Life is..Life..yet again

[liastorm]

So..here'st he deal. i thought about ti, and i can't move. it really sux and it's not what i want to do...but i just can't. it'd be such a step back. and i wouldnt' be going to school. DUH! I just hope terry doesn't flip out on me (aka=try to convince me to go up there still) but i can't. i almost feel bad b/c i wrote him a letter. had to it was

Comments

[firrir]

My mom's told me I should see a councelor quite a few times. I've always refused. I don't think you're depressed, but I do think you're going through a hard time.

Smile, and remember that it'll only get worse if you let it. It'll get better if you let it, too.

[liastorm]

that's true, and what's funny about the whole thing, is i'm actually still not sure whether i'm moving or not. i feel horrible about the whole thing, i am then i'm not now i am, then i'm not now i am again ect ect. it sux. mostly my influence to stay is my mom... but then i think about it and i'm not living my life when i'm here, which is not cool at all. i knwo my mom is trying to look after me, bu she's always been controlling of everyone around her, she tries to control thim to some degree. and i think she does it more so with me than anybody else. it makes sense, but i'm starting to get tired of it. i feel like i'm nto living my own life. and that has to change. yes, moving will be hard, but i think it might be harder to stay here. and as far as school? i'll finish up this sememster and go to school next year at a college up there. lolperhaps i should just post this as a LJ post o.o i might do that later. and add stuff. but anywz. i'm stil lost and it sux ass

[firrir]

I think saying 'you're not living your life' is a reflective statement on yourself. You control whether or not you live your life, and you control how. Being at her house has different rules than living on your own, or than they did your senior year, and both of you are going to have to deal with it.
Remember, it's your own life, and you need to take responsibility for it. Otherwise, you really have no excuses on how it turns out.
Keep your stick on the ice.

[anave_0144]

I know what you mean ang. We have CMS...Controlling Mother Syndrome--Not usually fatal, thankfully. Unfortunately, the cure seems far out of my reach, but I hear they sell it on the black market. I agree with firrir, but it's hard. Be thankful that your mom is looking out for you and your health--plus, willing to pay. Nothing wrong with seeing someone professionally. Some are quaks, others not. Just don't see one that has ultra-religious views.
As for Terry, do what you think is right. No one can tell you what that is except for you. Btw, an art store job sounds cool!
love ya, babe

[liastorm]

^ ^ CMS sux, but it shows she cares. so that's more than some people can ask for. as far as the counsler, i'll be fine, i'm coming out of it already. just dealing with Terry is going to be a problme i think..well not dealing wiht him, but getting him to understand..and then there's someting else i'm thinking about doign that's life changing..(will LJ it later) aside from that. i think i'll be fine ^ ^ can't wait until next semester tho!!! w00t