Mandalus Application
→ PLAYER INFORMATION;
Name: Cupcake
Personal Journal: ageofdragons
Contact: AIM/Plurk - cupcakeenigma
Timezone: GMT
Current Characters:
→ CHARACTER INFORMATION;
Character Name: Dean Winchester
Character Journal: likemichael
Canon: Supernatural
Canon Point: Season 7, Episode 2, just as he and Sam arrive at Bobby's burned down home.
Canon Building: The 1967 Chevrolet Impala.
History: The Life and Times of Dean Winchester.
Personality: "Frightened little boy, the secret life of Dean." There are many ways to describe Dean Winchester but a frightened little boy is the most accurate. While he is brave, confident, loving, strong, powerful, and determined, more than anything Dean is a scared child. Fighting monsters on a nearly daily basis should be enough to call him a fearless man but Dean is terrified of many things. He doesn't want to be alone, he doesn't want to go to Hell again, he doesn't want the blind happiness Heaven offers, he simply wants to live out his life and have his brother with him for the whole journey. He fears being abandoned but at the same time he fears being a failure in his main purpose in life, the thing that makes him who he is: Sam's protector.
Described best by Dean himself; "Watching out for you is my job. More than that, it's who I am." From the moment four year old Dean was handed six month old Sam, told to run outside and don't look back, Dean has been the primary carer for his brother. Even with their father around, Dean played the roles of father, mother, and older brother to his sibling, as well as taking care of his grieving parent and, before her death, comforting his mother Mary when she was unhappy with his father, John. Dean is a natural born caregiver, making sure everyone is safe and happy before his own needs, even when he wanted to be upset and angry, choosing to take charge of things and ensure their lives ran as smoothly as life could for a family of hunters. Even despite that ingrained caring depth, Dean covers it perfectly with enough bravado and confidence that most outsiders assume he is a regular guy who has a very close bond with his brother and a taste for scotch and women. While these are all parts of what make Dean who he is, above all, watching out for Sam is who he is.
Dean has considerable issues where family is concerned, however. While he barely knew his mother, her death coming when he was only four, he finds the thought of her presence as something consistently comforting, even going so far as to repeatedly try to stop her death from happening when dragged into the past by angels. A deep rooted wish of his being that she had never died, a Djinn (evil genie) takes advantage of this in order to kill Dean, leaving him mentally locked up in a dream world of what would have happened if she hadn't died, and although this life seems nearly perfect, Dean rejects it purely on the basis of how his relationship with Sam is not how it is in the real world. Despite not being able to have her back, Dean still cares deeply, although his affection for his mother is somewhat dislocated, given he can easily admit to finding her attractive, saying "Mom's a babe. And I'm going to Hell. Again."
Where his father is concerned, Dean has a lot of difficulty, at first, accepting that his father isn't the golden hero he makes him out to be. Growing up, Dean modelled himself on his father; the music he listens to, the bravado he struts around with, the way he dresses, everything is to mimic his father, and eventually Dean makes the whole ensemble his own. He becomes his own version of John Winchester, hoping to become a better version, somehow. He has deep rooted desperation to prove himself to John because, no matter how he tried to be like him, Sam was always that much more like John, while Dean was always just like Mary. Needing a paternal figure in his life, Dean often lets older men he knows slip into that role, but none more so than Bobby Singer. The old hunter is more of a father than John ever was for both Sam and Dean, and Dean considers him that himself, while Bobby even chastises him for trying to behave like John. Bobby is who Dean turns to when things are too much and he can't go to Sam, showing Dean's need to rely on those around him.
Family plays an integral role in Dean's life, making him do things he never thought he'd do, simply because familial bonds are in place, but this doesn't always mean a blood bond. Again, needing a surrogate parent, Dean latches on to Ellen Harvelle, a widowed bar owner whose husband was killed on a hunting trip with John. Easily putting her into the place of a mother, Ellen returns the bond with both Dean and Sam, and once again Dean's deep rooted need for parental figures is sated by a surrogate. Additionally, Ellen brings with her a daughter, Jo, a possible sister-figure to Dean, someone more for him to care about and worry over. Easily accepting Jo into this role, Dean doesn't do so as easily when his half-brother Adam is discovered. Jealous of the fact John spent time treating Adam as a child should be treated, and unwilling to consider him of Sam's importance, Dean is somewhat cold to him, even despite not wanting him to get hurt and wanting to keep him out of the hunter lifestyle to protect him, simply because they're blood. Blood doesn't always mean everything to Dean, however, because even the discovery of his grandfather coming back to life and having cousins, Dean is reluctant to simply trust any of them, eluding to Dean's inability to trust anyone as much as he trusts the small safety net of people he has woven himself into.
Castiel, an angel of The Lord, is like a brother to Dean, but doesn't quite reach the level that his own sibling reaches in Dean's list of priorities, as evident by Dean's insistence that Castiel help them find Sam's soul, even despite how Heaven is in a civil war and Castiel is in the middle of it. Eternally grateful to Castiel for pulling him out of Hell, Dean has a deep fondness for him that almost rivals the affection he shows Sam. Castiel and Dean share a "profound bond", something they rely heavily upon between them, and something Castiel lost everything for, giving cause to a lot of guilt Dean carries. Even when Castiel starts to work with Crowley, a demon, Dean insists he should listen to him and avoid the dealings he's doing, and when Castiel is twisted enough by the power trip he is on, Dean cannot help but try to insist he is family and doesn't want to lose him, again reiterating Dean's desperation to keep his family close, both those blood related and not.
Then there is Sam. Dean's relationship with Sam has been described as many things. The two most accurate quotes to describe their bond would be "the most unhealthy, tangled up, crazy thing", said by Dean's own girlfriend Lisa, and “You know Sam and Dean Winchester are psychotically, irrationally, erotically co-dependent on each other, right?” said by the angel Zachariah to their brother, Adam. While both of these statements are firm and harsh, they are for the most part true. Dean is ruthless when it comes to Sam. Having raised his brother himself, Dean is protective over his brother to the point that it is unhealthy and dangerous. His core purpose for living, once everything has fallen apart, is to be with Sam. When the likelihood arises that Sam will succumb to the Croatoan virus, something that will make him as good as a murderous zombie, Dean seals himself in a room with Sam in order to die with him. He simply cannot live if his brother is not alive. Later, when Sam is in fact murdered, Dean goes so far as to sell his soul to a demon in order to bring Sam back to life, despite merely getting one year left to live with Sam at his side. Ultimately, Dean has no sense of self-preservation where Sam's safety comes into play. He will gladly walk into Hell to keep him safe.
Jealousy, possessiveness, and a controlling nature rear their ugly heads where Sam is concerned. Dean is protective of Sam to the point of obsessive and violent, despite knowing that they are each other's biggest weakness and, at the same time, they keep each other human. He feels the need to warn Sam of things and make demands and orders of him, even going as far as feeling thoroughly betrayed when Sam chooses to side with Ruby, a demon, over him. Following the revelation of who they are and what they're destined for, Dean becomes quite literally hell bent on saving Sam from becoming Lucifer's vessel. Trying everything he can, fighting angels and demons, and destiny itself, Dean shows his determination but also his fear of being lost and left alone by what he knows is the only way to end the apocalypse.
In the end, Dean's existence revolves around Sam. Never giving himself a chance at the "apple pie life", Dean only pursues such a lifestyle after promising Sam he would once he was dead, and even then he continually seeks a way to bring his brother back, without knowing he is already alive and despite promising to not do so, admitting later on he was in "misery" without his brother, and that he didn't want a family, he wanted Sam. Dean will go against his morals and everything that makes him who he is as long as it will protect the boy he raised and loves more than anyone else, even going as far as working for Death himself and damning Adam to eternity in Hell to retrieve Sam's soul. Dean himself admits he is afraid of the lengths he will go to in order to keep Sam close to him. Regardless of all the bad, however, Dean and Sam are quite literally soulmates, explaining why they are able to share each other's Heavens, even if their versions of Heaven are very different.
Beyond all the issues and his main purpose in life, Dean is his own man. A natural flirt, even with people he considers family, he tends to be rather promiscuous until he comes to live with Lisa after Sam is lost to Lucifer's Cage. After that, while he is still cheeky and a flirt, he rarely sleeps around and focuses instead on getting Sam his soul back. Always quick to bring a rude comment into things, Dean is mischievous and playful, as well as arrogant and cocky, all bravado and talk. He knows he is good at what he does and isn't ashamed to say so. He is sweet, loving, and surprisingly gentle, somewhat the polar opposite of his brother who, while sweet and loving also, can be something more of a rough and furious person, more rebellious than Dean could ever hope to be. Michael's vessel, Dean is at least rebellious against becoming, for the most part, and yet still agrees to it before he is taken just as Michael is about to arrive. He is tired, he wants everything to be over and done with, but will do what it takes to protect the world and his brother. A heavy drinker with a lot of guilt and agony, plagued with nightmares over the things he did and had done to him in Hell, the apocalypse, and a great many other things, Dean blames himself for a lot of things and considers himself a failure in most other things, but he is still determined to keep going and keep hunting.
Imported Character History: N/A
Powers/Abilities: Dean is mostly normal, in terms of powers and abilities. He knows an incredible amount concerning mythology and lore on monsters, gods, angels, demons and most supernatural creatures. He is skilled with firearms of all kinds, melee weapons, and bare-handed combat. He can also see Fairies due to being taken to their realm and sent back. Additionally, Dean has a tattoo on his chest that stops him from being possessed and Enochian (angelic) sigils on his ribs that hide him from all angels. On top of that, Dean has knowledge of Heaven and Hell from being within both places.
→ SAMPLES;
First Person Sample: video
[Deciding a video is an easy way to spot who is a monster and who isn't, Dean opts to make his arrival a video rather than simply trekking to his supposed apartment and fussing to himself there about the shit storm he was in the middle of. Quick on his feet as always, an alias and story comes to mind instantly.]
The name's Dean Young. I'm looking for my partner, he's about 6'4", big built-- he's gigantor with girly hair. [He rubs at the back of his neck, glancing around himself. He'll opt to leave out the fact he might be randomly shooting at thin air. Poor, poor, crazy little brother.] If anyone's seen him, I'd like directions to find his sorry ass.
[A faint sigh follows and Dean drops his hand, chewing his bottom lip for a moment.] And anything anyone can tell me about this supposed "war to end all wars", that'd be great too.
[Dean pauses for a brief second, flashes a grin, and shuts off the recording.]
Third Person Sample: This place was just one more heap of crap on top of the Hell of an ice cream sundae his life was. Dean sighed as he sat down on the bed of the apartment he'd been supplied with. He knew there was probably a lot he should do, and there was no way he should trust staying in an apartment provided for him by their dear captors, but he was tired. Everything in the past near-decade had been building up and up, and now Cas was dead, or maybe he was, and everything was stupid. Sam having his soul back was a good thing, sure, and the apocalypse was averted, great, but now he was stuck here, in this weird world full of Heaven knew what, and he had nothing. He didn't even have Sammy there to be an over-sized constant. Not to mention how Sam had gone all Beautiful Mind and had no idea what was real and what wasn't until just before they got to the burnt husk of Bobby's house. Was Bobby even alive?
Letting out one more sigh, he ran a hand through his hair and got to his feet. Firstly, he needed guns. Then salt and holy water. Silver and iron. What the Hell else, he didn't care, his head was pounding too hard to go beyond the basics, but he at least gathered what he had. His hand gun was still on him, that was good enough, and he grabbed salt from the kitchen to make lines around the windows and that one door into the apartment. It was a quick and easy job, and Dean thought about the situation while he was at it. This wasn't Heaven, he knew that much, but being forced into situations and being told "deal with this for us" was something he was kind of used to. That didn't mean he believed that was all there was to it, no way in Hell, but he could at least assume there likely was something to hunt here. Maybe this was all bullshit from the Leviathan, maybe they were that powerful. He had no idea.
Chewing on his bottom lip as he slumped down at the kitchen table, he went through the phone and read everything he could. Hours upon hours of research left his eyes tired and his head aching, because there were so many things here he didn't want to have to deal with and he knew he'd do it anyway. He just never could say no to a good old fashioned hunt.
First of all, he needed a story. If he was going to be living here, he needed to have a whole heap of bullshit to fall back on. He'd tried calling for Castiel, that was an idiotic idea to begin with, but it hadn't worked anyway. Cas really was dead. In the end, he had to suffer this ordeal and then he'd deal with everything when he got home. It'd probably only be a matter of hours in his own time anyway. It always worked like that. It'd just be nice to have back up, even in the form of Baby, the Impala he lived in. Either way, he was on his own and screwed for now, so he had to make the best of it.
Name: Cupcake
Personal Journal: ageofdragons
Contact: AIM/Plurk - cupcakeenigma
Timezone: GMT
Current Characters:
→ CHARACTER INFORMATION;
Character Name: Dean Winchester
Character Journal: likemichael
Canon: Supernatural
Canon Point: Season 7, Episode 2, just as he and Sam arrive at Bobby's burned down home.
Canon Building: The 1967 Chevrolet Impala.
History: The Life and Times of Dean Winchester.
Personality: "Frightened little boy, the secret life of Dean." There are many ways to describe Dean Winchester but a frightened little boy is the most accurate. While he is brave, confident, loving, strong, powerful, and determined, more than anything Dean is a scared child. Fighting monsters on a nearly daily basis should be enough to call him a fearless man but Dean is terrified of many things. He doesn't want to be alone, he doesn't want to go to Hell again, he doesn't want the blind happiness Heaven offers, he simply wants to live out his life and have his brother with him for the whole journey. He fears being abandoned but at the same time he fears being a failure in his main purpose in life, the thing that makes him who he is: Sam's protector.
Described best by Dean himself; "Watching out for you is my job. More than that, it's who I am." From the moment four year old Dean was handed six month old Sam, told to run outside and don't look back, Dean has been the primary carer for his brother. Even with their father around, Dean played the roles of father, mother, and older brother to his sibling, as well as taking care of his grieving parent and, before her death, comforting his mother Mary when she was unhappy with his father, John. Dean is a natural born caregiver, making sure everyone is safe and happy before his own needs, even when he wanted to be upset and angry, choosing to take charge of things and ensure their lives ran as smoothly as life could for a family of hunters. Even despite that ingrained caring depth, Dean covers it perfectly with enough bravado and confidence that most outsiders assume he is a regular guy who has a very close bond with his brother and a taste for scotch and women. While these are all parts of what make Dean who he is, above all, watching out for Sam is who he is.
Dean has considerable issues where family is concerned, however. While he barely knew his mother, her death coming when he was only four, he finds the thought of her presence as something consistently comforting, even going so far as to repeatedly try to stop her death from happening when dragged into the past by angels. A deep rooted wish of his being that she had never died, a Djinn (evil genie) takes advantage of this in order to kill Dean, leaving him mentally locked up in a dream world of what would have happened if she hadn't died, and although this life seems nearly perfect, Dean rejects it purely on the basis of how his relationship with Sam is not how it is in the real world. Despite not being able to have her back, Dean still cares deeply, although his affection for his mother is somewhat dislocated, given he can easily admit to finding her attractive, saying "Mom's a babe. And I'm going to Hell. Again."
Where his father is concerned, Dean has a lot of difficulty, at first, accepting that his father isn't the golden hero he makes him out to be. Growing up, Dean modelled himself on his father; the music he listens to, the bravado he struts around with, the way he dresses, everything is to mimic his father, and eventually Dean makes the whole ensemble his own. He becomes his own version of John Winchester, hoping to become a better version, somehow. He has deep rooted desperation to prove himself to John because, no matter how he tried to be like him, Sam was always that much more like John, while Dean was always just like Mary. Needing a paternal figure in his life, Dean often lets older men he knows slip into that role, but none more so than Bobby Singer. The old hunter is more of a father than John ever was for both Sam and Dean, and Dean considers him that himself, while Bobby even chastises him for trying to behave like John. Bobby is who Dean turns to when things are too much and he can't go to Sam, showing Dean's need to rely on those around him.
Family plays an integral role in Dean's life, making him do things he never thought he'd do, simply because familial bonds are in place, but this doesn't always mean a blood bond. Again, needing a surrogate parent, Dean latches on to Ellen Harvelle, a widowed bar owner whose husband was killed on a hunting trip with John. Easily putting her into the place of a mother, Ellen returns the bond with both Dean and Sam, and once again Dean's deep rooted need for parental figures is sated by a surrogate. Additionally, Ellen brings with her a daughter, Jo, a possible sister-figure to Dean, someone more for him to care about and worry over. Easily accepting Jo into this role, Dean doesn't do so as easily when his half-brother Adam is discovered. Jealous of the fact John spent time treating Adam as a child should be treated, and unwilling to consider him of Sam's importance, Dean is somewhat cold to him, even despite not wanting him to get hurt and wanting to keep him out of the hunter lifestyle to protect him, simply because they're blood. Blood doesn't always mean everything to Dean, however, because even the discovery of his grandfather coming back to life and having cousins, Dean is reluctant to simply trust any of them, eluding to Dean's inability to trust anyone as much as he trusts the small safety net of people he has woven himself into.
Castiel, an angel of The Lord, is like a brother to Dean, but doesn't quite reach the level that his own sibling reaches in Dean's list of priorities, as evident by Dean's insistence that Castiel help them find Sam's soul, even despite how Heaven is in a civil war and Castiel is in the middle of it. Eternally grateful to Castiel for pulling him out of Hell, Dean has a deep fondness for him that almost rivals the affection he shows Sam. Castiel and Dean share a "profound bond", something they rely heavily upon between them, and something Castiel lost everything for, giving cause to a lot of guilt Dean carries. Even when Castiel starts to work with Crowley, a demon, Dean insists he should listen to him and avoid the dealings he's doing, and when Castiel is twisted enough by the power trip he is on, Dean cannot help but try to insist he is family and doesn't want to lose him, again reiterating Dean's desperation to keep his family close, both those blood related and not.
Then there is Sam. Dean's relationship with Sam has been described as many things. The two most accurate quotes to describe their bond would be "the most unhealthy, tangled up, crazy thing", said by Dean's own girlfriend Lisa, and “You know Sam and Dean Winchester are psychotically, irrationally, erotically co-dependent on each other, right?” said by the angel Zachariah to their brother, Adam. While both of these statements are firm and harsh, they are for the most part true. Dean is ruthless when it comes to Sam. Having raised his brother himself, Dean is protective over his brother to the point that it is unhealthy and dangerous. His core purpose for living, once everything has fallen apart, is to be with Sam. When the likelihood arises that Sam will succumb to the Croatoan virus, something that will make him as good as a murderous zombie, Dean seals himself in a room with Sam in order to die with him. He simply cannot live if his brother is not alive. Later, when Sam is in fact murdered, Dean goes so far as to sell his soul to a demon in order to bring Sam back to life, despite merely getting one year left to live with Sam at his side. Ultimately, Dean has no sense of self-preservation where Sam's safety comes into play. He will gladly walk into Hell to keep him safe.
Jealousy, possessiveness, and a controlling nature rear their ugly heads where Sam is concerned. Dean is protective of Sam to the point of obsessive and violent, despite knowing that they are each other's biggest weakness and, at the same time, they keep each other human. He feels the need to warn Sam of things and make demands and orders of him, even going as far as feeling thoroughly betrayed when Sam chooses to side with Ruby, a demon, over him. Following the revelation of who they are and what they're destined for, Dean becomes quite literally hell bent on saving Sam from becoming Lucifer's vessel. Trying everything he can, fighting angels and demons, and destiny itself, Dean shows his determination but also his fear of being lost and left alone by what he knows is the only way to end the apocalypse.
In the end, Dean's existence revolves around Sam. Never giving himself a chance at the "apple pie life", Dean only pursues such a lifestyle after promising Sam he would once he was dead, and even then he continually seeks a way to bring his brother back, without knowing he is already alive and despite promising to not do so, admitting later on he was in "misery" without his brother, and that he didn't want a family, he wanted Sam. Dean will go against his morals and everything that makes him who he is as long as it will protect the boy he raised and loves more than anyone else, even going as far as working for Death himself and damning Adam to eternity in Hell to retrieve Sam's soul. Dean himself admits he is afraid of the lengths he will go to in order to keep Sam close to him. Regardless of all the bad, however, Dean and Sam are quite literally soulmates, explaining why they are able to share each other's Heavens, even if their versions of Heaven are very different.
Beyond all the issues and his main purpose in life, Dean is his own man. A natural flirt, even with people he considers family, he tends to be rather promiscuous until he comes to live with Lisa after Sam is lost to Lucifer's Cage. After that, while he is still cheeky and a flirt, he rarely sleeps around and focuses instead on getting Sam his soul back. Always quick to bring a rude comment into things, Dean is mischievous and playful, as well as arrogant and cocky, all bravado and talk. He knows he is good at what he does and isn't ashamed to say so. He is sweet, loving, and surprisingly gentle, somewhat the polar opposite of his brother who, while sweet and loving also, can be something more of a rough and furious person, more rebellious than Dean could ever hope to be. Michael's vessel, Dean is at least rebellious against becoming, for the most part, and yet still agrees to it before he is taken just as Michael is about to arrive. He is tired, he wants everything to be over and done with, but will do what it takes to protect the world and his brother. A heavy drinker with a lot of guilt and agony, plagued with nightmares over the things he did and had done to him in Hell, the apocalypse, and a great many other things, Dean blames himself for a lot of things and considers himself a failure in most other things, but he is still determined to keep going and keep hunting.
Imported Character History: N/A
Powers/Abilities: Dean is mostly normal, in terms of powers and abilities. He knows an incredible amount concerning mythology and lore on monsters, gods, angels, demons and most supernatural creatures. He is skilled with firearms of all kinds, melee weapons, and bare-handed combat. He can also see Fairies due to being taken to their realm and sent back. Additionally, Dean has a tattoo on his chest that stops him from being possessed and Enochian (angelic) sigils on his ribs that hide him from all angels. On top of that, Dean has knowledge of Heaven and Hell from being within both places.
→ SAMPLES;
First Person Sample: video
[Deciding a video is an easy way to spot who is a monster and who isn't, Dean opts to make his arrival a video rather than simply trekking to his supposed apartment and fussing to himself there about the shit storm he was in the middle of. Quick on his feet as always, an alias and story comes to mind instantly.]
The name's Dean Young. I'm looking for my partner, he's about 6'4", big built-- he's gigantor with girly hair. [He rubs at the back of his neck, glancing around himself. He'll opt to leave out the fact he might be randomly shooting at thin air. Poor, poor, crazy little brother.] If anyone's seen him, I'd like directions to find his sorry ass.
[A faint sigh follows and Dean drops his hand, chewing his bottom lip for a moment.] And anything anyone can tell me about this supposed "war to end all wars", that'd be great too.
[Dean pauses for a brief second, flashes a grin, and shuts off the recording.]
Third Person Sample: This place was just one more heap of crap on top of the Hell of an ice cream sundae his life was. Dean sighed as he sat down on the bed of the apartment he'd been supplied with. He knew there was probably a lot he should do, and there was no way he should trust staying in an apartment provided for him by their dear captors, but he was tired. Everything in the past near-decade had been building up and up, and now Cas was dead, or maybe he was, and everything was stupid. Sam having his soul back was a good thing, sure, and the apocalypse was averted, great, but now he was stuck here, in this weird world full of Heaven knew what, and he had nothing. He didn't even have Sammy there to be an over-sized constant. Not to mention how Sam had gone all Beautiful Mind and had no idea what was real and what wasn't until just before they got to the burnt husk of Bobby's house. Was Bobby even alive?
Letting out one more sigh, he ran a hand through his hair and got to his feet. Firstly, he needed guns. Then salt and holy water. Silver and iron. What the Hell else, he didn't care, his head was pounding too hard to go beyond the basics, but he at least gathered what he had. His hand gun was still on him, that was good enough, and he grabbed salt from the kitchen to make lines around the windows and that one door into the apartment. It was a quick and easy job, and Dean thought about the situation while he was at it. This wasn't Heaven, he knew that much, but being forced into situations and being told "deal with this for us" was something he was kind of used to. That didn't mean he believed that was all there was to it, no way in Hell, but he could at least assume there likely was something to hunt here. Maybe this was all bullshit from the Leviathan, maybe they were that powerful. He had no idea.
Chewing on his bottom lip as he slumped down at the kitchen table, he went through the phone and read everything he could. Hours upon hours of research left his eyes tired and his head aching, because there were so many things here he didn't want to have to deal with and he knew he'd do it anyway. He just never could say no to a good old fashioned hunt.
First of all, he needed a story. If he was going to be living here, he needed to have a whole heap of bullshit to fall back on. He'd tried calling for Castiel, that was an idiotic idea to begin with, but it hadn't worked anyway. Cas really was dead. In the end, he had to suffer this ordeal and then he'd deal with everything when he got home. It'd probably only be a matter of hours in his own time anyway. It always worked like that. It'd just be nice to have back up, even in the form of Baby, the Impala he lived in. Either way, he was on his own and screwed for now, so he had to make the best of it.