original fic
Title: Between the Words and Worlds
Author: like-i-love-you/Jake
Rating: pg-13
Summary: Zach is writing his own gay scifi short story. Sometimes he gets a little distracted by the ideas.
Notes:
This was it then, the last moments of my life. And I had so many regrets.
Not the most original opening Zach thought, but it would have to do.
Jahnii looked up at the blood red sky, the Star of Zakxs twinkling low on the horizon. “My shirt must be that color about now.” he thought. “It’s going to be a devil of a stain to get out. Well, it’s not my problem.” He tried to laugh but everything hurt. It wasn’t really funny anyway. The sound of his heartbeat was loud in his ears. Jahnii lay on the ground listening as each beat of his heart pumped blood out of his body. “God he felt stupid. A warrior of the Shaanii Order and he was going to bleed to death. Over nothing.” It wasn’t much of wound. Not even enough to kill him, but serious enough to take him down. It wasn’t the wound that would kill him but time. Eventually he would bleed to death, if he didn’t freeze to death first or get eaten by a Harang or some other equally nasty creature. Jahnii knew better than to go out without filing a plan, but the plan would do him no good having gone so far off course. MordakeJecia would never forgive him. Hell, MordakeJecia would never forgive himself. Jahnii wasn’t going to forgive himself either, at least for however long he had left. He didn’t know about an after life, but if he could feel guilty there too, he would.
The sky was darker now, the Star of Zakxs higher. There were more stars. He could see the constellation Scythe. Everything else was dark and shadowy in the first place and with his injuries he couldn’t make anything out. It was only some of the brighter stars he could see clearly, besides it hurt to try and move his head so he could look around. He was trying to keep track of the passage of time by the movement of the Star of Zakxs, but he had been struggling to keep his eyes open for a while. He knew no one would find him but he wasn’t giving up, just in case. Eventually he his eyes closed and he drifted off into his thoughts.
MordakeJecia would have found him in a heartbeat. Jahnii could see it. Some one would deliver the bad news, perhaps Saanjou. “I’m so sorry sir but Jahnii went out hours ago. He hasn’t come back.” MordakeJecia wouldn’t react. Saanjou would take it for shock and offer his encouragement. “The Quaerelrein will be sent out. He filled a plan. They’ll find.” MordakeJecia would shake the comforting hand off his shoulder, then close his eyes, the distractions around him fading away. And feel. He’d open his eyes after a moment. “I know were he is.” Saanjou would stare. “Sir this has been a big shock. I don’t think you know what your saying. Here sit a minute.” MordakeJecia would brush off Saanjou’s attempt to guide him to a chair and go speak to Ferenn. Ferenn would call the Quaerelrein and order them to this very spot. And that MordakeJecia was to go with them. Some one might question how she knew where to find me, but with all her authority they would accept her lack of answer and move out. If any of the Quaerelrein had doubts they would keep them to themselves. They would reach the coordinates and I would be there.
It hasn’t always been this way between MordakeJecia and I, not right from the start. The beginning was a tap dance, filled with uncertainty and miscommunication. It’s been so long since then. The confusion was put to rest so quickly, all most all the time we’ve known each other things have been as they are now. It isn’t easy, and the greater the distance, the harder it gets. It’s like a constant hum of awareness when I am in the same room or the next over. If we’re far enough a part he has to be seeking, and there is a point at which it no longer works. But he can feel me. I can’t feel him but oh I wish I could.
It’s not real though, just a scene in my head. He can’t save me this time. He’s in Brevan not Dwarnell. It’s to far. He can’t feel me. He wouldn’t get a message in time. And he’s not supposed to be back until tomorrow afternoon. It’s nice to pretended though. Ferenn will send out the Quaerelrein with MordakeJecia. They’ll reach the coordinates they were given and I’ll be there. Then MordakeJecia would be above me, calling my name, calling me back to reality, grounding me in my body, telling me I’ll be okay. If I just hold on long enough he’ll get me back to medical care. “Hold on Jahnii, just hold on babe.” I even hear him now, the cruel trick of an oxygen-deprived brain. He struggled to open his eyes even though he knew he was alone. If only... Oh look, the three moons, Tarva, Myillian, and Krnestoakm are peeking over the horizon.
“Zachary Nathaniel Marcel! Get your head out of what ever book you’re reading or story you’re writing and come down to dinner.”
“Yes Mother.” he called back. Zach sighed, “I was not meant for this world.” He closed his laptop and went down to dinner. He took his seat across from his mother but they didn’t speak. Zach was lost in thought anyway.
“There, there he is.” “Get him on a stretcher.” “Secure him on the sleigh on the back of the Raeke.” “We’ve got to get him back now.” “Hold on Jahnii, just hold on.”
Zach stood at the sink washing the dishes, but he was thinking about sword fights. The plates were clean but when he went back to his room he had forgotten to wipe the counter. His mother would notice in the morning. She would lecture him again about paying attention, but Zach wouldn’t really be listening. He would be off somewhere learning a magic spell. It was how things were. Zach opened his laptop and continued his story.
Oh look, the three moons, Tarva, Myillian, and Krnestoakm are peeking over the horizon. Jahnii’s world went black. He was lying in bed in a room that looked exactly like his own. “So this is the afterlife,” he thought, “I wonder what’s different?” MordakeJecia walked through the door. Jahnii’s brain screamed “no” and he fainted.
He came to, to see MordakeJecia’s face leaning over him. “You’re dead too?”
“I’m not dead and neither are you.” MordakeJecia whispered softly as he brushed Jahnii’s hair away from his face.
Jahnii attempted to sit up only everything hurt too much. He collapsed back on the bed. MordakeJecia reached over to help him into a more up right position, propping the pillows behind him. When Jahnii spoke his voice sounded strained from his efforts to sit up. “But how did they find me?”
“I found you.” The simple pronouncement filled the quiet of the room and seemed to hang in the air even after MordakeJecia’s lilting voice died away. He kept his gaze locked with Jahnii.
Jahnii was silent for a moment. “You were in Brevan.” It was a statement not a question.
MordakeJecia did not dispute him. His voice was a near whisper. “I heard you scream.”
“Oh.” The sound fell softly from Jahnii’s lips. It said everything. It held no surprise, just simple understanding.
MordakeJecia leaned over and kissed Jahnii, whispering “I love you.” almost against Jahnii’s lips, his breath brushing lightly across them, before pulling away, the words said like some kind of benediction.
Jahnii blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. He had almost died. He knew well enough not to stray so far from his filed plan, and yet he had. His reasoning made sense at the time but that was no excuse. Guilt was like a knife in his heart. He owed MordakeJecia better than that. His throat was so choked with emotion, it was a struggle just to breathe and he was trying to keep it together. He held out his hands in apology like some kind of peace offering. As a single tear spilled over, slowly making it’s way down his right cheek, he offered up the only words he had knowing it could never be enough. “I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m so stupid.” His voice was quiet, sounding almost desperate. After a moment he dropped his hands back into his lap.
MordakeJecia shook his head, reaching out and tracing the tear's path with his thumb. He spoke with calm quite conviction. “You are not stupid.”
Jahnii stared down at his hands whispering almost imperceptibly, “Yes I am.”
MordakeJecia reached out and tipped Jahnii’s head up, making eye contact before speaking, “No you’re not.” He leaned in and kissed Jahnii then continued, “You’re smart.” He kissed Jahnii again. “Amazing.” His voice was filled with love. He lifted Jahnii’s right hand placing a kiss on the palm. “Wonderful.” This time he kissed the left palm. “Beautiful.” He slowly traced Jahnii’s features. “Mine.” MordakeJecia placed his hand over Jahnii’s heart, gazing into Jahnii’s eyes and feeling each heartbeat.
“Yours.” Jahnii replied then falling silent. Neither man spoke or moved. In the silence Jahnii placed his own hand over MordakeJecia’s heart. He felt the beat for a moment before speaking, “Mine.”
“Yours.” came the quiet reply.
Neither man moved away and they sat there for a while feeling each other’s heartbeat and keeping their eye contact. After a time Jahnii was finding it hard to keep his eyes open. MordakeJecia pulled away and Jahnii stretched an arm out after him speaking in a sleepy whisper, “I just want to...”
“Shhh. Sleep now. You can talk later. I’ll be here.” MordakeJecia said softly cutting Jahnii off. Jahnii closed his eyes. MordakeJecia took off his shoes and slipped under the covers. “I’ll always be here.” He whispered under his breath what should have been to quiet to hear. Jahnii heard him anyway. It wasn’t a promise because it was the kind of promise you couldn’t always keep, there are no guarantees, and Jahnii understood. Still he knew MordakeJecia would always be there; MordakeJecia meant exactly what he said. This was love.
MordakeJecia slid over taking Jahnii into his arms, and they slept.
The End
Zach looked at the time. It was just after 10 pm on a school night. If he didn’t get to bed his mother would be pissed. He closed his laptop and went to brush his teeth. He stared in the mirror but didn’t see him self. He saw Zuron brave warrior of Teleron. His mind began to wander. Zuron brandished his weapon at the enemy. His opponent turned and fled. From somewhere far a way he heard a voice. “Zach? Zach? You better be getting ready for bed young man.” His mother’s voice pulled him out of his daydream.
The mirror was covered in toothpaste droplets. Zach looked down at the toothbrush in his hand and sighed. This wasn’t the first time he had been lost in a daydream and gotten so carried away. He pulled the glass cleaner from the cabinet under sink and set it on the floor. He took a paper towel from the roll and stood up, glass cleaner in hand. As he sprayed and then wiped the mirror clean his thoughts drifted back to Zuron. A warrior like that wouldn’t have to clean the mirror. He would call some one else to do it. Actually a warrior like that would never have gotten toothpaste all over the mirror in the first place. He put the cleaner away and dropped the paper towel in the trash. Exiting the bathroom he walked over to the stairs and called down to his mother to tell her he was going to bed. Her goodnight and a reminder to set an alarm were lost as Zuron the brave warrior of Teleron headed off to sleep. There would be another battle to fight tomorrow and he would need his strength.
Author: like-i-love-you/Jake
Rating: pg-13
Summary: Zach is writing his own gay scifi short story. Sometimes he gets a little distracted by the ideas.
Notes:
This was it then, the last moments of my life. And I had so many regrets.
Not the most original opening Zach thought, but it would have to do.
Jahnii looked up at the blood red sky, the Star of Zakxs twinkling low on the horizon. “My shirt must be that color about now.” he thought. “It’s going to be a devil of a stain to get out. Well, it’s not my problem.” He tried to laugh but everything hurt. It wasn’t really funny anyway. The sound of his heartbeat was loud in his ears. Jahnii lay on the ground listening as each beat of his heart pumped blood out of his body. “God he felt stupid. A warrior of the Shaanii Order and he was going to bleed to death. Over nothing.” It wasn’t much of wound. Not even enough to kill him, but serious enough to take him down. It wasn’t the wound that would kill him but time. Eventually he would bleed to death, if he didn’t freeze to death first or get eaten by a Harang or some other equally nasty creature. Jahnii knew better than to go out without filing a plan, but the plan would do him no good having gone so far off course. MordakeJecia would never forgive him. Hell, MordakeJecia would never forgive himself. Jahnii wasn’t going to forgive himself either, at least for however long he had left. He didn’t know about an after life, but if he could feel guilty there too, he would.
The sky was darker now, the Star of Zakxs higher. There were more stars. He could see the constellation Scythe. Everything else was dark and shadowy in the first place and with his injuries he couldn’t make anything out. It was only some of the brighter stars he could see clearly, besides it hurt to try and move his head so he could look around. He was trying to keep track of the passage of time by the movement of the Star of Zakxs, but he had been struggling to keep his eyes open for a while. He knew no one would find him but he wasn’t giving up, just in case. Eventually he his eyes closed and he drifted off into his thoughts.
MordakeJecia would have found him in a heartbeat. Jahnii could see it. Some one would deliver the bad news, perhaps Saanjou. “I’m so sorry sir but Jahnii went out hours ago. He hasn’t come back.” MordakeJecia wouldn’t react. Saanjou would take it for shock and offer his encouragement. “The Quaerelrein will be sent out. He filled a plan. They’ll find.” MordakeJecia would shake the comforting hand off his shoulder, then close his eyes, the distractions around him fading away. And feel. He’d open his eyes after a moment. “I know were he is.” Saanjou would stare. “Sir this has been a big shock. I don’t think you know what your saying. Here sit a minute.” MordakeJecia would brush off Saanjou’s attempt to guide him to a chair and go speak to Ferenn. Ferenn would call the Quaerelrein and order them to this very spot. And that MordakeJecia was to go with them. Some one might question how she knew where to find me, but with all her authority they would accept her lack of answer and move out. If any of the Quaerelrein had doubts they would keep them to themselves. They would reach the coordinates and I would be there.
It hasn’t always been this way between MordakeJecia and I, not right from the start. The beginning was a tap dance, filled with uncertainty and miscommunication. It’s been so long since then. The confusion was put to rest so quickly, all most all the time we’ve known each other things have been as they are now. It isn’t easy, and the greater the distance, the harder it gets. It’s like a constant hum of awareness when I am in the same room or the next over. If we’re far enough a part he has to be seeking, and there is a point at which it no longer works. But he can feel me. I can’t feel him but oh I wish I could.
It’s not real though, just a scene in my head. He can’t save me this time. He’s in Brevan not Dwarnell. It’s to far. He can’t feel me. He wouldn’t get a message in time. And he’s not supposed to be back until tomorrow afternoon. It’s nice to pretended though. Ferenn will send out the Quaerelrein with MordakeJecia. They’ll reach the coordinates they were given and I’ll be there. Then MordakeJecia would be above me, calling my name, calling me back to reality, grounding me in my body, telling me I’ll be okay. If I just hold on long enough he’ll get me back to medical care. “Hold on Jahnii, just hold on babe.” I even hear him now, the cruel trick of an oxygen-deprived brain. He struggled to open his eyes even though he knew he was alone. If only... Oh look, the three moons, Tarva, Myillian, and Krnestoakm are peeking over the horizon.
“Zachary Nathaniel Marcel! Get your head out of what ever book you’re reading or story you’re writing and come down to dinner.”
“Yes Mother.” he called back. Zach sighed, “I was not meant for this world.” He closed his laptop and went down to dinner. He took his seat across from his mother but they didn’t speak. Zach was lost in thought anyway.
“There, there he is.” “Get him on a stretcher.” “Secure him on the sleigh on the back of the Raeke.” “We’ve got to get him back now.” “Hold on Jahnii, just hold on.”
Zach stood at the sink washing the dishes, but he was thinking about sword fights. The plates were clean but when he went back to his room he had forgotten to wipe the counter. His mother would notice in the morning. She would lecture him again about paying attention, but Zach wouldn’t really be listening. He would be off somewhere learning a magic spell. It was how things were. Zach opened his laptop and continued his story.
Oh look, the three moons, Tarva, Myillian, and Krnestoakm are peeking over the horizon. Jahnii’s world went black. He was lying in bed in a room that looked exactly like his own. “So this is the afterlife,” he thought, “I wonder what’s different?” MordakeJecia walked through the door. Jahnii’s brain screamed “no” and he fainted.
He came to, to see MordakeJecia’s face leaning over him. “You’re dead too?”
“I’m not dead and neither are you.” MordakeJecia whispered softly as he brushed Jahnii’s hair away from his face.
Jahnii attempted to sit up only everything hurt too much. He collapsed back on the bed. MordakeJecia reached over to help him into a more up right position, propping the pillows behind him. When Jahnii spoke his voice sounded strained from his efforts to sit up. “But how did they find me?”
“I found you.” The simple pronouncement filled the quiet of the room and seemed to hang in the air even after MordakeJecia’s lilting voice died away. He kept his gaze locked with Jahnii.
Jahnii was silent for a moment. “You were in Brevan.” It was a statement not a question.
MordakeJecia did not dispute him. His voice was a near whisper. “I heard you scream.”
“Oh.” The sound fell softly from Jahnii’s lips. It said everything. It held no surprise, just simple understanding.
MordakeJecia leaned over and kissed Jahnii, whispering “I love you.” almost against Jahnii’s lips, his breath brushing lightly across them, before pulling away, the words said like some kind of benediction.
Jahnii blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. He had almost died. He knew well enough not to stray so far from his filed plan, and yet he had. His reasoning made sense at the time but that was no excuse. Guilt was like a knife in his heart. He owed MordakeJecia better than that. His throat was so choked with emotion, it was a struggle just to breathe and he was trying to keep it together. He held out his hands in apology like some kind of peace offering. As a single tear spilled over, slowly making it’s way down his right cheek, he offered up the only words he had knowing it could never be enough. “I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m so stupid.” His voice was quiet, sounding almost desperate. After a moment he dropped his hands back into his lap.
MordakeJecia shook his head, reaching out and tracing the tear's path with his thumb. He spoke with calm quite conviction. “You are not stupid.”
Jahnii stared down at his hands whispering almost imperceptibly, “Yes I am.”
MordakeJecia reached out and tipped Jahnii’s head up, making eye contact before speaking, “No you’re not.” He leaned in and kissed Jahnii then continued, “You’re smart.” He kissed Jahnii again. “Amazing.” His voice was filled with love. He lifted Jahnii’s right hand placing a kiss on the palm. “Wonderful.” This time he kissed the left palm. “Beautiful.” He slowly traced Jahnii’s features. “Mine.” MordakeJecia placed his hand over Jahnii’s heart, gazing into Jahnii’s eyes and feeling each heartbeat.
“Yours.” Jahnii replied then falling silent. Neither man spoke or moved. In the silence Jahnii placed his own hand over MordakeJecia’s heart. He felt the beat for a moment before speaking, “Mine.”
“Yours.” came the quiet reply.
Neither man moved away and they sat there for a while feeling each other’s heartbeat and keeping their eye contact. After a time Jahnii was finding it hard to keep his eyes open. MordakeJecia pulled away and Jahnii stretched an arm out after him speaking in a sleepy whisper, “I just want to...”
“Shhh. Sleep now. You can talk later. I’ll be here.” MordakeJecia said softly cutting Jahnii off. Jahnii closed his eyes. MordakeJecia took off his shoes and slipped under the covers. “I’ll always be here.” He whispered under his breath what should have been to quiet to hear. Jahnii heard him anyway. It wasn’t a promise because it was the kind of promise you couldn’t always keep, there are no guarantees, and Jahnii understood. Still he knew MordakeJecia would always be there; MordakeJecia meant exactly what he said. This was love.
MordakeJecia slid over taking Jahnii into his arms, and they slept.
The End
Zach looked at the time. It was just after 10 pm on a school night. If he didn’t get to bed his mother would be pissed. He closed his laptop and went to brush his teeth. He stared in the mirror but didn’t see him self. He saw Zuron brave warrior of Teleron. His mind began to wander. Zuron brandished his weapon at the enemy. His opponent turned and fled. From somewhere far a way he heard a voice. “Zach? Zach? You better be getting ready for bed young man.” His mother’s voice pulled him out of his daydream.
The mirror was covered in toothpaste droplets. Zach looked down at the toothbrush in his hand and sighed. This wasn’t the first time he had been lost in a daydream and gotten so carried away. He pulled the glass cleaner from the cabinet under sink and set it on the floor. He took a paper towel from the roll and stood up, glass cleaner in hand. As he sprayed and then wiped the mirror clean his thoughts drifted back to Zuron. A warrior like that wouldn’t have to clean the mirror. He would call some one else to do it. Actually a warrior like that would never have gotten toothpaste all over the mirror in the first place. He put the cleaner away and dropped the paper towel in the trash. Exiting the bathroom he walked over to the stairs and called down to his mother to tell her he was going to bed. Her goodnight and a reminder to set an alarm were lost as Zuron the brave warrior of Teleron headed off to sleep. There would be another battle to fight tomorrow and he would need his strength.