This is disturbing to me because I can’t really locate my current state of being. Since I’m so cerebral and removed my therapist often encourages me to try to limit myself to thinking in terms of feelings (in “normal world” this is relatively definitive and can usually be correlated to specific incidences “I feel sad because . . .”).
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this wont make you feel better but i cant stop drinking even though ive had various people refuse to ever speak to me again + havent done my czech homework or gone to czech class in a couple of weeks. instead i keep going out and drinking even more than the night before, spending even more money, and bringing home new people. i'm a rat.
i'm sorry you are suffering though.
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