Fic: 5 Times Ray Got Thumped..., green cortina, dakfinv
Title: 5 Times Ray Got Thumped and Probably Didn't Deserve It
Author: dak
Word Count: 385 words
Rating: green cortina
A/N: Another five things fic as requested here. (And I am still taking requests, if anyone's interested. These are too much fun!) This one's for
elfbert.
1.
Thump!
“Ow!”
“Ray! You alright?”
“What the bloody ‘ell was that?”
“Er, me. Sorry.”
“Chris, what’re yeh doin’ with a plank of wood?”
“Uhm, I’m helping the Boss reorganize the Collator’s.”
“What does he need the wood for?”
“You don’t want to know, Ray...You don’t want to know.”
“Well, watch where you’re swingin’ that. Div.”
“Wilco. D’you need ice or summat?”
“I ain’t no poofter. I can handle a bit o’ wood.”
“Er...right, Ray...See yeh at the pub...”
“Oi! That’s not what I meant. Chris!”
2.
Slap!
“You are the most ungrateful bastard I’ve ever laid me eyes on, Ray Carling!”
“But--”
“I am an educated girl.”
“Wilma...”
“I do not need a bloke like you--”
“Let me...”
Slap!
“Don’t you dare interrupt me when I’m talkin’!”
“Okay.”
Slap!
“I said okay!”
“If you can’t take the time to listen, I ain’t goin’ to bother explainin’.”
“Wait...”
“Goodbye, Ray.”
“Wilma, please...”
“And you can keep this.”
Slam!
“But I thought yeh liked pink!”
3.
Thud.
“No.”
Thud.
“No.”
Thud. Thud. Slap. Spit.
“Do whate’er you want. I ain’t tellin’ you owt.”
“You so sure, DS Carling?”
“Yeah.”
Thud. Slap. Smack. Crack.
“Absolutely?”
Thump. Smack.
“Hold it right there, you festering, little scumbags! We have you surrounded!”
“...abs’lut’ly...yeah...”
“Shit! Run!”
“...better...run...”
“Carling? Ray? It’s DI Tyler. The ambulance is on its way. Hang on.”
“...bastard...”
“He alright?”
“Don’t worry, Ray. We got him.”
“...meant...you...twonk...”
“He’ll be fine.”
4.
Smack!
“You’re a disgrace.”
Smack!
“You should be ashamed of yourself.”
Smack!
“You don’t deserve to be part of this family.”
Smack!
“It would have been better for us all, had you never been born.”
Smack!
“You understand me?”
“Whatever you say, Dad.”
5.
Thump!
“Hold...you’re...arrest!”
“...Carling? DS Carling? Can you hear me?”
“Yeah. Yeah. ‘M alright.”
“Let me help you sit up. Okay?”
“Said I were fine. Cheers.”
“Here, let me take a look at that.”
“Well, if you insist, Cartwright.”
“...Thank you.”
“For what?”
“You stepped in front of me when he swung the bat. You didn’t have to do that, sir.”
“Part of me job, innit? Protect me team an’ all that shite. Ow.”
“Sorry. Still. Thank you, Ray.”
“You’re welcome, Annie...But, you know you don’t have to thank me.”
“No?”
“ ’Stead, you could just lower your hands a bit...”
Slap!
“Ow!...You’re still welcome!”