an honest heart you can depend on
I will be a faithful friend"
Faithful Friend - Steven Curtis Chapman