Untitled.
I'm not really sure what's wrong with me. Maybe it's the meds. Maybe it's life. Maybe it's my lack of sleep working its way into my brain. I won't say this isn't for attention...because in a way, it is. I don't normally ask for help. Too proud. But this time...if someone doesn't help...I'm not sure what will happen. Lately I've been having these crazy fucking feelings. Every little thing that goes wrong in my life makes me want to step out in front of a bus. This isn't like me. Sometimes I stare down the stairs and wonder, if I would fall down them, would I live? It makes me sick to my stomach to say this out loud. I just...want to not exist anymore. I can't bring myself to type out "I want to die" and mean it. I don't think I want to kill myself. But often I find myself wishing something would randomly happen to me. I can't write about this anymore. Anyone on here had these kinds of feelings? What do you do to cope? Please don't send me a 1-800 number or direct me to a hospital. You know that isn't going to happen. I need to work through this on my own.