RL, fanfiction, blah blah blah...
o.o Something kinda big happened today, and I'm freaking out a bit right now. Trying to distract myself here, because if I don't I might start contemplating running away and hiding somewhere. Why do job searches/interviews do this?
Well, I have a guess. It's probably because opening up to people that I don't know is the complete antithesis of how I operate. I once got a comment from someone: "Man, last semester [i.e.: four months ago] I thought you were really quiet and boring. Now you're joking around and funny like this, you're like a different person... what happened?"
And I'm just thinking: '??? I changed? I guess, but isn't it obvious why??' So I said to this person: "Uh, well, because actually I know you now, whereas I didn't four months ago...?"
But then I had a revealation. It takes me four months before I'm willing to be myself around people, and, when I don't know a group well enough, I just clam up. I also tend to keep everyone but a few very close friends at arm's length, emotionally. It's not that I don't like them, or that nothing's going on in my head.... but my trust is, apparently, hard to win. :/
Maybe that makes me weird, I don't know. I'm sure it compounds the job interview jitters, though, because I know I'll have to force myself to talk openly about ... myself. You can't tell from this journal entry, but talking about myself is one of the things I hate to do the most (at least, in RL. Internet always feels a little ... different.)
Recently through the OTW, a reporter from Time magazine conducted interviews with members of fandom here on LJ (see lg_interview), for an article about fandom and fanfiction. The article written with this input has been published online now, and is supposed to be in this week's Time. You can read it here: The Boy Who Lived Forever. I wasn't quoted, though I did give my two cents via that interview comm. What's nice is that it's not only a neural-positive view of fandom, but it also gives an idea of how much variety there is in it. (Rather than just being all, shock-value: "OH MY ALL THE PORN!! LOOK AT THESE WEIRD, DIRTY PEOPLE AND WHAT THEY DO.")
Which is awesome, since I've even heard of one person losing their job after "coming out" about writing fanfic in an interview for another, more negative-bent article (and the person's real name was used in a quote).
In other news, I have not been able to do much with PoSM lately (sadness, things are just crazy what with work and teaching an ESL class and etc etc...), although I'm still on time for my unofficial schedule of posting a chapter every two months (which means, yes, another chapter, chapter 12, should be going up around the 20th of this month.) I'm ironing out the issues I had with annoying coincidence swordswoman in chapter 13 right now. Happily, 13 is about 3/4ths done... I'm also deciding what will happen next after that. There are many possibilities at this stage, but only one of them can fully be explored .... I just need to decide which one is the best choice.
Well, I have a guess. It's probably because opening up to people that I don't know is the complete antithesis of how I operate. I once got a comment from someone: "Man, last semester [i.e.: four months ago] I thought you were really quiet and boring. Now you're joking around and funny like this, you're like a different person... what happened?"
And I'm just thinking: '??? I changed? I guess, but isn't it obvious why??' So I said to this person: "Uh, well, because actually I know you now, whereas I didn't four months ago...?"
But then I had a revealation. It takes me four months before I'm willing to be myself around people, and, when I don't know a group well enough, I just clam up. I also tend to keep everyone but a few very close friends at arm's length, emotionally. It's not that I don't like them, or that nothing's going on in my head.... but my trust is, apparently, hard to win. :/
Maybe that makes me weird, I don't know. I'm sure it compounds the job interview jitters, though, because I know I'll have to force myself to talk openly about ... myself. You can't tell from this journal entry, but talking about myself is one of the things I hate to do the most (at least, in RL. Internet always feels a little ... different.)
Recently through the OTW, a reporter from Time magazine conducted interviews with members of fandom here on LJ (see lg_interview), for an article about fandom and fanfiction. The article written with this input has been published online now, and is supposed to be in this week's Time. You can read it here: The Boy Who Lived Forever. I wasn't quoted, though I did give my two cents via that interview comm. What's nice is that it's not only a neural-positive view of fandom, but it also gives an idea of how much variety there is in it. (Rather than just being all, shock-value: "OH MY ALL THE PORN!! LOOK AT THESE WEIRD, DIRTY PEOPLE AND WHAT THEY DO.")
Which is awesome, since I've even heard of one person losing their job after "coming out" about writing fanfic in an interview for another, more negative-bent article (and the person's real name was used in a quote).
In other news, I have not been able to do much with PoSM lately (sadness, things are just crazy what with work and teaching an ESL class and etc etc...), although I'm still on time for my unofficial schedule of posting a chapter every two months (which means, yes, another chapter, chapter 12, should be going up around the 20th of this month.) I'm ironing out the issues I had with annoying coincidence swordswoman in chapter 13 right now. Happily, 13 is about 3/4ths done... I'm also deciding what will happen next after that. There are many possibilities at this stage, but only one of them can fully be explored .... I just need to decide which one is the best choice.