let the music play...down at fraggle rock!

Oct 16, 2005 12:56



So...Let me some up my whole freakin week to everyone.  Ive missed school all last week.  I haven't been able to hang with anyone.  I haven't been able to gaurd work.  I feel like i am letting down those girls.  I randomly vomit.(sorry for being disgusting)  I feel sick every moment of the day.  My sleeping patterns have been all messed up because i can't lie down totally flat or i will throw up in my sleep.

The reason i'm like this is because of the disease ive had for some years now.  Acid Reflux disease.  This damn disease hasn't gone away or let me be at all.  I mean i would take medicine like  Nexium, Zantac etc. but it only leaves me be for a couple months.  Now for some reason it doesn't work even for a couple of months.  Now i have to get an endoscopy.  the  28th i think?  Because Its worsened in the past couple weeks.  I just feel so weak.  I can barely move sometimes just because of being weak.  I'm finally on some medication just to take the sick feeling away so i can get through the school day, hopefully.  Ive just felt so lonely and hurting becuase of this.  It sucks. 
They aren't sure whats going on anymore.  The acid could have moved around my body?  It could be affecting my pancreas or liver.  I honestly hate doctors because they never call you back until you threaten to take your records out of there facility.  Then they call you back but still aren't concerned they just pretend.  And ofcourse the doctors always say things about my piercings.  'oh look some more unneeded metal in your ear, mouth, belly.'  I DON'T NEED TO HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT THEM...JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP ME!!!!!!. 
I can barely eat.  I'm just miserable.  I pretty much feel helpless.  I just hope i don't have to go to the hospital anymore to get tested because ive given them all the blood they need. really.  i'm tired of it all. 
I'm just scared.   
sorry...just really had to write it all down and vent.
Previous post Next post
Up