3 hours of sleep,
and i didn't even rest.
saw my casanova.
she is a dear. a crazy.
but a dear.
natalie's house on friday with olivia and dom.
hung out with a lot of people,
and they all seemed cool.
met a few new faces,
but was kinda sad because they "suck up" to everyone.
and i felt like a nobody.
<3 to them
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and she's the biggest sweetheart i know.
duh
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about how once you start crying
that you cant stop because
there is so much to cry about.
so there is no use in crying at all.
i liked it.
thats what reminded me of
when you said...crying..option.
im glad you had an "alright" time.
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you understand things,
so you know what i mean.
hah randomness.
one day the tears will all come out,
and it will be about something lame,
but i won't stop crying until it's all gone,
and im sure ill call you and we can go for a walk
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and you know its genuine because
im stupid about all the love stuff.
as we talked on the phone.
i listened and thought you sounded beautiful.
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and just a saying.
people have lost the feeling.
im glad you heard beauty.
from your end, i heard you standing up for yourself
instead of shutting down,
and it made me happy
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it was quiet, and that hurt my feelings
and made me kind of angry
but then i looked at things from your point of view
and i understood
and got less mad, and less hurt
im sorry if i haven't been much of a friend
and i know saying and doing are two entirely different things
but im doing the best i can
and i just want to be your friend again
and i want to know how you are doing, and what youre going through right now
because i want to be there for you, like how things used to be
i want you and me to be okay again.
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i get bothered with things that others do,
and it's hard for me to say anything,
so i push them away
instead of talk throgh anything.
less conflict and pain for me.
that's selfish.
but im sorry.
i don't think you fully know my point of view,
as i dont have a clue about yours.
you and i will be ok again,
because we can just start over.
instead of picking up where we left off
since you and i are two different people we were before.
you know?
<3
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