My humble, lone, Your Choice fic
WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO SIT ON MY LAP AND TELL ME IF YOUR BEHAVIOR HAS BEEN APPROPRIATE?
Title: Death The Hogfather Santa Claus is coming to the Hyperion
Fandom:Angel/Discworld
Word count: 554
Angel searched for the intruder that had woken him up. As he neared the source of the phantom noises, he caught a flash of red, he prepared to kick some evil - if festively dressed - arse.
Then he saw the skull, and a resigned sigh fell through his lips.
“You have got to be kidding me,” Angel groaned and stared in horror, trying to make sense of a brightly colored hat covering an ossified mask of rictus.
HOHOHO. HAPPY HOGSWATCH. HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD… CREATURE… THIS YEAR?
“Wha…?” In hazy confusion, Angel stared at the gaudy, grotesque sight.
OH. SORRY. HOHOHO. MERRY CHRISTMAS. A light in his sockets seemed to flare hopefully.
“You’re moonlighting as Santa Clause, now? Were the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny busy?!”
NEITHER HAS THE REQUIRED ENNUNCIATION AND BRAVADO. AND SANTA IS… INDISPOSED. I AM HELPING HIM. Though his facial expression couldn‘t change, his expression nonetheless seemed to beam with pride.
At Angel’s blank look, Death clarified, THE CHILDEREN NEED TO BELIEVE. BESIDES, IT IS NICE TO SEE A POSITIVE REACTION FROM THOSE I VISIT.
The two stood in awkward silence for a while, Angel fidgeting uncomfortably with the decorations everyone had put up.
ANGEL?
“Hmmm?” Angel just missed dropping a vase from the mantle.
WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO SIT ON MY LAP AND TELL ME IF YOUR BEHAVIOR HAS BEEN APPROPRIATE?
“No. Nonononono. That’s not necessary.
I HAVE CANDY CANES, YOU KNOW.
“I’ll pass, thanks”
BUT HOW CAN I FULLOUR TACIT CONTRACTUAL AGREEMENT?
Don’t worry. Really.” Angel took a step back, and, in an effort to keep the morbid Santa at bay, continued to babble. “Besides, isn’t it for the kids? Figgy pudding and dreams of sugar plums and all that?
EVERYONE NEEDS BELIEF, ANGEL. IF THEY ARE 2 OR 200. COME. SIT. I’M REALLY QUITE STURDY. INCIDENTALLY, NO ONE HAS EATEN SUGER PLUMS OR FIGGY PUDDING SINCE THE BEGINNING OF LAST CENTURY. YOU MAY WANT TO KEEP UP WITH THE TIMES IF YOU WANT TO BLEND IN WITH THE GENERAL POPULATION, ANGEL.
Angel couldn’t respond, so he put as many pieces of heavy furniture between himself and Death/Santa as possible.
I’M SENSING SOME RELUCTANCE ON YOUR PART,
A terrible thought occurred to Angel right then.
“What happened to Santa? Because when you say indisposed, I have to ask... “ Angel said a silent prayer that Santa still… existed.
I DIDN’T TAKE HIM. OTHERS DID. MY GRAND-DAUGHTER IS SEEING TO THEM, BUT I AM HELPING WITH THE TOY DISPENSING OPERATIONS. BELIEF MUST REMAIN INTACT.
It took all of Angel’s self-control not to ask how he came to have a grand-daughter, let alone ask for clarification of everything else.
NOW. A LITTLE RAT TOLD ME YOU MAY FIND THIS USEFUL. MERRY CHRISTMAS. From his sack, Death drew out a very ornate scarab. In fact, the scarab turned out to be a relic - one with supernatural powers. Wes had mentioned it several days ago.
In shock, Angel took the scarab, open-mouthed, an blinked.
“Wow…”
DON’T USE THAT UNLESS YOU MEAN TO. I’M BUSY ENOUGH AS IT IS.
Angel didn’t respond, didn’t move, didn’t blink - even as he heard the sound of cloven hooves stumbling across the rooftop. In the silence of the night, for the first time in a long time, Angel found that he believed.
Title: Death The Hogfather Santa Claus is coming to the Hyperion
Fandom:Angel/Discworld
Word count: 554
Angel searched for the intruder that had woken him up. As he neared the source of the phantom noises, he caught a flash of red, he prepared to kick some evil - if festively dressed - arse.
Then he saw the skull, and a resigned sigh fell through his lips.
“You have got to be kidding me,” Angel groaned and stared in horror, trying to make sense of a brightly colored hat covering an ossified mask of rictus.
HOHOHO. HAPPY HOGSWATCH. HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD… CREATURE… THIS YEAR?
“Wha…?” In hazy confusion, Angel stared at the gaudy, grotesque sight.
OH. SORRY. HOHOHO. MERRY CHRISTMAS. A light in his sockets seemed to flare hopefully.
“You’re moonlighting as Santa Clause, now? Were the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny busy?!”
NEITHER HAS THE REQUIRED ENNUNCIATION AND BRAVADO. AND SANTA IS… INDISPOSED. I AM HELPING HIM. Though his facial expression couldn‘t change, his expression nonetheless seemed to beam with pride.
At Angel’s blank look, Death clarified, THE CHILDEREN NEED TO BELIEVE. BESIDES, IT IS NICE TO SEE A POSITIVE REACTION FROM THOSE I VISIT.
The two stood in awkward silence for a while, Angel fidgeting uncomfortably with the decorations everyone had put up.
ANGEL?
“Hmmm?” Angel just missed dropping a vase from the mantle.
WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO SIT ON MY LAP AND TELL ME IF YOUR BEHAVIOR HAS BEEN APPROPRIATE?
“No. Nonononono. That’s not necessary.
I HAVE CANDY CANES, YOU KNOW.
“I’ll pass, thanks”
BUT HOW CAN I FULLOUR TACIT CONTRACTUAL AGREEMENT?
Don’t worry. Really.” Angel took a step back, and, in an effort to keep the morbid Santa at bay, continued to babble. “Besides, isn’t it for the kids? Figgy pudding and dreams of sugar plums and all that?
EVERYONE NEEDS BELIEF, ANGEL. IF THEY ARE 2 OR 200. COME. SIT. I’M REALLY QUITE STURDY. INCIDENTALLY, NO ONE HAS EATEN SUGER PLUMS OR FIGGY PUDDING SINCE THE BEGINNING OF LAST CENTURY. YOU MAY WANT TO KEEP UP WITH THE TIMES IF YOU WANT TO BLEND IN WITH THE GENERAL POPULATION, ANGEL.
Angel couldn’t respond, so he put as many pieces of heavy furniture between himself and Death/Santa as possible.
I’M SENSING SOME RELUCTANCE ON YOUR PART,
A terrible thought occurred to Angel right then.
“What happened to Santa? Because when you say indisposed, I have to ask... “ Angel said a silent prayer that Santa still… existed.
I DIDN’T TAKE HIM. OTHERS DID. MY GRAND-DAUGHTER IS SEEING TO THEM, BUT I AM HELPING WITH THE TOY DISPENSING OPERATIONS. BELIEF MUST REMAIN INTACT.
It took all of Angel’s self-control not to ask how he came to have a grand-daughter, let alone ask for clarification of everything else.
NOW. A LITTLE RAT TOLD ME YOU MAY FIND THIS USEFUL. MERRY CHRISTMAS. From his sack, Death drew out a very ornate scarab. In fact, the scarab turned out to be a relic - one with supernatural powers. Wes had mentioned it several days ago.
In shock, Angel took the scarab, open-mouthed, an blinked.
“Wow…”
DON’T USE THAT UNLESS YOU MEAN TO. I’M BUSY ENOUGH AS IT IS.
Angel didn’t respond, didn’t move, didn’t blink - even as he heard the sound of cloven hooves stumbling across the rooftop. In the silence of the night, for the first time in a long time, Angel found that he believed.