December 27th - night
Dom and Elijah argue about Orlando and each other. Then Dom decides to pay Lij a friendly little visit.
ImAfraidofDuckys: so lij, am i only good for a laugh?
music obsessed81: No. I'm sure you're not.
ImAfraidofDuckys: ah, the brilliant certainty there.
music obsessed81: You're not just good for a laugh. You mean a lot more to others then just that.
ImAfraidofDuckys: i'm sure
music obsessed81: Dude, you asked
ImAfraidofDuckys: right
ImAfraidofDuckys: my fault, always fuckin'; my fault, right?
music obsessed81: Dom, what the fuck is wrong with you?
ImAfraidofDuckys: apparently a whole fucking lot
ImAfraidofDuckys: i mean, why else would people avoid me until they needed a laugh or something or hell, even my own boyfriend doesn't talk to me until he wants sex.
music obsessed81: That's not true.
ImAfraidofDuckys: my christmas present was sex! that's all there fucking is to us now apparently
music obsessed81: What, you don't want sex from your boyfriend?
ImAfraidofDuckys: i do but sorry, relationships are not just fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
music obsessed81: I know that, but he cares about you. He thinks you're treating him like shit and that you don't care about him at all.
ImAfraidofDuckys: what the fuck?
ImAfraidofDuckys: i left my fucking family one night -- the first fucking night they were all here!! -- to go over to his place, to take care of his back and stay the night with him because he wasn't in the best of moods. yeah, right.. i don't care about him. whatever.
ImAfraidofDuckys: hell, only times he talks to me is when he needs a massage or wants sex
music obsessed81: What happened recently between you two? With your journal and shit?
ImAfraidofDuckys: what?
ImAfraidofDuckys: i updated my journal. no big fucking deal.
ImAfraidofDuckys: this is why i prefer to write in the paper ones, no one gives me shit at all for what i write. i missed people, god forbid i miss the dead and my ex-fiance! they were all major parts of my life and now they're gone for good. i miss them. what the fuck is so bad about that?
music obsessed81: Nothing, that's perfectly understandable.
ImAfraidofDuckys: then why the fuck is everyone on my case for it?
music obsessed81: It's the new one!
music obsessed81: Orlando is scared, Dom.
music obsessed81: He doesn't want to loose you.
music obsessed81: But you two can't talk at all with out getting into a goddamn fight. Even over the computer!
ImAfraidofDuckys: i was drunk, he wanted to be mentioned so i mentioned him. woo.
music obsessed81: Why can't you just try talking to him face-to-face? Without getting piss drunk before hand.
ImAfraidofDuckys: i wasn't piss drunk this afternoon
music obsessed81(: Well you got drunk because of all this shit between you two, and obviously it's still effecting you if you still can't calm down and talk to him.
ImAfraidofDuckys: look, i love him. alright? i fucking love him and would drop anything and everything to be with him for even a little while.
music obsessed81: Then why aren't you?!
ImAfraidofDuckys: but no, all i get out of him is sex. i try to share space, and he wants just sex. i told him i didn't want to take that step to being boyfriends if it'd fuck things up but he told me no, nothing to worry about. we'd be fine and just us together. well it's not fucking fine!
ImAfraidofDuckys: because he doesn't want me around!
music obsessed81: I fucking went to him last night when you were out with your brother! He was so hurt with whatever you did or said. He doesn't want to loose you! He still loves you and is afraid of abandonment from you!
ImAfraidofDuckys: you know why i went out with matt last night? because i was trying to talk to him and he shut me out. so fine, rather than sit around and sob all night, i thought that i might try to make something of it. have some fun.
ImAfraidofDuckys: and you know what? i had fun again today! fun fun bloody fun!
music obsessed81: Are you going to do it again tonight?
ImAfraidofDuckys: why the fuck not? not like i've got work in the morning.
ImAfraidofDuckys: dad even said he'd come along.
ImAfraidofDuckys: not like i've got anywhere else to go or anything better to do
music obsessed81: Goddammit, Dom!
ImAfraidofDuckys: what?
music obsessed81: Everything!
ImAfraidofDuckys: everyone is fucking pissed at me, why should i go to them?
music obsessed81: All this little shit is pissing me off! I'm taking care of your bloody boyfriend becuase, to me, you're doing fuck-squat help your relationship yourself!
ImAfraidofDuckys: who'd want a pathetic stoned drunk around anyways
music obsessed81: Well maybe if you stopped!
ImAfraidofDuckys: like things would be any better, at least this way i can look in a fucking mirror and get through a day smiling.
ImAfraidofDuckys: you know what? fuck it. i don't need to be screamed at by some punk american kid. i'm going out again.
music obsessed81: What if it was Orlando screaming at you saying all this? Trying to reason with you. Would you go out then?
ImAfraidofDuckys: he wouldn';t reason with me on a computer so pointless question
music obsessed81: Then stop getting drunk and stoned, go over to his place and talk to him!
music obsessed81: Fuck, I'll get the both of you together if I have to!
ImAfraidofDuckys: he's probably passed out
ImAfraidofDuckys: give me a couple of hours and i'll be passed out too
music obsessed81: Fine! Go out, get drunk! I can't stand this anymore. And if I don't see you in a couple of days, instead of looking for you I'll take Orlando because he'll probably OD on his drugs again because you're gone if I don't show up!
ImAfraidofDuckys: sean leaves so you go for mine, is that it?
music obsessed81: Well if you're not going to take care of him, maybe I will. I don't want to, but if it comes down to that, sure. Why not? Better then being completely alone.
ImAfraidofDuckys: fuck you
ImAfraidofDuckys: lame excuse of a best friend, lij. real fuckin' lame.
music obsessed81: I'm trying to be a good friend!
music obsessed81: I'm trying to help!
ImAfraidofDuckys: you're failing
music obsessed81: I've been trying to help!
music obsessed81: You know I would do anything for you and Orli
ImAfraidofDuckys: screaming at me is not help!
music obsessed81: What the fuck do you want me to do then!
ImAfraidofDuckys: try to be an actual friend
music obsessed81: I ask that all the bloody time and you just come back saying"there's nothing you can do"
ImAfraidofDuckys: but no, you're too busy running to my boyfriend
ImAfraidofDuckys: but apparently i'm just the worse fucking person to even attempt a relationship
ImAfraidofDuckys: everyone always leaves me, gets mad at me and runs off from me anyways
music obsessed81: I went to him because I told my family I was bi and my mom flipped out! Sean's gone so I had nowhere to go. You were out getting druck so I thought "Hell, may as well go to Orli." And that's when I started finding out about all this
music obsessed81: I'm not trying to take him from you
music obsessed81: I don't want to do that because I know both of you still love each other.
ImAfraidofDuckys: apparently he doesn't know that
music obsessed81: Yes he does. He still loves you and I told him that you loved him back.
music obsessed81: You're just the one having trouble opening up to him.
music obsessed81: You're afraid because of you ex.
ImAfraidofDuckys: no i'm not
ImAfraidofDuckys: i've opened up, i've told him, i've come clean
ImAfraidofDuckys: i take fucking care of him! i go out of my way to make sure his back is okay, i help him as much as i can when it's actually hurt but no, apparently i treat him like shit.
ImAfraidofDuckys: so fine
music obsessed81: You keep talking in the past about helping him! So why was I there last night helping him?
ImAfraidofDuckys: because he left
ImAfraidofDuckys: what do you think i spent christmas day doing? i spent it taking care of him. i did every fucking thing possible for him, even had christmas in bed along with everything else in bed because he hurt his back.
ImAfraidofDuckys: yeah, yesterday. real fucking long time ago. i don't live with him. i'm not with him 24/7.
ImAfraidofDuckys: and you know what? some of us aren't so lucky to have never had our hearts flat out broken, and some of us aren't lucky enough not to be able to get attached fully to someone. some of us have had our hearts broken routinely and severely so i'm so fucking sorry that i'm uneasy in a relationship because i don't want to get hurt again when the wounds haven't even closed from the alst one and i don't want to hurt someone else.
ImAfraidofDuckys: if she'd fucked me up that bad, i would have never even persued something with him, but i have and i am. and i love him and it keeps me up at night routinely because i am so fucking afraid that he's going to find someone better than me. look at me, i'm a horrible fucking person. ugly to boto and just flat out weird. there's a whole island of guys better than me and he works with some of the best.
music obsessed81: but he wants you. He chose you out of everyone else
ImAfraidofDuckys: i'm sure he regrets it
music obsessed81: If he did, be probably would have left you by now.
ImAfraidofDuckys: thanks for the vote of confidence
music obsessed81: I'm trying to show that he still likes you because he hasn't
ImAfraidofDuckys: wishful thinking on your part i'm sure
music obsessed81: Look, I'm obviously doing a lousy job at trying to be your friend. But you know I would do anything, anything for the two of you.
ImAfraidofDuckys: right
music obsessed81: I would.
ImAfraidofDuckys: right
music obsessed81: I'm serious! I did for Orli last night.
ImAfraidofDuckys: because you're jsut so much better than me
music obsessed81: It's because I care
ImAfraidofDuckys: which i obviously don't, right?
ImAfraidofDuckys: i'm just this selfish prick who has never done a single fucking thing for anyone else, especially his boyfriend
ImAfraidofDuckys: right, now that it's been established how much greater elijah is than dom.. i think i'll go see if i can out drink that banana bender tonight.
music obsessed81: I'm not trying to be better then you!
ImAfraidofDuckys: BUT YOU ARE
ImAfraidofDuckys: so enjoy it
ImAfraidofDuckys: gloat
ImAfraidofDuckys: do whatever the fuck and then you can come back afterwards and rub it in my face again
music obsessed81: I don't want to be better then you. I don't want Orli to think I'd be a better boyfriend and come to me.
music obsessed81: I'm just trying to make the two of you happy
ImAfraidofDuckys: so you show him how much better than me you are
ImAfraidofDuckys: gee, thanks
music obsessed81: I'm not trying to!
music obsessed81: I'm trying to make him feel better and not kill himself over you!
ImAfraidofDuckys: well glad that someone'll be so fucking fine
music obsessed81: He's not fine though
ImAfraidofDuckys: and neither am i
music obsessed81: So the three of us are living our lives as depressing piles of shit. Hey, look at that, we all have something in common, right now.
ImAfraidofDuckys: woo fucking hoo
ImAfraidofDuckys: now, i'm really sick of being yelled at so unless you have anything else to tell me, i'm going
music obsessed81: Fine, you know what..
music obsessed81: I told you I would do anything for you and Orlando. And I did. I fucking kissed him to try and make him feel better!
ImAfraidofDuckys: like i said, lame fucking excuse of a best friend, lij
ImAfraidofDuckys: go tig yourself. how about that. i'm going.
music obsessed81: Fine, go! And that's a really shitty comeback "go tig yourself"? Talking to a Brit like you I know you could do better but that's just sad.
ImAfraidofDuckys: go piss up a rope, kid
music obsessed81: Much better. Now fuck off and get yourself drunk.
ImAfraidofDuckys: *Dom had shut off the computer, finished what drink he had and left the house. He'd already called a cab so he had it drop him off down the block from Elijah's house. No, not pulling up right outside of it. Car doors make noise and draw attention. None of that, not this time. Dom walked right up to the front door, stooping down to smear dirt over the peep hole to make it worthless before knocking at the door a few times.*
music obsessed81: *Lij heard the knocks and looked at the clock, wondering who would come to his house at this time. He went to the door and looked through the peephole, but couldn't see anything and he opened the door confused. His face instantly turned to shock seeing the Brit standing infront of him. "Dom?"
ImAfraidofDuckys: *Dom didn't even say a word. Not a single word. He shifted his stance briefly to get his left leg forward and lean back a bit before he moved forward a step with his weight and strength into it. And he let his fist fly right at Elijah's left cheek with every hope and intention of knocking the younger man flat out on his ass.*
music obsessed81: *Elijah flipped and immediately fell to the ground, holding his face. He groaned and turned to looked up at Dom, holding his hand over his mouth as he started bleeding.* "Dom, you fuckin cunt!"
ImAfraidofDuckys: "Like you've got a fucking bit of room to talk," *Dom snarled down at the other man, a sneer contorting his face for a moment before he turned to walk down the steps to Lij's front door and onto the yard. He'd walk to a bar, he didn't care. He had to hit Lij first.*
music obsessed81: *Lij managed to stand up and chased after him, slamming his hands at Dom's shoulderblades, pushing him forward and shouting nearly at the top of his lungs.* "What the FUCKING HELL is wrong with you!?"
ImAfraidofDuckys: *Dom staggered forward before he turned around and bent over some before tackling Lij with his shoulder set square against his ribs and arms around his torso. And he just kept going in hopes of driving them both to the ground.* Wrong with me? I don't go around kissing other men's boyfriends! Especially my best mates boyfriend!
music obsessed81: *Lij stumbled back and groaned again slamming into the ground. He squirmed trying to get out from under Dom.* "I'm sorry, okay?!"
ImAfraidofDuckys: *Dom sat up just enough to swing again, aiming for the same spot again essentially. Hey, he was right handed!* "The fuck you are! You've always wanted Orlando! He's always who you wanted to fuck and be fucked by, but he picked me and you saw a chance and you took it!"
music obsessed81: *Tears started streaming down Elijah's face from the second punch, and by what he had said. He kept his face in the grass for a moment before spitting out the blood that pooled in his mouth and turned carefully back to face him. He glared up at him, angry and hurt by his words, then reached up and pushed his shoulders.* "Get the hell off of me!"
ImAfraidofDuckys: "Fine, not like I'd ever get on you now, fuckin' arse," *Dom muttered under his breath, getting up with a less than hard kick to his friend's leg, right on the outside of his thigh. Dom could've kicked a lot harder and done damage, but this was more for emphasis.*
music obsessed81: *Lij rolled over and got himself weakly to his feet and wiped off his mouth again.* "So what if it's true! So what if I've always wanted him? But I didn't want to kiss him! I thought of you and Sean the entire time, and I knew it was wrong!! I regret ever doing it! I'm sorry..."
ImAfraidofDuckys: "Yeah, I'm real sure of that. And don't be cryin' or upset, just gave you a free chance to prove just how much better you are than me again, con-fuckin'-grats. You can say you bore witness to me bollocks'ing up the whole fucking thing!" *Dom all but practically was yelling by the end of all he said, gesturing wildly and emphatically.*
music obsessed81: *Elijah snarled at him and charged for him, wrapping his arm around the man's waist to tackle him to the ground, he also managed to stick a foot behind one of Dom's to trip him and give him an advantage.*
ImAfraidofDuckys: *Dom grunted on impact but simply brought his elbow down on top of the back of Lij's head the best he could. He was going to fight dirty if this was going to turn into a scrapper match. He'd been in enough brawls to know how to hold his own.*
music obsessed81: *He let go instantly and fell aside, landing on his knees and one hand, holding the other on his head. Again he managed to climb to his feet, but he shook his head a little, getting dizzy and disoriented.* "You think you're the one who's fucked up?! I grew up without a father, I'm the fucking Yank living in a place who hates American's and sorrounded by British bastards! I'm the one who's trying to keep the peace and making everyone happy and fucking everything up twice over!"
ImAfraidofDuckys: "And I grew up without a fucking home!" Dom shouted back. "Every three years it was 'alright, forget that life, moving on!' and sometimes not even that bloody long! I can't even tell you all of the places I've lived anymore! So you scream at me about not opening up, well I'm fucking sorry but I act the way I do because it's the only fucking way I've ever known to survive in a new place with new people!" *Dom was furious, but he stayed on the ground, propped up slightly.* "And for your information, it's the fucking French that hate you, not the blasted kiwis."
music obsessed81: *Elijah said nothing and lowered his head, covering his eyes with a hand feeling really dizzy. He looked down at him and took a half step back. He knew there was no match against Dom and he shouldn't have tackled him knowing that.* "I'm sorry, Dominic.. For everything. There's nothing I can do or say to fix any of this, so I may as well lock myself in my room and completely keep away from you and Orlando and all the problems between you two. Because I try to take a step forward, but something always happens and a fall three back."
ImAfraidofDuckys: "Yeah, just this time it was my fist." *Dom muttered under his breath before getting up. He walked right up to Elijah, face inches away from his friend's and he held to the front of his shirt to make sure he didn't run off.* None of us have had an easy fuckin' childhood and know what, coming out never is sunshine and roses. I had the good fortune to be at Catholic school when I said it at least. But this time, these problems.. you know what, I'm starting to wonder if they can be fixed. I do all I bloody can for him and wear my heart on my sleeve for him and then he runs around saying I don't care for him? Fuck that. He got pissed because I didn't mention him in a journal but know what? I didn't say a thing because I did not want my only thing said about Orlando to be about how he and I have sex. I think worlds more of him than just a fuck-buddy and refuse to treat him, think of him, and talk of him in such a degrading manner. But Hell, if it's what he wants, then I'll do what he wants because God knows at this point I'll wax my ass and shove a snake up it if it'd make him happy and keep him around because I'm getting fucking desperate." *Dom shoved himself away from Elijah a bit, starting backwards a few steps.* "Ya know, I appreciate the help but next time? Hear it all before yelling at me. Stoned and drunk or not, I still know I love him and I'm painfully fuckin' aware of my mistakes."
music obsessed81: *Elijah tried to step back again as he came closer, but froze when he grabbed his shirt and stared into Dom's eyes with a snarl. He listened carefully and took all his words in, never arguing back at him. He stepped back when Dom shoved off and he waited a minute before finally talking.* "What do you want me to say? I can't apologize, I've done it too many times already.."
ImAfraidofDuckys: "So then don't fuckin' apologize. Just go inside and ice your cheek." *Dom said, voice rather cold. He was keeping his back turned to Elijah now, too. He was trying not to show any emotion.*
music obsessed81: *Tears were still rolling down Elijah's cheeks and he breathed heavily to try and calm himself down. Slowly he walked back to the house and stood in the doorframe, looking back at Dom.* "I still love you, Dom." *He called out, and closed the door. He rested his back against it and stared up at the ceiling before sliding down and curling himself in a ball against the door, burying his face in his arms and legs.*
ImAfraidofDuckys: so lij, am i only good for a laugh?
music obsessed81: No. I'm sure you're not.
ImAfraidofDuckys: ah, the brilliant certainty there.
music obsessed81: You're not just good for a laugh. You mean a lot more to others then just that.
ImAfraidofDuckys: i'm sure
music obsessed81: Dude, you asked
ImAfraidofDuckys: right
ImAfraidofDuckys: my fault, always fuckin'; my fault, right?
music obsessed81: Dom, what the fuck is wrong with you?
ImAfraidofDuckys: apparently a whole fucking lot
ImAfraidofDuckys: i mean, why else would people avoid me until they needed a laugh or something or hell, even my own boyfriend doesn't talk to me until he wants sex.
music obsessed81: That's not true.
ImAfraidofDuckys: my christmas present was sex! that's all there fucking is to us now apparently
music obsessed81: What, you don't want sex from your boyfriend?
ImAfraidofDuckys: i do but sorry, relationships are not just fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
music obsessed81: I know that, but he cares about you. He thinks you're treating him like shit and that you don't care about him at all.
ImAfraidofDuckys: what the fuck?
ImAfraidofDuckys: i left my fucking family one night -- the first fucking night they were all here!! -- to go over to his place, to take care of his back and stay the night with him because he wasn't in the best of moods. yeah, right.. i don't care about him. whatever.
ImAfraidofDuckys: hell, only times he talks to me is when he needs a massage or wants sex
music obsessed81: What happened recently between you two? With your journal and shit?
ImAfraidofDuckys: what?
ImAfraidofDuckys: i updated my journal. no big fucking deal.
ImAfraidofDuckys: this is why i prefer to write in the paper ones, no one gives me shit at all for what i write. i missed people, god forbid i miss the dead and my ex-fiance! they were all major parts of my life and now they're gone for good. i miss them. what the fuck is so bad about that?
music obsessed81: Nothing, that's perfectly understandable.
ImAfraidofDuckys: then why the fuck is everyone on my case for it?
music obsessed81: It's the new one!
music obsessed81: Orlando is scared, Dom.
music obsessed81: He doesn't want to loose you.
music obsessed81: But you two can't talk at all with out getting into a goddamn fight. Even over the computer!
ImAfraidofDuckys: i was drunk, he wanted to be mentioned so i mentioned him. woo.
music obsessed81: Why can't you just try talking to him face-to-face? Without getting piss drunk before hand.
ImAfraidofDuckys: i wasn't piss drunk this afternoon
music obsessed81(: Well you got drunk because of all this shit between you two, and obviously it's still effecting you if you still can't calm down and talk to him.
ImAfraidofDuckys: look, i love him. alright? i fucking love him and would drop anything and everything to be with him for even a little while.
music obsessed81: Then why aren't you?!
ImAfraidofDuckys: but no, all i get out of him is sex. i try to share space, and he wants just sex. i told him i didn't want to take that step to being boyfriends if it'd fuck things up but he told me no, nothing to worry about. we'd be fine and just us together. well it's not fucking fine!
ImAfraidofDuckys: because he doesn't want me around!
music obsessed81: I fucking went to him last night when you were out with your brother! He was so hurt with whatever you did or said. He doesn't want to loose you! He still loves you and is afraid of abandonment from you!
ImAfraidofDuckys: you know why i went out with matt last night? because i was trying to talk to him and he shut me out. so fine, rather than sit around and sob all night, i thought that i might try to make something of it. have some fun.
ImAfraidofDuckys: and you know what? i had fun again today! fun fun bloody fun!
music obsessed81: Are you going to do it again tonight?
ImAfraidofDuckys: why the fuck not? not like i've got work in the morning.
ImAfraidofDuckys: dad even said he'd come along.
ImAfraidofDuckys: not like i've got anywhere else to go or anything better to do
music obsessed81: Goddammit, Dom!
ImAfraidofDuckys: what?
music obsessed81: Everything!
ImAfraidofDuckys: everyone is fucking pissed at me, why should i go to them?
music obsessed81: All this little shit is pissing me off! I'm taking care of your bloody boyfriend becuase, to me, you're doing fuck-squat help your relationship yourself!
ImAfraidofDuckys: who'd want a pathetic stoned drunk around anyways
music obsessed81: Well maybe if you stopped!
ImAfraidofDuckys: like things would be any better, at least this way i can look in a fucking mirror and get through a day smiling.
ImAfraidofDuckys: you know what? fuck it. i don't need to be screamed at by some punk american kid. i'm going out again.
music obsessed81: What if it was Orlando screaming at you saying all this? Trying to reason with you. Would you go out then?
ImAfraidofDuckys: he wouldn';t reason with me on a computer so pointless question
music obsessed81: Then stop getting drunk and stoned, go over to his place and talk to him!
music obsessed81: Fuck, I'll get the both of you together if I have to!
ImAfraidofDuckys: he's probably passed out
ImAfraidofDuckys: give me a couple of hours and i'll be passed out too
music obsessed81: Fine! Go out, get drunk! I can't stand this anymore. And if I don't see you in a couple of days, instead of looking for you I'll take Orlando because he'll probably OD on his drugs again because you're gone if I don't show up!
ImAfraidofDuckys: sean leaves so you go for mine, is that it?
music obsessed81: Well if you're not going to take care of him, maybe I will. I don't want to, but if it comes down to that, sure. Why not? Better then being completely alone.
ImAfraidofDuckys: fuck you
ImAfraidofDuckys: lame excuse of a best friend, lij. real fuckin' lame.
music obsessed81: I'm trying to be a good friend!
music obsessed81: I'm trying to help!
ImAfraidofDuckys: you're failing
music obsessed81: I've been trying to help!
music obsessed81: You know I would do anything for you and Orli
ImAfraidofDuckys: screaming at me is not help!
music obsessed81: What the fuck do you want me to do then!
ImAfraidofDuckys: try to be an actual friend
music obsessed81: I ask that all the bloody time and you just come back saying"there's nothing you can do"
ImAfraidofDuckys: but no, you're too busy running to my boyfriend
ImAfraidofDuckys: but apparently i'm just the worse fucking person to even attempt a relationship
ImAfraidofDuckys: everyone always leaves me, gets mad at me and runs off from me anyways
music obsessed81: I went to him because I told my family I was bi and my mom flipped out! Sean's gone so I had nowhere to go. You were out getting druck so I thought "Hell, may as well go to Orli." And that's when I started finding out about all this
music obsessed81: I'm not trying to take him from you
music obsessed81: I don't want to do that because I know both of you still love each other.
ImAfraidofDuckys: apparently he doesn't know that
music obsessed81: Yes he does. He still loves you and I told him that you loved him back.
music obsessed81: You're just the one having trouble opening up to him.
music obsessed81: You're afraid because of you ex.
ImAfraidofDuckys: no i'm not
ImAfraidofDuckys: i've opened up, i've told him, i've come clean
ImAfraidofDuckys: i take fucking care of him! i go out of my way to make sure his back is okay, i help him as much as i can when it's actually hurt but no, apparently i treat him like shit.
ImAfraidofDuckys: so fine
music obsessed81: You keep talking in the past about helping him! So why was I there last night helping him?
ImAfraidofDuckys: because he left
ImAfraidofDuckys: what do you think i spent christmas day doing? i spent it taking care of him. i did every fucking thing possible for him, even had christmas in bed along with everything else in bed because he hurt his back.
ImAfraidofDuckys: yeah, yesterday. real fucking long time ago. i don't live with him. i'm not with him 24/7.
ImAfraidofDuckys: and you know what? some of us aren't so lucky to have never had our hearts flat out broken, and some of us aren't lucky enough not to be able to get attached fully to someone. some of us have had our hearts broken routinely and severely so i'm so fucking sorry that i'm uneasy in a relationship because i don't want to get hurt again when the wounds haven't even closed from the alst one and i don't want to hurt someone else.
ImAfraidofDuckys: if she'd fucked me up that bad, i would have never even persued something with him, but i have and i am. and i love him and it keeps me up at night routinely because i am so fucking afraid that he's going to find someone better than me. look at me, i'm a horrible fucking person. ugly to boto and just flat out weird. there's a whole island of guys better than me and he works with some of the best.
music obsessed81: but he wants you. He chose you out of everyone else
ImAfraidofDuckys: i'm sure he regrets it
music obsessed81: If he did, be probably would have left you by now.
ImAfraidofDuckys: thanks for the vote of confidence
music obsessed81: I'm trying to show that he still likes you because he hasn't
ImAfraidofDuckys: wishful thinking on your part i'm sure
music obsessed81: Look, I'm obviously doing a lousy job at trying to be your friend. But you know I would do anything, anything for the two of you.
ImAfraidofDuckys: right
music obsessed81: I would.
ImAfraidofDuckys: right
music obsessed81: I'm serious! I did for Orli last night.
ImAfraidofDuckys: because you're jsut so much better than me
music obsessed81: It's because I care
ImAfraidofDuckys: which i obviously don't, right?
ImAfraidofDuckys: i'm just this selfish prick who has never done a single fucking thing for anyone else, especially his boyfriend
ImAfraidofDuckys: right, now that it's been established how much greater elijah is than dom.. i think i'll go see if i can out drink that banana bender tonight.
music obsessed81: I'm not trying to be better then you!
ImAfraidofDuckys: BUT YOU ARE
ImAfraidofDuckys: so enjoy it
ImAfraidofDuckys: gloat
ImAfraidofDuckys: do whatever the fuck and then you can come back afterwards and rub it in my face again
music obsessed81: I don't want to be better then you. I don't want Orli to think I'd be a better boyfriend and come to me.
music obsessed81: I'm just trying to make the two of you happy
ImAfraidofDuckys: so you show him how much better than me you are
ImAfraidofDuckys: gee, thanks
music obsessed81: I'm not trying to!
music obsessed81: I'm trying to make him feel better and not kill himself over you!
ImAfraidofDuckys: well glad that someone'll be so fucking fine
music obsessed81: He's not fine though
ImAfraidofDuckys: and neither am i
music obsessed81: So the three of us are living our lives as depressing piles of shit. Hey, look at that, we all have something in common, right now.
ImAfraidofDuckys: woo fucking hoo
ImAfraidofDuckys: now, i'm really sick of being yelled at so unless you have anything else to tell me, i'm going
music obsessed81: Fine, you know what..
music obsessed81: I told you I would do anything for you and Orlando. And I did. I fucking kissed him to try and make him feel better!
ImAfraidofDuckys: like i said, lame fucking excuse of a best friend, lij
ImAfraidofDuckys: go tig yourself. how about that. i'm going.
music obsessed81: Fine, go! And that's a really shitty comeback "go tig yourself"? Talking to a Brit like you I know you could do better but that's just sad.
ImAfraidofDuckys: go piss up a rope, kid
music obsessed81: Much better. Now fuck off and get yourself drunk.
ImAfraidofDuckys: *Dom had shut off the computer, finished what drink he had and left the house. He'd already called a cab so he had it drop him off down the block from Elijah's house. No, not pulling up right outside of it. Car doors make noise and draw attention. None of that, not this time. Dom walked right up to the front door, stooping down to smear dirt over the peep hole to make it worthless before knocking at the door a few times.*
music obsessed81: *Lij heard the knocks and looked at the clock, wondering who would come to his house at this time. He went to the door and looked through the peephole, but couldn't see anything and he opened the door confused. His face instantly turned to shock seeing the Brit standing infront of him. "Dom?"
ImAfraidofDuckys: *Dom didn't even say a word. Not a single word. He shifted his stance briefly to get his left leg forward and lean back a bit before he moved forward a step with his weight and strength into it. And he let his fist fly right at Elijah's left cheek with every hope and intention of knocking the younger man flat out on his ass.*
music obsessed81: *Elijah flipped and immediately fell to the ground, holding his face. He groaned and turned to looked up at Dom, holding his hand over his mouth as he started bleeding.* "Dom, you fuckin cunt!"
ImAfraidofDuckys: "Like you've got a fucking bit of room to talk," *Dom snarled down at the other man, a sneer contorting his face for a moment before he turned to walk down the steps to Lij's front door and onto the yard. He'd walk to a bar, he didn't care. He had to hit Lij first.*
music obsessed81: *Lij managed to stand up and chased after him, slamming his hands at Dom's shoulderblades, pushing him forward and shouting nearly at the top of his lungs.* "What the FUCKING HELL is wrong with you!?"
ImAfraidofDuckys: *Dom staggered forward before he turned around and bent over some before tackling Lij with his shoulder set square against his ribs and arms around his torso. And he just kept going in hopes of driving them both to the ground.* Wrong with me? I don't go around kissing other men's boyfriends! Especially my best mates boyfriend!
music obsessed81: *Lij stumbled back and groaned again slamming into the ground. He squirmed trying to get out from under Dom.* "I'm sorry, okay?!"
ImAfraidofDuckys: *Dom sat up just enough to swing again, aiming for the same spot again essentially. Hey, he was right handed!* "The fuck you are! You've always wanted Orlando! He's always who you wanted to fuck and be fucked by, but he picked me and you saw a chance and you took it!"
music obsessed81: *Tears started streaming down Elijah's face from the second punch, and by what he had said. He kept his face in the grass for a moment before spitting out the blood that pooled in his mouth and turned carefully back to face him. He glared up at him, angry and hurt by his words, then reached up and pushed his shoulders.* "Get the hell off of me!"
ImAfraidofDuckys: "Fine, not like I'd ever get on you now, fuckin' arse," *Dom muttered under his breath, getting up with a less than hard kick to his friend's leg, right on the outside of his thigh. Dom could've kicked a lot harder and done damage, but this was more for emphasis.*
music obsessed81: *Lij rolled over and got himself weakly to his feet and wiped off his mouth again.* "So what if it's true! So what if I've always wanted him? But I didn't want to kiss him! I thought of you and Sean the entire time, and I knew it was wrong!! I regret ever doing it! I'm sorry..."
ImAfraidofDuckys: "Yeah, I'm real sure of that. And don't be cryin' or upset, just gave you a free chance to prove just how much better you are than me again, con-fuckin'-grats. You can say you bore witness to me bollocks'ing up the whole fucking thing!" *Dom all but practically was yelling by the end of all he said, gesturing wildly and emphatically.*
music obsessed81: *Elijah snarled at him and charged for him, wrapping his arm around the man's waist to tackle him to the ground, he also managed to stick a foot behind one of Dom's to trip him and give him an advantage.*
ImAfraidofDuckys: *Dom grunted on impact but simply brought his elbow down on top of the back of Lij's head the best he could. He was going to fight dirty if this was going to turn into a scrapper match. He'd been in enough brawls to know how to hold his own.*
music obsessed81: *He let go instantly and fell aside, landing on his knees and one hand, holding the other on his head. Again he managed to climb to his feet, but he shook his head a little, getting dizzy and disoriented.* "You think you're the one who's fucked up?! I grew up without a father, I'm the fucking Yank living in a place who hates American's and sorrounded by British bastards! I'm the one who's trying to keep the peace and making everyone happy and fucking everything up twice over!"
ImAfraidofDuckys: "And I grew up without a fucking home!" Dom shouted back. "Every three years it was 'alright, forget that life, moving on!' and sometimes not even that bloody long! I can't even tell you all of the places I've lived anymore! So you scream at me about not opening up, well I'm fucking sorry but I act the way I do because it's the only fucking way I've ever known to survive in a new place with new people!" *Dom was furious, but he stayed on the ground, propped up slightly.* "And for your information, it's the fucking French that hate you, not the blasted kiwis."
music obsessed81: *Elijah said nothing and lowered his head, covering his eyes with a hand feeling really dizzy. He looked down at him and took a half step back. He knew there was no match against Dom and he shouldn't have tackled him knowing that.* "I'm sorry, Dominic.. For everything. There's nothing I can do or say to fix any of this, so I may as well lock myself in my room and completely keep away from you and Orlando and all the problems between you two. Because I try to take a step forward, but something always happens and a fall three back."
ImAfraidofDuckys: "Yeah, just this time it was my fist." *Dom muttered under his breath before getting up. He walked right up to Elijah, face inches away from his friend's and he held to the front of his shirt to make sure he didn't run off.* None of us have had an easy fuckin' childhood and know what, coming out never is sunshine and roses. I had the good fortune to be at Catholic school when I said it at least. But this time, these problems.. you know what, I'm starting to wonder if they can be fixed. I do all I bloody can for him and wear my heart on my sleeve for him and then he runs around saying I don't care for him? Fuck that. He got pissed because I didn't mention him in a journal but know what? I didn't say a thing because I did not want my only thing said about Orlando to be about how he and I have sex. I think worlds more of him than just a fuck-buddy and refuse to treat him, think of him, and talk of him in such a degrading manner. But Hell, if it's what he wants, then I'll do what he wants because God knows at this point I'll wax my ass and shove a snake up it if it'd make him happy and keep him around because I'm getting fucking desperate." *Dom shoved himself away from Elijah a bit, starting backwards a few steps.* "Ya know, I appreciate the help but next time? Hear it all before yelling at me. Stoned and drunk or not, I still know I love him and I'm painfully fuckin' aware of my mistakes."
music obsessed81: *Elijah tried to step back again as he came closer, but froze when he grabbed his shirt and stared into Dom's eyes with a snarl. He listened carefully and took all his words in, never arguing back at him. He stepped back when Dom shoved off and he waited a minute before finally talking.* "What do you want me to say? I can't apologize, I've done it too many times already.."
ImAfraidofDuckys: "So then don't fuckin' apologize. Just go inside and ice your cheek." *Dom said, voice rather cold. He was keeping his back turned to Elijah now, too. He was trying not to show any emotion.*
music obsessed81: *Tears were still rolling down Elijah's cheeks and he breathed heavily to try and calm himself down. Slowly he walked back to the house and stood in the doorframe, looking back at Dom.* "I still love you, Dom." *He called out, and closed the door. He rested his back against it and stared up at the ceiling before sliding down and curling himself in a ball against the door, burying his face in his arms and legs.*