a record in every sense, jake gyllenhaal/adam levine, nc-17
HAPPY BIRTHDAY INSANEBOINGO!!
Title: a record in every sense
Author: likecharity
Pairing: Jake Gyllenhaal/Adam Levine
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None
Summary: And then it just kind of happened, and you hate how you can't remember the details, but all you can remember is that one second he was looking at you with this shocked expression on his face, and the next thing you knew, you were kissing.
A/N: I've never written in second person before! It just sort of happened, and it was fun. Also, this got surprisingly angsty towards the end. I couldn't help it. :( Also, title from 'Mnemonic' by Robots in Disguise.
You still think about it sometimes.
It was Halloween, and he came round because you weren't cool enough to get invited to any parties, nor brave enough to throw one of your own. Actually, Adam claimed he had been invited to a party, by one of the coolest guys at his school, but you'd always been suspicious of this, because you could never understand why he'd decline that offer in favour of hanging out with you.
The first thing he said when he came in the door was "Where's Maggie?" and you still remember the way he said it, with that little smirk, showing how much he knew the question would annoy you. He was always asking after Maggie, and always trying to chat her up when she was around, despite the countless amounts of time you'd told him she wasn't in the slightest bit interested.
"Party," you said simply, shutting the door behind him. "Nice costume," you added sarcastically, eyeing the black t-shirt and jeans he was wearing. You still think he could've at least made an effort.
"Better than what you're wearing," he shot back with a grin, and you blushed underneath your monster mask, glad he couldn't see it, embarrassed by the fact that you cared what he thought.
And, you think with a sigh, still do.
He had some movie with him-you can't even remember what it was, some low-budget zombie flick that you spent half the time just laughing at-and you watched it in your room, both squashed onto your little single bed.
You remember how you kept getting all shaky and hot whenever he moved too close-when his hand reached between your legs where the popcorn bowl was, when he rearranged the position of his legs and his knee bumped against yours. You remember how it didn't seem to mean much at first, because you'd been feeling like that a lot latel, and it seemed like the slightest touch from anybody-though admittedly mainly Adam-made your hormones go completely mental.
You had to keep pausing the movie to go answer the door and dole out the candy Mom left, and Adam kept making a big deal out of it, telling you to forget about them and ignore the doorbell. You felt too guilty, though, and eventually he just got fed up and kept watching the movie while you were gone.
Not that you cared. There wasn't exactly much of a plot.
It got darker and darker outside and you hadn't closed the curtains and the lights weren't on. The only light came from the glow of the TV screen, illuminating Adam's face next to you and you remember how you kept turning to look at him even though you were scared you were being too obvious.
And you guessed that maybe he just couldn't see all that well or maybe he wasn't looking at all, but the next time he reached for the popcorn, his hand brushed against the crotch of your pants instead. You were hard in an instant, blushing the colour of the tomato and wishing you hadn't taken off your mask. He didn't seem to notice right away, just found the bowl and brought a handful of popcorn to his mouth, eyes still on the screen.
"I swear, I could do special effects better than these," he sniggered a few minutes later as some guy with a chainsaw cut someone in half on the TV.
You laughed nervously, desperately willing your erection away, but Adam was moving closer, and you're not sure if you remember it right but you think he might even have rested his elbow on your thigh at that point, and you just couldn't stop looking at him.
And then the doorbell rang, and he turned to you expectantly. "Gonna get that?" he sneered. "Gotta keep the neighbourhood kids happy."
You hesitated. The doorbell rang again.
"Nah, let's leave it."
He shrugged and turned back to the film, but you knew you couldn't just leave it. You thought of the kids outside-maybe they were the Delaneys from next door, Mom would be really mad if she found out you'd ignored them-and you shuffled off the bed with a sigh.
But he noticed right away.
"Well, now I know why you were so keen to watch a zombie movie," he said with a grin, eyeing your crotch like this was no big deal, like guys got hard-ons in his company all the time. "Zombies do that to you?"
"No!" you said indignantly, and the doorbell rang again, persistant, off in the distance.
"Aw, then what? Handing out candy to the kiddies?" he went on, teasing, obviously enjoying himself. "Are you the neighbourhood pedo, Jakey? Do the Delaneys know about this?"
"No! It wasn't that!"
At this point you think you were getting seriously humiliated and you sat back down on the bed, trying to cover yourself, wishing he'd shut up.
"Then what was it?" he asked with a cheeky grin, and you didn't speak for a moment and all either of you could hear was the screaming from the TV as some other person got horrifically murdered. You're pretty sure that you were probably wishing you could get horrifically murdered at that moment in time.
"You," you said eventually, not looking at him as you spoke, and to this day you still can't imagine how you were brave enough to actually say that out loud, because it always seemed like the sort of thing you'd take to the grave. Maybe it was just because you were sick of Adam being so cocky and arrogant all the time, and for once you just wanted to see him speechless.
And it worked, too. When you finally dared to look up, he was just staring at you like he had no clue what to say, and it's an image you've kept with you your whole life. It was hard to dwell on it at the time, though, because you were too busy completely freaking out.
And then it just kind of happened, and you hate how you can't remember the details, but all you can remember is that one second he was looking at you with this shocked expression on his face, and the next thing you knew, you were kissing. Really kissing, too, the kind of kissing that only high school kids can do, all sloppy and unexperienced but more enthusiastic than anything.
He lay down and kind of dragged you on top of him and then seemed to think better of it and tried to flip you over, and in the process the bowl of popcorn slid off the bed with a clunk, and then the doorbell rang again and you both leapt up like a shot, paranoid, terrified of getting caught.
"Please don't tell me you're going to get that," Adam hissed as you stared at the bedroom door, and you laughed, shaking your head as you sunk back down on the bed. You found the remote control under the covers and quickly shut off the video player, deciding you suddenly weren't in the mood for zombie gore.
The thing you remember most clearly is how eager Adam was, how he made the first moves from then on. While you were too nervous to even touch him below the waist, his fingers were stroking your erection through your pants within minutes. And even when you did work up the courage to start doing the same thing to him-because he was hard by that time too, and you felt kind of stupid for being surprised, but you were-he was one step ahead of you, already unzipping your fly.
It's amazing, but you still remember the way his hand felt around your cock, tight and hot and slick with sweat, and it was the first time anyone'd ever done that to you, you'd only ever jerked off before and you couldn't believe how good it felt for it to simply be someone else's hand.
Only it wasn't just someone else, it was Adam, it was the boy you'd known pretty much forever. And even as his fingers were curled around your cock and sliding up and down it and you were clutching at the back of his head as you pressed your lips clumsily against his, you still couldn't help worrying that this were going to ruin your friendship.
You remember that he kind of started grinding against your thigh, one leg on either side of it and sort of rubbing against you, and it took you a really long time to get it together and reach down to undo his jeans and touch him. It was way too hot-you'd gotten underneath the covers by this point-and your shirt was damp with sweat, as neither of you had even bothered undressing properly. And you fumbled around for what felt like ages, because you couldn't see what you were doing, and the angle was all wrong, and Adam kept doing some sort of twisting thing with his wrist and every time he did it you forgot everything else that was happening.
But eventually you had your hand wrapped round his cock too and you were looking up at his face to check that what you were doing felt good, and he had his eyes scrunched shut and his mouth open and you couldn't help reaching up to kiss him again. He sort of groaned into your mouth and you could tell he was embarrassed even though he was pretending not to be. And maybe you laughed at him a bit, and maybe that was why he dragged his thumb-all rough from all that time he'd spent playing the guitar lately-over the head of your cock, making you moan out loud and grab at his back.
You remember being embarrassed that you came first, yanking your t-shirt out of the way just in time so that you splattered hot onto your stomach and chest and didn't have to worry about incriminating evidence in the laundry. Adam ran his fingers across your sticky skin as you kept on, tugging at his cock, fingers sliding, trying to keep some kind of rhythm, but he was the one who was always better at that sort of thing.
And then suddenly he was making this sort of strangled sound and whispering frantically to you not to stop-as if you would've!-and you felt his come spilling over your hand, dribbling onto your stomach. He rolled off you, panting, and you held the sheets up off your body, making a face and saying "Ugh," because it was all you could manage, and the two of you argued for a while over who was going to have to get up and go get a tissue.
It was you, in the end, of course, because he's always had that way of making you do what he wants, even now, though unfortunately it never happens in a sexual context anymore.
That night was pretty awkward and he was back to gawking over Maggie again in the morning when he bumped into her coming out of the bathroom after a shower. And then neither of you talked for a few weeks, but you were the first to ring him and invite him over again, and you were pretty proud of that. But things never really took off, even though it happened a couple more times, even though once he said to you-the night you both tried smoking pot for the first time-that he only had the hots for Maggie because she looked like you, only he never wanted to admit it.
Eventually you both decided to put an end to it, because, just as you'd worried, it was ruining your friendship. And after that decision had been made, everything went back to normal. There were no more awkward silences, and you could eat popcorn and watch zombie movies together as much as you liked without there being any tension. Adam really seemed to put the whole thing behind him.
Which was why, you remember with a grimace, it was so terribly stupid of you to try and kiss him that time when you met up again when you were in your late teens and you hadn't seen each other for a while. You'd like to say it was just the alcohol but beer can only be blamed so much, and you know that most of it came from you. He'd overreacted really, and you were terrified that it was going to be the end of your friendship forever, but the next day he pretended not to remember everything and you went on like nothing had happened, because that's always been your way of dealing with things.
But the truth is that it was that night that made you realise you're gay. It was easy, back in high school, to convince yourself you were 'experimenting' because that's what adults always call it, and you were actually quite happy to believe that you were 'going through a phase'.
But the phase never really ended, you know that now. And you're not in a position where it's okay for you to be open about these things, so you keep on dating these pretty blonde actresses and make sure it gets in the papers. And it's not like you don't like them-Kirsten, Reese, anyone else you've let yourself be, as the press put it, 'romantically linked' to-but deep down you know they don't evoke the same feelings that men do. So you keep doing it, you keep having sex with any men who remind you-even in the slightest bit-of Adam, and doing everything you can to keep that out of the public eye.
Title: a record in every sense
Author: likecharity
Pairing: Jake Gyllenhaal/Adam Levine
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None
Summary: And then it just kind of happened, and you hate how you can't remember the details, but all you can remember is that one second he was looking at you with this shocked expression on his face, and the next thing you knew, you were kissing.
A/N: I've never written in second person before! It just sort of happened, and it was fun. Also, this got surprisingly angsty towards the end. I couldn't help it. :( Also, title from 'Mnemonic' by Robots in Disguise.
You still think about it sometimes.
It was Halloween, and he came round because you weren't cool enough to get invited to any parties, nor brave enough to throw one of your own. Actually, Adam claimed he had been invited to a party, by one of the coolest guys at his school, but you'd always been suspicious of this, because you could never understand why he'd decline that offer in favour of hanging out with you.
The first thing he said when he came in the door was "Where's Maggie?" and you still remember the way he said it, with that little smirk, showing how much he knew the question would annoy you. He was always asking after Maggie, and always trying to chat her up when she was around, despite the countless amounts of time you'd told him she wasn't in the slightest bit interested.
"Party," you said simply, shutting the door behind him. "Nice costume," you added sarcastically, eyeing the black t-shirt and jeans he was wearing. You still think he could've at least made an effort.
"Better than what you're wearing," he shot back with a grin, and you blushed underneath your monster mask, glad he couldn't see it, embarrassed by the fact that you cared what he thought.
And, you think with a sigh, still do.
He had some movie with him-you can't even remember what it was, some low-budget zombie flick that you spent half the time just laughing at-and you watched it in your room, both squashed onto your little single bed.
You remember how you kept getting all shaky and hot whenever he moved too close-when his hand reached between your legs where the popcorn bowl was, when he rearranged the position of his legs and his knee bumped against yours. You remember how it didn't seem to mean much at first, because you'd been feeling like that a lot latel, and it seemed like the slightest touch from anybody-though admittedly mainly Adam-made your hormones go completely mental.
You had to keep pausing the movie to go answer the door and dole out the candy Mom left, and Adam kept making a big deal out of it, telling you to forget about them and ignore the doorbell. You felt too guilty, though, and eventually he just got fed up and kept watching the movie while you were gone.
Not that you cared. There wasn't exactly much of a plot.
It got darker and darker outside and you hadn't closed the curtains and the lights weren't on. The only light came from the glow of the TV screen, illuminating Adam's face next to you and you remember how you kept turning to look at him even though you were scared you were being too obvious.
And you guessed that maybe he just couldn't see all that well or maybe he wasn't looking at all, but the next time he reached for the popcorn, his hand brushed against the crotch of your pants instead. You were hard in an instant, blushing the colour of the tomato and wishing you hadn't taken off your mask. He didn't seem to notice right away, just found the bowl and brought a handful of popcorn to his mouth, eyes still on the screen.
"I swear, I could do special effects better than these," he sniggered a few minutes later as some guy with a chainsaw cut someone in half on the TV.
You laughed nervously, desperately willing your erection away, but Adam was moving closer, and you're not sure if you remember it right but you think he might even have rested his elbow on your thigh at that point, and you just couldn't stop looking at him.
And then the doorbell rang, and he turned to you expectantly. "Gonna get that?" he sneered. "Gotta keep the neighbourhood kids happy."
You hesitated. The doorbell rang again.
"Nah, let's leave it."
He shrugged and turned back to the film, but you knew you couldn't just leave it. You thought of the kids outside-maybe they were the Delaneys from next door, Mom would be really mad if she found out you'd ignored them-and you shuffled off the bed with a sigh.
But he noticed right away.
"Well, now I know why you were so keen to watch a zombie movie," he said with a grin, eyeing your crotch like this was no big deal, like guys got hard-ons in his company all the time. "Zombies do that to you?"
"No!" you said indignantly, and the doorbell rang again, persistant, off in the distance.
"Aw, then what? Handing out candy to the kiddies?" he went on, teasing, obviously enjoying himself. "Are you the neighbourhood pedo, Jakey? Do the Delaneys know about this?"
"No! It wasn't that!"
At this point you think you were getting seriously humiliated and you sat back down on the bed, trying to cover yourself, wishing he'd shut up.
"Then what was it?" he asked with a cheeky grin, and you didn't speak for a moment and all either of you could hear was the screaming from the TV as some other person got horrifically murdered. You're pretty sure that you were probably wishing you could get horrifically murdered at that moment in time.
"You," you said eventually, not looking at him as you spoke, and to this day you still can't imagine how you were brave enough to actually say that out loud, because it always seemed like the sort of thing you'd take to the grave. Maybe it was just because you were sick of Adam being so cocky and arrogant all the time, and for once you just wanted to see him speechless.
And it worked, too. When you finally dared to look up, he was just staring at you like he had no clue what to say, and it's an image you've kept with you your whole life. It was hard to dwell on it at the time, though, because you were too busy completely freaking out.
And then it just kind of happened, and you hate how you can't remember the details, but all you can remember is that one second he was looking at you with this shocked expression on his face, and the next thing you knew, you were kissing. Really kissing, too, the kind of kissing that only high school kids can do, all sloppy and unexperienced but more enthusiastic than anything.
He lay down and kind of dragged you on top of him and then seemed to think better of it and tried to flip you over, and in the process the bowl of popcorn slid off the bed with a clunk, and then the doorbell rang again and you both leapt up like a shot, paranoid, terrified of getting caught.
"Please don't tell me you're going to get that," Adam hissed as you stared at the bedroom door, and you laughed, shaking your head as you sunk back down on the bed. You found the remote control under the covers and quickly shut off the video player, deciding you suddenly weren't in the mood for zombie gore.
The thing you remember most clearly is how eager Adam was, how he made the first moves from then on. While you were too nervous to even touch him below the waist, his fingers were stroking your erection through your pants within minutes. And even when you did work up the courage to start doing the same thing to him-because he was hard by that time too, and you felt kind of stupid for being surprised, but you were-he was one step ahead of you, already unzipping your fly.
It's amazing, but you still remember the way his hand felt around your cock, tight and hot and slick with sweat, and it was the first time anyone'd ever done that to you, you'd only ever jerked off before and you couldn't believe how good it felt for it to simply be someone else's hand.
Only it wasn't just someone else, it was Adam, it was the boy you'd known pretty much forever. And even as his fingers were curled around your cock and sliding up and down it and you were clutching at the back of his head as you pressed your lips clumsily against his, you still couldn't help worrying that this were going to ruin your friendship.
You remember that he kind of started grinding against your thigh, one leg on either side of it and sort of rubbing against you, and it took you a really long time to get it together and reach down to undo his jeans and touch him. It was way too hot-you'd gotten underneath the covers by this point-and your shirt was damp with sweat, as neither of you had even bothered undressing properly. And you fumbled around for what felt like ages, because you couldn't see what you were doing, and the angle was all wrong, and Adam kept doing some sort of twisting thing with his wrist and every time he did it you forgot everything else that was happening.
But eventually you had your hand wrapped round his cock too and you were looking up at his face to check that what you were doing felt good, and he had his eyes scrunched shut and his mouth open and you couldn't help reaching up to kiss him again. He sort of groaned into your mouth and you could tell he was embarrassed even though he was pretending not to be. And maybe you laughed at him a bit, and maybe that was why he dragged his thumb-all rough from all that time he'd spent playing the guitar lately-over the head of your cock, making you moan out loud and grab at his back.
You remember being embarrassed that you came first, yanking your t-shirt out of the way just in time so that you splattered hot onto your stomach and chest and didn't have to worry about incriminating evidence in the laundry. Adam ran his fingers across your sticky skin as you kept on, tugging at his cock, fingers sliding, trying to keep some kind of rhythm, but he was the one who was always better at that sort of thing.
And then suddenly he was making this sort of strangled sound and whispering frantically to you not to stop-as if you would've!-and you felt his come spilling over your hand, dribbling onto your stomach. He rolled off you, panting, and you held the sheets up off your body, making a face and saying "Ugh," because it was all you could manage, and the two of you argued for a while over who was going to have to get up and go get a tissue.
It was you, in the end, of course, because he's always had that way of making you do what he wants, even now, though unfortunately it never happens in a sexual context anymore.
That night was pretty awkward and he was back to gawking over Maggie again in the morning when he bumped into her coming out of the bathroom after a shower. And then neither of you talked for a few weeks, but you were the first to ring him and invite him over again, and you were pretty proud of that. But things never really took off, even though it happened a couple more times, even though once he said to you-the night you both tried smoking pot for the first time-that he only had the hots for Maggie because she looked like you, only he never wanted to admit it.
Eventually you both decided to put an end to it, because, just as you'd worried, it was ruining your friendship. And after that decision had been made, everything went back to normal. There were no more awkward silences, and you could eat popcorn and watch zombie movies together as much as you liked without there being any tension. Adam really seemed to put the whole thing behind him.
Which was why, you remember with a grimace, it was so terribly stupid of you to try and kiss him that time when you met up again when you were in your late teens and you hadn't seen each other for a while. You'd like to say it was just the alcohol but beer can only be blamed so much, and you know that most of it came from you. He'd overreacted really, and you were terrified that it was going to be the end of your friendship forever, but the next day he pretended not to remember everything and you went on like nothing had happened, because that's always been your way of dealing with things.
But the truth is that it was that night that made you realise you're gay. It was easy, back in high school, to convince yourself you were 'experimenting' because that's what adults always call it, and you were actually quite happy to believe that you were 'going through a phase'.
But the phase never really ended, you know that now. And you're not in a position where it's okay for you to be open about these things, so you keep on dating these pretty blonde actresses and make sure it gets in the papers. And it's not like you don't like them-Kirsten, Reese, anyone else you've let yourself be, as the press put it, 'romantically linked' to-but deep down you know they don't evoke the same feelings that men do. So you keep doing it, you keep having sex with any men who remind you-even in the slightest bit-of Adam, and doing everything you can to keep that out of the public eye.