> be Dave Egbert
You keep getting bothered by trolls.
Actually, you aren't even sure why they keep talking to you -- you've blocked an awful lot of them, and ignore the rest. Though there are twelve names in your trollslum, you've only talked to two or three regularly. They are like the black knights that keep you from having fun on the internet, always meddling and trolling and telling you stupid stuff. If only you could chop them into pieces like in your stories and movies! But you can't, and you just have to put up with them. You guess the gray text one isn't that bad. You just have to be careful to only talk to the friendly ones.
-- amoruousConductor [AC] began pestering trustworthyGallant [TG] at ??? --
Oh great, here's another one. They always try and make your life miserable. You're really getting down to your last chivalrous nerve here. Soon enough you'll be onto the angry ones, and that's not very gentlemanly at all. Especially when you start saying those words that John likes so much, the ones that get you in trouble with your Dad.
AC: helloooo alien that ive heard is called a human!
AC: the great and furrocious predators called your gods have deigned to talk to you
AC: dont you f33l special? :3 h33h33!!!!
TG: oh no not more trolls
TG: you guys are the worst seriously stop pestering me i dont care
AC: waaaaiiiit!!!!
AC: i purromise that i am different!
AC: the others that youve talked to are lowbloods
AC: which means they just….well they are kind of stupid its really horrible :(
TG: you know thats not really nice to say about your friends
AC: oh no no no no they arent all my furiends!
AC: i just come from the same planet as them
AC: trust me they arent really worth knowing
AC: stick with me and i purromise i wont ever be mean to you
AC: we can be furiends instead!!!! :3
TG: uh
TG: ok sure
TG: i dont want to make any enemies so yeah lets try and be friends
TG: you seem pretty alright to me
AC: yessss! i am the nicest troll
AC: thats me!!!! :3
TG: hahahaha ok ok i get it
TG: so do i get to know your name or what, what comes next
AC: noooo, you must guess!
AC: true furriends should be able to guess their pawtners' names!
AC: but right now i must go :(
AC: bye dave!!!!
AC: remember don't talk to any other troll ok????
TG: wait what?
-- amorousConductor [AC] ceased trolling trustworthyGallant [TG] --
You are more confused than you were before this conversation. Why would they want to be friends with you? They've done nothing but try and ruin your life! Even so, you don't want to be inconsiderate, even to people who are supposedly the scum of the internet. A Knight's duty is to try to be nice and fair to everyone, and though you're not sure how well you'll do with that, you've got to try. If you don't, you'll be disappointed in yourself, and your dad will be disappointed too. And making your dad disappointed is your worst fear.
To attempt to ease your mind and forget the weird troll offer of friendship, you go to pester some of your friends. It's a little late at night, but they all seem to be online. You start with Jade, the one who types with grace and ease you've never seen before. She's so smart, and you're always so impressed by her knowledge and hobbies.
-- trustworthyGallant [TG] began pestering grimmstaleGadgeteer [GG] at 22:12 --
TG: hey jade
TG: you usually arent up this late are you busy or something
GG: actually, i am
GG: sorry david, i am in the middle of a delicate creation!
TG: its dave
GG: if you could go pester someone else, i would be really grateful
GG: i will talk to you tomorrow, dont worry, im happy that you wanted to talk to me
TG: oh i was just going to ask you about something if thats cool
GG: bye david!
-- grimmstaleGadgeteer is now an idle chum! --
TG: uh
TG: jade you know running off is all sorts of levels of rude
TG: jade
TG: okay goodnight i guess
-- trustworthyGallant [TG] ceased pestering grimmstaleGadgeteer [GG] --
Well, that went worse than expected. She always does this, runs away from your conversations and keeps calling you David, even when you've told her a million times. Jade is pretty nice, when she puts her mind to it. But your books never told you what to do when the damsel didn't want to be saved, and she leaves you consistently confused.
Welp.
John has his away message on, and you're pretty sure that whatever he's doing in his apartment, he's not going to be around to talk to you. He's probably getting the shit beat out of him. You mean crap. The crap beat out of him. Yeah. You're not really sure if you wanted to talk to him anyway; John can be pretty weird, all things considered. Sometimes he makes fun of you, and though you pretend it's a joke, it does kind of hurt your feelings sometimes. Still, cool and suave knights don't get their feelings hurt, so you just ignore it.
Which leaves....
-- trustworthyGallant [TG] began pestering transcendantTopiary [TT] at 22:30 --
TG: youre not busy are you rose
TG: because if you are then i guess i should just say goodnight
TT: Oh, hi, Dave!
TT: I'm glad you pestered me, They had told me you might. :)
TG: they
TG: wait never mind its those freaky things right, the ones in your dreams
TT: Yes! They're not freaky though, but whatever.
TT: What's up?
TG: ok so this troll talked to me today
TT: Oh no, I hate those jerks. I'd rather talk to my man-eating plants than to them.
TT: What did she say?
TG: how did you know it was a she
TT: Don't worry about that, just tell me, silly!
TG: oh okay, well basically she said that i shouldnt talk to anyone else
TG: and that shed be my friend and the others were losers
TG: it was fucking weird
TG: i mean freaking
TT: Dave, you don't have to apologize to me for your bad language. FUCK, see? I said it too.
TG: hahaha nice one
TT: Anyway, that's pretty weird! Maybe you should just keep ignoring them, that's what I do. They tend to give up after awhile.
TG: yeah thats what im planning on
TT: Isn't it late there? You should go to bed. I'll be up when you get up in the morning. :)
TT: Goodnight, Dave.
TG: night rose
TG: thanks
-- trustworthyGallant [TG] ceased pestering transcendantTopiary [TT] --
At least someone's around to give you good advice. You don't know what you'd do without Rose around. Still, you're not so sure about ignoring the blue troll. She seemed like she could get pretty mad if you tried that.
Maybe you'll just talk to her one more time. Just in case.