there is a backstreet boy song on the tv... are they back?!

[lightsxonxlow]

i've have a complete weird feeling lately. a lot of shit has changed for me. and things just aren't the same. people make me feel different. i've come to absolutely hate the people at school[even more so than before.] i've never felt so alone in my own mind, and this feeling is more than devastating. i just want to change all these feelings, and it's so hard when you have a constant reminder when you're around everything you want to be and you aren't. it's a constant reminder when you're around who you want to be with, and can't because he hates you thinking that way, or likes girls that aren't compatible with him, or just not up to it. i don't know, but this feeeling, it's disgusting to hate everything that you are and who you've been.

my smiles and laughs are of temporary moments of joy.
nothing is permanent.

oh and...

uhm, saturday i'm hanging out with ashley or katie.
sometime after two i'm going to andreas graduation party.
i don't know how long i'll be there.
jenn you wanted to hang out with me that night?
sunday i'm hanging out with ashley or katie.
then at 4:30, i'm hanging out with bri, and we're going to nikki's grad party, if it's okay with miss nikki.

my weekend is full.
but guys, don't worry..
if all goes well, the weekend of the 17th, is when my ungroundation begins.
so, do whatever you can to hope it does?