Fic: 5 Presents Sam Bought For Gene, white cortina, dakfinv
Title: Five Presents Sam Bought For Gene
Author: dak
Word Count: 917 words
Rating: white cortina (I avoided all possible angst!)
Pairings: could be Sam/Gene if you choose to tilt your head that way; Sam/mobile
A/N: This is for
talkingtothesky
1.
Hunt stared at the object in his hands before raising his head, and glaring at Tyler.
“What is this?” he growled.
“I believe it’s a cookbook, Guv,” Sam grinned.
“And what was it doing on my desk, Tyler?” he gripped the offending item tightly as he waited for his response.
“Well, sir, you were complaining the other day on how Mrs. Hunt always cooked you the same meals every day, and how you were interested, albeit slightly, in trying something new,” Sam answered, his posture straight and his hands held behind his back.
“DI Tyler, you are aware that the Mrs. Hunt is away at her mother’s. Indefinitely,” Gene reminded him.
“Yes, Guv,” Sam nodded.
“So, allow me to rephrase the question: what the bloody hell is this doing on my desk?”
“You should look at page twenty-seven. There’s an excellent recipe for spaghetti bolognese that I’ve marked at for you,” Sam smiled and turned on his heel.
“Take this book back where you found it, Tyler!” Gene shouted after him.
“Learn to pick up a pan, Hunt!” Sam shouted back.
2.
Hunt stared at the object in his hands before raising his head, and glaring at Tyler.
“What is this?” he growled.
“It’s a Beta Max,” Sam grinned.
“And what was it doing in my sitting room, Tyler?” he asked, staring at the confusing item in his hands.
“You hook it up to the telly, set the timer, and it’ll record your shows for you,” Sam was bouncing on his heels.
“It takes shows off the television?”
“Sort of. It saves them, so that you can play them back and watch them later, like the cassette recorder we use for interviews.”
“And I want this because?” Gene sighed.
“Well, sir, you’re always complaining about missing the match or Doctor Who--”
“Oi! I told you that was ‘tween us,” Gene warned.
“Now you can use the Beta Max and stop whinging. It’s not as a good as VHS. But that won’t be out for another few years yet. It’s much better, but it will be expensive. If we start saving now, though, we should have enough by the time they’re released,” Sam rambled.
“Whatever you say, Tyler,” Gene shoved the thing into Sam’s hands. “You’re the technically guru ‘round here. You deal with it, then.”
“Yes, Guv. And you will like it. I promise. Oh, and just wait until DVRs...”
3.
Hunt stared at the object in his hands before raising his head, and glaring at Tyler.
“What is it?” he growled.
“It’s a kitten,” Sam grinned.
“And what was it doing in my kitchen, Tyler?” he struggled to hold the squirming, mewing ball of fluff.
“Well, sir, you were saying how empty the house felt lately. Since you’re too busy to take care of a dog, I thought a cat might suit you better. I mean, they’re solitary creatures who only occasionally want attention. They’ll eat almost whatever you feed them, and when they’re not eating they’re usually sleeping. I thought you’d get along well,” Sam explained.
“Don’t they need them dirt boxes and whatnot?” Gene asked. Sam grabbed a large shopping bag from around the corner.
“Already got that all sorted, Guv,” Sam smiled. The cat meowed.
“You get it set up,” Gene ordered him and dropped the cat, gently, on the kitchen table. “And if it even thinks of pissing on me armchair, it’ll be out on the street faster than a prozzie with a unpaid pimp.”
“Understood, Guv,” Sam nodded and scooped the ginger tabby off the table. “C’mon, Kenilworth. Let’s get you set up.”
4.
Hunt stared at the object in his hands before raising his head, and glaring at Tyler.
“What is it?” he growled.
“They’re keys,” Sam grinned.
“And what were they doing in me coat pocket, Tyler?” he tossed the small objects around in his hands.
“Well, I thought you might use them to drive the new Audi Quattro that’s--” Sam was cut off as a large mass surrounded him, cutting off his air supply. “Guv...Gene...” he gasped out.
“Yes, Tyler?” he replied, not letting go.
“You’re...hugging me.”
“That I am.”
“In a public space.”
“That I am,” Gene pat him on the back and let him go. “So, Dorothy, care for a spin?” he grinned wickedly.
“I hope you’re referring to the car,” Sam adjusted his clothes as he followed his Guv outside.
5.
Hunt stared at the object in his hands before raising his head, and glaring at Tyler.
“What is it?” he growled.
“It’s, it’s a mobile,” Sam grinned.
“And what was it doing in me car?” he stared at glorified radio.
“It’s the earliest, affordable model there is. Sure, it’s huge now. But wait, just wait Gene. In a few years, it’ll be small enough to fit in your pocket. And then, then they’ll have different ringtones, picture, video, and internet capabilities. They’ll even play music, and later, touch screens!” Sam was bouncing anxiously.
“Tyler, did you just wet yourself?”
“Er, no, Guv,” Sam quickly composed himself. “So, do you like it?”
“Sam, I think it’s the most useless thing you’ve ever bought me,” Gene sighed.
“Well, if you don’t want it,” Sam eagerly reached out, attempting to reclaim the item. Gene slapped his hands away.
“But I’m sure I’ll find summat worthwhile to do with it,” he grinned suspiciously, and started to walk away. Sam ran after him.
“Gene? Gene, wait. What are you going to do with it? Don’t hurt it, Gene!”