( video; english --> text )

[libertyfuckyeah]

[ America appears on screen looking like he just spent two weeks in a ditch (hint: he has). Stubble dots his face, dirt smudges every other inch of him, and he look so displeased.

I told you, bro. I told you about the ditches. ]

It keeps happening.Luckily for everyone who has ever been in peril or will be in desperate need of saving, your hero is

Comments

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[hullonurse]

[She has no idea who you are though the headache she got reading all that is very familiar.] You fell in a ditch.

... And I'm not particularly concerned for your breath, dear.

[libertyfuckyeah]

Oh, right! I should probably fix the ditch problem first, or do that while I go to find her. First I gotta have my communicator attached to me so I'm never without back-up!

And you should do that same! Er, miss...

[ no he hasn't caught on that this is England. ]

[hullonurse]

I would think you could avoid the problem by avoiding the ditch, quite frankly, but yes, keep the radio with you. I think I'll be fine, though.

[And she's not helping because he should be able to figure this out for himself, damnit]

[libertyfuckyeah]

It's really dangerous, though! This time I didn't even see it! The ground just crumbled under me! You could be next!

[ He's never going to figure it out. ]

[hullonurse]

I'm not nearly as clumsy as you! I'm not surprised you tumbled in!

[Well, he has to at least try. ]

[libertyfuckyeah]

[ Nope. She is now "Less Awesome Rosalyn" in his mind. ]

I'm not that clumsy!

[hullonurse]

[Get rid of the "Less" and change the last syllable there and he's close...]

You were trapped in a ditch for what must have been at least a fortnight.

[libertyfuckyeah]

It was steep and muddy and there wasn't anything to climb up!

[hullonurse]

It was a ditch! How deep could it have been?

[libertyfuckyeah]

Taller than me standing on England's shoulders.

[hullonurse]

... So he was stuck in there as well. [So far she is not hearing many good recommendations for Arthur.]

[libertyfuckyeah]

That's right! Could've been worse, I guess, but could've been better. England's too grouchy.

[hullonurse]

Does... Do things like that happen often to him?

[libertyfuckyeah]

You mean being grouchy? Yeah, he's a pretty prickly guy! He has his moments, but they're few and far between. Most of the time he acts like a crotchety old man who would rather embroider something than hang around me and go rope cattle or something fun!

[hullonurse]

Embroidery is a perfectly youthful hobby! What on Earth is fun about cattle?

[libertyfuckyeah]

No way! That's like, the complete opposite of youth culture! It's going to concerts and defying outdated traditions to move the world forward and keeping the spirit of revolution alive to inspire those behind the Iron Curtain to keep hope alive and caring about the environment and freeing your mind, man.

[ derp 1969. ]

And, in lieu of TV and all the cool stuff at home, cattle's plenty fun! You get to ride out on the trail, have some quiet time with just you and the stars, and there's never a moment of boredom because you've got lives you gotta look out for!