(no subject)
the time has come, the walrus said
to speak of many things
of shoes - and ships - and sealing wax
of cabbages - and kings
and why the sea is boiling hot?
and whether pigs have wings.
and now, what you've all been waiting for (not)...
To this day I'm not quite sure where it all started. One minute it was nowhere to be found, and the next it had hit me from nowhere, just like Newton's apple. I was going to change the world! But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning.
I was born in a small family on a small island. Basically everything in my life was small, but not as small as I was, so from my perspective it was all quite large. I imagine that it'd be small from your perspective,though, dear insane reader, so I shall call it small for your convenience.
I would frolick about all day without a care in the world, until that fateful day. Of course, I didn't know that it was fateful at the time. To me it was just a day like any other. It's funny how nobody ever realizes important stuff like that until after the fact. It makes life ever so confusing, but I suppose that things like that wouldn't happen if life was meant to be comprehensible.
Anyways, on this fateful day I was running around like mad, engrossed in my daily exercise of tail-chasing, when a big, strange thing (that I later learned was called a net) fell down upon my head and swiped me up. At this point I lost all conciousness.
I later awoke to find myself in a large-small contraption that I later learned was called a cage, made out of what I later learned was called plexiglass, and there were many large-small faces peering down curiously at me.
These creatures (humans, as I was soon to learn) were the most hideous things that I had ever seen, and to this day I don't think that I've met their match in the ugliness department, except perhaps for those things known as bumblebees (you must understand that I see things through the eyes of a gecko, and so it is only quite natural for me to find them ugly). Truly aweful beasts these humans are, but some of them are quite alright once you take the time to get past the looks barrier and take the time to get to know them. I'm sure that they think they are really quite beautiful, though, poor delusional things.
So as these faces stared at me, they discussed me in a strange language that is now known to me as English, and which I would soon speak fluently under the most curious circumstances without a second thought. At the time I couldn't understand what they were saying, though, except for one phrase that was strangely familiar sounding.
The teenage girl walked in and tugged on one of the human's sleeve and spoke thus, "The bad news is that I have an uncurable form of cancer which shall kill me before the year's end, but the good news is that I just saved a lot of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!"
For some reason, I understood every word of this perfectly, and it sounded so familiar (though I could not place it for the life of me) that I reared up on my hind legs nad loudly and clearly proclaimed in perfect English, "Getting a bit ahead of ourselves, aren't we, dear. Technically that doesn't even exist yet, and I'm afraid that by the time that it does, your time will be gone."
Strange. I couldn't think of any reason at all for me to have just said that. But strangest of all was the fact that nobody seemed to think my little outburst odd in the slightest. They all just nodded, as if in agreement, and they gave the girl blank stares. Nobody seemed to find a talking gecko at all out of the ordinary.
The girl, on the other hand, didn't seem to understand anything that was going on, so in a fit of confusion she fled the room with tears in her eyes.
The whole room errupted into uncontrollable laughter at this point, making this the officially wierdest day of my life. It was a rather amusing situation, in the akward kind of way.
"She's got a point, you know," I announced to the people in the room through tears of laughter. "We could be rich and famous!"
And strangly, I now knew everything about the human world and I could speak English fluently, almost as if I was a human trapped in the body of a gecko, and I had just momentarily forgotten about it. But then all the memories of my geckoy past on my small-large island came flooding back to me, and I knew what had happened to me.
I was all some neuroscientist's idea of a sick joke. What a way to live. I briefly contemplated suicide, but I quickly decided against it. Instead I decided that I would overcome this obstacle to become the most famous gecko of all time. This was a goal that I knew I would accomplish, for the girl's careless remark had proven that to me, although how I knew this I knew not. All I knew at this point was that the joke was on them.
so...review...
is this even worth finishing? It's probably not. It's most likely just a piece of crap, but if you think I should finish it, then ideas for the future would be appreciated, cause I'm having trouble deciding where to go with it...and if it's really bad, just remember that I wrote it at like 2 am, so I probably wasn't thinking straight...
to speak of many things
of shoes - and ships - and sealing wax
of cabbages - and kings
and why the sea is boiling hot?
and whether pigs have wings.
and now, what you've all been waiting for (not)...
To this day I'm not quite sure where it all started. One minute it was nowhere to be found, and the next it had hit me from nowhere, just like Newton's apple. I was going to change the world! But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning.
I was born in a small family on a small island. Basically everything in my life was small, but not as small as I was, so from my perspective it was all quite large. I imagine that it'd be small from your perspective,though, dear insane reader, so I shall call it small for your convenience.
I would frolick about all day without a care in the world, until that fateful day. Of course, I didn't know that it was fateful at the time. To me it was just a day like any other. It's funny how nobody ever realizes important stuff like that until after the fact. It makes life ever so confusing, but I suppose that things like that wouldn't happen if life was meant to be comprehensible.
Anyways, on this fateful day I was running around like mad, engrossed in my daily exercise of tail-chasing, when a big, strange thing (that I later learned was called a net) fell down upon my head and swiped me up. At this point I lost all conciousness.
I later awoke to find myself in a large-small contraption that I later learned was called a cage, made out of what I later learned was called plexiglass, and there were many large-small faces peering down curiously at me.
These creatures (humans, as I was soon to learn) were the most hideous things that I had ever seen, and to this day I don't think that I've met their match in the ugliness department, except perhaps for those things known as bumblebees (you must understand that I see things through the eyes of a gecko, and so it is only quite natural for me to find them ugly). Truly aweful beasts these humans are, but some of them are quite alright once you take the time to get past the looks barrier and take the time to get to know them. I'm sure that they think they are really quite beautiful, though, poor delusional things.
So as these faces stared at me, they discussed me in a strange language that is now known to me as English, and which I would soon speak fluently under the most curious circumstances without a second thought. At the time I couldn't understand what they were saying, though, except for one phrase that was strangely familiar sounding.
The teenage girl walked in and tugged on one of the human's sleeve and spoke thus, "The bad news is that I have an uncurable form of cancer which shall kill me before the year's end, but the good news is that I just saved a lot of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!"
For some reason, I understood every word of this perfectly, and it sounded so familiar (though I could not place it for the life of me) that I reared up on my hind legs nad loudly and clearly proclaimed in perfect English, "Getting a bit ahead of ourselves, aren't we, dear. Technically that doesn't even exist yet, and I'm afraid that by the time that it does, your time will be gone."
Strange. I couldn't think of any reason at all for me to have just said that. But strangest of all was the fact that nobody seemed to think my little outburst odd in the slightest. They all just nodded, as if in agreement, and they gave the girl blank stares. Nobody seemed to find a talking gecko at all out of the ordinary.
The girl, on the other hand, didn't seem to understand anything that was going on, so in a fit of confusion she fled the room with tears in her eyes.
The whole room errupted into uncontrollable laughter at this point, making this the officially wierdest day of my life. It was a rather amusing situation, in the akward kind of way.
"She's got a point, you know," I announced to the people in the room through tears of laughter. "We could be rich and famous!"
And strangly, I now knew everything about the human world and I could speak English fluently, almost as if I was a human trapped in the body of a gecko, and I had just momentarily forgotten about it. But then all the memories of my geckoy past on my small-large island came flooding back to me, and I knew what had happened to me.
I was all some neuroscientist's idea of a sick joke. What a way to live. I briefly contemplated suicide, but I quickly decided against it. Instead I decided that I would overcome this obstacle to become the most famous gecko of all time. This was a goal that I knew I would accomplish, for the girl's careless remark had proven that to me, although how I knew this I knew not. All I knew at this point was that the joke was on them.
so...review...
is this even worth finishing? It's probably not. It's most likely just a piece of crap, but if you think I should finish it, then ideas for the future would be appreciated, cause I'm having trouble deciding where to go with it...and if it's really bad, just remember that I wrote it at like 2 am, so I probably wasn't thinking straight...