Fic: Bushwhacked, white cortina, dakfinv
Title: Bushwhacked
Word Count: 269
Rating: White Cortina
Summary: Ray. Chris. A badger.
A/N: For
liquorishflame's birthday challenge.
“Just shoot it.”
“I can’t do that! ‘Sides, I don’t ‘ave a gun. An’ there’s all that paperwork for signin’ one out...”
“Alright. Stop whining you div. Get the Guv to do it. Sure ‘e wouldn’t ‘ave a problem with it.”
“I don’t want to hurt ‘im Ray!”
“ ‘Ow d’yeh know it’s a him? Don’t tell me you named the little bastard.”
“...”
“Bloody ‘ell, Chris. ‘S just a stupid badger.”
“ ‘E’s never caused me any trouble but ‘e keeps diggin’ up me mum’s garden. Just help me catch ‘im an’ move ‘im, alright?”
“Fine. But you owe me a pint. Give me the bag.”
“Be gentle with ‘im Ray.”
“...”
“Right. There! There ‘e is!”
“Keep your voice down. You want to scare ‘im off?”
“Sorry.”
“Go over that side. We’ll corner ‘im.”
“Easy, easy, Bruce. We don’ wan’ ta hurt yeh.”
“Bruce?”
“Bruce Banner.”
“Why din’t you just call ‘im the Hulk?”
“Bruce Banner the Badger sounds better than Hulk the Badger, don’t it? Quick there ‘e goes!”
“After ‘im!”
“Over ‘ere!”
“Wait!”
“Ow!”
“Ha! Now I’ve--”
“Ray! Look out for that--”
Crash.
“--shed.”
--------
“Morning Chris.”
“Morning DI Tyler.”
“And good morning to you DS...How did you get that bruise?”
“Ray went a few rounds with Bruce yesterday out near me mum’s garden shed.”
“Oh. So that’s your boyfriend’s name. Now I know who to address the Christmas card to.”
Thump.
“Mornin’ all...Hm. Told yeh you shouldn’t get mouthy ‘fore noon, Tyler. Now pick your arse off me floor an’ go catch me some criminals, okay?”
“Or badgers.”
“What’d you say Skelton?”
“Nothin’ Guv.”
Word Count: 269
Rating: White Cortina
Summary: Ray. Chris. A badger.
A/N: For
liquorishflame's birthday challenge.
“Just shoot it.”
“I can’t do that! ‘Sides, I don’t ‘ave a gun. An’ there’s all that paperwork for signin’ one out...”
“Alright. Stop whining you div. Get the Guv to do it. Sure ‘e wouldn’t ‘ave a problem with it.”
“I don’t want to hurt ‘im Ray!”
“ ‘Ow d’yeh know it’s a him? Don’t tell me you named the little bastard.”
“...”
“Bloody ‘ell, Chris. ‘S just a stupid badger.”
“ ‘E’s never caused me any trouble but ‘e keeps diggin’ up me mum’s garden. Just help me catch ‘im an’ move ‘im, alright?”
“Fine. But you owe me a pint. Give me the bag.”
“Be gentle with ‘im Ray.”
“...”
“Right. There! There ‘e is!”
“Keep your voice down. You want to scare ‘im off?”
“Sorry.”
“Go over that side. We’ll corner ‘im.”
“Easy, easy, Bruce. We don’ wan’ ta hurt yeh.”
“Bruce?”
“Bruce Banner.”
“Why din’t you just call ‘im the Hulk?”
“Bruce Banner the Badger sounds better than Hulk the Badger, don’t it? Quick there ‘e goes!”
“After ‘im!”
“Over ‘ere!”
“Wait!”
“Ow!”
“Ha! Now I’ve--”
“Ray! Look out for that--”
Crash.
“--shed.”
--------
“Morning Chris.”
“Morning DI Tyler.”
“And good morning to you DS...How did you get that bruise?”
“Ray went a few rounds with Bruce yesterday out near me mum’s garden shed.”
“Oh. So that’s your boyfriend’s name. Now I know who to address the Christmas card to.”
Thump.
“Mornin’ all...Hm. Told yeh you shouldn’t get mouthy ‘fore noon, Tyler. Now pick your arse off me floor an’ go catch me some criminals, okay?”
“Or badgers.”
“What’d you say Skelton?”
“Nothin’ Guv.”