A Song For You
Title: A Song For You
Pairings: Fanxing
Rating: PG
Warning: I managed to get myself emotional with this one, does that say something?
Length: 1658 words
Summary: Old habits die hard, and when Yixing is hurt he still comes to Yifan.
A/N: Set in my Uncut Ties verse. I’ve had this headcanon for a while and surprisingly enough this isn’t Maine’s fault for a change but Anna’s instead. I didn’t want to write anything not kissfanxing related until the middle of February, but I am simply the worst impulsive writer ever.
A Song For You
From Yixing:
Yifan, are you free?
The text surprised Yifan, because just that morning Yixing had told him he would be attending some SM-related event, and wouldn’t be free for all of the evening. It was just past 6pm, there was no way the other was already back from it. His forehead furrowed as he quickly typed out a reply.
To Yixing:
I’m on the way back from promo rn, should be at the hotel in roughly half an hour. Why?
He kept watching his phone intently while waiting for Yixing to reply. His eyebrows scrunched together when the icon that the other was writing appeared, just to disappear again a few seconds later. The same thing happened again for a couple more times, and by that point the feeling that something was wrong had already settled in the pit of his stomach. He really didn’t know many occasions that made Yixing reconsider what he said, and most of these weren’t good occasions.
He was just about to text the other that he was starting to get worried, when finally an answer plopped up on the screen.
From Yixing:
I’ll tell you later. Can you call me when you’re free?
It wasn’t as if Yifan really had expected to get a satisfactory answer, but the text didn’t help whatsoever in appeasing his anxiousness.
To Yixing:
Sure.
His phone was silent for the rest of the ride, and Yifan wasn’t exactly surprised by it. There was nothing he wanted more than to pester Yixing until the other would tell him what was wrong, why they needed to talk as soon as possible. If they talked, they usually did it in the dead of the night, when it was less likely for them to be discovered.
To Jinglei Jiejie:
I’m sorry, I don’t know if I’ll join you tonight. I’m still not feeling that well. Perhaps after resting a little I’ll catch up with you guys.
All of the cast had promised to go out to some local restaurant that evening, but Yifan felt as if he’d not be able to make it. Just a few moments after he received a reply, telling him to rest and take care of himself, because they still had some promo activities ahead of them and Jinglei couldn’t have her lead actor fall sick during it.
A short smile grazed Yifan’s lips at the message, but then the purpose for his cancelling resurfaced again. He leaned his cheek against the cool window of the car, and watched the city lights passing by him, thoughts already running wild.
----
Yifan barely took the time to shrug out of his jacket, throwing it carelessly on the bed before pulling his phone out and calling Yixing.
It rang four times, and with ever additional ringing Yifan grew more nervous, but eventually Yixing picked up.
“Hi.” Yifan said, releasing a breath he hadn’t even noticed he’d been holding. He didn’t know why he had been scared that Yixing wouldn’t answer the phone, it was very likely for the other to be in a situation where he couldn’t respond.
“Hi.” Yixing replied, and his voice gave little away of what had prompted his sudden need to contact Yifan. The younger sounded a bit tired, but then again that wasn’t something that special.
“So, you wanted to talk? What happened?” Yifan decided to get right to the point. He really wasn’t in the mood for meaningless small talk, when he was already pacing through the room nervously.
At first the line was silent, then there was a silent sigh and an embarrassed laugh. Yifan knew that laugh. It was Yixing’s equivalent of trying to cover up whatever negative emotion he was feeling at the moment.
“It’s something stupid, really.” Yixing silently admitted, but paused. Yifan gave him time to compose himself, because he knew the other would elaborate without him prompting. “I made a wrong move during practice, and somehow managed to fall on my wrist.”
A plethora of scenarios rushed through Yifan’s mind. If Yixing hadn’t been hurt in any way during that fall he wouldn’t be calling. Or wanting to be called. “Did you already see a doctor? What if it’s broken? You need to take good care of it so it’ll heal properly. Make sure to keep it cool and to rest it.”
Yixing’s silent laugh wafted from his speakers, and the sound somehow managed to calm his worries. “Calm down, it’s all okay. Yes I already was at the hospital, they said it’s only sprained.”
“Ah.” The tension left his body as Yifan slumped down on the armchair by the window. Deep down the worry was still present, because sprains hurt like hell and he wanted to be there with Yixing, but he told himself not to worry too much. He’s okay, it’s okay, it’s just a sprained wrist. He repeated like a mantra to himself, because he knew Yixing hated it if people worried about him. It wasn’t as if Yifan could help it though, and somehow he had made Yixing come to accept it. “That’s good then.”
The other hummed in consent. Silence followed, but Yifan felt that there was something Yixing still wanted to say which he somehow didn’t dare to. It was very similar to seeing the writing icon appear and disappear.
“Does it hurt?” The elder eventually prompted, wondering whether he could get Yixing to talk like that.
“They gave me painkillers, but they’re starting to wear off.” Yixing admitted, his voice sounding a lot more somber than a few moments ago. The other didn’t like admitting to weakness, no matter how indirectly.
Something clicked in Yifan’s mind, and memories of countless times Yixing had been hurt came to his mind. The younger didn’t really like painkillers, because he wanted to endure the pain. Yifan thought he was being ridiculous, but it was already hard enough to get Yixing to talk to him about being hurt either way, so he didn’t pursue the topic.
At one point, he didn’t even remember when, it had become a habit for the younger to seek Yifan when he was in pain. They would just sit down beside each other, and Yifan would start singing to the smaller, in hopes of distracting him. Yixing in turn would close his eyes, and his features would gradually smooth out while Yifan recalled all the melodies they had thought up together, or songs his mother had used to sing to him when he wasn’t feeling well. Sometimes he sang songs that had been stuck on his mind all day. He sang pretty much anything that flitted through his mind, but Yixing never complained, so he continued.
It was almost a reflex to launch into a melody when hearing Yixing was in pain, but he was afraid to suggest it, afraid it would be too pretentious of him to assume that was the reason behind Yixing's call.
So he just let out a small “Oh.”, remaining otherwise silent, and listened to Yixing’s breathing.
“Yifan?” The younger eventually piped up.
“Yes?”
“Can you sing for me?” Yixing’s request was barely more than a whisper, and if the quality of the call had been just the slightest bit worse he might have missed it. His heart started picking up its pace in reaction.
“What song do you want?” He asked, and tried to swallow down his nerves.
“Anything is fine, really.” Yixing said, another silent sigh escaping him. Yifan heard a soft thud, and he could easily picture Yixing in the solitude of his room, eyes closed and leaning his head against the wall in defeat.
He didn’t reply anything, for fear of making Yixing change his mind, making him regret calling Yifan.
For a moment he wracked his mind for an appropriate tune, but before he could panic because he was drawing a blank, he took a deep breath.
The first thing you recall he told himself, as he relaxed, and just opened his mouth.
“I can see your eyes, casted up towards the horizon, A street corner without people, an embrace without sound, the quiet love that is burning.*” He sang, the lyrics so familiar on his tongue with how long he had mulled over them, had tweaked and changed them until he was satisfied with the result. Back then he hadn’t dared hoping he would get to sing them to Yixing.
While he sung he could hear Yixing’s heavy breaths, growing slower and slower as the younger relaxed. The song was new, but at the same time Yifan felt exactly like back then when he had sung for Yixing. His heart swelled with the knowledge that Yixing trusted him enough to come to him, and even more important, that apparently his voice was enough to soothe his pain.
“Reminiscing the beautiful times that were lost, There’s somewhere, Only you and I know, I know, that only we know…*” The last words left his mouth in what was almost a contemplative whisper.
He only noticed he had closed his eyes when he had to reopen them. The other end of the line was filled with silence, then Yixing took one deeper breath as if he had only just awoken.
“Thank you, Fan.” The younger whispered, and Yifan could hear his gentle smile in his voice. It didn’t escape him that Yixing was using the old nickname, and he couldn’t help the warmth from spreading in his body at the sound of it.
“No problem. You know I’m always there for you.” Yifan wondered if he had crossed a line by saying that, but the atmosphere had just caught him. And whenever Yixing was wounded he tended to get a little bit more sentimental himself.
“Yes I do.” The answer was hardly more than a breath of air, as if Yixing was thinking loudly to himself rather than replying. “Can you keep on singing for a little bit longer?” He added in a louder voice.
There was no way for Yifan to reject that request.
~.~.~.~.~
A/N: I'm sorry.
* Translations to 有一个地方 taken from Yifanfengshun.