EMOTIONAL DISTRESS
I've been wanting to do a meme, but I can't find any that I like. Even my meme tag is full of shit. And I'd just like to say that memes that start with a prompt/question related to beginnings can eat my ass. So let me tell you about A RUDE ASS SPIDER.
This happened a couple weeks ago. It was a Saturday night, and because I usually find myself at the shelter on weekends, my night life~* on weekends is less exciting than my parents'. So I was home and just dicking around on the Internet as one who has to get up early often does, and I look up at one point from my computer. And I see it: a spider. On my ceiling. Above my bed. Now, I'm vegan, and I try to live my life as cruelty free as possible, but I draw the line at critters being near the place where I sleep. Also, this is the time of year when every bug in the vicinity wants to invade my apartment, and my home would be overrun quickly if I let them roam around freely. So I get up to the spider. But there are a few problems.
1). The spider is on the ceiling.
2). The spider is above my bed.
3). I am short, so even when standing on my bed, it's still difficult to reach the ceiling.
So first thing I do is move my bed so that if I am unable to kill the spider and it falls to the ground, it won't land on my bed. Unfortunately, the spider starts creeping in the direction I am moving the bed. After a certain point, I cannot move the bed any further, because walls are a thing, and the spider is STILL hovering over the mattress. So fine. This isn't ideal, but I tell myself I can do it. And it'll be okay, because I sort of needed the bed to stand on anyway. I grab a paper towel and prepare to rock that spider's world.
Now important details: I have dark blue sheets on my bed. Also, I have a shitty Ikea bed, which means that instead of a box spring, I have wooden slats that lay across the bed frame with a mattress on top. It actually makes for a really soft and cozy bed. However, the problem with these wooden slats is that they don't match the full width of the bed. So the slats often fall beneath the bedframe. It's a PAIN to deal with. But I'm cheap, so deal with it I shall.
So I stand up on the bed, careful as can be not to disturb the wooden slats. I reach up to kill the spider.... and just as my paper towel reaches the spider, the slats fall through! I sink into the mattress and barely avoided falling off the bed. And the spider? Well, the spider, alive and well, lands on the bed too. Now maybe if I had white sheets, I could see it immediately. But with dark blue sheets, I couldn't find it. And I looked, but I couldn't spot it. So I decide to take off the sheets (and once they're balled up on the floor, I was gonna jump on them in sneakers, because #hightech plan). Carefully I get rid of the sheets. And as soon as the sheets are on the ground, I see the spider crawling on a portion of the mattress pad, which is still on the mattress BTW... and immediately Spidey dips down behind the bed.
Great. I take the mattress off the bed. And I can't find the spider. I'm banging on the bedframe. I'm spraying bug spray everywhere. And I still can't find it. Eventually, I gave up and had to clean up my destroyed room, which I really did rip apart in the hopes of fucking this spider up. What a fun Saturday night!
This happened a couple weeks ago. It was a Saturday night, and because I usually find myself at the shelter on weekends, my night life~* on weekends is less exciting than my parents'. So I was home and just dicking around on the Internet as one who has to get up early often does, and I look up at one point from my computer. And I see it: a spider. On my ceiling. Above my bed. Now, I'm vegan, and I try to live my life as cruelty free as possible, but I draw the line at critters being near the place where I sleep. Also, this is the time of year when every bug in the vicinity wants to invade my apartment, and my home would be overrun quickly if I let them roam around freely. So I get up to the spider. But there are a few problems.
1). The spider is on the ceiling.
2). The spider is above my bed.
3). I am short, so even when standing on my bed, it's still difficult to reach the ceiling.
So first thing I do is move my bed so that if I am unable to kill the spider and it falls to the ground, it won't land on my bed. Unfortunately, the spider starts creeping in the direction I am moving the bed. After a certain point, I cannot move the bed any further, because walls are a thing, and the spider is STILL hovering over the mattress. So fine. This isn't ideal, but I tell myself I can do it. And it'll be okay, because I sort of needed the bed to stand on anyway. I grab a paper towel and prepare to rock that spider's world.
Now important details: I have dark blue sheets on my bed. Also, I have a shitty Ikea bed, which means that instead of a box spring, I have wooden slats that lay across the bed frame with a mattress on top. It actually makes for a really soft and cozy bed. However, the problem with these wooden slats is that they don't match the full width of the bed. So the slats often fall beneath the bedframe. It's a PAIN to deal with. But I'm cheap, so deal with it I shall.
So I stand up on the bed, careful as can be not to disturb the wooden slats. I reach up to kill the spider.... and just as my paper towel reaches the spider, the slats fall through! I sink into the mattress and barely avoided falling off the bed. And the spider? Well, the spider, alive and well, lands on the bed too. Now maybe if I had white sheets, I could see it immediately. But with dark blue sheets, I couldn't find it. And I looked, but I couldn't spot it. So I decide to take off the sheets (and once they're balled up on the floor, I was gonna jump on them in sneakers, because #hightech plan). Carefully I get rid of the sheets. And as soon as the sheets are on the ground, I see the spider crawling on a portion of the mattress pad, which is still on the mattress BTW... and immediately Spidey dips down behind the bed.
Great. I take the mattress off the bed. And I can't find the spider. I'm banging on the bedframe. I'm spraying bug spray everywhere. And I still can't find it. Eventually, I gave up and had to clean up my destroyed room, which I really did rip apart in the hopes of fucking this spider up. What a fun Saturday night!