Marked

Jul 07, 2010 05:45

Title: Marked ( Read more... )

nc-17; rachel/quinn; marked

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Comments 27

flipflop555 July 7 2010, 14:36:54 UTC
i really really reallyyyyyyy really really x4 liked this alott =D

very sweet, which i luuurv, hot and sexy, great stuff, keep going w it, ur good =)

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lezgirls65 July 7 2010, 16:45:26 UTC
I really really really really x4 appreciate your feedback. thanks!

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brittana_otp July 7 2010, 14:49:52 UTC
Oh. My. God.
No words, no matter how hard I try, can sum up how much I love this. It was beautiful, funny, sweet, sexy, intimate, and so wonderfully written.

The begining was adorbale with the 'How well do you know me' game. The middle was so damn hot but beautiful and sweet at the same time. The ending was perect, just so perfect. I loved how you ending it the way you started it.

I don't think you have to worry about any criticism at all because this was perfect. Definitely one of my favorites fics ever.

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brittana_otp July 7 2010, 14:58:52 UTC
Oh yeah, and I got so caught up in it that I completely forgot about the tattoo. I was like, "what? oh yeah." This is what your smut does to me.

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lezgirls65 July 7 2010, 16:47:00 UTC
Thanks so much! I got distracted by my own smut, which sounds really egotistical now that I think about it, but it's true. at least when I was re-reading it, I did.

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darksyx July 7 2010, 15:05:32 UTC
So cute and sweet. I really liked it. <3

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faithlessfate July 7 2010, 16:01:31 UTC
This was pretty damn awesome. Watch your tenses, I see you switching them in the middle sometimes, and try to be a bit clearer about who's doing what, without using so many words...

for example:
"They laid there for some minutes before Quinn began to shift next to Rachel. The brunette quickly realized that Quinn was trying to move on top of her, so she helped her settle on top of the brunette. "

you can replace the first "brunette" with "she", since the qualifier Quinn is next, and the second "brunette" should be "herself"...

aside from the grammar(and a good beta will fix that, I volunteer lol) this was an excellent piece of writing, I enjoyed it immensely.

Your smutting is well done, not overly vulgar, and not sugary sweet...

bravo!

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lezgirls65 July 7 2010, 16:42:03 UTC
I've actually been looking for a beta but I haven't had any ideas of where to find any. I will parky take you up on your offer.

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faithlessfate July 7 2010, 16:43:06 UTC
anytime, sweetpea. hit me up on aim, falastair or shoot me an email, falastair@gmail.com

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mjacton July 7 2010, 16:39:48 UTC
The end was amazing!

They weren't telling each other their own favorites. They were telling the others.--This whole game was so adorable!

The tattoos were so moving.

And the sex was hot and sweet, my favorite kind!

I know, I know. It hurts, I know. But I have to do this baby.--I loved how Quinn, after initial concern, was more insistent even amidst the soothing. She knew she had to do it, and she knew Rachel wanted her to do it.

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lezgirls65 July 7 2010, 16:48:39 UTC
I've never been in Quinn's position so I had to imagine what I would do in that situation. immglad it came across well.

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mjacton July 7 2010, 19:09:19 UTC
Well, neither have I, but all the other ones I've read (and the one I wrote) had her kind of scared the whole time. This seemed to be a welcome change from that.

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