We don't really talk any more, but sometimes when Linger plays on my iPod, I think about you and remember how we travelled back from that university ski trip, you letting me rest my head on your shoulder, Linger playing on the radio. I sang along and continued to sing when it was over, and you said,

"Hey I think that song ended a while ago."

We ( Read more... )

"I love you."

It's probably something I've said too many times in my life where relationships are concerned. To all of my boyfriends; and 6/7 I probably thought I meant it.

The one time I knew I didn't was with Alan. We were lying on his bed, making out. It was my last day there, and he would be leaving soon. I knew I'd probably never see him again, ( Read more... )

I had a dream the other night about a boy I once knew, a brother of a friend. In my dream, he was young and innocent, as I knew him many many years ago. He had wrapped himself in a sleeping bag and hung from the ceiling of the room I was walking through. From a distance he looked like a bat. In my dream, he was smaller than he is in real life ( Read more... )

My mum worries about me. She calls me again and again.

"Why are you calling me so much?" I ask.

"Because you're alone and I worry about you. Why don't you come over?"

"I'm okay. I don't want to. I have a lot of things to do. Please don't call me again."

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't appreciate it. I do.

It's just that I don't know why you ( Read more... )

Day 5 of Vipassana meditation: I sat on the single bed in my tiny room, my back against the wall, a box of tissues in my lap, and sobbed. It wasn't the first time that I'd cried on the course, and it wouldn't be the last, but it was the hardest. Tears ran down my check and into my mouth and I swallowed them intermittently between chokes and sobs, ( Read more... )

The wedding photographer has put a photo of me up on his Facebook page.

I'm standing at the back during Mikey's wedding, looking genuinely pensive, presumably waiting for the bride to make her entrance. I hate the photo.

"And there's this awful picture of me from Mikey's wedding on the photographer's facebook page." I whine on the phone.

Perhaps ( Read more... )

 The world is crumbling around me, and I'm avoiding eye contact.

"Why don't you like me anymore?" I want to ask.

I'm meant to be working, but I'm not. It's boring. Instead, I'm thinking about what we were like some time ago.  It seems as though it wasn't that long ago, but it was. I wonder if he thinks about it sometimes, like I do. Probably not. He ( Read more... )

2.19am early morning after a night of lying awake in bed, insanely tired yet equally awake, I toyed with the idea of writing in my Livejournal again.  These nights weren't uncommon for me, I experienced them often, but something was different about this night. I wanted to do something different, something that wasn't work or Facebook stalking or ( Read more... )

"You're a great writer you should write more!" they said ( Read more... )

So we finally have a Krispy Kreme. It opened on Thursday morning at 6.30am, and crazy devotees (not us) camped outside the store all night, breathing in the sugary scent until they could finally buy them when the store opened ( Read more... )