Hellmouth Recidivism 7 - #426 Ichthus
Title: Hellmouth Recidivism 7
Fandom: BtVS
Prompt: 426 - Ichthus
Words: 870
Warnings: None
Xander sat for what felt like hours with Spike cuddled up to him. He just sat and reveled in the oddness of being able to go completely still and silent. He didn't need to breath, or blink, his heart didn't beat. It was oddly meditative, going still and listening to the sound of his own body's silence. Eventually, he addressed Spike, he had grown up to be a gentleman and he tried to never neglect his bed partners, unexpected as they may be
"I know you're awake."
His only response was a subtle tensing between Spike's bare shoulders.
"You don't have to talk to me, but I'm going to talk to you."
The tension eased a bit and he knew Spike was listening.
"I'm not sure if you heard Angel and I talking, but I'm not your Xander. I think my soul was switched out for his during the soul spell. I'm from another dimension, a dimension where I was never vamped. You got souled there too. You went crazy for a bit but got through it okay." He brushed a hand down Spike's back, the smaller man had always had a catlike fondness for physicality, but only from particular people. He would practically melt into Willow or Joyce's hugs. Considering the raging case of the nakeds they'd all had when they woke up, Xander was pretty confident that Spike would accept his small token affections.
"You'll be okay too, but I remember how much the soul made you blame yourself for everything. I want to tell you the story of the Spike from my world and how even without his soul he was an ally, roommate and sometimes friend."
Spike snorted into his hip at the thought.
"No seriously. He was like the obnoxious and rebellious older brother that loves to bug the shit out of you, but god help anyone else that targets his family. He once kidnapped me when he was drunk, and human me lived with him for months when he didn't have a soul." He poked Spike in the ribs. "Worst roommate EVER. He was constantly stealing my stuff and leaving wet towels everywhere. It didn't change much after he got the soul either."
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"… and you were so determined to drive that you ignored me and jumped into the driver's seat without noticing the matching rubber steering wheel and seat cover set with little Jesus fish printed all over it. I don't think it even had a chance to burn you. You jumped right back out of the car like a scalded cat…" Xander's voice laughed with good humor as he told some story that was presumably about the alternate Spike.
Angel could hear Xander's voice echoing down the hall as he quietly returned to the Crawford Mansion feeling much more centered. He may never forgive himself for enabling Xander's turning, but he was especially shamed by his relief that the original soul had not returned. Their native Xander was a judgmental teenager who loathed anything having to do with vampires. He would probably stake himself out of spite. Which wouldn't be good for Spike's fragile mental state.
This other Xander was correct on that point. Spike was devoted to his family to an almost fanatical degree. His emotions and devotions were always deeper than any other vampire Angel had ever met. He hadn't dealt well with losing Angelus to Angel and he wouldn't be able to handle with losing Xander to himself.
Angel was glad for the experience that alternate Xander seemed to have, both handling himself and handling Spike and Angel. The oldest vampire had no question in his mind that he was being handled. Xander wasn't the type to be quiet in his manipulations. He had set an ultimatum for Angel. Man up or leave before he could do more harm to Spike. The part of him that whispered with Angelus' voice was pleased at the strength of their clan childe. He was strong and would hold the family together.
Family. That was something that Angel hadn't allowed himself to have in a long time. He had seen his childer as lost to him once he was cursed with the soul. He could no longer share or accept their pleasures and they mourned and despaired for his ever present depression and lack of enjoyment in all of his favorite activities. He remembered those early years after the soul when his precious Drusilla and William had done everything they could think of to return happiness to him. It wasn't their fault that they were attempting to rouse a part of him that the soul reviled and regretted.
He wouldn't have wished the burden of a soul on any vampire. It was too painful and lonely, it was better to be dusted then live this half-life of his. Seeing it done though, sent a surge of possessive belonging through him. He, Angel, once more belonged to a family. This wasn't like lurking at the edges of the Scoobies, it wasn't like trying to reclaim his place at the head of the Scourge. Spike and Xander were just like him, men trapped in the form of monsters. He was not alone and they were his.
Fandom: BtVS
Prompt: 426 - Ichthus
Words: 870
Warnings: None
Xander sat for what felt like hours with Spike cuddled up to him. He just sat and reveled in the oddness of being able to go completely still and silent. He didn't need to breath, or blink, his heart didn't beat. It was oddly meditative, going still and listening to the sound of his own body's silence. Eventually, he addressed Spike, he had grown up to be a gentleman and he tried to never neglect his bed partners, unexpected as they may be
"I know you're awake."
His only response was a subtle tensing between Spike's bare shoulders.
"You don't have to talk to me, but I'm going to talk to you."
The tension eased a bit and he knew Spike was listening.
"I'm not sure if you heard Angel and I talking, but I'm not your Xander. I think my soul was switched out for his during the soul spell. I'm from another dimension, a dimension where I was never vamped. You got souled there too. You went crazy for a bit but got through it okay." He brushed a hand down Spike's back, the smaller man had always had a catlike fondness for physicality, but only from particular people. He would practically melt into Willow or Joyce's hugs. Considering the raging case of the nakeds they'd all had when they woke up, Xander was pretty confident that Spike would accept his small token affections.
"You'll be okay too, but I remember how much the soul made you blame yourself for everything. I want to tell you the story of the Spike from my world and how even without his soul he was an ally, roommate and sometimes friend."
Spike snorted into his hip at the thought.
"No seriously. He was like the obnoxious and rebellious older brother that loves to bug the shit out of you, but god help anyone else that targets his family. He once kidnapped me when he was drunk, and human me lived with him for months when he didn't have a soul." He poked Spike in the ribs. "Worst roommate EVER. He was constantly stealing my stuff and leaving wet towels everywhere. It didn't change much after he got the soul either."
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"… and you were so determined to drive that you ignored me and jumped into the driver's seat without noticing the matching rubber steering wheel and seat cover set with little Jesus fish printed all over it. I don't think it even had a chance to burn you. You jumped right back out of the car like a scalded cat…" Xander's voice laughed with good humor as he told some story that was presumably about the alternate Spike.
Angel could hear Xander's voice echoing down the hall as he quietly returned to the Crawford Mansion feeling much more centered. He may never forgive himself for enabling Xander's turning, but he was especially shamed by his relief that the original soul had not returned. Their native Xander was a judgmental teenager who loathed anything having to do with vampires. He would probably stake himself out of spite. Which wouldn't be good for Spike's fragile mental state.
This other Xander was correct on that point. Spike was devoted to his family to an almost fanatical degree. His emotions and devotions were always deeper than any other vampire Angel had ever met. He hadn't dealt well with losing Angelus to Angel and he wouldn't be able to handle with losing Xander to himself.
Angel was glad for the experience that alternate Xander seemed to have, both handling himself and handling Spike and Angel. The oldest vampire had no question in his mind that he was being handled. Xander wasn't the type to be quiet in his manipulations. He had set an ultimatum for Angel. Man up or leave before he could do more harm to Spike. The part of him that whispered with Angelus' voice was pleased at the strength of their clan childe. He was strong and would hold the family together.
Family. That was something that Angel hadn't allowed himself to have in a long time. He had seen his childer as lost to him once he was cursed with the soul. He could no longer share or accept their pleasures and they mourned and despaired for his ever present depression and lack of enjoyment in all of his favorite activities. He remembered those early years after the soul when his precious Drusilla and William had done everything they could think of to return happiness to him. It wasn't their fault that they were attempting to rouse a part of him that the soul reviled and regretted.
He wouldn't have wished the burden of a soul on any vampire. It was too painful and lonely, it was better to be dusted then live this half-life of his. Seeing it done though, sent a surge of possessive belonging through him. He, Angel, once more belonged to a family. This wasn't like lurking at the edges of the Scoobies, it wasn't like trying to reclaim his place at the head of the Scourge. Spike and Xander were just like him, men trapped in the form of monsters. He was not alone and they were his.