Smallville Big Bang Entry - Boundaries of Life and Death (Part 2 of 2)
Title: Boundaries of Life and Death
Author: Lexophilia
Artist: Fruitbat00
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: R
Word Count: 10K for entire story
Genre/Warnings: m/m, hurt/comfort, drama, angst, profanity, AU, domestic violence, mpreg, chronic illness, minor character death
Summary: The day his father told him he was going to be sent to live in Smallville, Lex suffered a pain deep in his stomach that had nothing to do with his Crohn's. After the events of the meteor shower, he swore to himself that he'd never return to that place. It's funny how something bad can turn into something amazing. Lex never expected to find someone like Clark. Clark never knew he could give himself wholly to someone until he got to know the unusual man he'd risked his life to save. But will anger, illness, death, and a very unexpected surprise keep them from having the happiness they both so desperately crave? This is a very different retelling of their story.
Author's Notes: Much thanks and love to fruitbat00 for kicking my ass and keeping my head in the game. Without your support, this story wouldn't have been completed.
Back to Part 1: http://lexophilia.livejournal.com/45149.html
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The next few weeks are nothing short of amazing. Work is going well. Lex and Clark have been getting to know each other even more, and if possible, the sex between them is getting better and better. They'd realized the morning after their first time together that they hadn't used a condom, and they'd made sure to use one ever since. Lionel hadn't called to check up on him or interfere in his life in a while, and things seemed to be going great.
Great, that is, until he starts to get sick.
At first he figured it was just his body reacting to the fact that he was working too hard and not really taking care of his nutritional needs as he should have been. He'd noticed that his clothes were fitting a little more loosely than they usually did, but his weight going down a little and then coming back up again was nothing new to him. It didn't feel like he was having a flare up, but he still didn't feel quite right. So when the feeling of nausea didn't go away after a while and he started experiencing severe stomach pains, he knew that he couldn't put off going to a doctor. Clark had noticed him holding his stomach and wincing the other night, and he'd promised the other man that if he wasn't better by the morning, he'd go see someone.
Lex knew that if he had an obstruction or one of the other hundred things that could go wrong with his body taking place, it would not bode well for him if he continued to ignore it. It never did. He'd more than learned from his past mistakes in underestimating the potentially serious complications that came along with having Crohn's.
Dr. Morris seemed like a competent man. Clark had referred him to his office saying that he'd been the Kent's family doctor for as long as he could remember. Dr. Morris had also worked with a lot of the changed children, and he'd been trained in caring for what was sometimes considered their 'specific and special needs.' Those words had initially made him not want to go to the man, but Clark promised him that the man had never made him feel like a freak just because he was different.
Lex was reasonably nervous as he sat on the doctor's table waiting for the man to return. He'd been sparred the embarrassment of having to dress in one of those flimsy little gowns, but he still felt overly exposed sitting there in a t-shirt and boxers. The man had taken some blood and urine samples and he'd sent them to the attached lab to have them analyzed. Lex had told the physician about his Crohns, and the doctor had felt and palpitated his abdomen to the point where he felt that he was going to be sick. The doctor had hummed and hmm'd to himself, but he hadn't said whether or not he'd felt anything out of place during his examination.
It didn't take long for the doctor to return, and there was no way that he could have ever been prepared for the news Dr. Morris gave him.
“How is that even possible?” Lex said as a wave of dizziness washed over him. There was no way that he could be pregnant. No way.
“Well,” the doctor said as he sat in the chair across from his young patient and looked with kindness at the obviously shocked young man seated before him. “You have been having unprotected sex, haven't you?
All Lex could do was nod.
“And you were in Smallville at the time of the meteor shower from what you have told me.”
Lex nods again as he feels what he has always know to be true and real, at least about his own body, starting to slip away from him.
“Son, did you not know that 25% of the tested changed male children are able to conceive?” the man asked as he realizes that, no, the poor young man didn't.
“No. No, sir.” Lex says as he feels himself beginning to sway. He feels himself starting to fall over and possibly off of the table when his shoulders are grasped by strong hands.
“Maybe you should lay down,” Dr. Morris says as he helps Lex do just that. “Is there someone that I can call for you? I can clearly see that this is a shock for you, and even if you do lay down for a bit, I don't feel comfortable letting you drive on your own like this.
Lex gives the man a number from memory and tells him to ask for 'Clark.' The doctor looks at him strangely for a beat before he pulls his personal cell from his pocket and calls the number.
“I figured maybe you didn't want the secretaries up front involved in your personal affairs,” the doctor says as he waits for Clark to answer.
As Lex listens to the man talk to Clark, he knows that he made the right decision listening to his friend and coming to see Dr. Morris. If this had happened and he'd been in Metropolis, everyone would know just how much of a freak the Luthor heir was in no time flat.
The conversation between Clark and the doctor had been brief with the only thing being said was that Lex had had an appointment, that he was okay, but he needed someone to drive him home.
“I have a feeling, young man, that Clark will be here any minute. I can have someone come in to help you get dressed, or you can wait for your friend to get here. I just can't let you do it on your own now. I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself inadvertently.” The doctor said as he moved over to a drawer and started pulling out some pamphlets.
“I'm going to give you a week's supply of sample prenatal vitamins. These shouldn't interact negatively with your Crohns medications, but if they do, then we can switch them for something else.
Lex sat straight up forgetting about how bad he was feeling as he heard the doctor mention his illness.
“Can I even carry a child with this - with this condition I have?” Lex asked with an audible tremble in his voice as he came to the conclusion that his body wouldn't even be able to carry his and Clark's child.
“Please lay back down, Mr. Luthor. Of course you can carry successfully with Crohns. I would have said something if you couldn't.” Dr. Morris says as he helps the other man to once again lay back.
Just as he's putting the pamphlets and the medication into a bag, the doctor hears a tap on the door and isn't surprised to see Clark Kent on the other side of it.
“Doctor,” Clark says as he slips into the door door and closes it behind him.
“It's good to see you, young man,” Dr. Morris says as he pats the young man he's seen grow up over the years on the back.
“Hey, Lex. How are you?” Clark says as he looks down into Lex's face.
“I'm - I'm - I don't even -,” Lex struggles to get out as he fights to find the right words.
“Doctor, is he okay?” Clark asks as he turns worried eyes onto the man quietly watching them.
“He'll be fine. I have some things for him in the bag on the counter, and he needs to be back to see me in the next couple of days. Just call, and I'll fit you in,” Dr. Morris says as he leaves the two men alone to talk.
Lex thinks he knows how he's going to break the news of his pregnancy to Clark until the other man opens his mouth to speak and he finds himself at a complete loss for words.
“I've never run so fast in my life,” Clark says as he pulls the doctor's chair from the corner and sits on it so that he can look Lex directly in the eyes. He places his hands on either side of Lex's face and gently kisses him, once on the forehead, an then on his nose, before ever so lightly pressing his lips against his mouth. When Clark pulls back, Lex can see the tears that are threatening to fall from Clark's eyes, and in that moment he prays to a god that he rarely believes in that everything will be okay.
“We haven't know each other for that long,” Clark says as twin tears finally fall, “but I know what I feel for you. Lex, I'm falling for you. I'm falling in love with you. And when the doctor called me from his private cell to come and get you, I knew that something was wrong. Please tell me, baby. Please tell me that you're going to be okay.” Clark says as he stands and wraps his arms around his friend, his partner, his lover.
“I - I love you, too, I think,” Lex says as he gives the other man a watery smile. “I'm going to be okay, it's just a bit of a shock.” Lex says as he sits up and is thankful that the dizzy spell has finally passed.
“Why are you here then? Is it something with your stomach? I know that you said it had been bothering you,” Clark says as he moves over to the bag on the counter and pulls one of the pamphlets from the inside to look at it.
“Clark, wait! I wanted to tell you,” Lex says as he moves off of the bed to remove the offending paper from Clark's hands even though is knows it's already too late by the slightly dazed look in Clark's beautiful green eyes.
“What? How? Really?!” Clark says as he drops everything in his hands on the floor and wraps his arms around the other man, hugging him so closely that he can feel Lex's heart hammering against his chest.
“I'm pregnant,” Lex whispers into Clark's ear as he allows himself to sink into the warmth of the man whose literally holding him an inch or two off the ground.
So much is going though Lex's mind that he's barely able to keep up with all of it. He's still in a bit of shock, there's no doubt about that, but he's also happier than he can ever remember being. He already knows that he will love this child, their child, unconditionally, and that he would never in a million years be the cold, heartless type of father that Lionel is.
He's never felt more like an alien in his own body that he does right now, but he knows as long as Clark is willing to stick by him and help him, that everything will work out in the end. He realizes that he's probably being overly sentimental, but he guesses it's okay for this one time.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lex's old friend anger comes to visit him not even a full week later. For some reason, his father needs him to come to Metropolis for a week to assist him with some apparently urgent business matters. Clark tells him that he shouldn't go, that he's not well enough, and he comes frighteningly close to telling Clark to mind his own business before he realizes that Clark is only concerned for his health and that of their baby.
So Lex ends up going to Metropolis for a week. And just like he imagined, most of the time is spent arguing with his father. The finally fight about the car Lex totaled and about how much damage Lex had done to his precious collectables and antiques the day he'd bashed everything he could in his father's home. They fight about how Lex could be doing better with the Smallville plant, and that only ends up throwing fuel on the fire of his anger because he knows he's been working himself to the bone and that he's already increased production, without hiring any additional staff, by 20%. They end up fighting about a lot of things that week, and when Lex looks back on it he can't help but feel regret even though he knows most of the bitterness in his relationship with his father had been Lionel's fault.
Lex feels regret, guilt, and most of all an unexplainable, profound loss at the end of that week because it's the last times that he sees his father alive. The last words between him and his father hold no type of familial love, and that lack of a connection, even with Lionel, leaves him reeling.
The day Lex is scheduled to return to Smallville, he and his dad get into a major argument. Unbeknownst to Lex, Lionel had been having pains in his arm and neck all day but had been ignoring it thinking that it was nothing most than a little muscle strain that he'd be able to alleviate with some ibuprofen once he got home.
Lionel never made it home.
As he and his son are crossing the street to head back up to his apartment, Lionel grabs his chest before hitting the ground like a puppet whose strings have been cut. Lionel seems to die almost instantly, and Lex finds himself holding his dead father in his arms.
Three days later, he finds himself standing watching his father being lowered into the ground as he hears people around him whispering about the mysterious, yet attractive young man holding his hand. Lex doesn't care. All he can think about is how much he already misses the bastard. He knows that Lionel had loved him, even if it was in a sick and controlling way. And he knows that he'd loved his father in return, even if it was desperation and a need to feel as if he belonged somewhere in this cruel world driving that love. But what's really killing him and eating away at his insides is the fact that he'll never get the chance to tell his father that he'd been able to find happiness without him. He has Clark now and they are having a baby together.
He would have liked for Lionel to have known that.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Clark and his family serve as a stronghold for Lex as he deals with the loss of his father. The small, tight-knit family is both saddened and disturbed by the fact that there is no one calling to check up on Lex other than attorneys who've been pushing him to settle his father's estate. For some reason that's beyond Clark and his parents, Lex attempts to go to work the day after his father's funeral, and it doesn't go well for anyone involved. If Lex had been willing to admit it to himself, he'd been having a difficult time with his Crohn's even before he found out that he was pregnant, and the death of his father had put so much additional stress on his already weakened system that he's now no longer feeling like anything resembling healthy.
Dr. Morris had cautioned him a week before that there was a possibility that his pregnancy could terminate on his own after Clark had called concerned because Lex had somehow dropped more weight in the week or two since he'd last been seen. Lex hadn't handle that bit of news well, though he did his best not to show his fear to Clark.
So yes, maybe returning to work in Smallville the day after his father's funeral was one of his not so bright ideas. He was feeling horrible, but he felt he was doing a pretty good job at hiding it from his observant boyfriend and his family.
However, he knew he'd made a really bad choice to go back so soon when he got into a major argument with an employee over something that should have been handled in a much more professional and dignified manner.
Lex is walking through the plant, taking a moment out the morning to make sure that his employees are on task and working hard to keep their current level of production up, when he overhears a conversation that a small group of his male workers are having.
“Did you hear about our queer little boss? His father just died and the little bastard is already back at work trying to make a dollar. Oh yeah, and you know what everyone is saying about him. That something's going on between him and that weird changed kid that lives out on that big-assed farm. And from what I hear, our faggot boss has been in and out of the doctor's office, too. Something just ain't right, boys. We don't need anymore weirdness going on here in Smallville. We already have enough of that with all of those teenaged freaks that the government allowed to live.” The man, Smith Lex remembers, says as the other men in the circle either laugh or nod in agreement.
Before the man even has a chance to open his mouth to spit out more hateful venom, Lex makes his presence know and, yes, he's a little bit thrilled by the fact that being caught in the act now has these men quaking in their boots. That is, all of the men except for Smith seemed shocked.
Lex's friend anger overcomes him in the next few moments as he begins to viciously berate Smith in front of the small group. Lex is pretty sure that he uses every swear word in his vocabulary as he gives the man a piece of his mind.
“You're fired. Get the hell out of my factory, you ungrateful piece of shit. And the rest of you better get back to work immediately or your asses will be out of here as well.” Lex says turning his back on the stunned group as he heads to his office to grab his keys to get the hell out of there. Anger is coursing through his veins, and his fingers are itching to break something, namely Smith's face.
When Lex arrives home, all he wants to do is be left alone for a while so that he can try to get a handle on his temper, when the first thing that he sees is Clark waiting for him in his office.
The look on Clark's face as Lex storms into his office is so sincere and concerned, that it only succeeds in making his already bubbling rage burn hotter.
“Clark, why the hell are you here?” Lex asks as he slams his briefcase down on the desk before moving to stand directly in front of the last person he should be taking his frustrations out on.
“I'm just here to see how you're doing. You don't have to be so ugly about it,” he says completely taken aback by this side of his friend, one that he's never seen before.
“Get the hell out of here, Clark. I'm not in the mood to deal with this shit. Take your fucking sympathy somewhere else,” Lex seethes as he gets right down into Clark's face where he's seated to deliver the vicious words.
“What is your problem?” Clark says as he raises his voice slightly as he tries to push Lex away from him without hurting the clearly distraught man.
“Keep your filthy hands off me!” Lex yells as he violently pushes Clark back down into the chair.
“This isn't you talking, baby,” Clark says as he rises and stands directly in front of Lex. “Why are you acting this way? Why are you treating me like this?” Clark asks as he moves to touch Lex's shoulder but stops himself when he sees how hard the other man flinches away from his touch. This close to the other man, Clark can see how hard Lex's hands are shaking. As he takes a slight step back, he realizes that Lex is shaking all over.
“Please, baby. You need to calm down. We can talk about this. You being all mad like this isn't good for you or the baby,” Clark says as he moves to step closer to Lex but finds himself completely shocked by what happens next.
Once second he's moving to comfort his boyfriend, and the next he's being struck in the face. It doesn't hurt him physically, but he's never been hit like that in anger before. All he can do is stare at the stranger before him as he tries to figure out what has happened to the Lex he's come to love.
“Who are you?” Clark asks as tears roll down his face.
“Fuck off,” Lex growls at Clark as he grabs the keys from his desk and storms out of the castle.
As Lex drops the clutch and pulls away as fast as he can, he can't help but see that Clark is standing in the doorway looking at him with pain filled eyes. But Lex just can't bring himself to give a damn. Anger is at his side controlling his every action, and all he can do is listen to it as it tells him to 'get away as fast as you can.'
As Lex rips out of the grounds of the estate he's so blinded by his own rage, that he fails to notice the car that pulls out directly behind him. He doesn't notice that the faster he goes, the faster the car behind him moves to keep up. And it's not until he feels the jolt of the other car ramming into the back of him, that he realizes just how much trouble he's in. But by then it's already too late. Lex looks up into his rearview mirror and sees the determined face of freshly terminated employeeSmith driving behind the wheel of the car that's run him off the road.
As his car flips as it hits the embankment, the name 'Clark' leaves his lips. As everything becomes a canopy of breaking glass and loud screeching noises, he knows that this is it. This is his death, and he's going to take his unborn child with him to the grave.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lex can hear voices, but he's lost alone in the darkness. Someone caresses his face, but he doesn't know who it is. He fights with himself to open his eyes, and when he does he finds himself lying on the floor of a beautiful, white room. As he slowly sits up, he begins to take in his surroundings and realizes that he's never been here before. Standing up on legs that are a lot sturdier than he would've expected, he turns to see a beautifully decorated dinner table across the room where three people are standing inviting him to come and sit with them.
Lex moves over to them, and it feels as if he's trying to walk through water.
“Please sit, son,” the woman says, and he instantly recognizes the voice as being his mother's. He turns his head to look at the man at the head of the table, and it's his father smiling back at him. He looks happy, content. Lex has never seen that expression on his face, and he knows that he's dead, that they all are, even before he feels the hand of the little boy pulling on his shirt.
“Let's eat, Alexander,” the dark haired little boy says as he climbs up into his seat.
“Please eat. You're much too thin, son,” Lillian says as she takes a bite of her meal while watching to make sure that Julian is able to handle himself okay.
“Yes, Lex,” Lionel says, “You have to eat some if you want to stay here with us. Believe me, you'll like it here. You won't have to be sick anymore or worry about anything.”
“Can my baby come, too?” Lex asks as he reaches down to place his hands on his stomach but is shocked when he realizes that nothing is there other than his now slightly concave stomach.
“No!” Lex yells as he abruptly stands from the table.
“Sit!” Lionel yells as he stands and starts moving towards his son with a sick grin on his face.
A cold dread washes through Lex, and he knows that this place is wrong. He looks down at the food on the table and sees that it all has spoiled. He doesn't want to be here. He doesn't want to be here if it means that he's going to lose Clark and his baby.
Just as his father's now skeletal, withered hand is about to touch his arm, his entire body is whipped backwards by an unknown force and he once again finds himself in darkness.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Please, Lex. Open your eyes for me. You can do it,” Clark says as he continues to stroke Lex's brow. He's been in a coma for the last few weeks, and the doctors are beginning to lose hope that he will recover. Clark can't stand the sight of the feeding tube running up Lex's nose and down into his throat and stomach, but he knows that it's the only thing keeping both Lex and their child alive.
Clark keeps playing their last conversation over and over in his head, and he knows that that's not how they are meant to end. Lex has become the one thing that he thought that he'd never have, and he's not willing to give up on that possibility - that chance at happiness.
“Please, baby. Come back to me. Come back to us,” Clark says as he leans over to place a soft kiss on the lips of the man he loves.
When he pulls back and sees open eyes staring back as him, shining with love and regret, he knows that everything is going to be alright.
They have a lot of things to work through. He knows that. He knows they have to find the man that almost destroyed their little family before it had a chance to properly start. He knows that he's constantly finding out new things about his abilities, and he wants to share them with Lex. He knows that Lex is going to have to work on his anger issues, and he knows that it's going to take time before everything is better.
But most importantly and above all else, he knows that he's found love and he's going to do all that he can to hold on to it.
THE END
Author: Lexophilia
Artist: Fruitbat00
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: R
Word Count: 10K for entire story
Genre/Warnings: m/m, hurt/comfort, drama, angst, profanity, AU, domestic violence, mpreg, chronic illness, minor character death
Summary: The day his father told him he was going to be sent to live in Smallville, Lex suffered a pain deep in his stomach that had nothing to do with his Crohn's. After the events of the meteor shower, he swore to himself that he'd never return to that place. It's funny how something bad can turn into something amazing. Lex never expected to find someone like Clark. Clark never knew he could give himself wholly to someone until he got to know the unusual man he'd risked his life to save. But will anger, illness, death, and a very unexpected surprise keep them from having the happiness they both so desperately crave? This is a very different retelling of their story.
Author's Notes: Much thanks and love to fruitbat00 for kicking my ass and keeping my head in the game. Without your support, this story wouldn't have been completed.
Back to Part 1: http://lexophilia.livejournal.com/45149.html
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The next few weeks are nothing short of amazing. Work is going well. Lex and Clark have been getting to know each other even more, and if possible, the sex between them is getting better and better. They'd realized the morning after their first time together that they hadn't used a condom, and they'd made sure to use one ever since. Lionel hadn't called to check up on him or interfere in his life in a while, and things seemed to be going great.
Great, that is, until he starts to get sick.
At first he figured it was just his body reacting to the fact that he was working too hard and not really taking care of his nutritional needs as he should have been. He'd noticed that his clothes were fitting a little more loosely than they usually did, but his weight going down a little and then coming back up again was nothing new to him. It didn't feel like he was having a flare up, but he still didn't feel quite right. So when the feeling of nausea didn't go away after a while and he started experiencing severe stomach pains, he knew that he couldn't put off going to a doctor. Clark had noticed him holding his stomach and wincing the other night, and he'd promised the other man that if he wasn't better by the morning, he'd go see someone.
Lex knew that if he had an obstruction or one of the other hundred things that could go wrong with his body taking place, it would not bode well for him if he continued to ignore it. It never did. He'd more than learned from his past mistakes in underestimating the potentially serious complications that came along with having Crohn's.
Dr. Morris seemed like a competent man. Clark had referred him to his office saying that he'd been the Kent's family doctor for as long as he could remember. Dr. Morris had also worked with a lot of the changed children, and he'd been trained in caring for what was sometimes considered their 'specific and special needs.' Those words had initially made him not want to go to the man, but Clark promised him that the man had never made him feel like a freak just because he was different.
Lex was reasonably nervous as he sat on the doctor's table waiting for the man to return. He'd been sparred the embarrassment of having to dress in one of those flimsy little gowns, but he still felt overly exposed sitting there in a t-shirt and boxers. The man had taken some blood and urine samples and he'd sent them to the attached lab to have them analyzed. Lex had told the physician about his Crohns, and the doctor had felt and palpitated his abdomen to the point where he felt that he was going to be sick. The doctor had hummed and hmm'd to himself, but he hadn't said whether or not he'd felt anything out of place during his examination.
It didn't take long for the doctor to return, and there was no way that he could have ever been prepared for the news Dr. Morris gave him.
“How is that even possible?” Lex said as a wave of dizziness washed over him. There was no way that he could be pregnant. No way.
“Well,” the doctor said as he sat in the chair across from his young patient and looked with kindness at the obviously shocked young man seated before him. “You have been having unprotected sex, haven't you?
All Lex could do was nod.
“And you were in Smallville at the time of the meteor shower from what you have told me.”
Lex nods again as he feels what he has always know to be true and real, at least about his own body, starting to slip away from him.
“Son, did you not know that 25% of the tested changed male children are able to conceive?” the man asked as he realizes that, no, the poor young man didn't.
“No. No, sir.” Lex says as he feels himself beginning to sway. He feels himself starting to fall over and possibly off of the table when his shoulders are grasped by strong hands.
“Maybe you should lay down,” Dr. Morris says as he helps Lex do just that. “Is there someone that I can call for you? I can clearly see that this is a shock for you, and even if you do lay down for a bit, I don't feel comfortable letting you drive on your own like this.
Lex gives the man a number from memory and tells him to ask for 'Clark.' The doctor looks at him strangely for a beat before he pulls his personal cell from his pocket and calls the number.
“I figured maybe you didn't want the secretaries up front involved in your personal affairs,” the doctor says as he waits for Clark to answer.
As Lex listens to the man talk to Clark, he knows that he made the right decision listening to his friend and coming to see Dr. Morris. If this had happened and he'd been in Metropolis, everyone would know just how much of a freak the Luthor heir was in no time flat.
The conversation between Clark and the doctor had been brief with the only thing being said was that Lex had had an appointment, that he was okay, but he needed someone to drive him home.
“I have a feeling, young man, that Clark will be here any minute. I can have someone come in to help you get dressed, or you can wait for your friend to get here. I just can't let you do it on your own now. I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself inadvertently.” The doctor said as he moved over to a drawer and started pulling out some pamphlets.
“I'm going to give you a week's supply of sample prenatal vitamins. These shouldn't interact negatively with your Crohns medications, but if they do, then we can switch them for something else.
Lex sat straight up forgetting about how bad he was feeling as he heard the doctor mention his illness.
“Can I even carry a child with this - with this condition I have?” Lex asked with an audible tremble in his voice as he came to the conclusion that his body wouldn't even be able to carry his and Clark's child.
“Please lay back down, Mr. Luthor. Of course you can carry successfully with Crohns. I would have said something if you couldn't.” Dr. Morris says as he helps the other man to once again lay back.
Just as he's putting the pamphlets and the medication into a bag, the doctor hears a tap on the door and isn't surprised to see Clark Kent on the other side of it.
“Doctor,” Clark says as he slips into the door door and closes it behind him.
“It's good to see you, young man,” Dr. Morris says as he pats the young man he's seen grow up over the years on the back.
“Hey, Lex. How are you?” Clark says as he looks down into Lex's face.
“I'm - I'm - I don't even -,” Lex struggles to get out as he fights to find the right words.
“Doctor, is he okay?” Clark asks as he turns worried eyes onto the man quietly watching them.
“He'll be fine. I have some things for him in the bag on the counter, and he needs to be back to see me in the next couple of days. Just call, and I'll fit you in,” Dr. Morris says as he leaves the two men alone to talk.
Lex thinks he knows how he's going to break the news of his pregnancy to Clark until the other man opens his mouth to speak and he finds himself at a complete loss for words.
“I've never run so fast in my life,” Clark says as he pulls the doctor's chair from the corner and sits on it so that he can look Lex directly in the eyes. He places his hands on either side of Lex's face and gently kisses him, once on the forehead, an then on his nose, before ever so lightly pressing his lips against his mouth. When Clark pulls back, Lex can see the tears that are threatening to fall from Clark's eyes, and in that moment he prays to a god that he rarely believes in that everything will be okay.
“We haven't know each other for that long,” Clark says as twin tears finally fall, “but I know what I feel for you. Lex, I'm falling for you. I'm falling in love with you. And when the doctor called me from his private cell to come and get you, I knew that something was wrong. Please tell me, baby. Please tell me that you're going to be okay.” Clark says as he stands and wraps his arms around his friend, his partner, his lover.
“I - I love you, too, I think,” Lex says as he gives the other man a watery smile. “I'm going to be okay, it's just a bit of a shock.” Lex says as he sits up and is thankful that the dizzy spell has finally passed.
“Why are you here then? Is it something with your stomach? I know that you said it had been bothering you,” Clark says as he moves over to the bag on the counter and pulls one of the pamphlets from the inside to look at it.
“Clark, wait! I wanted to tell you,” Lex says as he moves off of the bed to remove the offending paper from Clark's hands even though is knows it's already too late by the slightly dazed look in Clark's beautiful green eyes.
“What? How? Really?!” Clark says as he drops everything in his hands on the floor and wraps his arms around the other man, hugging him so closely that he can feel Lex's heart hammering against his chest.
“I'm pregnant,” Lex whispers into Clark's ear as he allows himself to sink into the warmth of the man whose literally holding him an inch or two off the ground.
So much is going though Lex's mind that he's barely able to keep up with all of it. He's still in a bit of shock, there's no doubt about that, but he's also happier than he can ever remember being. He already knows that he will love this child, their child, unconditionally, and that he would never in a million years be the cold, heartless type of father that Lionel is.
He's never felt more like an alien in his own body that he does right now, but he knows as long as Clark is willing to stick by him and help him, that everything will work out in the end. He realizes that he's probably being overly sentimental, but he guesses it's okay for this one time.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lex's old friend anger comes to visit him not even a full week later. For some reason, his father needs him to come to Metropolis for a week to assist him with some apparently urgent business matters. Clark tells him that he shouldn't go, that he's not well enough, and he comes frighteningly close to telling Clark to mind his own business before he realizes that Clark is only concerned for his health and that of their baby.
So Lex ends up going to Metropolis for a week. And just like he imagined, most of the time is spent arguing with his father. The finally fight about the car Lex totaled and about how much damage Lex had done to his precious collectables and antiques the day he'd bashed everything he could in his father's home. They fight about how Lex could be doing better with the Smallville plant, and that only ends up throwing fuel on the fire of his anger because he knows he's been working himself to the bone and that he's already increased production, without hiring any additional staff, by 20%. They end up fighting about a lot of things that week, and when Lex looks back on it he can't help but feel regret even though he knows most of the bitterness in his relationship with his father had been Lionel's fault.
Lex feels regret, guilt, and most of all an unexplainable, profound loss at the end of that week because it's the last times that he sees his father alive. The last words between him and his father hold no type of familial love, and that lack of a connection, even with Lionel, leaves him reeling.
The day Lex is scheduled to return to Smallville, he and his dad get into a major argument. Unbeknownst to Lex, Lionel had been having pains in his arm and neck all day but had been ignoring it thinking that it was nothing most than a little muscle strain that he'd be able to alleviate with some ibuprofen once he got home.
Lionel never made it home.
As he and his son are crossing the street to head back up to his apartment, Lionel grabs his chest before hitting the ground like a puppet whose strings have been cut. Lionel seems to die almost instantly, and Lex finds himself holding his dead father in his arms.
Three days later, he finds himself standing watching his father being lowered into the ground as he hears people around him whispering about the mysterious, yet attractive young man holding his hand. Lex doesn't care. All he can think about is how much he already misses the bastard. He knows that Lionel had loved him, even if it was in a sick and controlling way. And he knows that he'd loved his father in return, even if it was desperation and a need to feel as if he belonged somewhere in this cruel world driving that love. But what's really killing him and eating away at his insides is the fact that he'll never get the chance to tell his father that he'd been able to find happiness without him. He has Clark now and they are having a baby together.
He would have liked for Lionel to have known that.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Clark and his family serve as a stronghold for Lex as he deals with the loss of his father. The small, tight-knit family is both saddened and disturbed by the fact that there is no one calling to check up on Lex other than attorneys who've been pushing him to settle his father's estate. For some reason that's beyond Clark and his parents, Lex attempts to go to work the day after his father's funeral, and it doesn't go well for anyone involved. If Lex had been willing to admit it to himself, he'd been having a difficult time with his Crohn's even before he found out that he was pregnant, and the death of his father had put so much additional stress on his already weakened system that he's now no longer feeling like anything resembling healthy.
Dr. Morris had cautioned him a week before that there was a possibility that his pregnancy could terminate on his own after Clark had called concerned because Lex had somehow dropped more weight in the week or two since he'd last been seen. Lex hadn't handle that bit of news well, though he did his best not to show his fear to Clark.
So yes, maybe returning to work in Smallville the day after his father's funeral was one of his not so bright ideas. He was feeling horrible, but he felt he was doing a pretty good job at hiding it from his observant boyfriend and his family.
However, he knew he'd made a really bad choice to go back so soon when he got into a major argument with an employee over something that should have been handled in a much more professional and dignified manner.
Lex is walking through the plant, taking a moment out the morning to make sure that his employees are on task and working hard to keep their current level of production up, when he overhears a conversation that a small group of his male workers are having.
“Did you hear about our queer little boss? His father just died and the little bastard is already back at work trying to make a dollar. Oh yeah, and you know what everyone is saying about him. That something's going on between him and that weird changed kid that lives out on that big-assed farm. And from what I hear, our faggot boss has been in and out of the doctor's office, too. Something just ain't right, boys. We don't need anymore weirdness going on here in Smallville. We already have enough of that with all of those teenaged freaks that the government allowed to live.” The man, Smith Lex remembers, says as the other men in the circle either laugh or nod in agreement.
Before the man even has a chance to open his mouth to spit out more hateful venom, Lex makes his presence know and, yes, he's a little bit thrilled by the fact that being caught in the act now has these men quaking in their boots. That is, all of the men except for Smith seemed shocked.
Lex's friend anger overcomes him in the next few moments as he begins to viciously berate Smith in front of the small group. Lex is pretty sure that he uses every swear word in his vocabulary as he gives the man a piece of his mind.
“You're fired. Get the hell out of my factory, you ungrateful piece of shit. And the rest of you better get back to work immediately or your asses will be out of here as well.” Lex says turning his back on the stunned group as he heads to his office to grab his keys to get the hell out of there. Anger is coursing through his veins, and his fingers are itching to break something, namely Smith's face.
When Lex arrives home, all he wants to do is be left alone for a while so that he can try to get a handle on his temper, when the first thing that he sees is Clark waiting for him in his office.
The look on Clark's face as Lex storms into his office is so sincere and concerned, that it only succeeds in making his already bubbling rage burn hotter.
“Clark, why the hell are you here?” Lex asks as he slams his briefcase down on the desk before moving to stand directly in front of the last person he should be taking his frustrations out on.
“I'm just here to see how you're doing. You don't have to be so ugly about it,” he says completely taken aback by this side of his friend, one that he's never seen before.
“Get the hell out of here, Clark. I'm not in the mood to deal with this shit. Take your fucking sympathy somewhere else,” Lex seethes as he gets right down into Clark's face where he's seated to deliver the vicious words.
“What is your problem?” Clark says as he raises his voice slightly as he tries to push Lex away from him without hurting the clearly distraught man.
“Keep your filthy hands off me!” Lex yells as he violently pushes Clark back down into the chair.
“This isn't you talking, baby,” Clark says as he rises and stands directly in front of Lex. “Why are you acting this way? Why are you treating me like this?” Clark asks as he moves to touch Lex's shoulder but stops himself when he sees how hard the other man flinches away from his touch. This close to the other man, Clark can see how hard Lex's hands are shaking. As he takes a slight step back, he realizes that Lex is shaking all over.
“Please, baby. You need to calm down. We can talk about this. You being all mad like this isn't good for you or the baby,” Clark says as he moves to step closer to Lex but finds himself completely shocked by what happens next.
Once second he's moving to comfort his boyfriend, and the next he's being struck in the face. It doesn't hurt him physically, but he's never been hit like that in anger before. All he can do is stare at the stranger before him as he tries to figure out what has happened to the Lex he's come to love.
“Who are you?” Clark asks as tears roll down his face.
“Fuck off,” Lex growls at Clark as he grabs the keys from his desk and storms out of the castle.
As Lex drops the clutch and pulls away as fast as he can, he can't help but see that Clark is standing in the doorway looking at him with pain filled eyes. But Lex just can't bring himself to give a damn. Anger is at his side controlling his every action, and all he can do is listen to it as it tells him to 'get away as fast as you can.'
As Lex rips out of the grounds of the estate he's so blinded by his own rage, that he fails to notice the car that pulls out directly behind him. He doesn't notice that the faster he goes, the faster the car behind him moves to keep up. And it's not until he feels the jolt of the other car ramming into the back of him, that he realizes just how much trouble he's in. But by then it's already too late. Lex looks up into his rearview mirror and sees the determined face of freshly terminated employeeSmith driving behind the wheel of the car that's run him off the road.
As his car flips as it hits the embankment, the name 'Clark' leaves his lips. As everything becomes a canopy of breaking glass and loud screeching noises, he knows that this is it. This is his death, and he's going to take his unborn child with him to the grave.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lex can hear voices, but he's lost alone in the darkness. Someone caresses his face, but he doesn't know who it is. He fights with himself to open his eyes, and when he does he finds himself lying on the floor of a beautiful, white room. As he slowly sits up, he begins to take in his surroundings and realizes that he's never been here before. Standing up on legs that are a lot sturdier than he would've expected, he turns to see a beautifully decorated dinner table across the room where three people are standing inviting him to come and sit with them.
Lex moves over to them, and it feels as if he's trying to walk through water.
“Please sit, son,” the woman says, and he instantly recognizes the voice as being his mother's. He turns his head to look at the man at the head of the table, and it's his father smiling back at him. He looks happy, content. Lex has never seen that expression on his face, and he knows that he's dead, that they all are, even before he feels the hand of the little boy pulling on his shirt.
“Let's eat, Alexander,” the dark haired little boy says as he climbs up into his seat.
“Please eat. You're much too thin, son,” Lillian says as she takes a bite of her meal while watching to make sure that Julian is able to handle himself okay.
“Yes, Lex,” Lionel says, “You have to eat some if you want to stay here with us. Believe me, you'll like it here. You won't have to be sick anymore or worry about anything.”
“Can my baby come, too?” Lex asks as he reaches down to place his hands on his stomach but is shocked when he realizes that nothing is there other than his now slightly concave stomach.
“No!” Lex yells as he abruptly stands from the table.
“Sit!” Lionel yells as he stands and starts moving towards his son with a sick grin on his face.
A cold dread washes through Lex, and he knows that this place is wrong. He looks down at the food on the table and sees that it all has spoiled. He doesn't want to be here. He doesn't want to be here if it means that he's going to lose Clark and his baby.
Just as his father's now skeletal, withered hand is about to touch his arm, his entire body is whipped backwards by an unknown force and he once again finds himself in darkness.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Please, Lex. Open your eyes for me. You can do it,” Clark says as he continues to stroke Lex's brow. He's been in a coma for the last few weeks, and the doctors are beginning to lose hope that he will recover. Clark can't stand the sight of the feeding tube running up Lex's nose and down into his throat and stomach, but he knows that it's the only thing keeping both Lex and their child alive.
Clark keeps playing their last conversation over and over in his head, and he knows that that's not how they are meant to end. Lex has become the one thing that he thought that he'd never have, and he's not willing to give up on that possibility - that chance at happiness.
“Please, baby. Come back to me. Come back to us,” Clark says as he leans over to place a soft kiss on the lips of the man he loves.
When he pulls back and sees open eyes staring back as him, shining with love and regret, he knows that everything is going to be alright.
They have a lot of things to work through. He knows that. He knows they have to find the man that almost destroyed their little family before it had a chance to properly start. He knows that he's constantly finding out new things about his abilities, and he wants to share them with Lex. He knows that Lex is going to have to work on his anger issues, and he knows that it's going to take time before everything is better.
But most importantly and above all else, he knows that he's found love and he's going to do all that he can to hold on to it.
THE END