In All Honesty
Title: In All Honesty
Pairing: Fanxing, Xiuhan, Onesided!Chanxing
Rating: PG to R
Length: Between ~500w and ~1250w
Summary: If Yifan was being completely honest, he was always lying when asked about his hobby. He had to, after all, because it would most likely not have been acceptable to simply answer Yixing. - A series of college drabbles revolving around a look behind the façade.
A/N: These were part of my Fanxing Anon time as well, and kind of accidentally turned into a "drabble"-series set in the same universe. I would love to get around to do drabbles for the remaining members as well, but my WIP folder is bursting and this is really low on my priority list. So for now only five drabbles.
( Yifan) ( Yixing) ( Jongdae) ( Minseok) ( Chanyeol)
01 - Yifan's Wishful Thinking (531w, R)
Warning: Inexplicit mentions of sexual acts
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If Yifan was being completely honest, he was always lying when asked about his hobby. He had to, after all, because it would most likely not have been acceptable to simply answer Yixing.
And yet it would have been right.
The smaller was everything, making him laugh, making him smile, making him gasp and moan and groan and keen. If Yifan would have had any say in the matter, he would have spent all of his time worshipping every single centimeter of Yixing.
He would run his tongue over the planes of Yixing’s body, drinking in the shivers and moans, mapping out every dip and raise. Until the younger would fist his hands into Yifan’s hair, asking him in a broken voice, breathless from his panting, to finally go ahead and move to where Yixing wanted, needed him to be.
Only when desperation coloured the movement of Yixing’s hips and the tinge of his voice, would Yifan move down to let his tongue discover more intimate places.
While he was be busy tasting Yixing inside out he would commit all of his sounds to memory, so that the ecstatic noises would forever be etched into his mind. From every mewl to every scream, to every beg that left those plush lips. Yifan felt every production of Yixing's vocal chords like a physical touch, sending shivers through his whole body.
If Yifan would have his way, he would never let Yixing go. He would simply keep the younger in their bed, to explore well-known territory.
"Yifan? Have you been listening?"
Yifan's head snapped up, gaze lifting from pale collarbones to look at big brown eyes, looking at him questioningly. "Huh?" He released very unintelligently, and Yixing just shook his head in fond exasperation.
"And people say I'm absent-minded. Your notes. You promised to let me check my answers with yours." The younger reminded Yifan, holding his hand out demandingly.
"Oh, yeah, sure." Yifan answered, immediately bending down to fetch his backpack.
The notes Yixing had asked for were right at the front of his bag, so he thankfully didn’t have to spend an embarrassingly long amount of time looking for them.
"Here you go." He silently said as he handed the papers over.
"Better wake up, sleeping beauty, lecture's going to start soon and you don't want to be caught napping." Yixing declared with a chuckle, already thumbing through the sheets and turning back to the front, to compare his own notes with Yifan's before their professor would walk in.
When Yifan was sure Yixing's attention was thoroughly captured by their homework, he released a silent, wistful sigh. His daydreaming really didn't help him with appreciating the dab classroom and boring lectures any further.
After all, Yifan couldn't have his way. College really could be a pain in the ass.
Especially since it turned Yifan into a liar with every single introductory round. But Yifan simply couldn't admit that his hobby was Yixing.
So he simply continued to value that truth behind locked doors, together with the only person that really mattered for him either way.
If Yifan was being completely honest, Yixing was the only person he couldn't stand lying to.
02 - Yixing's Priorities (861w, R)
Warning: Inexplicit mentions of sexual acts
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If Yixing was being completely honest, he was always lying when asked about his priorities. Or no, that wasn't true, he hadn't always been lying when he had answered with a good education, wanting to honour his family or to achieve the best he possibly could in every field he tackled. All of these had been honest answers.
Until he met Yifan.
He had not expected that his world could shift so fundamentally, that one person could suddenly turn his honest answers into lies. Because suddenly Yifan was everything.
Yifan was everywhere for Yixing, in every flavour, every scent, every feeling, every noise.
The way he would smile at Yixing, gums showing, whenever he caught the smaller's gaze on him.
The way he would always know when Yixing was feeling insecure or lonely because he was away from his parents and grandparents, even without the younger saying anything. The way he would wordlessly hug Yixing close, just reassuring him with his presence that it was okay, that Yifan was there, that he knew and understood.
The way all of his touches were comforting and electrifying at the same time, riling him up, making him yearn for more.
The way Yifan knew all the places that would make Yixing arch his back and keen, and the way he would always take his sweet time teasing these spots even if they both were dying from desperation and need.
Yifan knew exactly how to keep him on the edge without tipping him either way, but in return Yixing knew what sort of noises made Yifan weak, and what sort of clothes did. He might be at the taller’s mercy during sex, but Yixing knew how to have the upper hand at all other times. Even though that control was just a weak façade at most times.
"Oi Yixing, did you find the answer for problem 7 yet?" Yifan really only used the question as an opportunity to sidle up closer to Yixing.
The elder was probably thinking he was being surreptitious, but Yixing had been in a relationship with Yifan for long enough to know his tactics. Yet he decided to indulge his boyfriend.
"I think I might have an idea." he replied, moving his notes between them and beside the book, starting to explain the first few rows of numbers he had noted down.
While he was talking, Yifan was continuously edging closer; first brushing his hand along Yixing's arm, then resting it on the smaller’s hip as he leaned in.
"Is someone in need of their glasses?" Yixing teased as Yifan’s proximity allowed the elder to rest his head on Yixing's shoulder, one arm wound around his boyfriend’s waist in a sideways hug.
" 'm not." Yifan murmured, eyes still fixed on the book in Yixing's hands as if he was seriously interested in it. "All the studying is just draining all of my power."
"Well, you can write that down as an excuse on your exam, but I don't think our prof will let it count." Yixing noted, eyes on the dash of blond hair on his shoulder.
"But we've already done so much studying." Yifan whined lowly, and the younger had to bite back a chuckle. He couldn't show any weakness now.
"Yifan." He said with all sternness he could muster. "This is an important test, we really have to pass that one and we haven't even managed to get through half of the material yet."
Yifan sighed, and Yixing was half-convinced that the way his warm breath ghosted over Yixing's neck was on purpose.
"Can't I convince you of a short break?" The taller asked in a whisper, turning his head to press small kisses to Yixing's neck.
And Yixing knew there was nothing he wanted more than to tilt his head to give the elder better access, or to alternatively turn his head to claim proper kisses, but he told himself that he had to refrain from following through on the urge. Before he could focus on Yifan, he had to get through with his education.
It scared him to admit how deep in he was with Yifan, how much the other dominated his mind and longings.
It was much easier to hold onto the goals of his younger self, the before-Yifan-self, than to focus on how much his world had shifted. He wanted to complete his studies as fast as possible so he would finally be able to make everything Yifan his proper priority afterwards.
He had to admit though that even now, his every decision, his every thought, centered around Yifan already. He was weak to Yifan, so without even meaning to he found himself leaning back into the other's touch, letting out soft noises. His hold of the textbook went slack.
Because no matter how sound his reasoning was, that now he had to focus on education first and love later, his subconsciousness always managed to drive him right into Yifan's arms.
If Yixing was being completely honest, it was no lie that education, family honour and ambition were constantly on the forefront of his mind, but they simply didn't stand a chance against Yifan.
03 - The Hard Life of Kim Jongdae, Roommate of Horny Zhang Yixing (1155w, R)
Warning: Very vague implications of sexual acts
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If Jongdae was being completely honest, he regretted ever getting a room with Yixing.
At first he couldn't believe his luck of getting such a cute, well-mannered roommate. Yixing neither seemed to be bent on drinking nor smoking nor excessive partying.
If anything, he might be a bit boring for Jongdae's taste, but he'd rather push his roommate into a more life-affirming direction than to keep him from running off the cliff of self-destruction. It would ensure him a relaxed dorm life, he had thought.
Oh how mistaken he had been.
It wasn't that he really was wrong about Yixing per se. The mild-mannered brunet was very pleasant company, always neat if a bit forgetful, but Jongdae quickly got the hang of checking pots for electronic devices like music players before putting them on the stove, finding keys in the freezer or phones in the fridge.
When Yixing wasn't at his desk, studying (which wasn't that often in the beginning), he was a nice conversationalist.
All in all everything had been perfect in the beginning, and Jongdae was so happy about it when he heard tales about how Kyungsoo was seconds from strangling the overactive giant he had been forced to room with.
Then Yixing met Yifan.
The first time Jongdae met Yifan was it was him instead of Yixing forgetting his room keys for a change. Upon knocking he was suddenly faced with an unfamiliar person when the door swung back.
Yifan was intimidating on first glance, very much so.
His expression combined with his towering height made Jongdae take a step back from the door immediately, eyes darting to the number plate beside the doorframe to re-check whether he was at the right room.
The number fit however, and while Jongdae was still busy being rooted to the spot, Yixing appeared behind Yifan, pushing the tall blond away from the doorframe with an embarrassed chuckle, clearing the way for Jongdae to enter.
"I'm sorry Jongdae, this is a friend, Yifan, from my trigonometry course. I invited him over to study." Yixing explained, rubbing the back of his neck in a way that Jongdae knew meant he was flustered.
At being introduced Yifan bowed slightly, and repeated his name to Jongdae in a low voice. Jongdae, still a bit dumbfounded, returned the gesture and replied with his name.
In hindsight he should have known what was to come. He had already noticed the glances they threw each other back then.
So really, it was Yifan who set it all off, the reason for all of Jongdae’s despair.
Yifan was no bad guy actually. He was intimidating, for sure, and seemed distanced and arrogant at first, but he hardly could either of these things with how easily Yixing could get him all blushing and flustered.
Truthfully, it was neither Yifan, nor Yixing, but rather the combination of both that set Jongdae off, that made him regret the roommate sorting he had initially considered to be his lucky draw.
It started from the first time he walked in on Yifan kissing the living daylights out of a Yixing that was seated on their kitchen counter, legs wound loosely around Yifan's.
That moment they had still jumped apart as soon as they noticed his presence, all flustered and full of apologies.
Jongdae reasoned that he was the first one to know about Yifan and Yixing dating, perhaps even before these two themselves knew.
However after that incident things deteriorated.
Not-so-secretly stolen kisses quickly turned into not-so-hidden heated make-out sessions on their couch. After the third time Jongdae had walked in on Yixing being bent in a way he hadn't known the human body could actually bent in without harm (all that stretching from dancing did seem to have its advantages) Jongdae was already past the point of where he was questioning if he'd really had a lucky draw and had entered the state where he instead considered himself mentally scared.
After that third time Yifan and Yixing learned to retreat to the supposed secrecy of Yixing's room, but even though Jongdae wanted to be grateful for that, their dorm walls were thin. And while Jongdae could have very well done without the knowledge, he came to discover that Yixing was not exactly a silent person in bed. Either that or Yifan had a way of turning the younger vocal.
Whenever Yifan came over, Jongdae could be sure that at one point Yixing's moans and breathless chants of Yifan's name would start echoing through their flat, continuously increasing in volume until they’d crescendo with broken off screams.
"Min, Yifan is over again, can I come to your place? ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ Take pity on your cute dongsaeng please. ㅠㅠㅠㅠ" He texted Minseok when he heard the telltale soft mewling sounds that usually started it all off.
"... Sure you can. As long as you don't mind that Luhan will be over." His phone told him seconds later, and Jongdae was out to head for his friend's place within the blink of an eye.
Silently he noted that it would be more likely that Luhan would be the one minding his presence than the other way round, but he didn't know whether Minseok was being blind for the other's affections on purpose. So he rather didn’t voice these thoughts out loud. Wouldn't want to risk being banished from his sanctuary.
Jongdae initially had thought that Yifan was the perpetually horny one who simply always managed to seduce Yixing, but he had quickly come to reconsider that view.
The only valid explanation for the fact that he had to flee from their flat as often as he did was that both males were about equally horny. And as much as Jongdae was exasperated at Yixing's constant sex drive around Yifan, he couldn't deny that the other was still just as apologetic as when Jongdae had first walked in on him on that kitchen counter.
Every morning after Yifan had stayed over, Jongdae would wake up to pancakes and fresh coffee on the kitchen table. When Yixing had first greeted him with them in the morning, Jongdae had looked from the breakfast to Yixing and back, before asking: "Are these 'I'm sorry I have sex and you don't'-pancakes?"
Yixing had looked even more embarrassed, but when Jongdae had cracked a lopsided grin while sinking down on a chair to start digging in, the brunet had dared smiling back.
The apology-pancakes Yixing made were always great, and Jongdae had a hard time defending them against Yifan. Though the elder usually accepted defeat when Jongdae argued that Yifan certainly didn't have any right to eat "I'm sorry I have sex and you don't"-pancakes, and that he should go ask for his own "Thank you for the sex"-pancakes instead.
If Jongdae was being completely honest, even though he had a hard time remembering over Yixing's moans sometimes, Yixing was the best roommate Jongdae could have wished for.
04 - Minseok's Hidden Motifs (707w, PG)
If Minseok was being completely honest, Luhan wouldn't even have needed to try so hard to win him over. Minseok had been smitten from the first time he laid eyes on that pretty face, gentle smile quickly turning into an impressively obnoxious distortion of features as Luhan laughed loudly.
A connection between baby-faced seniors, Jongdae had called it, and perhaps it was. Perhaps Minseok was trying to see a bit of himself in the boy who seemed to be so at ease in his own skin. Perhaps it was also the genuine character he had seen below that pretty face from the first few sentences they exchanged, revealing a surprisingly shy personality.
They didn't only share the same age, they shared a lot of hobbies as well.
Meeting in their college's soccer team it had been a given for both of them to like soccer, but they even had the same favourite team. On top of that Luhan seemed to be interested in coffee as well, though he might not be as passionate as Minseok about it.
Admittedly, it was really hard to be as passionate about coffee as Minseok was, but whenever he started to going on and on about coffee, Luhan would listen attentively and seemingly with enthusiasm. If it was just because he was interested in Minseok, or because he genuinely loved coffee to a similar degree, Minseok couldn't exactly tell. But it was great to have a listener to his coffee-fanboying, so he didn't care that much.
Luhan himself seemed like a contradiction to Minseok at some times either way.
Usually the other was shy, especially when faced with someone he didn't know, but at the same time he seemed to warm up very quickly to people. And as soon as that happened, he was very open about his affections, almost shameless in his actions, as Minseok had come to discover.
"Luhan? Jongdae's coming over." Minseok called from his desk to the male lounging on his bed, reading one of these comic books.
Immediately a head covered with honey-coloured locks snapped up.
"Jongdae? Why?" Luhan asked, sounding only a hairbreadth away from whining.
Internally Minseok grinned, but he still pretended to not notice the whiny tone, instead scrunching up his face in a concerned half-frown. "Do you mind? Yifan’s apparently over at their place again, and Jongdae can't really deal well with the background noises that causes."
Luhan heaved a sigh he probably believed to be shallow enough to go unnoticed, but with his glasses on, Minseok's sight was impeccable. And his hearing had always been good as well, so he easily caught the muttered "That cockblock." from his friend.
He wasn't exactly sure if he was referring to Jongdae cockblocking himself or Yifan, but the former was much more likely.
"Don't mind it." The younger answered louder eventually, sounding nonchalant, but Minseok knew better.
"Okay, got it. He's on his way."
"Perfect." Luhan murmured, turning onto his back and putting the book beside him to be able to properly face Minseok.
"Do you think I should have some talk with Yifan about what sort of sex-drive is healthy and what sort isn't?" He suggested, raising one eyebrow for emphasis.
Minseok immediately waved the idea off. "Don't bother him. You should be happy for Yifan to have found Yixing, they seem to go together quite well. And Jongdae is my friend, I don't mind having him over."
When Jongdae actually arrived, Luhan greeted him happily, but whenever he thought Minseok wasn't looking, he threw semi-threatening glances at the younger.
In addition Minseok was basically unable to get Luhan off of himself for the duration of Jongdae's visit, the honey-haired male seemingly bent on making sure he was always physically closer to Minseok than Jongdae was.
It took a lot of effort for Minseok to keep the smile off his face at Luhan's antics.
Knowing of his shy personality, Minseok was even more impressed by Luhan trying so hard to win him over, with his constant presence, warding off potential competitors, always complimenting Minseok and staying close to him
He really wouldn't have needed to.
But Minseok enjoyed seeing him trying, so he refrained himself from being honest to Luhan for a little longer.
05 - Chanyeol's Obliviousness (1288w, PG)
If Chanyeol was being completely honest, he would have loved to get closer to Yixing. Ever since he had first laid eyes on the cute brunet in his site design lecture he had been unable to get him out of his head.
Perhaps it was something about the smaller's smile, that made his eyes crinkle and an adorable indentation appear on his right cheek. Perhaps it also was his soft-spoken way, and the calm and smooth sound of his voice when he was talking.
In a way he was the complete opposite of Chanyeol himself, quiet and thoughtful, all demure demeanour and gentle gestures. Around him Chanyeol didn't know whether to grow silent himself in embarrassment or to start blabbering even wilder than usually for the same reason.
Being sorted to do a group project with the elder had made his heart stop for a moment, before it resumed its task with doubled speed.
All groups had been ordered by their professor to get together to sort out when they would meet up, how they would divide the work for their project and other organizational stuff, and Chanyeol was surprised Yixing even knew his name as he sat down at the brunet's desk.
When Chanyeol accidentally blurted out his surprise, Yixing just chuckled and told him that it was impossible not to know who the taller was, with all the shenanigans he was pulling during class. And since he was constantly talking.
Chanyeol was pretty sure his ears were a fiery red with how much they were burning, but he restrained himself from trying to cover them. He wouldn't want to draw any more attention to his embarrassment.
"I'm sorry." Chanyeol wasn't entirely sure what he was apologizing about. Perhaps just about being so noisy that he was well known for bad behaviour in class, he wondered. But Yixing just waved his concern away, a brilliant smile on his face.
"Oh no, no need to say sorry. I think it's impressive how you always seem to be in such a good mood. Actually I appreciate it. It's kinda contagious." The brunet's smile took on a lopsided quality when he finished, as if he was trusting Chanyeol with a secret. It made the younger shut his mouth and grin widely in return.
When he got back to his room that night he found Kyungsoo in the kitchen, busy with preparing dinner.
He had come to learn that surprisingly it was the most likely for him to stay unharmed while talking a lot, excitedly, when the other was cooking. It was a surprise, because during cooking Kyungsoo was handling all sort of dangerous objects and substances, from hot water and oil to frying pans and knifes. But the smaller claimed that when he was handling ingredients, his mind was so occupied with everything food-related that Chanyeol's voice was hardly more than a background noise and simply substituted music for him.
At the beginning Chanyeol had had half the mind to be offended, but it turned out that even with only a tiny piece of his attention, Kyungsoo was still able to follow everything he said. So that night he used the opportunity to talk about everything on his mind to his roommate, as per usual. Somewhere between his tale about how he and Baekhyun had replaced all the sugar in the sugar shakers with salt and telling Kyungsoo about that cute site design classmate he was doing a project with, the smaller interrupted him.
"Did you say Yixing?" He asked, turning to face Chanyeol with a curious expression, something caught between disbelief and amusement, with perhaps a dash of pity.
It made Chanyeol backtrack everything he had said, before answering with an unsure "Yes?"
"I mean, not as if I'm complaining, but you really want to die, don't you?" Kyungsoo noted with a sort of finality in his voice.
Chanyeol felt a sinking sensation in his stomach in reaction, some sort of worried confusion taking over his previous enthusiasm. "What? Why?" he asked, his voice sounding a lot more timid then he had expected.
If Kyungsoo used that tone had used for asking Chanyeol if he wanted to die, it usually didn't mean anything good, and the small smile he was wearing when he turned his head to look at Chanyeol, that was decidedly disbelieving this time, couldn't be any farther from being reassuring.
"You don't know it?" He asked, and though Chanyeol's expression would probably have already been enough to show his cluelessness, he answered with a tentative "No?" that came out more as a question, and he added "What should I know?"
But instead of explaining his unexpected reaction to Yixing's name Kyungsoo turned back to his cooking. "Oh, you'll find out about it soon enough." He claimed, and no matter how much Chanyeol tried to persuade him of spilling his informations, the younger didn't relent.
The next time Chanyeol met Yixing he was wary, a part of his mind trying to discover the reason for Kyungsoo's secretive behaviour, but he couldn't find a negative trait in Yixing.
The other was always friendly and polite, always fast in offering his help with anything and praising Chanyeol for every little task he completed. A week passed, then another, and Chanyeol was almost sure his small roommate had just wanted to lead him on (it wouldn't have been the most bizarre method Kyungsoo used to punish Chanyeol).
He did find out what the younger had been talking about eventually though.
They wer sitting in the library, as tehy did every Wednesday and Friday since the start of their project. Yixing was sitting directly beside him, concentrated deeply on the books lying open in front of them.
Chanyeol was having a hard time not jolting every time Yixing's hand brushed against his, so he was hardly taking notice of his surroundings. That was until a shadow suddenly towered over their desk, and when he raised his head he looked up into a face with angrily drawn eyebrows, and narrowed eyes.
The surprise had him gasp silently, and the noise alerted Yixing, who looked up as well. Instead of being terrified though, his features brightened and he immediately jumped up.
"Yifan, what are you doing here?" He asked, and rounded the table to stand by the giants (he was probably as tall as Chanyeol himself, if not taller) side.
"Chanyeol, this is Yifan. Yifan, I told you about Chanyeol, right?" Yixing introduced them, seemingly ignorant of the glare Yifan was still fixing on Chanyeol.
"Hello, I'm the boyfriend." Yifan stated, offering his hand for Chanyeol to shake. The black-haired male had already expected it before the other said it, but his stomach still twisted uncomfortably at the words.
"The boyfriend?" He squeaked, and immediately cleared his throat to get his voice back under control.
"His boyfriend." Yifan clarified with a nod towards the smaller brunet beside him, as if any clarification had been needed.
"Yifan, be nice." Yixing chastised, elbowing the taller male.
"I'm sorry, I'm Yifan." the blond corrected, smoothing his features out-forcefully from the look of it-until he looked bored rather than angry, but his eyes didn't lose any of their stinging intensity and Chanyeol found himself involuntarily swallowing.
He was so screwed, and not in the good way.
In a way Chanyeol was scared of seizing the proffered hand, but it would have been impolite to ignore it. The firm pressure of long fingers threatening to squash his own hand was enough for Chanyeol to get the warning that had already been implied by those stares.
If Chanyeol was being completely honest, he would have loved to get closer to Yixing, but he simply wasn't yet prepared to die.