(no subject)
instructions:
write fifteen statements,
intended to different people.
never tell which one is to who
things you've always wanted to tell people
1) There are times I want to put you in a blender and vice versa, but you're the closest friend I've ever had, and I miss you when you're not around.
2) You inspire me.
3) You are incredibly easy and wonderful to be around... oddly enough, because of your selfishness. But not in a bad way...
4) Thank you for being everything you've ever been to me. We don't talk often enough, but I know that no matter what you're behind me 100%, and if I'm ever having trouble I can talk to you. I wish you lived closer.
5) I wish we hadn't fallen out of touch. I keep saying I'm going to call you, but I feel like there's very little to talk about... but in some perverse way, I don't want to stop being your friend. You're still close to my heart and I look up to you a lot.
6) I owe everything I am to you. I absolutely adore you and everything you do... I worship you and I always read your journal entries, and sometimes I comment, but I always read and I always care about what's going on in your life. I wish we could be closer, but I know that's not going to happen. So I'm just happy that you still recognize me ^_^
7) No matter how many insecurities I have, I can't thank you enough for being absolutely perfect. You don't understand that that means everything to me - how worse my life would be if you weren't. Thank you for being everything I never remembered I always wanted and more.
8) I always read your journal entries, too - thanks for being an interesting person, even if I don't hero-worship you, I remember you fondly.
9) I miss you. Plain and simple. I feel kind of cheated - like the friendship I held so close to me meant so little to you... even though I know it didn't, and I know I've grown and changed, too, but I cling to the past like a barnacle. I wish there was a better way to contact you, but I feel like you're so far gone that we have no connection anymore. It makes me really sad, because back then..... you were my best friend, at school. You really were.
10) I'm happy for you. I want the best for you. I want you to be happy, and it pains me to see how much stress you're under. Please, please don't take on any more than you can handle. I still love you, in it's own way, and I definitely definitely care about you. I even miss you in that way sometimes, though rarely. You were the purest and most innocent love I've ever had, and will never have again. I will always doubt. We weren't perfect but we were, too.
11) I look back a lot, but I look to the future, too, and I know you're there. Time and time again I've doubted you, but... though you may not always be the closest friend at the moment, you are my Best Friend and it will always be that way. I care about you more than almost anyone... and I look up to you, too, for your passion and energy and purity. And, I miss you.
12) I'm sorry for all the shit I've put you through. I can't really explain myself at the best of times, and a lot of times I forget why we're friends... but we ARE friends, don't ever forget that. But... there are people who are closer to me. I'm sure you know who. And, sometimes it's got to be about us, and not you... I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
13) You're both great friends - sometimes. But it really hurts me how you never come around anymore, like we have to dangle a shiny object in your face to make you stay. It's like all you want with us is the toys, and not us. Your friends. And... as for the other one... well, it hurts even more when you suddenly decide you hate me. It really, really hurts.
14) I'm so happy. I didn't realize how much I'd missed you. I know you know this... but I think the absolute highest of you, and I trust you implicitly. Knowing that I have a special place in your life makes me so happy, and giddy, and yet comfortable... you know you could have swept me off my feet, you know you could have made me love you. Which is exactly why you didn't and why you don't. You make everything possible.
15) I've saved the most difficult for last... you're probably not going to read this, which is why I'm writing it. It's pretty obvious who it's addressed to. I... have never told you a lie in my life. I still love you more than anything in the world. But I can't be with you... and, to be truthful, I probably won't ever be. I don't know why the fates insist on dragging me from person to person and upheaving my life from happiness to happiness, but... all I want is for you to be happy and not to be angry with me, though you have a right to be... I just want you to be happy, not angry. I couldn't make you happy from miles and miles away, and I was killing myself in the process. I... it was sudden. I'm sorry for that. I don't even know why it was so sudden, even now. I don't even really know what happened, only that I feel lighter, and calmer. And I wish I could talk to you, but I know I would just fall in love with you again, and harder. And... while we're on the subject of things I'll never say... well... it hurt. When you said you couldn't be out here for over three years. I'm still so mixed up over everything. To be honest... I still can't see my life with anyone else but you, and at the same time, I know that things can't change, not now. I can't give my opinion on anything. I'm sorry.
write fifteen statements,
intended to different people.
never tell which one is to who
things you've always wanted to tell people
1) There are times I want to put you in a blender and vice versa, but you're the closest friend I've ever had, and I miss you when you're not around.
2) You inspire me.
3) You are incredibly easy and wonderful to be around... oddly enough, because of your selfishness. But not in a bad way...
4) Thank you for being everything you've ever been to me. We don't talk often enough, but I know that no matter what you're behind me 100%, and if I'm ever having trouble I can talk to you. I wish you lived closer.
5) I wish we hadn't fallen out of touch. I keep saying I'm going to call you, but I feel like there's very little to talk about... but in some perverse way, I don't want to stop being your friend. You're still close to my heart and I look up to you a lot.
6) I owe everything I am to you. I absolutely adore you and everything you do... I worship you and I always read your journal entries, and sometimes I comment, but I always read and I always care about what's going on in your life. I wish we could be closer, but I know that's not going to happen. So I'm just happy that you still recognize me ^_^
7) No matter how many insecurities I have, I can't thank you enough for being absolutely perfect. You don't understand that that means everything to me - how worse my life would be if you weren't. Thank you for being everything I never remembered I always wanted and more.
8) I always read your journal entries, too - thanks for being an interesting person, even if I don't hero-worship you, I remember you fondly.
9) I miss you. Plain and simple. I feel kind of cheated - like the friendship I held so close to me meant so little to you... even though I know it didn't, and I know I've grown and changed, too, but I cling to the past like a barnacle. I wish there was a better way to contact you, but I feel like you're so far gone that we have no connection anymore. It makes me really sad, because back then..... you were my best friend, at school. You really were.
10) I'm happy for you. I want the best for you. I want you to be happy, and it pains me to see how much stress you're under. Please, please don't take on any more than you can handle. I still love you, in it's own way, and I definitely definitely care about you. I even miss you in that way sometimes, though rarely. You were the purest and most innocent love I've ever had, and will never have again. I will always doubt. We weren't perfect but we were, too.
11) I look back a lot, but I look to the future, too, and I know you're there. Time and time again I've doubted you, but... though you may not always be the closest friend at the moment, you are my Best Friend and it will always be that way. I care about you more than almost anyone... and I look up to you, too, for your passion and energy and purity. And, I miss you.
12) I'm sorry for all the shit I've put you through. I can't really explain myself at the best of times, and a lot of times I forget why we're friends... but we ARE friends, don't ever forget that. But... there are people who are closer to me. I'm sure you know who. And, sometimes it's got to be about us, and not you... I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
13) You're both great friends - sometimes. But it really hurts me how you never come around anymore, like we have to dangle a shiny object in your face to make you stay. It's like all you want with us is the toys, and not us. Your friends. And... as for the other one... well, it hurts even more when you suddenly decide you hate me. It really, really hurts.
14) I'm so happy. I didn't realize how much I'd missed you. I know you know this... but I think the absolute highest of you, and I trust you implicitly. Knowing that I have a special place in your life makes me so happy, and giddy, and yet comfortable... you know you could have swept me off my feet, you know you could have made me love you. Which is exactly why you didn't and why you don't. You make everything possible.
15) I've saved the most difficult for last... you're probably not going to read this, which is why I'm writing it. It's pretty obvious who it's addressed to. I... have never told you a lie in my life. I still love you more than anything in the world. But I can't be with you... and, to be truthful, I probably won't ever be. I don't know why the fates insist on dragging me from person to person and upheaving my life from happiness to happiness, but... all I want is for you to be happy and not to be angry with me, though you have a right to be... I just want you to be happy, not angry. I couldn't make you happy from miles and miles away, and I was killing myself in the process. I... it was sudden. I'm sorry for that. I don't even know why it was so sudden, even now. I don't even really know what happened, only that I feel lighter, and calmer. And I wish I could talk to you, but I know I would just fall in love with you again, and harder. And... while we're on the subject of things I'll never say... well... it hurt. When you said you couldn't be out here for over three years. I'm still so mixed up over everything. To be honest... I still can't see my life with anyone else but you, and at the same time, I know that things can't change, not now. I can't give my opinion on anything. I'm sorry.