Nighttime Voices
Title: Nighttime Voices
Pairings: Fanxing, Ninja!Xiuhan-if-you-squint (I can't help it)
Rating: PG
Warning: Same as Uncut Ties, massive feels?
Length: ~5500 words (I don't know how this happened, this was meant to be a short headcanoning, not this)
Summary: The secrecy of the night lends itself to hushed voices, rekindling seemingly lost friendships under its protective veil. Because despite the distance, Yixing can't help but to keep holding on.
A/N: I'm still in denial about the fact that I wrote a second installment and that this quick writing down of headcanons turned into more than 5k words. This is set after Uncut Ties but can be read as a standalone. Inspired by Yifan's song and his birthday event.
Nighttime Voices
It was the dead of the night, and even though this November was way warmer than Yixing was used to, the cold crept into his rather thin sweatshirt and bit his fingers. He rubbed them together and then leaned down until they were right in front of his mouth, hoping his breath would be enough to warm them up a bit. Yixing blew air out gently and for a moment his hands were engulfed in a warm, white cloud, but all too soon the night air claimed its place once more.
Shivering, Yixing pulled out his phone, checking the time again. Four more minutes.
He tucked the phone back into his pocket, his hands following right after. To keep himself warm he started pacing up and down.
Yixing was right outside their dorm building, having moved just a few steps away from its entrance area into the shadows of the trees standing a few paces away. He was very grateful that there were no saesengs outside their building that night, and the vegetation shielded him from the gazes of unsuspecting eyes that happened to walk by by chance.
As he moved back and forth, cautiously so as not to step onto the fallen leaves and produce unwanted noises, he concocted the sentences he wanted to use in his mind.
A little voice inside his head berated him for how ridiculous he was being, waiting for the minutes to tick away until 1am. It wasn't as if it was really important for him to send his message at the first possible moment. But it felt important, and so Yixing didn't turn back and return to the safe warmth of his dorm.
He reasoned he probably should have thrown on a jacket or at least some warm sweater, but Yixing had forgot to check the clock before heading down, thinking it was already way later, perhaps even too late already. So he hadn't expected to be too early even, and that he would have to wait this long.
With fidgety fingers Yixing pulled out his phone once more. The screen read 00:59 and Yixing finally unlocked it and opened Kakao Talk.
A familiar picture was smiling up at him when he selected the chat, and after all this time apart, after few weeks of getting reacquainted, he still couldn't stop himself from mimicking the smile. His fingers hovered over the virtual keyboard, and he was just about to start typing, when the little plus sign caught his eye.
It was a split-second decision, really, but suddenly an urge overcame Yixing, and his fingers moved almost on their own accord. His eyes flitted to the clock, checking that it was indeed past 01:00, then he pressed a careful finger on the voice note option.
The field prompting Yixing to start his recording glared up at him. Just as he had touched the round record sign, effectively starting the recording, a wave of unexpected panic hit him. All the phrases he had thought up a few seconds ago seemed to have fled from his mind. It strangely felt like stage fright.
So Yixing tried to deal with it the same way he had always dealt with stage fright. He closed his eyes, inhaled, and imagined he was not standing outside his dorm, awkwardly sending voice notes in secrecy. He forced himself to calm down. Just because he and Yifan hadn't spoken in months-because texting was not speaking-he had no reason to completely lose his cool.
Instead when he exhaled he pictured the face he saw on screencaps all over Weibo and Sina today, imagined it was there, right before him, and all of a sudden the words started freely flowing through his mind.
Keeping his eyes closed, Yixing brought the phone closer to his smiling lips, to make sure the mic caught his quiet words.
"Happy birthday, Yifan! You've been everywhere these days, really. So many public appearances. Making it big, aren't you. Isn't that a great birthday present?"
Yixing halted for a moment, opening his eyes to gaze up at the stars. It was a clear night, and it felt kind of surreal that even though Yifan was all the way over in Beijing, they were still able to look at the same stars. "I'm really happy for you. You worked hard for this, and today, on your birthday, you deserve to lean back for a bit. I hope you will get to really celebrate your birthday. I would have made you a proper cake, just to show you how such a thing should look like, but I don't think it would have survived all the way to you."
On his own birthday he and Yifan had been back to exchanging regular texts, so Yixing had expected some kind of birthday message from the giant, but he had not been prepared for a drawn picture of a horribly butchered looking cake, complete with the message "I would have loved to send you a cake for today, but sadly I didn't have the opportunity to make it, so here you have a design of your hypothetical birthday cake."
Yixing had to laugh so hard at the picture that he was unable to collect enough breath to explain the situation to his fellow members. It had earned him a few funny glances, but once he had managed to reign himself in again, he had felt lighter.
To Yifan:
I appreciate the thought, but I think it's better you didn't have an opportunity. I'm not sure I would have survived that.
The picture had somehow made Yixing fall back into an old pattern with Yifan without even truly noticing. It felt good, good enough to overpower the fact that the drawing and Yifan's message made Yixing miss him even more.
From Yifan:
Such blasphemy. It would have been the best birthday cake you ever got.
Yixing chuckled at the memory, before noticing that his phone was still recording. "Well, without a cake you will have to make-do with my birthday wishes. Yifan, be healthy and don't forget to dress warmly now that the temperatures are dropping! May your next year be better than the last. Happy birthday."
His fingers were a bit stiff from the cold when he tapped the screen to end the recording. He could have listened to is, but he just hit sent, making it appear as a little bubble on Yixing's side of the chat. It felt right.
Not wanting to give the cold any more chance to creep onto him, Yixing immediately locked his phone and hurried back into the warm safety of the dorm.
---
That night Yixing dreamt of Yifan's smiling face. The taller male had his phone in his hands-an IPhone 6 Plus, Yixing knew, but in Yifan's hands the phone looked smaller than Yixing's normal IPhone 6 did in Yixing's hands-and was apparently listening to Yixing's message, his earphones in. Yixing could see the gentle stretch of Yifan's mouth widen into a full-on grin. When the recording was over, he lifted his gaze and looked directly at Yixing. "You are such an idiot. But thanks for doting on me."
Yixing was caught between averting his eyes in embarrassment and mirroring Yifan's expression, but in the end the latter option won. In his dream, Yixing felt content.
---
Yixing didn't know what time it was exactly, but the sun was just barely creeping over the horizon when he ventured into the kitchen for a glass of water. He should probably have slept longer, considering that he had fallen asleep well after 1am and therefore couldn't have slept for more than 5 hours. They were allowed to sleep in for a change these days when they mostly had individual schedules, so Yixing really should have been using the opportunity to restock on some sleep, but he couldn't help feeling restless.
There was this urge lodged in his insides. He knew what it was that he longed to do, but he didn't want to give in just yet, so he mentally listed all of his morning tasks, willing himself to follow through with them as usual. Obediently he downed his water before he headed to the washroom to clean his face and brush his teeth. When he was done, the early morning sun was already illuminating their living room.
He sank down onto one of the soft sofas, pulling his phone out of his pocket and going about his usual morning routine of checking his messages and SNS. Yifan hadn't replied to his message yet, but it was not as if Yixing expected him to. It was his birthday, so he would presumably be flooded with birthday wishes. Probably it would take him all day to sort through and reply to all the messages. But he had seen it at least, and that was already enough for Yixing.
As soon as he logged into Weibo though Yixing had no more chance to procrastinate. Yifan's song was literally all over the place. He simply followed the first link he happened across.
The seconds the player took to buffer felt like short eternities to his expectant self. But then the soft notes of a piano started playing, and Yixing didn't even know why these few notes were already enough to draw a content smile from him, but they did.
Getting lost in Yifan's song was surprisingly easy. With his earphones in and his eyes closed Yixing allowed the gentle voice to wash over him. The voice sounded familiar and yet so strangely foreign. He had heard Yifan sing, in the silence of their dorm at night, when he thought the others were sleeping and no one listened, but even then he had sounded different. This was undeniably a studio recording, a clear vocal track with background music that started out unobtrusive and rose a bit towards the chorus part, just to fall back off afterwards. And it sounded amazingly good.
Having listened to Yifan's rendition of All Of Me-way more often than Yixing would like to admit-had prepared Yixing for Yifan's high notes, but he still ended up being amazed by how long Yifan was able to hold a clear note.
It took Yixing a moment to get back to reality once the last piano sound had faded off. He just kept staring at his phone, at the small picture of Yifan in the upper corner. The last seconds of the song still resounded within his head, and he gave in to the temptation to start the song again.
On the first replay he read the lyrics along. He had heard that Yifan had been involved in the composition and writing of the lyrics to the song, and it was easy for Yixing to pick out the traces of Yifan in the lines he sang. They had both sat together often enough for Yixing to know the way the other ran words through his head. The sentences had a certain simplicity to them, one that made them sound really beautiful when sung though.
That morning on the couch Yixing lost his sense of time as he replayed the song over and over again. He only stopped when Jongdae walked in on him, halting his steps when he saw Yixing lounging on the couch. For a moment he looked startled to see the elder, but then he muttered a quick good morning before proceeding to the kitchen, to fetch himself something from the fridge as breakfast.
Knowing that Jongdae being awake was most likely a sign that the rest of the members would be up and about soon as well, Yixing closed Weibo and joined Jongdae in the kitchen.
He was perched on a stool by their kitchen counter when his phone vibrated in his pants. Half expecting it to be Yifan's answer, Yixing pulled it out, but the screen showed Luhan's name instead of Yifan's.
From Luhan:
Be careful to not start humming along while you're in public.
To Luhan:
Hum along to what?
From Luhan:
No need to play dumb, Xing. I know you've listened to Yifan's song already. And I bet not only once.
Yixing pouted at his phone, uncaring of the fact that Luhan couldn't see his expression.
To Luhan:
How would you know?
From Luhan:
I know you.
----
Sweat was running down the side of Yixing's face when he came to a halt, finally allowed to catch his breath. Their dance training was rigorous these days. They had a few days with close to no schedule until they would depart to Japan for their concerts, and with their comeback coming closer and closer, it was a perfect opportunity to get some practice done during the downtime. Yixing was alone with Minseok in the dance studio. They had had a group dance practice slot in the morning and another one in the afternoon. Right now they had separated, pursuing their individual training alone or in smaller groups.
"Okay, not bad." Minseok panted, throwing a water bottle at Yixing who caught it with practiced ease. With his mouth occupied with the water, Yixing simply hummed in agreement, before reaching for the towel that was lazily tossed over his backpack.
He was just about to suggest they continue, when Minseok's phone buzzed. "That lazybones, he could very well have come to ask in person..." he muttered to himself while reading the text, then looked up to Yixing. "Chanyeol's writing they're going to get dinner now. You coming with us?"
If it had been any other day, Yixing would most likely have agreed, if only for the sake of the member's company, but a quick glance to the clock told him that it was almost time, so he answered with a shake of his head. "No thanks, I'll pass. I'll rather keep on practicing."
"You sure?" Minseok asked, eyeing him warily. Despite looking as if he was one of the youngest, Minseok usually acted his real age, constantly looking out for the other members with a sense of parental concern. And while he was very strict on himself if it came to dieting, he generally tried to remind the other members that proper eating was important, and practice shouldn't be too excessive.
"I'm not that hungry anyway." Yixing assured, though he knew that wasn't a very reliable statement coming from him.
Minseok's eyes showed his want to be more assertive, to try harder to get Yixing to take a break and get some dinner. But it was a well known fact that if Yixing set his mind on something, he could be a lot more stubborn than one might suspect.
"Okay, I'll see you later then. Don't overdo it." Minseok gave in, collecting his things and giving Yixing a brotherly pat on the shoulder as he went to leave. If Luhan would have still been there, he might have been persistent enough to get Yixing to cave in. But while Yixing and Minseok had grown close in the years they spent together, the older wasn't as close to him as Luhan was.
Yixing knew that Minseok worried about how he dealt with Luhan's departure. He was extra attentive to Yixing, while at the same time trying to not pressure him too much, something Yixing greatly appreciated.
It was obvious, that Yixing threw himself into work even harder than usual these days. They just all had different ways of coping.
Tao got himself a dog-an adorable dog, that would end up being spoilt rotten between Tao, Sehun and Jongin-to distract himself from or perhaps even somehow replace Luhan.
Minseok himself spent as much time over his Chinese textbooks as he could find between comeback practices and their last concerts, studying more than Yixing had seen him do the past two years. The eldest never admitted it openly to Yixing, but the walls in their dorm were thin, and with his room being right beside Minseok's he couldn't help catching small parts of hushed conversations in the silence of the night.
Even Minseok's late night phone talks with Luhan were used for Chinese lessons. "The better my Chinese the more Chinese variety shows I'll be able to do." he silently confessed to Luhan one night with an embarrassed chuckle. If it was so he simply could be in the same country as Luhan, or if he was hoping for them to be on one together actually, he didn't clarify, but Yixing knew Minseok would most likely be fine with either way.
And Yixing himself, his method of coping hadn't changed ever since, it was still the same as always. The only appropriate way for him to deal with emotional turmoil was work, work, and even more work. Writing songs, singing, dancing, little food, little sleep. It might not be the healthiest of coping mechanisms, but when he was completely worn out, his mind didn't have the opportunity to occupy itself with unwanted thoughts.
Tonight he had different plans though. Today wasn't just any other day. Instead of restarting the music and throwing himself back into dancing, he decided to head for the showers and change into fresh clothes.
As soon as he was finished, he went up a floor to search for an empty individual practice room. They were small, hardly big enough to accommodate three people, but they were soundproof since their purpose was to give the artists a place to either practice their singing or to simply focus on their individual task without any distractions.
It was easy to find an empty room at this hour, when many artists where at the cafeteria, eating dinner.
Inside, Yixing sat down facing the door, so that anyone looking inside would be unable to see what he was looking at on the IPad he pulled out of his backpack.
Even though the situation was very different from months ago when he had lastly watched a similar video in secret, he felt strangely reminiscent of that day. But this time he was a lot more at ease. It wasn't as if he would blatantly go around announcing what he was doing, but he also didn't care that much if anyone found out. He suspected most of the members knew either way.
As soon as he had unlocked the tablet and found the correct website, it was already a few minutes past nine, but apparently the event hadn't even fully started yet. He watched Yifan's friends talk about Yifan, how they met him, what he was like back when they were young.
Yixing had met Bingyang a few times in the passing, when the other and Yifan would meet up at their dorm before heading out. Pre-debut, when Luhan hadn't yet joined SM, Yifan would occasionally invite Yixing along. Having the opportunity to talk Chinese always was a relieve, but Yixing was focused on his training way more than he was on making friends, and so Bingyang always stayed Yifan's friend and never really became more than an acquaintance to Yixing.
He mused it was better that way.
Caught up in distant memories, Yixing almost didn't notice he had spaced out, but the face he had been waiting for without even realizing it brought him back to the present. Yifan was sneaking up on his friend, and his smile gave Yixing a surprisingly painful pang at the lost familiarity of it. Only then did Yixing realize how long it had been since he had last seen Yifan's smile.
He had seen some of his promo pictures, had watched Yifan's performance of All of Me at the press conference for his movie, but on all these occasions Yifan had been professional. Right there, in the video, he was casual, his usual playful self around his friends. Texting with him, Yixing had often been able to see Yifan's smile in his written words, but it was something entirely different to really see it again.
He hadn't noticed how much he missed that smile. And when Yifan finally entered the stage and commenced his little interview, Yixing also noticed how much he had missed his voice.
Slouching down a bit Yixing made sure to sit comfortably, before placing the tablet on his legs and pulling his phone out. Yifan was live, he was talking and moving at that moment in Beijing while Yixing was watching from Seoul. So Yixing reasoned it was stupid to write Yifan. He would obviously not get his messages, but seeing him made it impossible for Yixing to stay silent.
The next hour and a half Yixing spent snickering and grinning to himself, writing his comments for Yifan to find as soon as he got a hold of his phone after his birthday event was over.
He teased Yifan about how kissing was easier for him than crying, sneered at the drawing that was supposed to be an alpaca-if anything that was a sheep, alpacas had long necks the last time he checked-and mockingly admired his posing skills, especially what a pretty princess Yifan was, and what a shame it was he didn't want to be a princess again.
Before Yixing knew it, the event was already pulling to a close. Seeing Yifan getting all chocked up while receiving his birthday wishes had probably been the hardest part for Yixing. Wanting to comment on it, but being unable to find the right words, Yixing had spent minutes staring at his phone's screen blankly. Only when Yifan and his friends began to sing Yifan's new song, did he force himself to write the word he felt were right.
To Yifan:
I think you made the right choice for yourself.
It hurt to admit it, but it was the truth, and Yixing believed that while Yifan's decision hurt a lot of people, for him it was the only feasible way to go.
By the end of the event Yixing had sent more than 30 messages, he estimated, and for a moment he panicked when the MC announced that they would bring Yifan his phone for taking a selfie.
Yifan's face was hidden from view the second he first looked at the screen, but the blink of an eye later his expression didn't seem to have changed at all. Yixing guessed that the elder had put his phone into flight mode, so that he wouldn't be disturbed during the filming.
It was nearing 11pm, and Yixing bet his muscles would be stiff as hell after sitting crouched on the floor for almost two hours, but he found he couldn't move yet when he saw Yifan's smile. The video was a bad quality, filming the screen that was filming Yifan, but Yixing could still tell that Yifan looked so happy, and Yixing tried his hardest to burn the picture into his inner eye, because this smile made him feel a bit lighter and he wanted to remember it.
Overcome with feelings he reached for his phone to write his last message for the night.
To Yifan:
Happy birthday, you idiot.
---
Yixing didn't know how late it was when he finally collapsed into bed, but it had to be quite late. After the training the whole day he was positively beat, but his head still had troubles coming to a halt. Ever since he had seen Yifan it had been buzzing, though he could not even pinpoint what he was thinking about.
Just as his eyelids started dropping, his phone buzzed on his nightstand. The noise startled Yixing, and he quickly reached out for the device, so that it wouldn't wake up the rest of the dorm. He expected it to be a text message, but the vibrations didn't stop. When he looked at the screen, Yixing's heart skipped an involuntary beat, and without even meaning to he instantly answered the call.
Thin walls, he reminded himself, but his throat was unable to produce any sound either way.
It wasn't as if he needed to though, because as soon as the call connected a familiar voice droned through his speakers.
"Yixing, you little spammer." Yifan followed his rather unconventional greeting up with a bout of not so silent snickering, and Yixing started placing the pieces together.
"Yifan, are you drunk?" He asked a bit hesitantly, because the other certainly sounded like it.
"I am not." Yifan denied, and Yixing could basically hear the pout in his words. He simply snorted in disbelief, making Yifan laugh meekly and add: "Okay okay, Ray might have forced me to drink a bit with him, but I'm still sober, I swear."
"It's your birthday, so I guess I'll believe you." Yixing admonished, before frowning in thought. "Though technically it isn't anymore, I guess."
Yifan's laughter rang through the line, bright and merry, and Yixing could feel his heart hammer against his ribcage with excitement at the sound. "Cut me some slack, please."
For a moment the younger contemplated, but in the end he decided to switch from teasing to serious. It felt great to be able to tease Yifan, almost as if their friendship was back to the way it used to be, but it wasn't yet, and Yixing didn't want to let himself be fooled by Yifan's not-entirely-sober-but-also-not-drunk-yet's self.
"Why are you calling, Yifan?" He asked instead, making sure to whisper, hoping that none of his bandmates had been awoken by his talking.
A short pause on the other end of the line. Yixing could make out hushed conversations, and street noises, drowned out but still audible in the background. It made Yixing wonder if Yifan was currently outside, but before he would ask any more questions he wanted an answer to his first one.
It was weird, talking to Yifan over the phone. Only then did Yixing realize that it was probably the first time they had ever talked over the phone. After they had met each other and got close, they had never been apart for long enough to rise the desire to call each other, and even if they'd been separated for a while, there always was the certainty that they would be back together soon enough to make texts be more than enough to stay in contact.
"Hearing your voice was nice." Yifan finally admitted, breaking the silence between them. Right then he truly sounded sober to Yixing, almost melancholic. And Yixing could relate all too well to that feeling.
"Same here." he confessed in turn. Even though Beijing and Seoul were more than 950km apart Yixing felt so close to Yifan all of a sudden that it caught him a bit off-guard, making him change the topic. "I watched your birthday event today."
Yifan's chuckle reached his ears. "I guessed as much. You seem to have enjoyed it."
Glad that the mood was back to being a bit lighter, Yixing chuckled as well. "How would you've guessed?"
"Well, I guess turning the flight mode off and receiving dozens of messages from you might have given you away."
Another muffled laugh on Yixing's side. In a way he felt ridiculous to be all smiles and laughter over such a simple thing as Yifan talking to him, but he decided he felt too happy about it to really care. "Of course I'd enjoy watching you trying to act all cool and failing."
"Not fair." Yifan whined, making Yixing's grin stretch even wider. "I was being perfectly cool, not failing at it."
"Sure you were." Yixing replied, the mocking obvious in his voice, and for a moment they both enjoyed their silent laughter.
"Where are you right now?" Yixing finally asked, trying to find some innocuous topic to talk about.
"On the balcony, at some club. Ray recommended it, it's fun, but not really my style. Why're you asking?"
"No reason. I only thought I heard some mute beats in the background." Yixing explained, finally leaning back into his pillows so that his gaze was cast on the white, nondescript ceiling. "I listened to your song." He added, almost as an afterthought.
"You did?" It might have been Yixing's imagination, but Yifan almost sounded nervous. "What did you think?"
"It was good. Really good. For your first song, I think it really suits you." Yixing kept the fact that he had listened to it on repeat for at least half an hour to himself on purpose. No need to feed Yifan's ego that much.
But the relieved sounding sigh almost made him wish he did say it.
"Hearing you say that really means a lot to me, Yixing." Yifan silently confessed, and Yixing awkwardly didn't know how to answer, so he simply hummed understandingly.
"Where did you listen to it though?" Yifan wondered, as if he had only just thought the matter through.
"Weibo, obviously."
The answering laugh sounded disbelieving and amused at the same time. "But you weren't logged in, were you?"
"Of course I was. Have you already forgotten that I always check my Weibo first thing in the morning?" Yixing had half the mind to be offended by the other's obliviousness, but was too confused by Yifan's question.
"Other's will know." The low voice explained, and finally it dawned on Yixing. He had been the oblivious one, not remembering that people could see who had recently listened to which music on Weibo. Yixing contemplated panicking, but he found he didn't care. It wasn't like him to openly rebel, to go and shout his support for Yifan from the rooftops, but this had been no official statement, just him listening to a song that was hyped and that he was curious about.
"I don't care." He iterated his thoughts to Yifan, "I don't care if anyone knows. It's a good song, you did well, and everyone who cares to look may know I listened to it."
"... Thank you." Yifan's voice was soft and silent.
His gentleness and wistfulness were what pushed Yixing to say what he hadn't even realized himself he wanted to say. "There's just one thing wrong with that song."
"I don't think there's only one thing about this song that people might not like. But what do you mean?" Yifan almost sounded cautious. He said it himself, his song was like his son, and even if one wanted to improve as an artist, one never liked one's children to be criticized. Yixing could relate to that very well.
So he gathered his courage, and steeled himself for what he was about to say. "The only thing that's wrong with this song is-" he didn't mean to pause for a dramatic effect, but he was still wondering if it wouldn't be better to stay silent, and he had to force the rest of the sentence out. "-that it doesn't have both our names written below it."
He heard Yifan exhale, as if he had warded himself for a blow that never came. "Yixing..."
"No, I understand why it is this way. It just makes me wonder, if things would have gone differently, would it have been the both of us releasing a song around this time? After all the nights we spent together, composing and writing lyrics."
Yifan's breathing was the only sound coming through the line. Even without seeing him Yixing knew the other was currently collecting his thoughts. "I wish we could have. And one day we will. When enough time has passed to make a collaboration possible, we will both be featured on the artist tag."
The resolution of Yifan's statement almost made Yixing believe it. It made him want to believe it.
"One day?"
"One day. For sure."
Though Yifan couldn't see him, Yixing nodded to himself. It felt weird to see the person he had worked together with for years go and do the same thing on their own, or perhaps even worse, with someone else, but he still felt content with having a goal to look forward to.
They talked for way longer than Yixing had anticipated, and when they finally decided it was time to hang up, they were both reluctant, but Yixing had to catch at least a little sleep and Yifan's friends were most likely already wondering where he went.
"Talk to you soon?" Yifan asked, sounding so hopeful that there would have been no way for Yixing to turn him down.
"I'd love that."
And it was the truth. If there was one thing the call had shown Yixing, it was that talking to Yifan still felt like home to him, and still managed to settle him, even after all this time.
When Yixing finally laid down in his bed, the phone placed on his nightstand and the moon shining through his windows, there was just one thought in his mind as he fell asleep.
One day.
~.~.~.~.~
A/N: I was a bit hesistant about posting this, because it was meant to be written and posted at least close to Yifan's birthday, but I'm a horribly slow writer these days. I contemplated letting it rot forever on my harddrive, but since I already wrote it, I thought there would be no harm done in posting it anyway. ALSO I NEEDED SOME WAY TO DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT YIXING APPARENTLY REALLY LISTENED TO YIFAN'S SONG! Still feels too good to be true.
Anyways, I never intended to write another installment in my personal headcanon verse of Uncut Ties, but it happened, and I can't promise it won't happen again. Whenever something big happens to Yifan or Yixing I'm usually overcome with Fanxing feels, but I haven't got anything concrete planned right now.
Pairings: Fanxing, Ninja!Xiuhan-if-you-squint (I can't help it)
Rating: PG
Warning: Same as Uncut Ties, massive feels?
Length: ~5500 words (I don't know how this happened, this was meant to be a short headcanoning, not this)
Summary: The secrecy of the night lends itself to hushed voices, rekindling seemingly lost friendships under its protective veil. Because despite the distance, Yixing can't help but to keep holding on.
A/N: I'm still in denial about the fact that I wrote a second installment and that this quick writing down of headcanons turned into more than 5k words. This is set after Uncut Ties but can be read as a standalone. Inspired by Yifan's song and his birthday event.
Nighttime Voices
It was the dead of the night, and even though this November was way warmer than Yixing was used to, the cold crept into his rather thin sweatshirt and bit his fingers. He rubbed them together and then leaned down until they were right in front of his mouth, hoping his breath would be enough to warm them up a bit. Yixing blew air out gently and for a moment his hands were engulfed in a warm, white cloud, but all too soon the night air claimed its place once more.
Shivering, Yixing pulled out his phone, checking the time again. Four more minutes.
He tucked the phone back into his pocket, his hands following right after. To keep himself warm he started pacing up and down.
Yixing was right outside their dorm building, having moved just a few steps away from its entrance area into the shadows of the trees standing a few paces away. He was very grateful that there were no saesengs outside their building that night, and the vegetation shielded him from the gazes of unsuspecting eyes that happened to walk by by chance.
As he moved back and forth, cautiously so as not to step onto the fallen leaves and produce unwanted noises, he concocted the sentences he wanted to use in his mind.
A little voice inside his head berated him for how ridiculous he was being, waiting for the minutes to tick away until 1am. It wasn't as if it was really important for him to send his message at the first possible moment. But it felt important, and so Yixing didn't turn back and return to the safe warmth of his dorm.
He reasoned he probably should have thrown on a jacket or at least some warm sweater, but Yixing had forgot to check the clock before heading down, thinking it was already way later, perhaps even too late already. So he hadn't expected to be too early even, and that he would have to wait this long.
With fidgety fingers Yixing pulled out his phone once more. The screen read 00:59 and Yixing finally unlocked it and opened Kakao Talk.
A familiar picture was smiling up at him when he selected the chat, and after all this time apart, after few weeks of getting reacquainted, he still couldn't stop himself from mimicking the smile. His fingers hovered over the virtual keyboard, and he was just about to start typing, when the little plus sign caught his eye.
It was a split-second decision, really, but suddenly an urge overcame Yixing, and his fingers moved almost on their own accord. His eyes flitted to the clock, checking that it was indeed past 01:00, then he pressed a careful finger on the voice note option.
The field prompting Yixing to start his recording glared up at him. Just as he had touched the round record sign, effectively starting the recording, a wave of unexpected panic hit him. All the phrases he had thought up a few seconds ago seemed to have fled from his mind. It strangely felt like stage fright.
So Yixing tried to deal with it the same way he had always dealt with stage fright. He closed his eyes, inhaled, and imagined he was not standing outside his dorm, awkwardly sending voice notes in secrecy. He forced himself to calm down. Just because he and Yifan hadn't spoken in months-because texting was not speaking-he had no reason to completely lose his cool.
Instead when he exhaled he pictured the face he saw on screencaps all over Weibo and Sina today, imagined it was there, right before him, and all of a sudden the words started freely flowing through his mind.
Keeping his eyes closed, Yixing brought the phone closer to his smiling lips, to make sure the mic caught his quiet words.
"Happy birthday, Yifan! You've been everywhere these days, really. So many public appearances. Making it big, aren't you. Isn't that a great birthday present?"
Yixing halted for a moment, opening his eyes to gaze up at the stars. It was a clear night, and it felt kind of surreal that even though Yifan was all the way over in Beijing, they were still able to look at the same stars. "I'm really happy for you. You worked hard for this, and today, on your birthday, you deserve to lean back for a bit. I hope you will get to really celebrate your birthday. I would have made you a proper cake, just to show you how such a thing should look like, but I don't think it would have survived all the way to you."
On his own birthday he and Yifan had been back to exchanging regular texts, so Yixing had expected some kind of birthday message from the giant, but he had not been prepared for a drawn picture of a horribly butchered looking cake, complete with the message "I would have loved to send you a cake for today, but sadly I didn't have the opportunity to make it, so here you have a design of your hypothetical birthday cake."
Yixing had to laugh so hard at the picture that he was unable to collect enough breath to explain the situation to his fellow members. It had earned him a few funny glances, but once he had managed to reign himself in again, he had felt lighter.
To Yifan:
I appreciate the thought, but I think it's better you didn't have an opportunity. I'm not sure I would have survived that.
The picture had somehow made Yixing fall back into an old pattern with Yifan without even truly noticing. It felt good, good enough to overpower the fact that the drawing and Yifan's message made Yixing miss him even more.
From Yifan:
Such blasphemy. It would have been the best birthday cake you ever got.
Yixing chuckled at the memory, before noticing that his phone was still recording. "Well, without a cake you will have to make-do with my birthday wishes. Yifan, be healthy and don't forget to dress warmly now that the temperatures are dropping! May your next year be better than the last. Happy birthday."
His fingers were a bit stiff from the cold when he tapped the screen to end the recording. He could have listened to is, but he just hit sent, making it appear as a little bubble on Yixing's side of the chat. It felt right.
Not wanting to give the cold any more chance to creep onto him, Yixing immediately locked his phone and hurried back into the warm safety of the dorm.
---
That night Yixing dreamt of Yifan's smiling face. The taller male had his phone in his hands-an IPhone 6 Plus, Yixing knew, but in Yifan's hands the phone looked smaller than Yixing's normal IPhone 6 did in Yixing's hands-and was apparently listening to Yixing's message, his earphones in. Yixing could see the gentle stretch of Yifan's mouth widen into a full-on grin. When the recording was over, he lifted his gaze and looked directly at Yixing. "You are such an idiot. But thanks for doting on me."
Yixing was caught between averting his eyes in embarrassment and mirroring Yifan's expression, but in the end the latter option won. In his dream, Yixing felt content.
---
Yixing didn't know what time it was exactly, but the sun was just barely creeping over the horizon when he ventured into the kitchen for a glass of water. He should probably have slept longer, considering that he had fallen asleep well after 1am and therefore couldn't have slept for more than 5 hours. They were allowed to sleep in for a change these days when they mostly had individual schedules, so Yixing really should have been using the opportunity to restock on some sleep, but he couldn't help feeling restless.
There was this urge lodged in his insides. He knew what it was that he longed to do, but he didn't want to give in just yet, so he mentally listed all of his morning tasks, willing himself to follow through with them as usual. Obediently he downed his water before he headed to the washroom to clean his face and brush his teeth. When he was done, the early morning sun was already illuminating their living room.
He sank down onto one of the soft sofas, pulling his phone out of his pocket and going about his usual morning routine of checking his messages and SNS. Yifan hadn't replied to his message yet, but it was not as if Yixing expected him to. It was his birthday, so he would presumably be flooded with birthday wishes. Probably it would take him all day to sort through and reply to all the messages. But he had seen it at least, and that was already enough for Yixing.
As soon as he logged into Weibo though Yixing had no more chance to procrastinate. Yifan's song was literally all over the place. He simply followed the first link he happened across.
The seconds the player took to buffer felt like short eternities to his expectant self. But then the soft notes of a piano started playing, and Yixing didn't even know why these few notes were already enough to draw a content smile from him, but they did.
Getting lost in Yifan's song was surprisingly easy. With his earphones in and his eyes closed Yixing allowed the gentle voice to wash over him. The voice sounded familiar and yet so strangely foreign. He had heard Yifan sing, in the silence of their dorm at night, when he thought the others were sleeping and no one listened, but even then he had sounded different. This was undeniably a studio recording, a clear vocal track with background music that started out unobtrusive and rose a bit towards the chorus part, just to fall back off afterwards. And it sounded amazingly good.
Having listened to Yifan's rendition of All Of Me-way more often than Yixing would like to admit-had prepared Yixing for Yifan's high notes, but he still ended up being amazed by how long Yifan was able to hold a clear note.
It took Yixing a moment to get back to reality once the last piano sound had faded off. He just kept staring at his phone, at the small picture of Yifan in the upper corner. The last seconds of the song still resounded within his head, and he gave in to the temptation to start the song again.
On the first replay he read the lyrics along. He had heard that Yifan had been involved in the composition and writing of the lyrics to the song, and it was easy for Yixing to pick out the traces of Yifan in the lines he sang. They had both sat together often enough for Yixing to know the way the other ran words through his head. The sentences had a certain simplicity to them, one that made them sound really beautiful when sung though.
That morning on the couch Yixing lost his sense of time as he replayed the song over and over again. He only stopped when Jongdae walked in on him, halting his steps when he saw Yixing lounging on the couch. For a moment he looked startled to see the elder, but then he muttered a quick good morning before proceeding to the kitchen, to fetch himself something from the fridge as breakfast.
Knowing that Jongdae being awake was most likely a sign that the rest of the members would be up and about soon as well, Yixing closed Weibo and joined Jongdae in the kitchen.
He was perched on a stool by their kitchen counter when his phone vibrated in his pants. Half expecting it to be Yifan's answer, Yixing pulled it out, but the screen showed Luhan's name instead of Yifan's.
From Luhan:
Be careful to not start humming along while you're in public.
To Luhan:
Hum along to what?
From Luhan:
No need to play dumb, Xing. I know you've listened to Yifan's song already. And I bet not only once.
Yixing pouted at his phone, uncaring of the fact that Luhan couldn't see his expression.
To Luhan:
How would you know?
From Luhan:
I know you.
----
Sweat was running down the side of Yixing's face when he came to a halt, finally allowed to catch his breath. Their dance training was rigorous these days. They had a few days with close to no schedule until they would depart to Japan for their concerts, and with their comeback coming closer and closer, it was a perfect opportunity to get some practice done during the downtime. Yixing was alone with Minseok in the dance studio. They had had a group dance practice slot in the morning and another one in the afternoon. Right now they had separated, pursuing their individual training alone or in smaller groups.
"Okay, not bad." Minseok panted, throwing a water bottle at Yixing who caught it with practiced ease. With his mouth occupied with the water, Yixing simply hummed in agreement, before reaching for the towel that was lazily tossed over his backpack.
He was just about to suggest they continue, when Minseok's phone buzzed. "That lazybones, he could very well have come to ask in person..." he muttered to himself while reading the text, then looked up to Yixing. "Chanyeol's writing they're going to get dinner now. You coming with us?"
If it had been any other day, Yixing would most likely have agreed, if only for the sake of the member's company, but a quick glance to the clock told him that it was almost time, so he answered with a shake of his head. "No thanks, I'll pass. I'll rather keep on practicing."
"You sure?" Minseok asked, eyeing him warily. Despite looking as if he was one of the youngest, Minseok usually acted his real age, constantly looking out for the other members with a sense of parental concern. And while he was very strict on himself if it came to dieting, he generally tried to remind the other members that proper eating was important, and practice shouldn't be too excessive.
"I'm not that hungry anyway." Yixing assured, though he knew that wasn't a very reliable statement coming from him.
Minseok's eyes showed his want to be more assertive, to try harder to get Yixing to take a break and get some dinner. But it was a well known fact that if Yixing set his mind on something, he could be a lot more stubborn than one might suspect.
"Okay, I'll see you later then. Don't overdo it." Minseok gave in, collecting his things and giving Yixing a brotherly pat on the shoulder as he went to leave. If Luhan would have still been there, he might have been persistent enough to get Yixing to cave in. But while Yixing and Minseok had grown close in the years they spent together, the older wasn't as close to him as Luhan was.
Yixing knew that Minseok worried about how he dealt with Luhan's departure. He was extra attentive to Yixing, while at the same time trying to not pressure him too much, something Yixing greatly appreciated.
It was obvious, that Yixing threw himself into work even harder than usual these days. They just all had different ways of coping.
Tao got himself a dog-an adorable dog, that would end up being spoilt rotten between Tao, Sehun and Jongin-to distract himself from or perhaps even somehow replace Luhan.
Minseok himself spent as much time over his Chinese textbooks as he could find between comeback practices and their last concerts, studying more than Yixing had seen him do the past two years. The eldest never admitted it openly to Yixing, but the walls in their dorm were thin, and with his room being right beside Minseok's he couldn't help catching small parts of hushed conversations in the silence of the night.
Even Minseok's late night phone talks with Luhan were used for Chinese lessons. "The better my Chinese the more Chinese variety shows I'll be able to do." he silently confessed to Luhan one night with an embarrassed chuckle. If it was so he simply could be in the same country as Luhan, or if he was hoping for them to be on one together actually, he didn't clarify, but Yixing knew Minseok would most likely be fine with either way.
And Yixing himself, his method of coping hadn't changed ever since, it was still the same as always. The only appropriate way for him to deal with emotional turmoil was work, work, and even more work. Writing songs, singing, dancing, little food, little sleep. It might not be the healthiest of coping mechanisms, but when he was completely worn out, his mind didn't have the opportunity to occupy itself with unwanted thoughts.
Tonight he had different plans though. Today wasn't just any other day. Instead of restarting the music and throwing himself back into dancing, he decided to head for the showers and change into fresh clothes.
As soon as he was finished, he went up a floor to search for an empty individual practice room. They were small, hardly big enough to accommodate three people, but they were soundproof since their purpose was to give the artists a place to either practice their singing or to simply focus on their individual task without any distractions.
It was easy to find an empty room at this hour, when many artists where at the cafeteria, eating dinner.
Inside, Yixing sat down facing the door, so that anyone looking inside would be unable to see what he was looking at on the IPad he pulled out of his backpack.
Even though the situation was very different from months ago when he had lastly watched a similar video in secret, he felt strangely reminiscent of that day. But this time he was a lot more at ease. It wasn't as if he would blatantly go around announcing what he was doing, but he also didn't care that much if anyone found out. He suspected most of the members knew either way.
As soon as he had unlocked the tablet and found the correct website, it was already a few minutes past nine, but apparently the event hadn't even fully started yet. He watched Yifan's friends talk about Yifan, how they met him, what he was like back when they were young.
Yixing had met Bingyang a few times in the passing, when the other and Yifan would meet up at their dorm before heading out. Pre-debut, when Luhan hadn't yet joined SM, Yifan would occasionally invite Yixing along. Having the opportunity to talk Chinese always was a relieve, but Yixing was focused on his training way more than he was on making friends, and so Bingyang always stayed Yifan's friend and never really became more than an acquaintance to Yixing.
He mused it was better that way.
Caught up in distant memories, Yixing almost didn't notice he had spaced out, but the face he had been waiting for without even realizing it brought him back to the present. Yifan was sneaking up on his friend, and his smile gave Yixing a surprisingly painful pang at the lost familiarity of it. Only then did Yixing realize how long it had been since he had last seen Yifan's smile.
He had seen some of his promo pictures, had watched Yifan's performance of All of Me at the press conference for his movie, but on all these occasions Yifan had been professional. Right there, in the video, he was casual, his usual playful self around his friends. Texting with him, Yixing had often been able to see Yifan's smile in his written words, but it was something entirely different to really see it again.
He hadn't noticed how much he missed that smile. And when Yifan finally entered the stage and commenced his little interview, Yixing also noticed how much he had missed his voice.
Slouching down a bit Yixing made sure to sit comfortably, before placing the tablet on his legs and pulling his phone out. Yifan was live, he was talking and moving at that moment in Beijing while Yixing was watching from Seoul. So Yixing reasoned it was stupid to write Yifan. He would obviously not get his messages, but seeing him made it impossible for Yixing to stay silent.
The next hour and a half Yixing spent snickering and grinning to himself, writing his comments for Yifan to find as soon as he got a hold of his phone after his birthday event was over.
He teased Yifan about how kissing was easier for him than crying, sneered at the drawing that was supposed to be an alpaca-if anything that was a sheep, alpacas had long necks the last time he checked-and mockingly admired his posing skills, especially what a pretty princess Yifan was, and what a shame it was he didn't want to be a princess again.
Before Yixing knew it, the event was already pulling to a close. Seeing Yifan getting all chocked up while receiving his birthday wishes had probably been the hardest part for Yixing. Wanting to comment on it, but being unable to find the right words, Yixing had spent minutes staring at his phone's screen blankly. Only when Yifan and his friends began to sing Yifan's new song, did he force himself to write the word he felt were right.
To Yifan:
I think you made the right choice for yourself.
It hurt to admit it, but it was the truth, and Yixing believed that while Yifan's decision hurt a lot of people, for him it was the only feasible way to go.
By the end of the event Yixing had sent more than 30 messages, he estimated, and for a moment he panicked when the MC announced that they would bring Yifan his phone for taking a selfie.
Yifan's face was hidden from view the second he first looked at the screen, but the blink of an eye later his expression didn't seem to have changed at all. Yixing guessed that the elder had put his phone into flight mode, so that he wouldn't be disturbed during the filming.
It was nearing 11pm, and Yixing bet his muscles would be stiff as hell after sitting crouched on the floor for almost two hours, but he found he couldn't move yet when he saw Yifan's smile. The video was a bad quality, filming the screen that was filming Yifan, but Yixing could still tell that Yifan looked so happy, and Yixing tried his hardest to burn the picture into his inner eye, because this smile made him feel a bit lighter and he wanted to remember it.
Overcome with feelings he reached for his phone to write his last message for the night.
To Yifan:
Happy birthday, you idiot.
---
Yixing didn't know how late it was when he finally collapsed into bed, but it had to be quite late. After the training the whole day he was positively beat, but his head still had troubles coming to a halt. Ever since he had seen Yifan it had been buzzing, though he could not even pinpoint what he was thinking about.
Just as his eyelids started dropping, his phone buzzed on his nightstand. The noise startled Yixing, and he quickly reached out for the device, so that it wouldn't wake up the rest of the dorm. He expected it to be a text message, but the vibrations didn't stop. When he looked at the screen, Yixing's heart skipped an involuntary beat, and without even meaning to he instantly answered the call.
Thin walls, he reminded himself, but his throat was unable to produce any sound either way.
It wasn't as if he needed to though, because as soon as the call connected a familiar voice droned through his speakers.
"Yixing, you little spammer." Yifan followed his rather unconventional greeting up with a bout of not so silent snickering, and Yixing started placing the pieces together.
"Yifan, are you drunk?" He asked a bit hesitantly, because the other certainly sounded like it.
"I am not." Yifan denied, and Yixing could basically hear the pout in his words. He simply snorted in disbelief, making Yifan laugh meekly and add: "Okay okay, Ray might have forced me to drink a bit with him, but I'm still sober, I swear."
"It's your birthday, so I guess I'll believe you." Yixing admonished, before frowning in thought. "Though technically it isn't anymore, I guess."
Yifan's laughter rang through the line, bright and merry, and Yixing could feel his heart hammer against his ribcage with excitement at the sound. "Cut me some slack, please."
For a moment the younger contemplated, but in the end he decided to switch from teasing to serious. It felt great to be able to tease Yifan, almost as if their friendship was back to the way it used to be, but it wasn't yet, and Yixing didn't want to let himself be fooled by Yifan's not-entirely-sober-but-also-not-drunk-yet's self.
"Why are you calling, Yifan?" He asked instead, making sure to whisper, hoping that none of his bandmates had been awoken by his talking.
A short pause on the other end of the line. Yixing could make out hushed conversations, and street noises, drowned out but still audible in the background. It made Yixing wonder if Yifan was currently outside, but before he would ask any more questions he wanted an answer to his first one.
It was weird, talking to Yifan over the phone. Only then did Yixing realize that it was probably the first time they had ever talked over the phone. After they had met each other and got close, they had never been apart for long enough to rise the desire to call each other, and even if they'd been separated for a while, there always was the certainty that they would be back together soon enough to make texts be more than enough to stay in contact.
"Hearing your voice was nice." Yifan finally admitted, breaking the silence between them. Right then he truly sounded sober to Yixing, almost melancholic. And Yixing could relate all too well to that feeling.
"Same here." he confessed in turn. Even though Beijing and Seoul were more than 950km apart Yixing felt so close to Yifan all of a sudden that it caught him a bit off-guard, making him change the topic. "I watched your birthday event today."
Yifan's chuckle reached his ears. "I guessed as much. You seem to have enjoyed it."
Glad that the mood was back to being a bit lighter, Yixing chuckled as well. "How would you've guessed?"
"Well, I guess turning the flight mode off and receiving dozens of messages from you might have given you away."
Another muffled laugh on Yixing's side. In a way he felt ridiculous to be all smiles and laughter over such a simple thing as Yifan talking to him, but he decided he felt too happy about it to really care. "Of course I'd enjoy watching you trying to act all cool and failing."
"Not fair." Yifan whined, making Yixing's grin stretch even wider. "I was being perfectly cool, not failing at it."
"Sure you were." Yixing replied, the mocking obvious in his voice, and for a moment they both enjoyed their silent laughter.
"Where are you right now?" Yixing finally asked, trying to find some innocuous topic to talk about.
"On the balcony, at some club. Ray recommended it, it's fun, but not really my style. Why're you asking?"
"No reason. I only thought I heard some mute beats in the background." Yixing explained, finally leaning back into his pillows so that his gaze was cast on the white, nondescript ceiling. "I listened to your song." He added, almost as an afterthought.
"You did?" It might have been Yixing's imagination, but Yifan almost sounded nervous. "What did you think?"
"It was good. Really good. For your first song, I think it really suits you." Yixing kept the fact that he had listened to it on repeat for at least half an hour to himself on purpose. No need to feed Yifan's ego that much.
But the relieved sounding sigh almost made him wish he did say it.
"Hearing you say that really means a lot to me, Yixing." Yifan silently confessed, and Yixing awkwardly didn't know how to answer, so he simply hummed understandingly.
"Where did you listen to it though?" Yifan wondered, as if he had only just thought the matter through.
"Weibo, obviously."
The answering laugh sounded disbelieving and amused at the same time. "But you weren't logged in, were you?"
"Of course I was. Have you already forgotten that I always check my Weibo first thing in the morning?" Yixing had half the mind to be offended by the other's obliviousness, but was too confused by Yifan's question.
"Other's will know." The low voice explained, and finally it dawned on Yixing. He had been the oblivious one, not remembering that people could see who had recently listened to which music on Weibo. Yixing contemplated panicking, but he found he didn't care. It wasn't like him to openly rebel, to go and shout his support for Yifan from the rooftops, but this had been no official statement, just him listening to a song that was hyped and that he was curious about.
"I don't care." He iterated his thoughts to Yifan, "I don't care if anyone knows. It's a good song, you did well, and everyone who cares to look may know I listened to it."
"... Thank you." Yifan's voice was soft and silent.
His gentleness and wistfulness were what pushed Yixing to say what he hadn't even realized himself he wanted to say. "There's just one thing wrong with that song."
"I don't think there's only one thing about this song that people might not like. But what do you mean?" Yifan almost sounded cautious. He said it himself, his song was like his son, and even if one wanted to improve as an artist, one never liked one's children to be criticized. Yixing could relate to that very well.
So he gathered his courage, and steeled himself for what he was about to say. "The only thing that's wrong with this song is-" he didn't mean to pause for a dramatic effect, but he was still wondering if it wouldn't be better to stay silent, and he had to force the rest of the sentence out. "-that it doesn't have both our names written below it."
He heard Yifan exhale, as if he had warded himself for a blow that never came. "Yixing..."
"No, I understand why it is this way. It just makes me wonder, if things would have gone differently, would it have been the both of us releasing a song around this time? After all the nights we spent together, composing and writing lyrics."
Yifan's breathing was the only sound coming through the line. Even without seeing him Yixing knew the other was currently collecting his thoughts. "I wish we could have. And one day we will. When enough time has passed to make a collaboration possible, we will both be featured on the artist tag."
The resolution of Yifan's statement almost made Yixing believe it. It made him want to believe it.
"One day?"
"One day. For sure."
Though Yifan couldn't see him, Yixing nodded to himself. It felt weird to see the person he had worked together with for years go and do the same thing on their own, or perhaps even worse, with someone else, but he still felt content with having a goal to look forward to.
They talked for way longer than Yixing had anticipated, and when they finally decided it was time to hang up, they were both reluctant, but Yixing had to catch at least a little sleep and Yifan's friends were most likely already wondering where he went.
"Talk to you soon?" Yifan asked, sounding so hopeful that there would have been no way for Yixing to turn him down.
"I'd love that."
And it was the truth. If there was one thing the call had shown Yixing, it was that talking to Yifan still felt like home to him, and still managed to settle him, even after all this time.
When Yixing finally laid down in his bed, the phone placed on his nightstand and the moon shining through his windows, there was just one thought in his mind as he fell asleep.
One day.
~.~.~.~.~
A/N: I was a bit hesistant about posting this, because it was meant to be written and posted at least close to Yifan's birthday, but I'm a horribly slow writer these days. I contemplated letting it rot forever on my harddrive, but since I already wrote it, I thought there would be no harm done in posting it anyway. ALSO I NEEDED SOME WAY TO DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT YIXING APPARENTLY REALLY LISTENED TO YIFAN'S SONG! Still feels too good to be true.
Anyways, I never intended to write another installment in my personal headcanon verse of Uncut Ties, but it happened, and I can't promise it won't happen again. Whenever something big happens to Yifan or Yixing I'm usually overcome with Fanxing feels, but I haven't got anything concrete planned right now.