Hopeless
hopeless
kris/lay, pg-13, au, drabble, song!fic ~624 words
but if you get lonely, call me.
inspired by jay park's hopeless love. some song parts mentioned.
Yifan and Yixing can't explain their relationship. They like each other, they have sex sometimes. But Yifan is a jerk and a shit to him. Sometimes Yifan looks at him lovingly like Yixing is a drug that he's addicted to, he knows he was bad for him but he can't help it, all he thinks about is Yixing and it's making him sick. Yixing just doesn't get what Yifan wants, he tried to teach him love at first because it was the best thing to do but it's like he doesn't appreciate it. So he gave up, he tried seeing other men because, why not? It's not only Yifan who can cheat. Cheat. If that's what describes it. Everything is complicated.
"Yixing," Yifan sighed while he played with Yixing's hair, lying naked next to each other. This is one of the best nights in their complicated relationship, having sex and nothing else matters. Without each other they felt untouchable. But Yifan told himself that everything is decided and this is for Yixing, he wants him to be free and happy.
"Hmmm" Yixing inhales the scent of Yifan's chest as he drew small circles on it.
"Look, I don't think we should do this again or even see each other" This is for Yixing, he thought. Yixing sighs. "But we were happy just an hour ago," he whispers, hot breath hitting Yifan's chest. He closed his eyes. Everything is hopeless and they must not continue this anymore. After all, he saw how Yixing likes Luhan and Yifan kind of likes Jongin too. "Yixing, we're hopeless. Look at us, is this what you want? I think it's about time that we go our separate ways, this love isn't working out, I'm really sorry, Yixing. I tried, I really do but it seems like we're hopeless. This love-- if this is even love, is hopeless" Yixing understands it and he can't really do much because it was true. They're hopeless. Yixing tried, he really did but Yifan isn't cooperating, he said he tried but it doesn't show. Yixing doesn’t want to give up because he loves Yifan. But it's Yifan who makes him give up because he doesn't put some effort for them. Like one time Yixing sets up a date for them but nothing happened since Yifan did not even show up. Yixing doesn't know if the latter is afraid of commitments or what but he's sure Yifan also loves him.
Yifan dressed, it was a little early and he can still walk home, it seems like the alcohol was already washed out. Yixing walks him outside. They stood there silently, awkwardly exchanging glances.
"Well, this is it." Yifan pulls his hoodie over his head.
"Goodbye, Fan." Yixing smiles, dimples denting through his pale cheeks. Yifan bit his lip as
he inhale lungful of the midnight air. He looks at the younger and just wants to kiss Yixing so desperately but it was Yixing who pulls his head down to kiss him. After the kiss, Yifan
thinks. Is this what he really wanted? No Yixing in his life forever? He felt how his lips missed Yixing's. But he shook his head. He can and will get used to this, it just needs time after all, people said time heals everything. Yifan tucks his hands inside his pockets and walks away. As Yixing walks through his apartment, Yifan comes running back, pinning him to the wall and kissing him, hard. Fuck everything. He loves Yixing and he can't get away with this even if he wants to. Whatever his plan doesn't matter anymore because his system will always be craving for Yixing.
"But if you get lonely, call me."
a/n: wow no.