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The importance of leisure versus health; or why leisure and exercise must be blended
The last few years have been an immense exercise in restructuring ideas of self and reformulating boundary lines between my inner universe and the external world.
Suffice to say, it has been an upheaval. One of the biggest triumphs that comes to mind is when I managed to put myself on a regular exercise routine that involved biking to work for 45 ( Read more... ) -
I was.
I was so sad
I was so angry
I was nothing if we were not one.
I was only loved if we were all unloved
together.
I am rolling in trajectories
I am buoyed by my decisions
I am separate
yet I feel warmth and love
because I am.
I am not what I was
I am not what I will be,
not content nor derivative
I was sad and
I was lonely
I still remain sad
I ( Read more... ) -
On Narcissism
It started with a mundane chat with Charlit about narcissistic tendencies in people we know and how they center their emotions above all else.
But as it seems, these tendencies are far more insidious than I initially thought and pervasive in almost everyone I know, including me. It was interesting to think of narcissism on a spectrum, the ( Read more... ) -
On rejection and moving forward
So basically, the school does not want to pay for the plugin to make Kiku a max capacity beast.
Yesterday I experienced intense anxiety about the project and what it meant to me. I wondered if I would have to give it up. Tbh, I'm still not sure about pushing through with Kiku, but Chris is insistent that there is value, and while the teachers say ( Read more... ) -
State of things
As of right now, it has come to me that perhaps a large part of this ennui, sadness and isolation is boredom and lack of commitment to a place that doesn't want to commit to me. As such, I've been sitting on a plan re: going back to Canada and how that might best work out without me resorting to living in Toronto or worse, depending on my Mom again ( Read more... ) -
What did I do? To deserve this?
I just feel like I'm in a space where I don't want to be cogent about anything. I just want to lie back and let my eyeballs float within my skull while time and space slip past me.
I found myself googling "how do you know if you're having a depressive episode" today and I guess that's how I knew I was in a depressive episode. Frankly speaking, I ( Read more... ) -
Tried so hard and got so far.
Friends and all that,
I have come to a time in my life that has required the need for me to reflect on friendships and what that means for me. Since I graduated college (and through it, I suppose), I've developed a need to be with friends, not very different from how it was in India. Yet I now remember that that was when I felt most alone. I was ( Read more... ) -
Suddenly 2023.
Today I spent most of it pondering and researching talismanic imagery and symbolism in the East-West sphere. I drew a bunch and logged ideas into Obsidian in a neat little format. I think I may be on to something.
First, I need to actually sketch out the designs.
Later in the day, I started working on the audio scripts for Kiku and then got mired ( Read more... )